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dpaterso
01-16-2007, 01:18 AM
It crawled out from under the kitchen bin. Big and black it was, radiating evil purpose. I briefly touched its savage mind and recoiled in horror, perceiving that it planned to climb upstairs and sneak into the bedroom and lower itself into my mouth while I slept, or maybe into one of my nostrils. So I gave it the big slipper squish treatment. Only thing is, I now have my slipper pressed firmly against the floor and I'm not going to lift it up for anything. Just in case it's still alive and waiting in ambush.

-Derek

MidnightMuse
01-16-2007, 01:21 AM
Good plan. I'd get a brick, just to be sure.

writerterri
01-16-2007, 01:44 AM
What did you stamp it with? :P

arrowqueen
01-16-2007, 01:45 AM
You should never kill a spider. That brings on the rain.

pink lily
01-16-2007, 01:48 AM
I just stomp them. Stamps are like 39 cents each.

;)

JIMBOS
01-16-2007, 01:56 AM
Ya know...They do eat bugs!

whistlelock
01-16-2007, 01:58 AM
Give it the ol' "stare at it till it goes away" treatment. See if that works.

Marlys
01-16-2007, 01:59 AM
They're not evil--they kill bugs. If there are too many, or are too big for my kid's peace of mind, they go outside and defend the perimeter.

PattiTheWicked
01-16-2007, 02:03 AM
The rule around here is that once a spider crosses my threshold into the house, it's fair game. If I don't see it and squash it first, the cats eat it. The only reprieve it might get is if my son finds it before the rest of it -- he'll want to put it in a glass jar and watch it do stuff.

maestrowork
01-16-2007, 02:11 AM
Go watch Charlotte's Web and feel the guilt, you spider killer!

tjwriter
01-16-2007, 02:30 AM
They eat bugs!! Mosquitoes and flies and things like that.

I had one that lived behind my door in my old house. It really helped to cut down on flies and such that made it into the house. It was cool.

Cathy C
01-16-2007, 02:32 AM
I used to have a warm fluffy spot in my heart for spiders. They roamed freely in the house and if in the way, I'd gently move them to the side. They eat flies and ants and such.

But then a Brown Recluse bit me while I was minding my own business, sleeping in my own wittle bed. :eek: After two months of antibiotics that gave me hives, barely missing skin graft surgery on my thigh, and pumping enough steriods into my system to make me gain ten pounds, I lost my sympathy for their plight. :rant:

It's scorched earth policy in my home now. If the other spiders don't like it, they can take it up with the 'bit and run' culprit.

WildScribe
01-16-2007, 02:34 AM
I ignore the spiders because I know the cats will eat them. The cats eat flies, too. Good kitties. I do sometimes put them outside when I can, though. They don't deserve to be smooshed just for coming in out of the cold, but if they're dumb enough to roam around at cat eye-level... well, that's their fault. There is a daddy long-legs who lives in the shower. I say HI when I go wash myself, and then ignore him. We seem to get along fine that way.

kikazaru
01-16-2007, 02:42 AM
I like spiders, but then we don't have nasty bitey ones here. Anyway this thread is just crying out for this Youtube video I came across yesterday. Made me laugh, and if any Cdns watch it, they will appreciate it even more.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PK3kgLINaHk&eurl=

SpookyWriter
01-16-2007, 02:45 AM
Ha! See what happens when you mess around with mother-fricken-nature. You're doomed now. I'd go into hiding before the cricket mod is hired to kill you. Or maybe you'll wake up with a worm crawling around your skull. Run! Hide, and never look back because you're a marked man for sure.

Hhahahhahahaaa....

Dawno
01-16-2007, 02:49 AM
hmph.

Eggplant.

SpookyWriter
01-16-2007, 02:54 AM
hmph.

Eggplant.Uh? I thought Orlando was a tropical fruit? Hmmm...

Dawno
01-16-2007, 02:59 AM
You made me give up on Orlando, remember? That's when I switched to Eggplant.

tlblack
01-16-2007, 03:06 AM
Spiders are creepy! I have come to "get along" with them after working in a warehouse full of black widows, brown recluses, and some weird looking kind that I have never found the name. They find their way outside if they get in now. There is one that resides in the kitchen window between the pane and the screen, so technically she is outside the house, but I watched her capture and spin up a yellow jacket that had somehow gotten in there with her. It was twice her size but she was ruthless. Considering bees give me the willies... gooooooood spider. She can stay.

SC Harrison
01-16-2007, 03:12 AM
I generally employ the "catch and release outside" method. One reason for this is because they eat bugs, but the more important reason is that I want to stay on their good side, and don't want to be brought to the attention of the spider hierarchy, as they may deem me a "clear and present danger" that needs to be "dealt with."

I have this image of them sitting around discussing problems, and when my name comes up some moderately respected spider interrupts with, "Naw, he's alright. You remember that story I told you about being captured and released twice in one week? Yeah. That was him. He's cool."

SpookyWriter
01-16-2007, 03:16 AM
You made me give up on Orlando, remember? That's when I switched to Eggplant.Same difference, yes? :D

Serenity
01-16-2007, 03:24 AM
Yeah, I picked the 'don't give a damn' choice, only because I love the line. :tongue But, give me a spider any day. Ants now, that's a different story. I wage germ warfare on ants...

Susie
01-16-2007, 03:51 AM
I say to spiders and such, live and let live, but if they pick on me, howie or any of my AW friends - watch out! :)

roach
01-16-2007, 04:07 AM
Me and spiders have this agreement. They stay in their area and I stay in mine. If any of them are caught in my area they get smooshed. Although more often than not I am not the one doing the smooshing. I scream and run away when faced with arachnids.

The Lady
01-16-2007, 04:27 AM
Ah, spiders are cute but then we don't have the biting kind. Also we refer to them as money spiders and when you see one, if you let it crawl on your hand you will come in to major financial luck. I dread to think what's going to happen to the bank balance of someone who stomped on one.

However there is another kind of insect whose very name bring me out in a cold sweat and if one of those got in the house I'd just evacuate.

paprikapink
01-16-2007, 04:33 AM
Go watch Charlotte's Web and feel the guilt, you spider killer!

Thanks to E. B. White, I have apologized to every spider I have killed since I was ten years old. And that's a lot of spiders.

So I couldn't answer the poll cuz there's no "You shoulda said sorry first" choice.

stormie
01-16-2007, 04:42 AM
I used to have a warm fluffy spot in my heart for spiders. But then a Brown Recluse bit me.... After two months of antibiotics that gave me hives...,and pumping enough steriods into my system to make me gain ten pounds, I lost my sympathy for their plight.
About six summers ago, this happened to me, too. Don't know what kind of spider, but the doctor said it was a spider bite (that's what I get for cleaning the cobwebs off the ceilings). Hives, swelling, joints that would freeze-up. Uh-uh. Spiders and me don't see eye-to-eye anymore. No way, no how.

stormie
01-16-2007, 04:44 AM
One more thing. I read in one of the Farmer's Almanacs (2006 issue, I think)that house spiders don't do well outside. They'll die. :D

Carrie in PA
01-16-2007, 04:50 AM
I hate spiders. Good riddance.

icerose
01-16-2007, 05:24 AM
Ah, spiders are cute but then we don't have the biting kind. Also we refer to them as money spiders and when you see one, if you let it crawl on your hand you will come in to major financial luck. I dread to think what's going to happen to the bank balance of someone who stomped on one.



Maybe that's my whole problem.

I have a "if you come into my house and I catch you I squash you" policy. If they are outside I don't bother them because of the helpful eating policy.

pink lily
01-16-2007, 05:55 AM
I told a spider story once, right after it happened. October 2, 2005. 10:31am.


Hogna Frondicola

Ok so I was sitting in chat at 7:55 my time today, when I was suddenly surprised to see a GIANT F-ING CLOCK SPIDER (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Clock_Spider) walking up the cord to my printer, which is on a shelf above my desk. I didn't take it very well, he was HUGE. So there was much screaming and cursing and begging my husband to please get rid of this giant 8-legged freak. He caught it in a can with a lid, and threw it in the recycle bin.

He changed his mind after 10 minutes and tossed the spider out the back window, where it landed on the hose and remained for 2 hours. I just went out there to take a closer look, to see what sort of monster I was dealing with. (I spent all morning looking at spider images to try to determine what he was. The only giant spiders we get in South Jersey are wolf spiders.) At first I thought his abdomen was too round for him to be a wolf spider, but then I saw this page on Wikipedia: Hogna frondicola (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:Hogna_frondicola.jpg). A google image search led me to this page: http://bugguide.net/node/view/19324

GAH! I had that in my ROOM!

Now, to make it worse... he crawled off the hose and he's out there in the grass in the backyard! Just spidering away! I wanted to step on him but my husband said that it would be cruel, that there are probably hundreds (!) of spiders in the grass, not bothering anyone. I think he would have tried to eat my foot if I stepped near him, anyway.

He's out there... my own personal clock spider... and I can't see him... :eek:
Some spiders can't be stamped. Or stomped. Or stopped.

paprikapink
01-16-2007, 05:56 AM
However there is another kind of insect whose very name bring me out in a cold sweat and if one of those got in the house I'd just evacuate.

Cockroach?
Ladybug?
Honeybee?
Ant?
Potato bug?
Scorpion?
Lacewing?
Mosquito?
Chigger?
No-see-um?

SC Harrison
01-16-2007, 06:21 AM
One more thing. I read in one of the Farmer's Almanacs (2006 issue, I think)that house spiders don't do well outside. They'll die. :D

That's just great.

Now I'm going to have to knit them a little sweater, give them a few bucks spending money and deliver the "don't talk to strangers" lecture before I drop them on a leaf of one of my azaleas.

Susie
01-16-2007, 07:46 AM
:roll: SC. Thanks much for the chuckle!

Mom'sWrite
01-16-2007, 08:57 AM
I got a contract with the creepy crawlies around here.

If you (meaning: the creepy crawly) are in my house expect to get exterminated promptly followed by much rejoicing amongst the humans. If you (meaning: the creepy crawly) are outside my house, you may live in peace. PS: The garage is part of the house and so is the guest house and so is the barbeque. The pool pumps are a gray area so it's best to avoid them.

mooncars
01-16-2007, 09:45 AM
Did you know the average person has eaten at least one spider in their sleep?

That said, I have no mercy on those creepy creeps.

Splat!
Rick

The Lady
01-16-2007, 12:57 PM
Cockroach?
Ladybug?
Honeybee?
Ant?
Potato bug?
Scorpion?
Lacewing?
Mosquito?
Chigger?
No-see-um?

Yup it's one of those. I can't even bring myself to write it down. It's that kind of phobia.

Bmwhtly
01-16-2007, 01:18 PM
We don't have the bitey spiders around here.
So I feel free to eliminate any I come across without fear of retribution.

However, I don't squish them. Partly because it leaves a mess, partly because there is always a leg that sticks to my shoe and follows me round the house.
So I hoover them. That's right, I wheel out the vacuum and *slurp*.
I kinda worry about them surviving the trip and crawling out of the bag, down the tube and chasing me so once I've hoovered the bug, I hoover the carpets too.

That's why my place looks much cleaner in the summer.

dpaterso
01-16-2007, 02:31 PM
Poll results to date are uplifting and significant.

Many of you supported me in my hour of need, for which I am grateful. This was a vicious unprovoked attack by an eight-legged predator of indeterminate size (it looked helluva big to me, then again my eyes were bulging outward in terror so some kind of optical distortion may have occurred). Reading your supportive responses, I now feel that my decision to ruthlessly exterminate the fiend by subjecting it to incalculable physical pressure was the right one.

Slightly less many of you suggested I should have picked it up and put it outside. What? Pick up a spider that might crawl up my hand and run up my arm and onto my face and into my mouth? Falsetto scream! Just not going to happen. Anyways, as has been suggested in this very thread, putting the spider outside may have resulted in a far worse death. My more direct and practical method may therefore be construed as a merciful killing.

A handful of voters said they didn't care. This hurts more than I can put into words. I have been poo-pood. But I still love you. Unless you're a spider, in which case, I don't.

Regardless of your choices, thank you for your participation. The poll will remain open for another day so it's not too late to wildly skew the results and/or make me look like a little boy who's scared by creepy crawlies and needs his teddy bear to sleep at night (because spiders always go for their natural enemy, the teddy bear, first). Note, the poll results may be freely quoted in dinner party conversations.

-Derek

Foinah
01-16-2007, 02:49 PM
I am a devoted arachnaphobic. I have had so many nasty spider encounters, bordering on the bizarre, that they don't seem to be true. BUT THEY ARE! I truly couldn't make these things up. Regardless, I always used to take spiders outside. There would be screams and squirms as I caught the eight legged beast in a cup and tossed it out.

No more.

We have a serious Hobo spider problem here in Portland. I have been bitten twice and I have a young daughter to think of. There is a swift and decidedly violent death awaiting any spider in my home. Well, not really. Wolf spiders hunt hobo spiders so they get a free pass. Unless it is in my room...

Here is a quick tale :

It was my birthday and I was hosting a dinner party for myself - I'm a chef so I delight in preparing fantastic gourmet seven course meals. I love watching people enjoy my food. But I digress. My office, at the time, was in our basement. My husband and I were going to go get the tables we had rented for the party and I wanted my cool and quite sassy leather cowboy hat. I grabbed it from a chair in my office (didn't look in it or shake it out) and plunked it on my noggin. Off we went.
Do you see what's coming???

In the car I felt this slight tickling sensation on my forehead. Suddenly this GIGANTIC spider ran down my face, across my cheek, and into my ear and then back up my cheek again. It took all of three seconds for the trip but it seemed like an eternity. I let out a blood curdling shriek- right in my husband's ear, sucked in all of my breath and grabbed the spider and threw it to the floor. I then leapt out of the passenger seat (this is a Subaru Outback) and onto my husband's lap while he was driving. He swerved up onto the sidewalk and the car stalled.

We have been together long enough that he knows the spider shriek when he hears it. I still hadn't taken a breath and was literally curled up in a fetal position on his lap. Awkward, but definitely doable. All he said was, "Where is it."
Then he told me to breath and he hugged me.
I still couldn't breathe, my chest felt like I had an iron band around it, so I pointed at the floor board and pulled my legs further onto his lap. He got out of the car with me still attached and gently leaned me against the front of the car. I started seeing flashes in my vision so I let out my breath in a sour rush of fear spiked air and wobbled on my feet.

He tried to take the spider out of the car without killing it, but its abdomen was so large it just exploded when he rolled it with a piece of paper.
Bleh!!!

It was a hobo. It was at least the size of a silver dollar. At least it didn't bite me.

That is one among the many stories of the same ilk. Spiders dropping off my visor while I drove - I ended up in a ditch in the pouring rain and some good samaritan stopped. She was so sweet...I could barely speak and managed to squeak out, "Spider." She asked if I wanted her husband to get it and of course I said yes. Chivalry is not dead...oh no. This poor befuddled dear man stood in the pouring rain trying to catch a tiny jumping wolf spider; I wouldn't let him kill it ;)

Spiders dropping down the front of my dress and me stripping in public while I screamed hysterically...

Tarantula migrations through my camping spot in the middle of the night...

Waking up to a spider dangling above my chin...
Oh, the list goes on.

I was told by a Nez Perce Shaman that I have spider magic. I DON'T WANT IT. Don't want that particular watts line to the great beyond.

I've thought of putting together all of my stories and maybe some from other people in a book. If you'd like to send me your harrowing stories it might be a fun project.

dpaterso
01-16-2007, 09:22 PM
The horror. The horror. The involuntary bladder release. The horror.

-Derek

expatbrat
01-16-2007, 10:08 PM
You should never kill a spider. That brings on the rain.

So you are saying that all the Aussies need to do it go about killing spiders? (Big drought problems in Australia right now - I can see why you Scottish wouldn't want to bring on the rain thou).

Australia has most of the worlds most deadly spiders so I am sure most people will be real happy to kill as many as possible, especially if it means their gardens, lawns, crops, farms will grow.

To all you save-the-spiders-cause-they-eat-the-bigs people: Geckos eat bugs - you don't need spiders. Geckos are cute and nice and eat bugs and never ever bite you. Save geckos, not spiders.

Rolling Thunder
01-17-2007, 01:01 AM
1835

Shadow_Ferret
01-17-2007, 01:11 AM
Am I the only one who will stand up for spider rights?

You should have captured it and returned it to the outdoors so it could frolic in your garden eating curds and way. um. weigh. um. the liquidy part of curds.

That's what I do. I always capture them and return them to their natural environment outside.

Granted it's winter here, but hey, that's not my fault.

Shadow_Ferret
01-17-2007, 01:13 AM
We have a serious Hobo spider problem here in Portland.

Hey! The politically correct term is homeless spider.

hobo indeed!

Bmwhtly
01-17-2007, 01:14 AM
Flies are a different matter.

You know if you catch a fly (alive), stick it in the freezer. It'll look dead. But then take it out, hold it in your hands and your body heat will revive it.

I use it to scare market researchers (I had one run out muttering "The dead Live"

But then, torturing market researchers is a hobby of mine.

AnneMarble
01-17-2007, 01:30 AM
I put up with spiders because they eat the other bugs, and I save so much money on bug spray. :D I do have my rules, though. They have to keep to themselves, and if I'm expecting visitors, the spidey houses are history.

But don't get me started on those scones I bought during my lunch break and kept in my office, which was right next to the loading dock, which was right next to the outdoors. Ants, ants, ants, all over the scones. And I was out of bug spray. Stamp, stamp, stamp, squish (*water in sink running*) stamp, stamp, stamp squish squish. There were oodles of them, no doubt speaking with high-pitched British accents. ("My dear woman, you mean to say you have no clotted cream and black currant jelly?") You can bet I bought some bug spray after that.
:flag:

Jaycinth
01-17-2007, 01:31 AM
You people do realize that as soon as Tsuki reads this thread and groks what ch'all do to spiders she's going to............................

JoeEkaitis
01-17-2007, 01:32 AM
Ya know...They do eat bugs!True. People who kill anything but a black widow or brown recluse should be eaten in their beds by the ants the spiders would have kept in check.

Unique
01-17-2007, 01:34 AM
Did you know the average person has eaten at least one spider in their sleep?

That said, I have no mercy on those creepy creeps.

Splat!
Rick

Thank God I am not average.

ew. spiders. We have Hobo spiders here, too. Rain's been bitten twice. They look a lot like Wolf spiders but who wants to get close enough to make sure.

Out, out, danged spider!

MidnightMuse
01-17-2007, 01:38 AM
True. People who kill anything but a black widow or brown recluse should be eaten in their beds by the ants the spiders would have kept in check.

Those blasted arachnids have fallen down on the job - I pay an exterminator to spray my house for ants every other month. In revenge, since I can't get the spiders to pay the bill, if they come inside they're dead spider-meat.

If they're outside, and make no forward motion toward me, I'll turn a blind eye.

Bmwhtly
01-17-2007, 01:55 AM
Muse is right.

I'd like to say that when I see a spider in the street, I go out of my way not to kill it.

But this is Scotland, the people only walk outside when they have no choice. Spiders have no warm clothes, you never see them outside.

paprikapink
01-17-2007, 05:03 AM
I was at work and a skinny ol' daddy-long-legs-style spider appeared next to my monitor. Naturally, I screamed.

Instantly, the new guy was in my cubicle asking what was going on -- "SPIDER!" I gasped.

As he blythely carried it out by the leg he said, "Oh. I thought someone was having an orgasm around here and I didn't want to miss that."

expatbrat
01-17-2007, 07:59 AM
You guys just like spiders and bugs because you don't have many. I have to open my cereal and put it in lock boxes and zip bags when I get home cause the ants can actually open the new packets and get in there, and cereal is expensive here. We have the breadbox on ant trap thingys so they can't get in there and this white powder stuff around all the cupboards (which the ants just laugh at and walk around). I kill at least a few hundred ants a day.

Then there are the jumping spiders, they give you a bite which is 20 worse that a mosquito bite, and these bastards like to get into bed with you at night so you can wake up covered in red welts. Never bring the washing in from outside and put it on your bed; that is just inviting jumping spiders into bed with you.

Mosquitoes are also a problem (and I've already had malaria once), they hide in the washing, under tables and usually we get at least a score of them in the house each day. Gecko eat many of them but there are far more mossies then the geckos can eat. My stupid maid left the back door open last month and I counted 30 dead mosquito corpses in just our bathroom (I'd sprayed them), there were plenty more around the house.

If I catch them and let them outside they will just come back in! Or breed and send their kids in... NO WAY!!! Come here and live (or try Australia which is full of deadly bite-ies) and let’s see how long you want to live with millions of biting bugs.

Foinah
01-17-2007, 08:21 AM
1835


AAAAAIIIIIIGGGHHHHHH!!!!!

No, no,no....shudder

BenPanced
01-17-2007, 09:21 AM
I'm another phobic. I refuse to see the new version of Charlotte's Web because I gasp in horror during the coming attractions on our 25" TV set, so whyinnahell would I want to see that same thing on a movie screen 100 times that size?!

I'd rather watch Daniel Craig's abs, then kew. I'm sorry. Was that out loud?:popcorn:

Foinah
01-17-2007, 10:25 AM
True. People who kill anything but a black widow or brown recluse should be eaten in their beds by the ants the spiders would have kept in check.
Bah! bomp, bomp on the head! Bomp, bomp! I actually broke a table leg on the corpse of a mangled spider. That took some doing, mad skills, yo! Spiders don't eat ants....ant eaters eat ants. They are the ones who are slacking! I'll add ants to my target list if they try anything dodgy!

ShadowFerret, how unbelievably un-PC of me to utilize a stereotype and accommodation-biased misnomer for my arachnid nemesis. What was I thinking? hmmmmm. :D

They are also called Aggressive Brown House Spiders. And yes, that is what they are. How about I start calling them "crushed puddles of stringy-legged shoe goo."

Ooh, I rather like that :)

maestrowork
01-17-2007, 08:16 PM
Look at this beauty I found in my yard last summer:

http://i38.photobucket.com/albums/e138/maestrowork/spider.jpg


http://i38.photobucket.com/albums/e138/maestrowork/spider2.jpg

dpaterso
01-17-2007, 09:09 PM
Oh come on, no way I'm going to click on these links! :eek:

If you want arachnophobes to look at spider pics, you must think like the spider. Lure the suckers in by saying the pics are, oh, I dunno, big naked blonde girls rubbing gleaming baby oil over each other. Just as an example.

-Derek

maestrowork
01-17-2007, 09:30 PM
Ask and you shall receive:

Naked blonde girls rubbing gleaming baby oil over each other (http://i38.photobucket.com/albums/e138/maestrowork/spider.jpg).

TsukiRyoko
02-23-2007, 10:15 AM
You people do realize that as soon as Tsuki reads this thread and groks what ch'all do to spiders she's going to............................
...Kill them. I just found this thread, and you all better start running!