Writing Telepathy

Italics.

Anything else will have to overcome centuries of standards.

I already use italics for memories and for emphasis in both the narrative and dialog.

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wow. you use a lot of italics.

Second, I find it annoying to read entire conversations in italics.

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entire conversations via telepathy? That will be tough for a number of different reasons.

You've got two people in different locations (if they're in the same location, they could just talk like normal people), which means you've got to keep the reader informed of what's going on in the different locations, what surrounds them, what each one is doing, and so on. And if they're not doing anything and the location is irrelevant, you've got a "talking head" scene, which can go flat quickly.

If you have a scene with two people having a normal discussion, you can keep the reader grounded by referencing the physical surroundings, having them do stuff together that puts the dialog into context. The possibility for something other than dialogue is always present. One person might hit the other. Or might kiss the other. And even if the conversation is somewhat flat, the fact that there is potential for action makes the scene more interesting.

telepathy is dialogue in a vacuum, and that will be hard to keep going for any lengthy discussion.

greglondon said:

telepathy is dialogue in a vacuum, and that will be hard to keep going for any lengthy discussion.

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No it's not. It's dialogue without speech and is no different than any other dialogue except there will be characters that can't hear it.

If the characters are in two different locations, you only need to worry about what is going on around the POV character, not all the characters in the discussion, the same as if it were a radio or telephone conversation.

I use italics to show thoughts and square brackets for telepathic dialogue. You could also change font.

Some books use bold inset for telepathic conversations, too.

Robin Hobb does it really well in her books. The Farseer and the ships ones. There's quite a bit of unspoken communication.

I'd stick with italics, really; you don't want to get too fancy. Although, in the Animorphs book series they used < > and I thought it worked pretty well--except if an Animorphs fan reads it, they'll be sure you got it from that.

And in Animorphs, there were plenty of times when the two speakers would be right next to each other, they just would be in forms that didn't allow vocal communication. Or, they needed to communicate to a few people but not all. So telepathy may close some doors, but it opens others.

I also use a lot of italics when I write (often in every paragraph), so this same question came up with regard to telepathic conversation between two people. Our editor chose to publish the book with the telepathic bits in a different FONT (specifically Arial Bold) This helped set it apart from normal speech, because speaking can be going on with different people in the room while mental conversation is happening as an aside. It really helps ground the reader once they know it's how the mental stuff is handled.

I think if you state in a note to the agent/editor that this is what you'll do in the text, you'll be fine. If you want to be extra careful, you can put a notation in the left margin of "font=Arial." At least, that's what I'd do. Good luck!

greglondon said:

You've got two people in different locations (if they're in the same location, they could just talk like normal people), which means you've got to keep the reader informed of what's going on in the different locations, what surrounds them, what each one is doing, and so on. And if they're not doing anything and the location is irrelevant, you've got a "talking head" scene, which can go flat quickly.

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You need to read more; extended conversations via telepathy have been used exceedingly successfully in fiction since the 1950s.

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I don't have any telepathic conversations in my current stuff, but I do wrangle sign language, and it sounds as though the circumstances are similar (short range, only a few can understand it).

I used braces {} the first time I submitted to an editor; she had no problems with it. I'm sure anything along those lines would work fine -- just make sure it happens often enough that it's worth reminding the reader that the participants are doing something different.

I have telepaths in a couple of my books, and since there's quite a lot of telepathic conversation at various points, I didn't want to use italics, which I think are unpleasant to read in big chunks. So I used <brackets, like this.> I fully expected the publisher to ask me to do something different, but they had no problem with it. As long as you're consistent, whatever you decide to do should be OK.

- Victoria

Hope To The Horizon said:

Thanks for the advice. I think I'll use brackets for now, since it's easier to type, but I'll discuss changing the font with the editor, assuming I ever actually get published.
Or maybe I will use a different font in the MS. Either way would work. At least now I see some good options that are distinct without being overtly distracting.

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That's how I started, too. What you're going to discover, however, is that it's REALLY difficult to make it obvious in a mixed narrative/dialogue paragraph where there is ALSO internal thought. For example, from our August release:

"Did you say something, Herr Monier?" Kommissar Reiner said, his mouth curled slightly in disdain. "Are you ready to make your identification of your cat?"

Antoine drummed his fingers on the table sharply. If I could only talk to the tiger — make her understand what was at stake . . . yes, perhaps. He turned fast and reached for the doorknob, startling the inspector. "One moment, Kommissar. I’ve forgotten . . . my . . . uh, I’ll be right back!"

He raced outside and pressed outward quickly with his waning magic. The tiger was directly under him.

<Tahira, please listen to me. We don’t have much time.>

No response. But he could smell her fear, just behind the bars of the window.

<Tahira of the Hayalet Kabile. I am Antoine Monier of the Sazi. Will you please speak to me? You are in great danger.>

Another roar, powerful and haughty. <You need not worry about me, Sazi. I will end my own life before the humans see me in my day form.>

<This doesn’t have to happen, Tahira. I can help you. I’ve convinced the police that you’re one of my tigers. But I need your cooperation..>

A snort of derision, but hope was replacing the fear. <And who are you that you believe you can own a tiger?>

Antoine walked out toward the van. A pair of pigeons pecking at gravel exploded into the air just as he reached the door. He managed to stop himself from unconsciously leaping into the air after them as the Kommissar called his name. "One moment, Kommissar." <It’s a complicated story, Tahira. But I and my cats entertain in shows all over the world. One of my tigers, Simon, was killed in the woods where you were held. But I have another Bengal named Babette. She just had kittens. I’ve convinced them that you are Babette.>

Her voice sounded suspicious but intrigued. <But even a human can tell the difference between a nursing and non-nursing tiger. Uhm . . .can’t they?>

Not always. Antoine opened the van door and reached inside to grab a clipboard. He flipped his long braid back before swinging the door closed. He smiled and paced quickly along the edge of the carefully cleared walkway, expanding on his daring plan.

It's not TOO difficult to follow so long as it doesn't go on for pages (which mine does), but compare that to:

"Did you say something, Herr Monier?" Kommissar Reiner said, his mouth curled slightly in disdain. "Are you ready to make your identification of your cat?"

Antoine drummed his fingers on the table sharply. If I could only talk to the tiger — make her understand what was at stake... yes, perhaps. He turned fast and reached for the doorknob, startling the inspector. "One moment, Kommissar. I’ve forgotten . . . my . . . uh, I’ll be right back!"

He raced outside and pressed outward quickly with his waning magic. The tiger was directly under him.

Tahira, please listen to me. We don’t have much time.

No response. But he could smell her fear, just behind the bars of the window.

Tahira of the Hayalet Kabile. I am Antoine Monier of the Sazi. Will you please speak to me? You are in great danger.

Another roar, powerful and haughty. You need not worry about me, Sazi. I will end my own life before the humans see me in my day form.

This doesn’t have to happen, Tahira. I can help you. I’ve convinced the police that you’re one of my tigers. But I need your cooperation.

A snort of derision, but hope was replacing the fear. And who are you that you believe you can own a tiger?

Antoine walked out toward the van. A pair of pigeons pecking at gravel exploded into the air just as he reached the door. He managed to stop himself from unconsciously leaping into the air after them as the Kommissar called his name. "One moment, Kommissar." It’s a complicated story, Tahira. But I and my cats entertain in shows all over the world. One of my tigers, Simon, was killed in the woods where you were held. But I have another Bengal named Babette. She just had kittens. I’ve convinced them that you are Babette.

Her voice sounded suspicious but intrigued. But even a human can tell the difference between a nursing and non-nursing tiger. Uhm . . .can’t they?

Not always. Antoine opened the van door and reached inside to grab a clipboard. He flipped his long braid back before swinging the door closed. He smiled and paced quickly along the edge of the carefully cleared walkway, expanding on his daring plan.

************

Again, JMHO. Good luck with it!

This whole thread works better as a telepathic argument to me.

The whole thing should be italicized.

so I have a mermaid and a human boy communicating using telepathy. Hey she lives underwater.

So should I write like normal conversation and just make it look different like the bracket idea. Or do I need to write it like they are sending pictures to each other. It has me stumped.

Thanks for starting this thread.

rosemerry said:

so I have a mermaid and a human boy communicating using telepathy. Hey she lives underwater.

So should I write like normal conversation and just make it look different like the bracket idea. Or do I need to write it like they are sending pictures to each other. It has me stumped.

Thanks for starting this thread.

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Which POV are you telling the story? If it's from the mermaid's POV, I'd think she'd have a much different way of describing items, objects, feelings, sensations etc....that the boy may not immediately understand (and vice versa).

In my opinion, the dialogue (regardless if it is spoken or 'sent' mentally) should be what stands out...not necessarily how the dialogue is displayed on the page.

Good luck with your writing!

Hope To The Horizon said:

Most books I've read use italics for telepathy, but I really don't want to do that. First, I already use italics for memories (like when one character is thinking back to something someone said earlier in the books) and for emphasis in both the narrative and dialog.

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I use italics, quoted. "Like this," she said. The only time I think this gets tricky is when I've got something short, *and* I need to de-italicize for emphasis.

I don't use italics for internal thoughts because I write very deep PoV and I don't differentiate internal thoughts at all.

You might want to reconsider your need to use italics for remembered speech. In most cases it shouldn't be necessary -- the speech might be tagged or otherwise marked in narrative.

My telepathy is proximity-dependent. I have a lot of fun with conflict between two people having telepathic conversations and trying to keep their reactions tame in a room full of other people.

waylander said:

I use italics to show thoughts and square brackets for telepathic dialogue. You could also change font.

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If you really want avoid italics I recommend these options as well. Different font or square brackets are the only other options I found to be working out okay.

If you don't like either of them I recommend using normal conversation quotes and making absolutly clear from the description around it that this is done telepathically.

In one of my novels, the telepathic connection between two characters is one of the driving forces of their relationship. But as I skimmed the document for a specific example, I realized something: for the majority of times they use the connection, the scene is from an outside POV. Someone watching them having a silent conversation, going, "Um, hello?"

But in the handful of times they communicate from an insiders POV, I simply use italics. To me, internal thought and telepathic communication are no different, so why use a different method of setting them apart? Both are internal dialogue, no? The only difference is that one is directed at another person, while the other is solely to your own benefit.

Then again, that's me and that's how I interpret the world that my characters inhabit. I'm certain that everyone here who has used telepathy has used it a little bit differently.

My-Immortal said:

Which POV are you telling the story? If it's from the mermaid's POV, I'd think she'd have a much different way of describing items, objects, feelings, sensations etc....that the boy may not immediately understand (and vice versa).

In my opinion, the dialogue (regardless if it is spoken or 'sent' mentally) should be what stands out...not necessarily how the dialogue is displayed on the page.

Good luck with your writing!

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It's from the boy's POV but I do get what your saying and I think I will have to use the picture method. OH YAY! description. It's not something I'm good at but maybe that's why I'm supposed to write this story. So I can get better at it.

["In Stephen King's Insomnia, he uses quoted italics inside brackets, like this."]

It worked for me.