The body in the garden

I'd carefully dump the body in the backyard of the person I despised secondmost. hahaha

The deep freeze in the garage, you know the one with the padlock.
Just until you can do some detective work to clear your name...of course that won't help getting socked with another crime of violating a corpse

I can think of two ways, but a truck is needed for both.

The first is to take the pick up to to a gardening centre and buy a tree in a large pot, take it to the back yard remove the tree, and plant it and stuff the body in the now empty pot and put it in the truck drive to a secluded spot to dump. Return pot to the gardening store.

For the second scenerio I would take my pick up truck to the gardening store and get a large order of sod - too much for my back yard. I would park the truck in front of my house and make a point of having the neighbours see me using a wheeled hand cart to tote the sod to the back unrolling a couple of sod rolls onto the body and when it got dark I would tuck the body onto the cart, arrange the sod around it and put it back on the truck and then drive to a deserted area and dump it. That evening if it's open or the next day I would return the unused sod back to the gardening centre.

Sell it on E-bay.

Fire...acid...or cover it with bird seed!

Woodchipper and then compost heap and then a spring bed. Bonemeal is wonderful for bulbs.

Do you really have to get rid of it permanently? I could do that, leaving no evidence - but if you regret it later, or need it for some investigation, you'd be up poo-poo creek sans paddle.

I'd call the homicide detective from my past and he'd get it to the morgue while we figured out who dunnit and who's tried to frame me. Romance optional.

If real disposal was in the cards, then it would be the lime pit out back. I'm surprised the body didn't just naturally roll into it...

Feed it to the cats. They'll eat anything. (They've tried eating me before!!)

"Uh, hello, QANTAS? Cancel that flight to Texas."

I'd chop the body into pieces, then cook some up for breakfast. The rest would be kept in the fridge to freeze, until the next time i got hungry It's tasty meat, you know. Might as well make the most of it

aadams73 said:

Hmm...yes, you have to get rid of it permanently. Let's not worry about the poo-poo creek

Click to expand...

Find yourself a sewage lift station (do you know what they look like?) and see if it has a channel running to the little building with a grate over it (the channel, not the little building). Lift the grate, do you see large, thick, turning metal wheels with spokes? If you do, put the body into that channel - best if you cut it into smaller pieces first. Hack off the limbs and head, maybe cut the torso in half.

Toss it all into that channel, one big piece at a time. Nothing but reddish brown water will come out the other side.

(that metal machinery is called a Muffin Monster)

I would go to the police. Why wouldn't I? You have to give me some reason.

(Actually, I'm saying this because in my WIP I have an MC who gets involved in a government investigation, but I have yet to find a reason why they would let her. Glaring plot hole. So, tell me, Why couldn't I just call the police? I can think of a few reasons: You ran the campaign for the Sheriff's opponent in the last election, and your candidate nearly won, if the Sheriff hadn't stuffed the ballot box. You could never prove it, because he a. blackmailed someone or b. burned the evidence. So now he has it out for you. In fact, he may have even planted the body!)

Fun!

ltd.

Some of your solutions are SO gross. Where's the bottle of Chianti? It's amazing how many disposed bodies get discovered when there are so many places nobody looks.

Even if you think you see something peeking through the bushes - a scrap of cloth, a lump in the fallen leaves - you don't want to know, so you don't look closer.

A woman disappeared from a local pub years ago. The number one suspect killed himself. The woman's body still hasn't been found.

My first thought would be

"Oh My God! Who put a bird bath in my yard?"



Brady

That was funny!

Going to the police is for people who can't think as creatively as we all can

aadams73 said:

Because it's my little game and I said so.

(Good luck with your WIP)

Click to expand...

Well thanks for helping me with it - NOT.

ltd.

First, I will look around and see if any of my neighbors spotted the body. If nobody is looking then, if it's somebody I really despised I might walk over to the body and kick him a few times, just for the heck of it. Then move it to the ditch on the main road. Then I would go back to bed and let somebody else find the body and call the police.