Dating
- Thread starter AllyWoof
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This is probably a duh question, but did you google him? And you never know--he could be a multi-millionare. 
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They say you're more likely to get killed by someone you know. So, either you won't make it to the date or you'll have a good time, get to know him and then he'll strike.
run now. and good luck!
run now. and good luck!
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www.google.com then search his name. If it has any articles linking him to axe murders or wood chippers, run!
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ACK...I'm so afraid to start dating again. I've been out of the game for way too long. I think I'll just be single forever.
Kristie, I hear you. Dating sucks! I was out for wayyyyyy to long. Maybe we should just date and skip the whole dating scene?
Writerdog, he won't kill you tomorrow. They usually wait for a few dates before they do that then they sell your organs on ebay and recoup their money.
Writerdog, he won't kill you tomorrow. They usually wait for a few dates before they do that then they sell your organs on ebay and recoup their money.
What fun would that be? Show up in a disguise and then he won't know who you are later. Just think of the story you would get from it.
p.s.- I'm just messing with you by the way. I would never kill a woman after the date, they run faster than I can.
p.s.- I'm just messing with you by the way. I would never kill a woman after the date, they run faster than I can.
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Kevin Yarbrough said:
Kevin's just kidding, now if you really feel comfortable, go out and and have a great time! Then come back and let us know
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Sorry, I can’t help you out since I don’t date. I'm sure there are lots of encouraging dating stories out there. I'll wait to read what others say.Jadezuki said:
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For those who need discouragement:
I had a blind date years before I met my wife that was, by any measure, the perfect first date. Fun, interesting, conversation, food, drinks, excitement, flirtation. Lots in common, time flew by, talked about everything, closed down a restaurant.
I raved about the date, and we agreed to another date that same weekend. It was ok. Conversation was slightly stunted, but not dull.
Third date was at her insistence, to meet her friends at a club. Thought it went ok, felt a little unwelcomed by her, swore I was being hit on by her friend.
Never heard from either one again.
I had a blind date years before I met my wife that was, by any measure, the perfect first date. Fun, interesting, conversation, food, drinks, excitement, flirtation. Lots in common, time flew by, talked about everything, closed down a restaurant.
I raved about the date, and we agreed to another date that same weekend. It was ok. Conversation was slightly stunted, but not dull.
Third date was at her insistence, to meet her friends at a club. Thought it went ok, felt a little unwelcomed by her, swore I was being hit on by her friend.
Never heard from either one again.
SpookyWriter
Banned
He probably wouldn't mind so much if you hooked him up with a cutie from the office.jester said:
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I could write the book on dating.
Some observations from years and years and years of dating:
-If she plays with her hair while talking to you, positive sign. If she plays with her hair while looking away, she's bored.
-Never tell all your stories in one night (ie never close the restaurant.) Unless you're Napoleon, the number of really interesting anecdotes a person has can be told in under 3 hours. (The 3 hour rule). Don't use them all up before you've had sex.
-If you haven't made some kind of physical contact you wouldnt feel comfortable giving your mother by date 2, it's probably a lost cause.
-Go dutch on the dates until you've had sex. Also, keep it casual and cheap, dont go to the Che Piere.
-Never talk about other women on a date including exs, even your mother, unless you know you're not into her, then do whatever you want. In fact, if you don't like her, go out of your way to offend her, so you don't have to deal with her liking you and calling all the time.
-If you havent had sex by the 4th date, its pretty much over.
-Don't talk about your personal crap. It ain't doctor Schwab's leather couch. Best way to scare off a chick is to talk about your deep seated emotional problems or how some other chick screwed you over. Keep your stories about how your ex left you, stole your house and your dog to yourself. People don't like losers either, regardless of how they've been screwed over.
-Don't try to get a connection through some kind of emotionally twisted or depressed common fact like both your dad's having terminal cancer or some crap. If its mentioned, steer the conversation in another direction. It's supposed to be happy time. People are addicted to the happy chemicals.
-You havent done any drugs, no matter how many you've done. This includes excluding all drug stories no matter how entertaining they are.
-You're single because you choose to be because most women/men are more trouble than they're worth.
-Don't spend hours talking online or on the phone before you've had sex. Keep conversations short, again referring back to the 3 hour rule. Email is fine, just dont break the 'tag you're it' rule.
-Online dating generally doesnt work. Too many expectations. This warrants its own section so I wont get into it. The basic idea is that its so easy to get a date, people are already thinking about the next person before the date in front of them is even done. It's a huge STD circuit too.
Chances of making a connection are not nill, but very low.
-Every date ends with 'I'll call you." You know in the first ten minutes of the first date if there will be a second. Don't let the words throw you. It's a standard ending.
-If the cell phone rings mid date, and he/she has an emergency and has to go, you've been rejected. Deal with it.
-Don't get smashed. Have a few, but don't get smashed. This isnt so much to avoid making a jackass of yourself, but unless she is really hot, you dont want to risk sex when you know damned well you dont want to.
-Date #1 is a talking date. (ie coffee or dinner). Date #2 is a non talking date, or at least most of it. (Movie). Date #3 is a doing date like mini golf or skating or something, getting the bodies moving. Ideally after the 'moving' date, you have sex. That's the point of it, to get the two bodies rubbing up against each other somehow.
-Be DAMNED sure you use your own birthcontrol and flush it down the toilet. Watch it go. I've seen more than one poor sucker who had some baby trapper intentionally get pregnant. Be REAL careful of women aged 28-38.
-Try and avoid dating waitresses. I'm currently violating this rule right now.
-Never date strippers. I've yet to meet one that wasn't a nutjob with really low self esteem.
-If she's leaning forward over the table, she's somewhat interested. If she's leaning back with her arms folded, forget about it. This isn't 100%, cause there are some laid back chicks, but it adds to the body of evidence she's not into you.
-Eye contact. Don't stare at her boobs. Wait till she's looking away before you examine the goods.
-ONE and ONLY ONE compliment, and then make it tame and about something really stupid and incidental like you like her hooped earrings or something.
-Have your 'backpacker' story nice and rehearsed and never spring it until the climax of the date. (This is from an episode of Friends.). Your backpacker story is the best anecdote you've got. Don't use this until you're at the climax of an important date, know you wont get interrupted, can maintain good eye contact, and have a bit of alcohol in you. Make the story about 8-10 minutes long. If you've lived a completely boring ass life, well, make something up. You're a writer, work it out. This is a story about you at your most funny, caring, whatever...this is your query letter. I've got mine I'm still waiting to spring on this woman I'm trying to date regularly. I call mine, "The Last Night in Tokyo."
-Never go to some place you frequent on a date. This is just asking for trouble. All it takes is seeing someone you know to cramp your style or having Billy the friggen wanker decide to sit down for a few minutes, then start telling stories about you or saying stupid things he thinks is terribly funny but are in fact creating a catastrophe. If your friends are anything like mine, they're idiots at the best of times. Worse if they're drunk.
-Don't brag about yourself. It's transparant. Slip stuff in there in response to what the other person says, and then only say it very as a matter of fact. Like she says...'she had the most powerful perfume I'd ever smelled.' Then you say something like 'I have a bottle of that. I bought it in this little shop in Cairo and everytime I put it on blah blah blah." The most important part of the story was that you've been to Cairo, but you spend most of it talking about this gawdawful perfume you might or might not have bought. The main point of the story is said almost in passing.
I could go on and on, but that's enough for now.
Some observations from years and years and years of dating:
-If she plays with her hair while talking to you, positive sign. If she plays with her hair while looking away, she's bored.
-Never tell all your stories in one night (ie never close the restaurant.) Unless you're Napoleon, the number of really interesting anecdotes a person has can be told in under 3 hours. (The 3 hour rule). Don't use them all up before you've had sex.
-If you haven't made some kind of physical contact you wouldnt feel comfortable giving your mother by date 2, it's probably a lost cause.
-Go dutch on the dates until you've had sex. Also, keep it casual and cheap, dont go to the Che Piere.
-Never talk about other women on a date including exs, even your mother, unless you know you're not into her, then do whatever you want. In fact, if you don't like her, go out of your way to offend her, so you don't have to deal with her liking you and calling all the time.
-If you havent had sex by the 4th date, its pretty much over.
-Don't talk about your personal crap. It ain't doctor Schwab's leather couch. Best way to scare off a chick is to talk about your deep seated emotional problems or how some other chick screwed you over. Keep your stories about how your ex left you, stole your house and your dog to yourself. People don't like losers either, regardless of how they've been screwed over.
-Don't try to get a connection through some kind of emotionally twisted or depressed common fact like both your dad's having terminal cancer or some crap. If its mentioned, steer the conversation in another direction. It's supposed to be happy time. People are addicted to the happy chemicals.
-You havent done any drugs, no matter how many you've done. This includes excluding all drug stories no matter how entertaining they are.
-You're single because you choose to be because most women/men are more trouble than they're worth.
-Don't spend hours talking online or on the phone before you've had sex. Keep conversations short, again referring back to the 3 hour rule. Email is fine, just dont break the 'tag you're it' rule.
-Online dating generally doesnt work. Too many expectations. This warrants its own section so I wont get into it. The basic idea is that its so easy to get a date, people are already thinking about the next person before the date in front of them is even done. It's a huge STD circuit too.
Chances of making a connection are not nill, but very low.
-Every date ends with 'I'll call you." You know in the first ten minutes of the first date if there will be a second. Don't let the words throw you. It's a standard ending.
-If the cell phone rings mid date, and he/she has an emergency and has to go, you've been rejected. Deal with it.
-Don't get smashed. Have a few, but don't get smashed. This isnt so much to avoid making a jackass of yourself, but unless she is really hot, you dont want to risk sex when you know damned well you dont want to.
-Date #1 is a talking date. (ie coffee or dinner). Date #2 is a non talking date, or at least most of it. (Movie). Date #3 is a doing date like mini golf or skating or something, getting the bodies moving. Ideally after the 'moving' date, you have sex. That's the point of it, to get the two bodies rubbing up against each other somehow.
-Be DAMNED sure you use your own birthcontrol and flush it down the toilet. Watch it go. I've seen more than one poor sucker who had some baby trapper intentionally get pregnant. Be REAL careful of women aged 28-38.
-Try and avoid dating waitresses. I'm currently violating this rule right now.
-Never date strippers. I've yet to meet one that wasn't a nutjob with really low self esteem.
-If she's leaning forward over the table, she's somewhat interested. If she's leaning back with her arms folded, forget about it. This isn't 100%, cause there are some laid back chicks, but it adds to the body of evidence she's not into you.
-Eye contact. Don't stare at her boobs. Wait till she's looking away before you examine the goods.
-ONE and ONLY ONE compliment, and then make it tame and about something really stupid and incidental like you like her hooped earrings or something.
-Have your 'backpacker' story nice and rehearsed and never spring it until the climax of the date. (This is from an episode of Friends.). Your backpacker story is the best anecdote you've got. Don't use this until you're at the climax of an important date, know you wont get interrupted, can maintain good eye contact, and have a bit of alcohol in you. Make the story about 8-10 minutes long. If you've lived a completely boring ass life, well, make something up. You're a writer, work it out. This is a story about you at your most funny, caring, whatever...this is your query letter. I've got mine I'm still waiting to spring on this woman I'm trying to date regularly. I call mine, "The Last Night in Tokyo."
-Never go to some place you frequent on a date. This is just asking for trouble. All it takes is seeing someone you know to cramp your style or having Billy the friggen wanker decide to sit down for a few minutes, then start telling stories about you or saying stupid things he thinks is terribly funny but are in fact creating a catastrophe. If your friends are anything like mine, they're idiots at the best of times. Worse if they're drunk.
-Don't brag about yourself. It's transparant. Slip stuff in there in response to what the other person says, and then only say it very as a matter of fact. Like she says...'she had the most powerful perfume I'd ever smelled.' Then you say something like 'I have a bottle of that. I bought it in this little shop in Cairo and everytime I put it on blah blah blah." The most important part of the story was that you've been to Cairo, but you spend most of it talking about this gawdawful perfume you might or might not have bought. The main point of the story is said almost in passing.
I could go on and on, but that's enough for now.
To quote Seinfeld, "Cleavage is like the sun! You don't stare at it! You glance, then you look away!"
You'll do fine. Dating is easy when you're the girl. You just sit there being mysterious and interesting and aloof while the guy spends several hours of his night feeling like his knuckles are dragging on the ground and his forehead is getting bigger.
And that's not even to talk about the bit where you have to kiss her, or put your arm around her, which gives you roughly the same physical terror/rush as trying to run across a freeway full of semis.
...
....Lawks, I was terrible at dating. Thank goodness I'm married. I always tell people that if I wasn't married, I'd still be single, and no one quite gets what I mean.
Remember, if all else fails, you can Give Him A Look.
You'll do fine. Dating is easy when you're the girl. You just sit there being mysterious and interesting and aloof while the guy spends several hours of his night feeling like his knuckles are dragging on the ground and his forehead is getting bigger.
And that's not even to talk about the bit where you have to kiss her, or put your arm around her, which gives you roughly the same physical terror/rush as trying to run across a freeway full of semis.
...
....Lawks, I was terrible at dating. Thank goodness I'm married. I always tell people that if I wasn't married, I'd still be single, and no one quite gets what I mean.
Remember, if all else fails, you can Give Him A Look.
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Here is one story from the archives.
I was set up on a blind date by a friend of mine. My friend knows my taste in women so I wasn't worried about going out with the bearded lady. The only real asterix was that my friend didnt know her THAT well, so, keep your guard up.
I go out with her two times, (call her Sandra) and the third date is scheduled for next week. I'm actually quite liking her and decide to hold all other prospects while this plays itself out. Three days before the date I'm in a bar talking to two complete strange women. I'm waiting for my friend to get off work who is the DJ, so basically just sitting there killing time.
It comes up that I'm single, and one of the women suggests I meet one of her friends. I say thanks, but I've kind of got something on the go right now and I kind of like her so....thanks but no thanks. She asks who this girl is, an interesting question because, I mean, anyone I mention is going to be a stranger right? I say the girl works for Chrysler and her name is Sandra blah blah blah. The one girl gets a twisted look on her face and I didn't think anything of it.
The day before the date with Sandra, I get a call from her. The conversation goes something like this, "blah blah I'm sorry but I'm married and blah blah for obvious reasons can't go out with you, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, blah blah ja ja."
Turns out she's married. Even my friend who set us up didnt know. Quality person.
As it turns out, one of the strange women I was talking to at that bar was best friends with the husband! What are the chances eh? The best friend ran to the husband and informed him his wife was trying to screw around on him. He gave Sandra the whole 'him or me' speech, which prompted the phone call from Sandra to me soon after, ending the attempted affair.
Not the end of the story.....
Two weeks later I'm in the same bar to go to a friend's goodbye party and lo and behold, guess who knows the same friend through six degrees of separation? Sandra and her husband! Har har. So now I'm sitting at the same table as Sandra and her husband, and I'm a pretty obnoxious person at the best of times, but get some beer into me and I get worse. Well, I was loving every minute of it and getting kind of zapped on beer.
In the spirit of revenge, I start talking to the husband, pretending to be his best friend etc etc. I knew some stuff about the guy, like he never went to high school etc etc, so would ask questions like, "So...Jerry, where did YOU go to school?" This guy has no idea I'm the 'other' guy. Sandra, during all of this, is completely mortified, looking straight at the ceiling the entire time.
I soon turn my attention to Sandra, and start talking about stuff like seafood, and asking her things like if she's had any seafood as good as the stuff we had on our last date. The husband didn't hear despite my best efforts, the loud music and all. I'm being an outright classless jackass by this point.
Long story short, my friends who were aware of the whole situation ended up enforcing a set of 'be the bigger man' morals on me, and, after briefly torturing her on the dance floor, ceased and desisted. IT didn't matter, she came down with an 'illness' soon after the dance floor incident and got the hell out of there with her husband. I think I danced the rest of the night of the way but who the hell remembers.
I was set up on a blind date by a friend of mine. My friend knows my taste in women so I wasn't worried about going out with the bearded lady. The only real asterix was that my friend didnt know her THAT well, so, keep your guard up.
I go out with her two times, (call her Sandra) and the third date is scheduled for next week. I'm actually quite liking her and decide to hold all other prospects while this plays itself out. Three days before the date I'm in a bar talking to two complete strange women. I'm waiting for my friend to get off work who is the DJ, so basically just sitting there killing time.
It comes up that I'm single, and one of the women suggests I meet one of her friends. I say thanks, but I've kind of got something on the go right now and I kind of like her so....thanks but no thanks. She asks who this girl is, an interesting question because, I mean, anyone I mention is going to be a stranger right? I say the girl works for Chrysler and her name is Sandra blah blah blah. The one girl gets a twisted look on her face and I didn't think anything of it.
The day before the date with Sandra, I get a call from her. The conversation goes something like this, "blah blah I'm sorry but I'm married and blah blah for obvious reasons can't go out with you, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, blah blah ja ja."
Turns out she's married. Even my friend who set us up didnt know. Quality person.
As it turns out, one of the strange women I was talking to at that bar was best friends with the husband! What are the chances eh? The best friend ran to the husband and informed him his wife was trying to screw around on him. He gave Sandra the whole 'him or me' speech, which prompted the phone call from Sandra to me soon after, ending the attempted affair.
Not the end of the story.....
Two weeks later I'm in the same bar to go to a friend's goodbye party and lo and behold, guess who knows the same friend through six degrees of separation? Sandra and her husband! Har har. So now I'm sitting at the same table as Sandra and her husband, and I'm a pretty obnoxious person at the best of times, but get some beer into me and I get worse. Well, I was loving every minute of it and getting kind of zapped on beer.
In the spirit of revenge, I start talking to the husband, pretending to be his best friend etc etc. I knew some stuff about the guy, like he never went to high school etc etc, so would ask questions like, "So...Jerry, where did YOU go to school?" This guy has no idea I'm the 'other' guy. Sandra, during all of this, is completely mortified, looking straight at the ceiling the entire time.
I soon turn my attention to Sandra, and start talking about stuff like seafood, and asking her things like if she's had any seafood as good as the stuff we had on our last date. The husband didn't hear despite my best efforts, the loud music and all. I'm being an outright classless jackass by this point.
Long story short, my friends who were aware of the whole situation ended up enforcing a set of 'be the bigger man' morals on me, and, after briefly torturing her on the dance floor, ceased and desisted. IT didn't matter, she came down with an 'illness' soon after the dance floor incident and got the hell out of there with her husband. I think I danced the rest of the night of the way but who the hell remembers.
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That's the funniest damned thing I've read in a while...but it doesn't make me feel any better about dating!
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Thats okay to feel that way.
I have done that loads of times, with people off the Internet
As the old quote goes 'Don't worry, Be happy'
I have done that loads of times, with people off the Internet
As the old quote goes 'Don't worry, Be happy'