Parental Unapproval

AllyWoof

Becoming a Serious Writer!
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Dec 18, 2006
Messages
1,163
Reaction score
400
Location
georgia
I was telling Mom about the year long version of nano that I entered. While she did take me to the library and allow me to check out books to help me with backround information, this morning she told me it was a complete waste of time because no prize was involved. I think the prize is knowing I accomplished something. Mom disaggrees. She thinks money or something should be involved. Her comment made me feel like punching her face in! The other thing I said was "I joined these communities to get un-biast help with my writing". Sorry I just needed to vent. Back to my entry.
 

Kate Thornton

Still Happy to be Here. Or Anywhere
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Jul 3, 2006
Messages
2,809
Reaction score
899
Location
Sunny SoCal
Website
www.katethornton.net
I'm glad you controlled your rage.

Your mother's values do not have to become your own - many people find success in accomplishment that involves little or no "prize" - the joy of accomplishing a self-set task can be its own reward.

You do need her help - rides to the library, etc. - but the accomplishment will be your own.

Besides, a finished product can always be marketed - you may end up with a saleable piece of writing. You will at least end up with practice, accomplishment and a good start on getting the one million words of rubbish out.

Best of luck,
Kate
 

paprikapink

Bored fanatic
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Feb 12, 2005
Messages
2,199
Reaction score
868
Location
yonder
Website
paprikapink2.blogspot.com
A year-long nano? NaNoWriYr? That's an interesting idea...where's that come from?

Yeah, it's a prickly time of life, when you starting knowing more about many things than your parents do. It's a time when parents might do well to give more "Hmmmmm....gee, I didn't know that" sortsa responses. But that Mother Knows Best perspective (vital to a small child's well-being, but poison to young adults) can take a while to taper off.
 

AllyWoof

Becoming a Serious Writer!
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Dec 18, 2006
Messages
1,163
Reaction score
400
Location
georgia
That is very true. I am doing fanfiction for the contest, so I definately can't send this manuscript. However, I can rewrite said story using different characters. No rules against that in the contest that I can see. Feel free to correct me if there are. My eyes tend to skip.
 

C.bronco

I have plans...
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Jul 3, 2006
Messages
8,015
Reaction score
3,137
Location
Junior Nation
Website
cynthia-bronco.blogspot.com
That's great that you are participating. If you complete a book, it is a big accomplishment and an important learning experience! Do it becuase you love to do it. If you write well, the money will come later.
You can tell your Mom that a completed novel will look fantastic when applying to college.
 

AllyWoof

Becoming a Serious Writer!
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Dec 18, 2006
Messages
1,163
Reaction score
400
Location
georgia
It would if I was applying. I am a college student. I am just on medical leave thanks to bad epilepsy.
 

dclary

Unabashed Mercenary
Poetry Book Collaborator
Requiescat In Pace
Registered
Joined
Oct 17, 2005
Messages
13,050
Reaction score
3,524
Age
55
Website
www.trumpstump2016.com
Just speaking off the top of my head, but "punching my mom in the face" never leads to anything good.

Just sayin'.
 

AllyWoof

Becoming a Serious Writer!
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Dec 18, 2006
Messages
1,163
Reaction score
400
Location
georgia
dclary said:
Just speaking off the top of my head, but "punching my mom in the face" never leads to anything good.

Just sayin'.
Very true.
 

William Haskins

poet
Kind Benefactor
Absolute Sage
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Feb 12, 2005
Messages
29,101
Reaction score
8,850
Age
58
Website
www.poisonpen.net
what you view as your mom "not getting it" is actually a mechanism in place in all good parents who don't want to see their children ripped off by scams, taken advantage of in any way, or led down a path they feel might be unproductive or counterproductive.

you're right in wanting to experience the process of writing the book and she's right that the longview should always be an eye on some semblence of security in life. her assessment of your situation may be wrong, but the intention is pure.
 

AllyWoof

Becoming a Serious Writer!
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Dec 18, 2006
Messages
1,163
Reaction score
400
Location
georgia
I guess, William. My beef probably has less to do with what I complained about and more to do with the fact in some ways she still treats me like a teenager. Trust me when I tell you that totally sucks.
 

MidnightMuse

Midnight Reading
Kind Benefactor
Super Member
Registered
Joined
May 23, 2006
Messages
8,424
Reaction score
2,554
Location
In the toidy.
I'm old enough to be your mother, and my mother still treats me like a teenager. That will never go away, and you'll learn to accept it, then in some ways cherish it, and eventually -- trust me -- you'll miss it.
 

Melina

Getting better all the time
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Feb 13, 2005
Messages
1,241
Reaction score
444
Location
My City by the Bay
Website
www.atozwordsmith.com
MidnightMuse said:
I'm old enough to be your mother, and my mother still treats me like a teenager. That will never go away, and you'll learn to accept it, then in some ways cherish it, and eventually -- trust me -- you'll miss it.

I'm with MM on this, writerdog. I am the mother of a 21-year-old myself, yet MY mother still makes me feel like a kid. I don't fault her for that. I imagine I will continue to treat my children that way. Believe me, it's out of love and concern for your happiness and well-being. My mother says it best, "You're a child but once--a parent forever."
 

Ol' Fashioned Girl

Hand? What hand?
Kind Benefactor
Super Member
Registered
Joined
May 31, 2005
Messages
15,640
Reaction score
6,849
Location
Last Star on the Right
Website
www.jenniferdahl.com
MidnightMuse said:
I'm old enough to be your mother, and my mother still treats me like a teenager. That will never go away, and you'll learn to accept it, then in some ways cherish it, and eventually -- trust me -- you'll miss it.

I'll never forget the day I was helping my elderly mom with her bills... when I was done (and there were only three!), she had to inspect my work to make sure I had put the account number on the checks, gotten them in the right envelopes, and stamped them! I was in my forties at the time and took care of a $6mil payroll for a Fortune 100 firm.

MM, you're absolutely right (no pun intended). Mom and I didn't get along AT ALL... but I did accept her 'motherly ways'; I did cherish them, and I miss them more than I'll admit out loud.
 

AllyWoof

Becoming a Serious Writer!
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Dec 18, 2006
Messages
1,163
Reaction score
400
Location
georgia
I don't think I am old enough to understand.
 

veinglory

volitare nequeo
Self-Ban
Registered
Joined
Feb 12, 2005
Messages
28,750
Reaction score
2,933
Location
right here
Website
www.veinglory.com
I think that in terms of Moms, their job might be to loosening the apron strings but equally the child's job is to not have overly emotional reactions to any advice that is given? I, personally, would also nudge a friend towards putting that much effort into something marketable. It's just a product of my mercenary outlook on the world. Either that or I am your Mom's online identity ;)
 

AllyWoof

Becoming a Serious Writer!
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Dec 18, 2006
Messages
1,163
Reaction score
400
Location
georgia
While I understand where all you mothers are coming from, I would think she would be overjoyed because I was finding somehting productive to do with myself.
 

DamaNegra

Mexican on the loose!
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Oct 16, 2005
Messages
6,260
Reaction score
1,358
Location
Scotland
Website
www.fictionpress.com
Heheh I remember when I entered (and lost) NaNoWriMo, when I'd tell people about the contest they'd always ask about the prize. Most of them didn't understand that the prize was pure satisfaction. Only friends with ideals as whacky as mine actually understood and seemed interested in the prize.

Oh, and don't worry. It's more frustrating to be on the last stretch of your teen years with your mom still treating you as a child. I look forward to the day she treats me like a teenager. I'll feel like such a big girl, lol!
 

paprikapink

Bored fanatic
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Feb 12, 2005
Messages
2,199
Reaction score
868
Location
yonder
Website
paprikapink2.blogspot.com
It sounds, writerdog, like your mom is not a writer. I'm sure she knows that, but somehow she doesn't know that just being your mom doesn't make her An Authority on everything that you attempt in life. Which is understandable, because for many many years, she was.

But I totally sympathize with how it feels to you, because even though I'm in my 40s and having a pretty dang wonderful life and am finally beginning to appreciate her as a person, my mother still does it to me -- and nothing gets under my skin worse!!

And I'm a mom too. Every irrigating (that's irritating and aggravating) thing my parents do, I carefully note -- only do this if I want to drive my adult children away!

For a new writer, I'd say that making a year-long commitment to writing, and tracking it, and keeping it, is invaluable. Support that keeps you writing and writing and writing is good and will pay off in the long run.
 

dclary

Unabashed Mercenary
Poetry Book Collaborator
Requiescat In Pace
Registered
Joined
Oct 17, 2005
Messages
13,050
Reaction score
3,524
Age
55
Website
www.trumpstump2016.com
C.bronco said:
:D Tell Mom it will look fantastic when applying to grad school!

You could end up like Hamboogul... Who upon finishing a degree from Columbia (or wherever. I forget. some uppity college), and deciding to go on to med school (like his parents wanted) or USC Film School -- came here.

Of course, Hammy's now won several contests, has already sold a script or two and is very hot property in some markets. So maybe his dad'll forgive him someday. We'll see.
 

writerterri

It's a dorky day!
Kind Benefactor
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Aug 28, 2005
Messages
6,706
Reaction score
3,998
Location
Good'ol Southern California *quakes*
Just do it. Nike.


My husbands mom was livid with my husband last night when he told her we had to have a tumor removed from his cats belly and what it was going to cost. She said we were throwing our money away. My feeling is that she's one of the people who would have driven the animal three or miles from the house and dropped it off.

This cat however is like our kid. We aren't just animals to her, she loves us.
 

Little Red Barn

haz own threads
Kind Benefactor
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Oct 27, 2006
Messages
2,839
Reaction score
3,669
writerdog said:
While I understand where all you mothers are coming from, I would think she would be overjoyed because I was finding somehting productive to do with myself.

Some of lifes most enjoyable things are free. Take advantage of this sweetie, to learn and grow and like you said, to be productive. You'll feel good when it's all done. We are here for you!
hugs kimmi