Hardest thing you've ever done

Keep in mind I was in a bad way mentally when I did this...

But I shot my dog in the head instead of take him to the pound when my family insisted I get rid him.

It destroyed me.

It destroyed my family more, to find out I was that depraved.

That's screwed up about shooting your dog. Some things are better off just between you and God. I can't respect a person who would do that to a loving dog. The hardest thing I ever done was pass a kidney stone. Those things hurt.

Honestly, I quit seeing my loony mom over ten years ago. That was hard. My less-honest more canned answer; having PUPPPS while pregnant (basically a form of satanic shingles you can only get while pregnant) and it only goes away after giving birth. I spent the last month of my pregnancy covered in calamine lotion and sobbing from the itch. Don't worry all you preggers on the board - it's really rare.

~ Jennifer

I don't want to post what the hardest thing was; some of the things that are tied for second place include going to my father's funeral, saying goodbye to a beloved pet (more than once), having a close friend move away (more than once), and breaking up with the girl I thought I was going to marry. Physically, about the hardest thing I've ever done is work on neighboring farms when I was a teenager and, later, working in construction (both are hot, heavy, and dangerous).

When my daughter was 1, she had to have blood tests. Let me tell you, it was so hard having her sit on my knee while they took blood, tears running down her cheeks, and I'm having to tell her, "it's alright. It's nearly over" and all stuff like that, when all I wanted to do was push those stupid syringes away and cuddle her. It was absolutely awful. I'll never forget it.

A few months ago, my older sister and I had to have an intervention with our mother regarding her spending habits and high credit card bills. This was not easy, and hard emotionally for both of us. But it absolutely had to be done before things got any worse.

I hope to never have to go through that again.

allen

dclary said:

Keep in mind I was in a bad way mentally when I did this...

But I shot my dog in the head instead of take him to the pound when my family insisted I get rid him.

It destroyed me.

It destroyed my family more, to find out I was that depraved.

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That's disgusting. And you're disgusting for doing it, bad way or not.

Hardest thing I ever did was end my first marriage--even though I really really wanted out ASAP. My family really liked him so that made it even harder. But it was the right thing to do and I'm REALLY glad I did it.

In that case....

...the hardest thing I ever did was move all the way from Australia to the US to marry my better half. Eight years later I'm still extremely glad I did

I'm sure I haven't done it yet.

Either that or I have a very good selective memory.

Hardest thing was burying my father, my father-in-law, my mother, my best friend, my brothers, Ol' Boy's grandmother and grandfather, my favorite aunt... in other words, saying goodbye.

Standing up to a psychotic bully.

It's more detailed than that - I knew he and a bunch of his punk friends were planning to disrupt a church gathering, and the hard part was that I still went alone. I talked my way out of anything serious, but he was relieved of a 10" hunting knife later that night.

A night of palpable fear and pride for me, even 12 years later.

When you get to be as old as I am, there are so many hard things to choose from!

I think leaving the ex-jerk and starting my life over at 29 with no job, no skills and two pre-teen boys ranks pretty high up there. Watching my dad wither away to almost nothing while battling cancer is another. He came through it fine, though. Watching my sister's first husband battle cancer and eventually lose the battle is another. Having my beloved black Lab, Shaman, put to sleep when he was only 1 year old because he was so sick is yet another. Having Monster, one of Shaman's pups, put to sleep a year later for the same illness is another.

It's really difficult to say.

I've had to fire people which is not nice. But I also hire others which is nice. But my hardest thing is sitting with my four year old watching him scream and vomit with his migraines in the hospital and not being able to do anything.
I remember whispering to him when he was a baby that I would be the best father I could for him, for me being useless is very hard. I wish it on no one.

Os.

My brothers death and funeral and how I acted during that time, was the hardest.
(After thinking about the question, the hardest part : was telling my mom her son had been killed in a car accident.)
Runners up include:

Being blacklisted from my job;
having a baby in a coma;
being in an abusive relationship;
Having my house robbed, and my car stolen.

I've made alot of major mistakes in my life, but the decision part was easy. It's living with regret that plagues me now.

Battling depression. Every winter. I have Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD)

If you've never really had it, you cannot fathom how truly difficult and solitary an experience that is. Regardless of all of the close friends and loved ones who want to help, it's up to you to find the strength and courage to get professional help to fight your way out of the dark hole of your own mind....

Holding my cat while the vet euthanized him, and watching as the light went out.

Calling my best friend's mom in high school to tell her my friend was suicidal and she needed some help.

Getting a divorce was hard (I have 2 small kids). Buying a house by myself was hard. Finishing grad school while working full time (and being a single mom - I'm the residential parent) was hard.

But probably the hardest thing I've done is learn how to stand up for myself and insist on what's fair, instead of being a doormat. It caused me to battle with my ex, my mom, work, etc. It's still a balancing act - where do you draw the line between insisting on what's right for you and trying to help others get what they feel is right for them? Ugh...anyway, that's what I'm still working on.

dclary said:

Keep in mind I was in a bad way mentally when I did this...

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dclary,

How very brave and open of you to share such a difficult story.

Whether we are willing to admit it as publicly or not, nearly everyone's done something at some time for which they should be ashamed or shocked with themselves.

I'm dismayed by those who would criticize you harshly for sharing an obviously painful memory.

Moving to the US. The psychological impact of not being able to work after being a rising star in my previous career is harder to manage than I'd expected.

sanremoave said:

dclary,

How very brave and open of you to share such a difficult story.

Whether we are willing to admit it as publicly or not, nearly everyone's done something at some time for which they should be ashamed or shocked with themselves.

I'm dismayed by those who would criticize you harshly for sharing an obviously painful memory.

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just to piggyback this, in some rural communities people sometimes still "take care of their own". I've known some adults when I was a kid that put their own dogs down when injured or ill. It isn't pretty, and I don't necessarily think humane in any way, but it was "the way". I have a friend who still talks about when he was a kid and his dad would have to put down one of their animals.
It's a bad experience and bad memory to carry, Dave, but you won't get criticism from me, sounds like you are doing enough of that to yourself.

On July15, 2002, I was in my office at home, slaving away on my then-current WIP. At 10PM the phone rang. On the line was the Fayette County (Lexington, Kentucky) coroner, with some bad news. I'll say. My younger brother (we were born exactly five years apart) that evening had died of an epileptic siezure while at a friend's home (he was forty-five, and hadn't had a seizure since he was three).

Still reeling from shock, I asked, "Have my parents in Louisville been contacted?"

"No sir," the coroner said. "We're going to let you do that."

And so I did. I had to call my folks and tell them their younger son, who, after years of dashed hopes and false starts, had finally gotten his folk-singing career going, was dead. I had to listen to my dad, a bird colonel in the Army, a man who'd fought in the Pacific in WWII, cry like a child. Yeah, that's the roughest thing I've ever done.

Hardest emotionally- Calling my fiance's parents (whom he hadn't seen in a year) to tell them he had passed away. Scattering my Dad's ashes. Watching my precious cat Buster die in my husband's arms. Watching my kids watch our dog die on the road after getting hit by a car.
Physically- working a paper route as a scrappy little kid in rural Wyoming. Childbirth-especially my second baby. Suffering from Fifth's Disease (human parvo-virus) as an adult-two weeks near death (or so I thought) and four plus more weeks of weakness.

sanremoave said:

dclary,

How very brave and open of you to share such a difficult story.

Whether we are willing to admit it as publicly or not, nearly everyone's done something at some time for which they should be ashamed or shocked with themselves.

I'm dismayed by those who would criticize you harshly for sharing an obviously painful memory.

Click to expand...

Putting down a loved pet rather than taking it to the sterile environment of a vet to have the same thing done can be a loving act of kindness. That's not to say that it always is on but I cannot believe so many people want to get on dclary for doing so. In rural life, such things are often a hard necessity of life. Although not the hardest thing I have ever done, I did put two kittens out of their miserable torment after they were fatally injured by a vehicle (not mine). It was horrible to do but necessary - the alternative was to let them suffer and they would have died long before I could have made the trip to town for a vet to put them down.