There must be 50 ways to leave your lover...

Little Red Barn · Dec 19, 2006

Now Si has been moping and whining around here for two weeks...
My 16 yr. old wants to break up with her boyfriend.
I asked her what boyfriend? You are not allowed to date yet...She rolled her eyes and said insultingly that, yes... that was true but they were considered boyfriend and girlfriend..I guess 50,000 hours on the phone constitutes such.
The boyfriend is totally disrespectful of Si and of women in general...He has made numerous comments about how stupid women are... what they are not capable of doing...Just immature high school stuff, but still I want her to learn early, to stay away from this type, but I've also found when I sit back she usually makes the right decision.
I don't care for the kid, however I don't want her to be hurtful...she's torn with doing it before Christmas or after. Kimmi like to box his ears!
I finally told her, you are ruining your Christmas,(which I've learned a long time ago not to give opinions) just tell him you don't want a relationship with a guy right now; buffer it with your studies.
Jeez there must be 50 ways....

PS Sierra is very sensitive to the feelings of others even if they hurt her....thus her emotional rollarcoster ride.

Little Red Barn · Dec 19, 2006

Ahhh, young love, strong love, true love...sigh

PeeDee · Dec 19, 2006

I would offer advice. But I can't. Because I married my first girlfriend. So really, I'm no good with the breaking up business. My only concern for your daughter would be that if he's already got such a lousy opinion of women, will he get aggressive and nasty if she breaks up with him?

Bravo · Dec 19, 2006

Jadezuki said:
If she's worried about that, break up with him over the phone. Sure, it's not the classiest thing to do, but at least she doesn't have to worry about him hurling something at her head. And if he gets verbally abusive, she can always hang up on him.

Just send him this text message:

"It's over."

or if she wants to be more clear she can say:

"We're done dating. Dont call anymore. Good Luck"

Bravo · Dec 19, 2006

It's fitting if she just talked to him on the phone a lot.

And I'm not sure if this actually is a "lover's" breakup.

:Shrug:

A. Hamilton · Dec 19, 2006

Do it before Christmas, like on Friday at the end of the day(by phone or with lots of people near if there's a concern over violence.) It will give him some time to cool off and recompose himself before she sees him again after the holiday break. Good luck to her. My daughter has been the one doing the breaking up and it was hard but she grew stronger because of it.

writerterri · Dec 19, 2006

"My mom said that if I ever talk to you again she's gonna spend my inheratence before I reach collage, so get lost because I want a real future."

"My mom said she'll move if she catches us talking, but she won't take me with her, so get lost because I really love my mom and don't want to live in the snow."

"My mom said that if you keep calling me she'll have my blow dryer taken away for good, so get lost because I really love my hair and you're just not worth it."

Am I getting close?

Little Red Barn · Dec 19, 2006

Bravo said:
It's fitting if she just talked to him on the phone a lot.

And I'm not sure if this actually is a "lover's" breakup.

Oh don't tell Si that, we know it's not an actually lovers break up, but these teens have uhmm mmmm dramatic feelings?? Besides it's cool with me if she thinks it's a boyfriend/girlfriend thing, less I have to worry about until she actually starts to really date. I've already tried..the perils of young love.

kimmi still like to box his ears!

Little Red Barn · Dec 19, 2006

I've just rcvd. 6 text messeges from Sierra...she's beating herself up! Arghhh tell him! But I can't tell her to tell him...arghh

Bravo · Dec 19, 2006

kimmi 57 said:
But I can't tell her to tell him...arghh

Why not?

I still don't get that.

Little Red Barn · Dec 19, 2006

Bravo said:
Why not?

I still don't get that.

Because Bravo, if you tell my teen or most teens to do something they do the opposite...she asks my opinion all the time and I learned long ago to dance around it...if the outcome is not to her liking guess who gets the flack...? Must always tread with the teen with psych 101 behind the back!

Little Red Barn · Dec 19, 2006

Jadezuki said:
Well, it sounds to me like this is a girl who might want some good advice right now, not a rebellious teenager. Usually, if I ask my mother point-blank what I should do, I'm really seeking her opinion.

Jade Si is a very strong headed young girl who has turned the tables on me many times. I try to give her advice that is not..uhm mmmm going one way or another..Sometimes I tell her to write out all the pros and cons. Not on all the advice she requests..just about certain touchy subjects where she already knows how I feel.

A. Hamilton · Dec 19, 2006

If she's texting you six times asking, she wants to know what you think. You could always make it sound like her idea(which it is anyway) and say, 'you already know what to do ..read your texts'. Just be empathetic and not 'I told you so'. Tell her you know how hard it will be but it's the fair thing to do, after all hanging on is a lie, etc etc.
Also, suggest she hang up her phone (or switch with yours?)for an afternoon or so afterwards, because she may crack when he calls her back again and again...

aadams73 · Dec 19, 2006

kimmi 57 said:
The boyfriend is totally disrespectful of Si and of women in general...He has made numerous comments about how stupid women are... what they are not capable of doing..

PS Sierra is very sensitive to the feelings of others even if they hurt her....thus her emotional rollarcoster ride.

If he is that big of an ass (which it sounds like he is) she really doesn't need to give a damn about his feelings. He obviously doesn't care about hers if he is that disrespectful.

Or, you could introduce her to someone much nicer and cuter

Or, you could tell her if she wants an out to blame it on you and your husband. "I can't go out with you anymore because my parents want me to study more."

Little Red Barn · Dec 19, 2006

Si's first boyfriend she had last year, went crazy when she broke up with him...He came over constantly to our house...She felt she was being smothered..it took her two months to get the nerve up, to break with him..He took it hard, came to our house at 3:00am in the morn and tried to get in her window....thats nerve, we are a police family. With enough ammo to start a small war.

He then started texting her every day about 20 times with "Goodnite Sierra", just that..over and over ; it was creeping out all of us and we feared the boy was now suicidal...which turns out he was. Hubby went and had a long talk with the whole family and we have not heard from him in awhile...so she's a little nervous to say the least.

Bravo · Dec 19, 2006

aadams73 said:
Or, you could introduce her to someone much nicer and cuter

I would never date a 16 year old.

But thank you for thinking about me.

Little Red Barn · Dec 19, 2006

Bravo said:
I would never date a 16 year old.

But thank you for thinking about me.

LOl!

Daggone Si, two more texts messeges...she's close. I feel it.
Just tell him you are in the shower...for the rest of your life!

writerterri · Dec 19, 2006

Jadezuki said:
Ugh.

It never ceases to amaze me how people say women are, on the whole, more emotional and irrational.

I can't think of one girl I've known who's freaked out inappropriately over a breakup, but I've got a list of guys as long as my arm. Someone needs to teach these boys to move on. Crying to friends and family is appropriate. Stalking someone to try and "get them back" is not.

16 is so confusing. I'll have two of them someday. One right after the other. Can't wait.

TrainofThought · Dec 19, 2006

Do it before Christmas so she doesn’t have to buy a gift. She can send a fruitcake to his house with a note that says, “I’m confused right now.”

Little Red Barn · Dec 19, 2006

TrainofThought said:
Do it before Christmas so she doesn’t have to buy a gift. She can send a fruitcake to his house with a note that says, “I’m confused right now.”

LOL, told her to buy some of that $3.00 bathroom POLO for this boy.

kimmi ready to drive over to his house now....arghhh

Jcomp · Dec 19, 2006

Jadezuki said:
I can't think of one girl I've known who's freaked out inappropriately over a breakup, but I've got a list of guys as long as my arm. Someone needs to teach these boys to move on. Crying to friends and family is appropriate. Stalking someone to try and "get them back" is not.

I've had my fair share of stalker chicks I can introduce you to. It goes both ways. Guys tend to be creepy or pathetic, follow you to the club stalkerish while girls tend to be more weepy, show up at your crib unannounced like y'all never broke up stalkerish.

aliajohnson · Dec 19, 2006

Poor Sierra, for her, it's a really big deal. :Hug2:

I like aadams idea of blaming it on the parents. My mom let me do that once in junior high. Dating a really sweet kid and hated the idea of kicking his ego. So mom said, "if you like, you can blame it on me." I did.

He wasn't happy about it, but it wasn't his fault, or mine (as far as he knew). So that was that. Could you offer her that option?

Side--feeling better?

Little Red Barn · Dec 19, 2006

I just solved this one...why didn't I think of it before...
I texted her back and told her "Daddy and I really like this boy...a lot, perfect boyfriend..., he's great....yada yada blah blah!"

Little Red Barn · Dec 19, 2006

kimmi 57 said:
I just solved this one...why didn't I think of it before...
I texted her back and told her "Daddy and I really like this boy...a lot, perfect boyfriend..., he's great....yada yada blah blah!"

...BINGO! yes...just now rcvd. text back. She did it....sometimes lifes answers are so simple!

Little Red Barn · Dec 19, 2006

Jadezuki said:
... I think my brain just exploded.

She just drains me...love that teen! I think I have no brains left...LOL LOL

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