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DreamWorks
12-17-2006, 06:49 AM
I didn't write these lyrics. Before I reveal the author I was curious what you guys think... :)

Memories of secret handshakes, you
It speak my language
Sees, I cease to believe
You're gonna leave.

And acting out a fight
When you're not around
With ease, I cease to exist
I slip through the leaves
We once had to wish

Oh we wished for,
Heaven, It now only seems
Like torture

Oh this ghost
Will win my host it's, lingering
In me, and around my neck
It taps on my head
While i'm asleep

Memories of secret handshakes, you
it speak my language
Sees, that cease to believe
You're gonna leave

DreamWorks
12-17-2006, 07:02 AM
Another one not by me... I really want to know what you guys think :)

Title: Soda Shop

you held my head over the edge of the bed
I remember it now
but at the time I thought I was dead
you put a pan there
and held back my hair
how can I repay you for saving me?
how can I repay you for saving me
and my hardwood floor

shooby dooby doo op I overdid it at the sodashop
thanks for being my girl at the I don't know when to stop sock hop

and when the world stops spinning round
I pick the pan off of the ground
I read my upheaves
they're much like tea leaves
they said its over so get sober or you'll die again

DreamWorks
12-17-2006, 07:14 AM
And I continue... Really curious what you guys think... feel free to just comment on one and not the other

Upside Down

I walk a tight rope
and live with a high hope
that somehow we still feel the same

through this catastrophe it's quietly telling me
welcome that first word again

I don't care if the worlds upside down
if you're lost or you're found
I know your feet will stay far from the ground
If you just stick around

I know the shots you call gentle
cause I could fall and break
you'll hear what they say

I read between the lines
It's just like a hate crime
And tell me the dateline today

I don't care if the worlds upside down if you're lost or you're found
I know your feet will stay far from the ground
If you just stick around

mooncars
12-17-2006, 11:01 PM
While two of those lyrics bore me to tears, Soda Shop is curiously funny.

DreamWorks
12-18-2006, 05:56 AM
wow interesting. ok soda shop is by jay brannan, an as yet unlabelled artist of outstanding talent and the other 2 are by scott matthews also unlabelled still but even more talented, i think. all three songs are from the soundtrack of shortbus... an explicit, shocking yet life life-affirming movie with an amazing soundtrack.

Steve Lenaghan
12-18-2006, 09:05 AM
Music of the times I guess. I shall retreat to my Leonard Cohen

Remember the first C in Rap is silent, but thats IMHO

DreamWorks
12-18-2006, 09:42 AM
Ah, Cohen... now there's a songwriter!

Now the flames they followed Joan of Arc
as she came riding through the dark;
no moon to keep her armour bright,
no man to get her through this very smoky night.
She said, "I'm tired of the war,
I want the kind of work I had before,
a wedding dress or something white
to wear upon my swollen appetite."
Well, I'm glad to hear you talk this way,
you know I've watched you riding every day
and something in me yearns to win
such a cold and lonesome heroine.
"And who are you?" she sternly spoke
to the one beneath the smoke.
"Why, I'm fire," he replied,
"And I love your solitude, I love your pride."

"Then fire, make your body cold,
I'm going to give you mine to hold,"
saying this she climbed inside
to be his one, to be his only bride.
And deep into his fiery heart
he took the dust of Joan of Arc,
and high above the wedding guests
he hung the ashes of her wedding dress.

It was deep into his fiery heart
he took the dust of Joan of Arc,
and then she clearly understood
if he was fire, oh then she must be wood.
I saw her wince, I saw her cry,
I saw the glory in her eye.
Myself I long for love and light,
but must it come so cruel, and oh so bright?

Nicholas S.H.J.M Woodhouse
12-18-2006, 09:45 AM
I really like cohen, talented guy. Dress Rehearsal Rag is excellent.

Steve Lenaghan
12-18-2006, 05:15 PM
Leonard (http://www.leonardcohenfiles.com/) and I grew up in the same neighborhood in Montreal, he was older and probably the Jewish kid who pushed me off the swings in Westmount Park. Glad I never hit him in the mouth. I cant warm to much of his poetry but I will leave albums on repeat much to the frustration of my family. My favorite Who by Fire (http://www.seeklyrics.com/lyrics/Leonard-Cohen/Who-By-Fire.html) and Tacoma Trailer, probably his only non vocal creation.

DreamWorks
12-18-2006, 06:04 PM
That is too cool for words! please tell me what you think of my latest attempt at writing for music, one post below this one - and get a rep point!

Steve Lenaghan
12-18-2006, 07:36 PM
That is too cool for words! please tell me what you think of my latest attempt at writing for music, one post below this one - and get a rep point!

It's not my kind of music. That said I was raised in a house surrounded by the classics. My great uncle is Sir Hubert Parry (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hubert_Parry)so you can see where the gene pool is. But I DJ'd through the Disco 70's, owned a record store (same 70's) and was an announcer at CBC and played the gamut of music.

We used to set a morning aside once to play new releases. If the first 10 seconds didn't grab us it went in the B pile. Then we would replay to see if we missed something. Like my novel, I don't have the hook and that stalls the reader.

Check out Brave New Waves (http://www.cbc.ca/programguide/program/index.jsp?program=BraveNewWaves)on CBC Internet. You will hear stuff that mainstream radio avoids. And it may give you some inspiration to work in your genre. Personally I turn it off.

But don't let me get you down. I hate (c)RAP but there are some filthy rich performers out there whose cash flush fans buy their music(?)

mooncars
12-18-2006, 10:22 PM
Music of the times I guess. I shall retreat to my Leonard Cohen

Remember the first C in Rap is silent, but thats IMHO

Country+Rap=CRAP

Steve Lenaghan
12-18-2006, 11:34 PM
Country+Rap=CRAP

Big and Rich, Save A Horse Ride A Cowboy (http://www.hit-country-music-lyrics.com/save-a-horse-lyrics.html) (link plays song) Gotta walk careful on that one, I live where we have real cowboys.

DreamWorks
12-19-2006, 12:34 AM
I'm sorry there may have been a misunderstanding... I was referring to the thread below this one, wherein i posted my new song entitled: is this a song or a poem? I didn't write the songs in this thread... I hope we had a misunderstanding??

Steve Lenaghan
12-19-2006, 12:47 AM
the thread below this one,

The thread order is somewhat volatile with order charging depending on replies. If you can, link to the thread. If you need help doing that PM me.

mooncars
12-19-2006, 05:48 AM
Big and Rich, Save A Horse Ride A Cowboy (http://www.hit-country-music-lyrics.com/save-a-horse-lyrics.html) (link plays song) Gotta walk careful on that one, I live where we have real cowboys.

Is it near Brokeback Mountain? :?D

Steve Lenaghan
12-19-2006, 05:56 AM
Is it near Brokeback Mountain? :?D
Nope that place is in the USA. But they filmed the exteriors in Canada (http://www.usatoday.com/travel/destinations/2006-02-02-brokeback-mountain-tourism_x.htm), I guess they couldn't find any place that looked as good. Film did well, I bet the writer got more than you or I will see.

DreamWorks
12-19-2006, 04:18 PM
I take it you don't have much of a sense of humor steve? Mooncars was making a funny.

BTW, why do you think any of the songs I posted on this thread are rap songs? There is nothing about them that is in anyway shape or form rap. and if you would hear them played you would probably faint because even though the lyrics are maybe not brilliant everything else is possibly better than cohen.

here is the link to my latest song if you are still interested.

http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=49389

Steve Lenaghan
12-19-2006, 05:37 PM
I take it you don't have much of a sense of humor.

BTW, why do you think any of the songs I posted on this thread are rap songs?

Actually I have a good sense of humor (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?p=983228#post983228). You probably assumed that my rap comment was aimed at you. Without actually having heard words done to music I cannot comment on what is sounds like. To me it is a poem until I hear the tune and how the words work with the melody. As I explained from my experience in broadcasting, hearing a work is a necessity. I would suggest you have some mechanism to post a performance somewhere and link it. Do not do a live version, crowd reaction is distracting. Watch your mixing, don't drown the lyrics with rhythm unless the entire song consists of baby-baby-baby-l Love you, baby-baby-baby.

The songs posted here iare not that, but I suffered through 3:30 songs where half the song was just that.

Creativity aside, 3 minutes 30 seconds is a very popular commercial broadcast length. There are a few bathroom-break songs, MacArthur Park, American Pie, 7:30 come to mind. Thats why you NEVER hear Tubular Bells on commercial radio. Be eclectic in your music. There is a lot of inspiration in other genres. A lot of music makes the crossover cut. Shaina Twain proved that. And don't be offended if someone covers your music, you still get the royalties. The Bee Gees wrote a lot of material for others that they never performed.

I like classical, classic rock and country, some new country, 40's band and jazz. Disco is back, they just call it something different. I do not like Rap, some new age, scratchy sax, guitar players who drag their calloused fingers the length of the neck and most opera.


A fat man in a tight suit, standing in the middle of a big stage, screaming at me in Italian.

I am only one voice. They'll love you and they'll hate you but at the end of the night when the bar keep hands the band a wad of cash you will know you're on the way.

DreamWorks
12-21-2006, 05:37 AM
Sorry Steve. Yes you are funny indeed. Thanks for sharing your thoughts