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DreamWorks
12-16-2006, 02:33 AM
Thank you my dear critters... thank you for your great suggestions :)

DreamWorks
12-16-2006, 11:48 PM
back in business!!! any thoughts?

moblues
12-17-2006, 01:59 AM
I like this, DW. I don't think this is too preachy. I also like that you have three forms within the piece. Obviously, the chorus would have its own form. That means you have two distinct verse forms. Nice.




Mike

Scarlett_156
12-17-2006, 03:15 AM
Actually this type of lyric lends itself well to metal. Just sayin! I think you're making excellent progress.

jbal
12-17-2006, 05:08 AM
Once again DW, you're coming along quickly. This seems very heartfelt and was easy to connect to. I'd agree with Scarlett that this would work very nicely as metal. "Die for my Sins" by Sanctuary was what kept coming up in my mind. Good work.

DreamWorks
12-17-2006, 06:32 AM
Check top message.

Thanks a million