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View Full Version : A gift for all of you or y'all, depends where. Publishing suggestion, a bit late



Steve Lenaghan
12-14-2006, 07:31 PM
On the first day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
A partridge in a pear tree.

Oh, my wonderful sweet girl. This is such an unexpected surprise. For her I shall make a special place in the living room so all can see this most treasured gift.
-
On the second day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Two turtle doves,
And a partridge in a pear tree.

How novel, turtle doves. Their cage will hang in a prominent place among my treasures. And another partridge. The first will not be lonely now.
- -
On the third day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Three French hens,
Two turtle doves,
And a partridge in a pear tree.

This girl’s generosity is overwhelming. The French Hens are so pretty in the glow from the fireplace. And another pair of doves. There is room for the third pear tree. She is so wonderful.

- - -
On the fourth day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Four calling birds,
Three French hens,
Two turtle doves,
And a partridge in a pear tree.

Four calling birds, their songs are so calming. They are just loud enough to be heard above the cooing of the doves, the clucking of the chickens and call of the partridges. Well the four together are definitely memorable.

- - - - -
On the fifth day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Five golden rings,
Four calling birds,
Three French hens,
Two turtle doves,
And a partridge in a pear tree.

The FedEx man was here. I can’t find my ID. It was on the table where the French Hens have been nesting. Apparently private ownership of gold over a certain value requires a Federal Government Permit and I don’t have one. He will return tomorrow.

- - - - - -
On the sixth day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Six geese a-laying,
Five golden rings,
Four calling birds,
Three French hens,
Two turtle doves,
And a partridge in a pear tree.

The moving company came by with more cages and another tree. I still don’t have the permit for the gold and the now I have ten rings to sign for. The FexEx guy doesn’t have the spirit anymore.

- - - - - - -
On the seventh day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Seven swans a-swimming,
Six geese a-laying,
Five golden rings,
Four calling birds,
Three French hens,
Two turtle doves,
And a partridge in a pear tree.

I awoke to hear the pool people crashing around in the yard. I was about to head out when the door bell rang. The moving guys again. And FedEx and the Pets Plus with six bags of bird feed. The carpet cleaners promised to be here right after lunch. Afternoon spent putting swans back in pool. Girlfriend left phone on voice mail. Mailbox is full, should be I’ve been calling for two days.

- - - - - - - -
On the eighth day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Eight maids a-milking,
Seven swans a-swimming,
Six geese a-laying,
Five golden rings,
Four calling birds,
Three French hens,
Two turtle doves,
And a partridge in a pear tree.

For crying out loud, leave the door bell alone, I’m in the shower. FedEx supervisor. Seems they don’t have safe storage for precious metals and the G/F wont accept return. There is no space in living room for birds. Park car on street and use garage for geese and hens. Made a really nice omelet for breakfast. The maids are complaining there is no hand cream and the State Police said two cows are wandering the freeway.

- - - - - - - - -
On the ninth day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Nine ladies dancing,
Eight maids a-milking,
Seven swans a-swimming,
Six geese a-laying,
Five golden rings,
Four calling birds,
Three French hens,
Two turtle doves,
And a partridge in a pear tree.

There is a lineup in the driveway. Apparently I am not zoned for entertainment and I do not possess a permit for domestic livestock. The health inspector has scheduled a visit. The ATF agent has been asking questions as to why I suddenly require such quantities of gold and wants me to produce a country of origin form. Voice mail still full.

- - - - - - - - - -
On the tenth day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Ten lords a-leaping,
Nine ladies dancing,
Eight maids a-milking,
Seven swans a-swimming,
Six geese a-laying,
Five golden rings,
Four calling birds,
Three French hens,
Two turtle doves,
And a partridge in a pear tree.

The State Department called and advised the Lords had no special status in the country as Royal Appointments are not recognized. The moving company has their own key now. My lawyer has spent most of the afternoon getting stay orders against the municipality Bylaw Department. He’ll take the rings as payment.

- - - - - - - - - - -
On the eleventh day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Eleven pipers piping,
Ten lords a-leaping,
Nine ladies dancing,
Eight maids a-milking,
Seven swans a-swimming,
Six geese a-laying,
Five golden rings,
Four calling birds,
Three French hens,
Two turtle doves,
And a partridge in a pear tree.

I like Scottish music as much as the next man but eleven pipers are loud. CNN and NBC have satellite trucks down the street. I haven’t seen my neighbors for days. There is an Allied Van truck at Charlie’s. He was always so friendly. I’ll miss him. The county police have yellow tape all over now. Still no answer on her phone.

- - - - - - - - - - - -
On the twelfth day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Twelve drummers drumming,
Eleven pipers piping,
Ten lords a-leaping,
Nine ladies dancing,
Eight maids a-milking,
Seven swans a-swimming,
Six geese a-laying,
Five golden rings,
Four calling birds,
Three French hens,
Two turtle doves,
And a partridge in a pear tree!

The cab arrives shortly. My lawyer rushed my passport. I have a ticket to a country with no extradition treaty. The real estate people will e-mail me offers and the livestock company will get everything before supper tonight. I just have to stop at the County office to sign the restraining order. And clear off the by-law fines. The news says gold is up today. I just have enough for a beach house with no street address and no phone.

----

Heard song on radio. I know this topic gets the treatment, but here's mine. Done in 20 minutes, minimum editing,.

Have a happy from the frozen north. And they are Alaskan cold fronts not Canadian, thank you. We just provide direct to customer shipping.

Steve L.

p/s sorry for lousy formatting

ok to share, credit author with bags of chocolate. Uncle Jim said no booze or cigs, nothing about chocolate.

Richard Stephen Lenaghan 2006

Bufty
12-14-2006, 08:24 PM
Thanks for sharing, Steve. :roll:

WildScribe
12-15-2006, 03:05 AM
Very nice... :)

moblues
12-15-2006, 09:06 AM
That was great, Steve. Thanks.




Mike