What I want for Christmas.

There is a very nice thread around here. It is titled “What Would You Get An AWer For Christmas?”. I think that is a wonderful sentiment. I think it is a wonderful thread. I noticed my name was mentioned once or thrice. I really appreciate that. Really.

You dear folks will notice, however, that I haven’t posted anything for you. I started, then I took it back. The reason is because I am selfish.

Very selfish. Everything I want for Christmas is for and about me.

I want a luxury eight bedroom Villa in Northern Virginia Wine Country. I want this villa on 20 acres of well-kept vineyards. I want a 2 bedroom guest house, a huge, heated swimming pool with a water slide, and I want a hot tub that will seat 15.

I want an foyer paved with Italian marble. I want a beautiful formal living room and dining room. I want a study to write in and I want a library to read in.

I don’t want just any library. No, I want a room that is two stories tall and also accessible from the second floor hallway by way of an oak banistered walk that circles the room, allowing one to peruse the books on the way to the spiral staircase that leads to the first floor. I want a fireplace and sofas’ and overstuffed chairs and reading lights and an aquarium and…BOOKS. I want thirty thousand books shelved in my library.

But most of all I want a kitchen. I want a kitchen from every cooks dream. I want a cottage garden full of herbs that I can pluck as needed. I want three sinks, a walk in fridge and a pantry crafted from aged maple burnished to a rich shine. I want marble counter tops and three stoves so Sass, Weren and I can cook whatever strikes our fancy while William stalks the veranda, poetry book in hand, followed by Neuro, sipping whiskey and and tossing around crits.

I want Terri’s kids in the breakfast room giggling as they paint frosting clown faces on warm Christmas cookies. I want to hear Rob belch.

I want to watch the wonder on Dclary’s face as he discovers the ‘political’ corner of my collection and I want to watch as Billy, Spooky and Haggis discover the Glenlivit. I want to watch as BrokenFingers becomes drunk. I want Gpatten to discover the cigars, but take them outside for consumption.

I want Preyer to find the hardcopy ‘Lensman’ books on the shelf, over there.

I want to see the expression on ShadowFerret’s face when I hand him a BudLight and I want him to smile when he realizes I just fixed up a bottle of Sam Adams to ‘look like’ a Bud Light. I want to hear Mark Butler laugh when I do that.

I want to see Maryn’s beautiful long hair and the expression on Mr. Maryn’s face when he looks at her. I want to see Trish goose Teddy.

I want to hear the result when Jbal discovers my kids in the music room. i wnat to hear tri sigh when he discovers his new laptop.

I want to hear KTC howling in my cellar. I want to hear Unique howl right back at him from the terrace as she rolls William a spliff.

I want Branwyn and Carole to dance in my vineyard, blessing the grapes, and I want to watch TJ, SC and Sara relax in my great big sofa and know they can put the babies on the floor to play because the carpet is clean. (I want the ladies to be able to drink wine without having to change diapers)

I want to know, without looking, that RT is raising Cain, and I also want to know, without looking, that Ol’ Fashioned Girl has ‘pants’ –ed him …again.

I don’t want polyurethane anywhere near my villa, but I do want to see Celia Cyanide ride up on a big ol Harley with Truman riding shotgun.

I want to serve a selection of cheeses and my own wines and put out a salad made from what I’ve grown. I want to watch Susie, Aadams and Cath dig in.

I want to hear Rhymegirl laugh at one of Ray’s inside jokes while Gehenna and Eldragon coax the hamsters from the top of the Complete works of Shakespeare, and I want to watch Yeshanu read from a detailed, illuminated text of LOTR.

I want to watch PeeDee and Carrie have trike races on the patio, but I want to see SoccerMom’s kids win every time. I want to hear the squeals of delight when Dahmnait, Screen Mom and Tiny Terror discover I did, actually convert a Slurpee machine to make frozen daqueris.

I want to be aware that Tsuki, Dama, Bart, Alan, and Kikazaru have liberated a four pack of wine coolers and are hiding in the guest house plotting controlled, amusing, mayhem, and I’d like to laugh when Kida and Arisson ‘rat’ them out.

I want Terri to sit in the lounger without worrying about old sippy cups and I want September Skies to do the same.

I want Blacbird and Dr. Spork to enjoy the pooltable and beer, I want Jenna to be able to put her feet up and drink something more exciting than water and less alcoholic than beer, and I want Samgail, Jongfan and Birol to be the first in the hottub.

I want Midnight Muse to discover that not only do I have llamas, but they are indeed purple, and I did, really, cornrow jungle bells into their fur. I want Midnight Muse to be sober when she discovers this.

I want Bmwhtly to drive up in a new BMW with Poetinhat, ScarletPeaches and Penelope Pitstop. I want Kristie911 to ignore the phones, drink the tequila and dance on the table if she wants.

I want to serve scones to Teddy, shrimp to Shweta, subs to Simon and soufflé to StoryGirl.

I want to throw cranberries at Weren when he drinks Chianti and I want to throw chocolate chips at Sass before she ducks, and I want to bake peanut butter-pecan cookies that look like smashed gophers for Mac.

I want Jenan Mac to discover the old oak tree and I want Wildscribe to discover it has a swing. I want Janet Bellinger to dance on the stepping stones in my herb garden with Southern Writer.

I want Sven and the Black Knight to play in the hedgerows until Reph encourages them to stop, and I want Awatkins to go ahead and bring the parrot.

I want Elincoln and Stormy to chill next to the pool, and I’d like to see Three-Seven lurk, but not know that I see him lurking.

I want Dawno to notice that I hung twinkly lights all over the ‘Orlando Bloom’ room and I want Melina to help herself to as many pralines as she wants while she’s watching Dawno notice.

I want Vanessa to have her choice of coffee , Chunky C to have his choice of waffles, Matt to have his choice of gadgets, and Liam to have his choice of weapons.

I want James MacDonald and Victoria Strauss to feel appreciated, and hope a bit of wine will help.

I want anyone I may have forgotten to know that although I don’t know what I want you to do, I do want you here when you do something.

I want all newbies to feel welcome.

AND. FINALLY.. . . .

Once the sun goes down and the neighbors are in their homes, I want to hand out weapons and track down every gol’darned spammer that has managed to trespass onto my property.

Oh. I forgot. I want everyone to feel comfortable spending the night, the week or the entire holiday.

So, therefore I apologise for my selfish Christmas wants and I hope you, my friends will forgive me.

Jaycinth.

Ok. I want Alia to find her new cello in the music room (my daughter plays violin piano and guitar. Son plays bass and drums) while Alleycat realxes in a hammock between two new mountain bikes.

I want dclary to have sex, but not on my sofa. Maybe at the neighbor's house

writerterri said:

Is that all?


You're going to weigh him down this year. The reign deers are getting old my dear.


I want to reform Santa this year. I wan't Chris Cringle in his prime. I can just see him in his santa suit and hat, dark whispy hair lining his face bringing out his sharp jaw line and full lips. An open jacket with no shirt on, showing off his six pack. Holding his sack over his shoulder with come hither eyes.

Ladies? You want it too?

Click to expand...

You're married. I'm not.

Hey, Santa baby......