This question has probably been asked before but what do you think is the best way to write a conversation over the phone.
Thx!:snoopy
Thx!:snoopy
- Status
Here's the script for "Phone Booth":
www.stationfive.com/movie..._Booth.txt
I don't know if that's the best way, but it's the only example I could think of for the time being.
Of course, in that situation the character on the other side of the phone is heard, but never seen during the phone conversations. So, depending on how your screenplay works, you might want to seek out another example where the camera would swap scenes between each character.
<3.
www.stationfive.com/movie..._Booth.txt
I don't know if that's the best way, but it's the only example I could think of for the time being.
Of course, in that situation the character on the other side of the phone is heard, but never seen during the phone conversations. So, depending on how your screenplay works, you might want to seek out another example where the camera would swap scenes between each character.
<3.
Keep it as short as possible. If you want the audience to hear the person on the other side, write is as dialog and the slug of the person on the other side would be:
PERSON (O.S.)
(filtered)
If you want to do an intercut (the audience sees both people talking) you put that in the scene heading:
INT./EXT. OFFICE / PAY PHONE - INTERCUT
Then scene directions and dialog as usual....
You can also write it so that the audience can hear only one side of the conversation. In this case, make sure you separate the monologue by "beat"
Hope this helps...
PERSON (O.S.)
(filtered)
If you want to do an intercut (the audience sees both people talking) you put that in the scene heading:
INT./EXT. OFFICE / PAY PHONE - INTERCUT
Then scene directions and dialog as usual....
You can also write it so that the audience can hear only one side of the conversation. In this case, make sure you separate the monologue by "beat"
Hope this helps...
not exactly, ivy...
O.S. is only used when the person is in the scene but 'off screen' [not on camera]... such as behind a door or in another room...
what i'm sure you meant for the phone dialog was V.O. [voice over], meaning the person is elsewhere physically, but heard in the scene...
and when V.O. is used, you don't need 'filtered' [it's an antiquated term, anyway]... the simplest way is to just add (VO) or (on phone) or (on speaker), if voice not coming from the handset, after the character's name...
using 'beat' is also not done these days... use of -- after an interrupted bit of dialog or ... to signal a pause, is all that's needed...
love and hugs, maia
O.S. is only used when the person is in the scene but 'off screen' [not on camera]... such as behind a door or in another room...
what i'm sure you meant for the phone dialog was V.O. [voice over], meaning the person is elsewhere physically, but heard in the scene...
and when V.O. is used, you don't need 'filtered' [it's an antiquated term, anyway]... the simplest way is to just add (VO) or (on phone) or (on speaker), if voice not coming from the handset, after the character's name...
using 'beat' is also not done these days... use of -- after an interrupted bit of dialog or ... to signal a pause, is all that's needed...
love and hugs, maia
thx
Thankyou, a few of those ideas were circulating in my brain. I will use the intercut but I am now using the (VO) for another scene.
arty
Thankyou, a few of those ideas were circulating in my brain. I will use the intercut but I am now using the (VO) for another scene.
artyRe: not exactly, ivy...
It's always good to hear so many different viewpoints covering the same topic! I used to insert (into phone) and (filtered) as parentheticals, but those darn script analysis tools always count these as if it's significant somehow -- maybe it's a plot to identify newbies over-fond of wrylies? -- and if there's a lot of phone calls then the final count looks artificially heavy. So I put them alongside the character names instead, e.g.
The phone RINGS. Eddie picks up.
EDDIE (INTO PHONE)
Yeah?
MALE VOICE (FILTERED)
Who the hell is this?
EDDIE
Who the hell is this?
MALE VOICE
Is that Room three-twelve?
EDDIE
Yes it's Room three-twelve.
MALE VOICE
Where the hell is my wife?
EDDIE
That's a good question. Isn't
she with you?
MALE VOICE
I'm coming up there and I'm gonna
knock your block off, buddy.
EDDIE
Have to find me first, you jerk.
Eddie hangs up.
...Feel free to tell me that's completely wrong. Big shrug, it's clear, and that's all that matters.
-Derek
It's always good to hear so many different viewpoints covering the same topic! I used to insert (into phone) and (filtered) as parentheticals, but those darn script analysis tools always count these as if it's significant somehow -- maybe it's a plot to identify newbies over-fond of wrylies? -- and if there's a lot of phone calls then the final count looks artificially heavy. So I put them alongside the character names instead, e.g.
The phone RINGS. Eddie picks up.
EDDIE (INTO PHONE)
Yeah?
MALE VOICE (FILTERED)
Who the hell is this?
EDDIE
Who the hell is this?
MALE VOICE
Is that Room three-twelve?
EDDIE
Yes it's Room three-twelve.
MALE VOICE
Where the hell is my wife?
EDDIE
That's a good question. Isn't
she with you?
MALE VOICE
I'm coming up there and I'm gonna
knock your block off, buddy.
EDDIE
Have to find me first, you jerk.
Eddie hangs up.
...Feel free to tell me that's completely wrong. Big shrug, it's clear, and that's all that matters.
-Derek
-----------------------
"Now lemme see your war face! Oh, I think my bunny slippers just ran for cover." ~Mushu to Mulan, MULANok, derek... will do...
...sorry, but it's close to completely wrong... and not really clear...
a. eddie is in the scene, so no parenthetical is needed after his name in the dialog... putting anything there is strictly amateur stuff...
b. 'filtered' is antiquated... (on phone) or (VO) are what's most used, or (amplified), if on a speaker...
c. every time the 'male voice' is speaking, you must repeat the (VO) or whatever...
try not to hate me too much, ok?... love and hugs, maia
...sorry, but it's close to completely wrong... and not really clear...
a. eddie is in the scene, so no parenthetical is needed after his name in the dialog... putting anything there is strictly amateur stuff...
b. 'filtered' is antiquated... (on phone) or (VO) are what's most used, or (amplified), if on a speaker...
c. every time the 'male voice' is speaking, you must repeat the (VO) or whatever...
try not to hate me too much, ok?... love and hugs, maia
Re: ok, derek... will do...
...sorry, but it's close to completely wrong... and not really clear...
Beg to differ, it's nowhere near completely wrong, and it's pretty clear. Which makes me ask, just how dumb are script readers? Are they retarded? Do they need pictures drawn in crayon before they understand?
a. eddie is in the scene, so no parenthetical is needed after his name in the dialog... putting anything there is strictly amateur stuff...
Your response relies on a lot of assumptions. First and foremost, what if someone else is present? Just for fun's sake:
Eddie looks at Maggie.
EDDIE
So where's the dead girl?
MAGGIE
She was right here.
EDDIE
That's funny, I don't see a body.
Or even a drop of blood.
The phone RINGS. Eddie picks up.
EDDIE (INTO PHONE)
Yeah?
MALE VOICE (FILTERED)
Who the hell is this?
EDDIE
Who the hell is this?
Eddie covers the phone with his hand.
EDDIE
Some guy.
MAGGIE
Ask him who he is.
MALE VOICE (FILTERED)
Is that Room three-twelve?
EDDIE (INTO PHONE)
Yes it's Room three-twelve.
MALE VOICE
Where the hell is my wife?
Eddie covers the phone with his hand.
EDDIE
The husband, looking for the wife.
MAGGIE
Ask him if he knows she's dead.
EDDIE (INTO PHONE)
That's a good question. Isn't she
with you?
MALE VOICE (FILTERED)
I'm coming up there and I'm gonna
knock your block off, buddy.
EDDIE
Have to find me first, you jerk.
Eddie hangs up.
....Which reads pretty clear to me. Educate me -- copy/paste the above and write it your way.
b. 'filtered' is antiquated... (on phone) or (VO) are what's most used, or (amplified), if on a speaker...
Everyone has an opinion on this, too. If I want an unclear connection or distortion then I'll use "filtered" -- that's what it means.
c. every time the 'male voice' is speaking, you must repeat the (VO) or whatever...
Waste of words. Once who's talking is established there's no need to repeat until the circumstances change, see above.
try not to hate me too much, ok?
Shrug, I'd have to know you and you'd have to do something pretty bad for me to hate you.
-Derek
"Good work, Nancy Drew!" ~Will & Grace
...sorry, but it's close to completely wrong... and not really clear...
Beg to differ, it's nowhere near completely wrong, and it's pretty clear. Which makes me ask, just how dumb are script readers? Are they retarded? Do they need pictures drawn in crayon before they understand?
a. eddie is in the scene, so no parenthetical is needed after his name in the dialog... putting anything there is strictly amateur stuff...
Your response relies on a lot of assumptions. First and foremost, what if someone else is present? Just for fun's sake:
Eddie looks at Maggie.
EDDIE
So where's the dead girl?
MAGGIE
She was right here.
EDDIE
That's funny, I don't see a body.
Or even a drop of blood.
The phone RINGS. Eddie picks up.
EDDIE (INTO PHONE)
Yeah?
MALE VOICE (FILTERED)
Who the hell is this?
EDDIE
Who the hell is this?
Eddie covers the phone with his hand.
EDDIE
Some guy.
MAGGIE
Ask him who he is.
MALE VOICE (FILTERED)
Is that Room three-twelve?
EDDIE (INTO PHONE)
Yes it's Room three-twelve.
MALE VOICE
Where the hell is my wife?
Eddie covers the phone with his hand.
EDDIE
The husband, looking for the wife.
MAGGIE
Ask him if he knows she's dead.
EDDIE (INTO PHONE)
That's a good question. Isn't she
with you?
MALE VOICE (FILTERED)
I'm coming up there and I'm gonna
knock your block off, buddy.
EDDIE
Have to find me first, you jerk.
Eddie hangs up.
....Which reads pretty clear to me. Educate me -- copy/paste the above and write it your way.
b. 'filtered' is antiquated... (on phone) or (VO) are what's most used, or (amplified), if on a speaker...
Everyone has an opinion on this, too. If I want an unclear connection or distortion then I'll use "filtered" -- that's what it means.
c. every time the 'male voice' is speaking, you must repeat the (VO) or whatever...
Waste of words. Once who's talking is established there's no need to repeat until the circumstances change, see above.
try not to hate me too much, ok?
Shrug, I'd have to know you and you'd have to do something pretty bad for me to hate you.
-Derek
-----------------------
"So, he didn't tell you and he didn't tell me. That means it's something he doesn't want us to know!""Good work, Nancy Drew!" ~Will & Grace
Re: ok, derek... will do...
...you are, in effect, drawing pictures with some of what you wrote [see below]...
a. eddie is in the scene, so no parenthetical is needed after his name in the dialog... putting anything there is strictly amateur stuff...
...picture drawn!... he picks up the phone, so it's clear he's now talking into it... especially since the caller's dialog follows... thus, you did NOT need (INTO PHONE)...
MALE VOICE (FILTERED)
Who the hell is this?
EDDIE
Who the hell is this?
Eddie covers the phone with his hand.
EDDIE
(turns to Maggie)
Some guy.
MAGGIE
Ask him who he is.
Eddie resumes phone conversation.
MALE VOICE (FILTERED)
Is that Room three-twelve?
EDDIE
Yes it's Room three-twelve.
MALE VOICE
Where the hell is my wife?
EDDIE
(to Maggie)
The husband, looking for the wife.
MAGGIE
Ask him if he knows she's dead.
Eddie frowns, then shrugs, returns to caller.
EDDIE
That's a good question. Isn't she
with you?
MALE VOICE (FILTERED)
I'm coming up there and I'm gonna
knock your block off, buddy.
EDDIE
Have to find me first, you jerk.
Eddie hangs up.
....Which reads pretty clear to me. Educate me -- copy/paste the above and write it your way.
...did... see above in bold... if you want to show interaction with maggie about the call, scene would work better if you give some indication of what eddie and maggie's reaction is to what's being said on the phone... i just added one little bit, to demonstrate...
m
...you are, in effect, drawing pictures with some of what you wrote [see below]...
a. eddie is in the scene, so no parenthetical is needed after his name in the dialog... putting anything there is strictly amateur stuff...
...picture drawn!... he picks up the phone, so it's clear he's now talking into it... especially since the caller's dialog follows... thus, you did NOT need (INTO PHONE)...
MALE VOICE (FILTERED)
Who the hell is this?
EDDIE
Who the hell is this?
Eddie covers the phone with his hand.
EDDIE
(turns to Maggie)
Some guy.
MAGGIE
Ask him who he is.
Eddie resumes phone conversation.
MALE VOICE (FILTERED)
Is that Room three-twelve?
EDDIE
Yes it's Room three-twelve.
MALE VOICE
Where the hell is my wife?
EDDIE
(to Maggie)
The husband, looking for the wife.
MAGGIE
Ask him if he knows she's dead.
Eddie frowns, then shrugs, returns to caller.
EDDIE
That's a good question. Isn't she
with you?
MALE VOICE (FILTERED)
I'm coming up there and I'm gonna
knock your block off, buddy.
EDDIE
Have to find me first, you jerk.
Eddie hangs up.
....Which reads pretty clear to me. Educate me -- copy/paste the above and write it your way.
...did... see above in bold... if you want to show interaction with maggie about the call, scene would work better if you give some indication of what eddie and maggie's reaction is to what's being said on the phone... i just added one little bit, to demonstrate...
m
somewhat, but not completely, bess...
she's right about all but using 'O.S.' and 'beat'... for the reasons i gave...
she's right about all but using 'O.S.' and 'beat'... for the reasons i gave...
No, she's right about everything.
I get paid to write for film and television. I know these things.
I get paid to write for film and television. I know these things.
since you get paid to write for film...
then you should know the basic difference between OS and VO... and if you still insist ivylily is right about using OS for a phone conversation, then i have to wonder why...
and 'beat' is more than a little outdated [in film]... while it may be used in tv work, no one who knows screenwriting is gonna be using it in a film script, unless they've been writing [and selling!] them for decades and it's just a habit...
then you should know the basic difference between OS and VO... and if you still insist ivylily is right about using OS for a phone conversation, then i have to wonder why...
and 'beat' is more than a little outdated [in film]... while it may be used in tv work, no one who knows screenwriting is gonna be using it in a film script, unless they've been writing [and selling!] them for decades and it's just a habit...
Nice reply, Bess...we'll see if she responds to your challenge...smiles.
Bess is correct, mamma.
VO is used as a narrative device to describe what's on-screen or to add to what's being seen.
Bess is correct, mamma.
VO is used as a narrative device to describe what's on-screen or to add to what's being seen.
I have to agree with Ivy and the rest.
O.S. suggests that the person speaking is speaking at the same time as the scene taking place. That would normally be someone in the room who is just off-camera, but it would also include someone on the other end of a telephone line.
V.O. has a completely different connotation. It suggests someone speaking at a DIFFERENT time and place as the action on the screen. This cold be run of the mill narration, or it could be used when someone continues speaking after a scene has shifted to a new locale.
O.S. suggests that the person speaking is speaking at the same time as the scene taking place. That would normally be someone in the room who is just off-camera, but it would also include someone on the other end of a telephone line.
V.O. has a completely different connotation. It suggests someone speaking at a DIFFERENT time and place as the action on the screen. This cold be run of the mill narration, or it could be used when someone continues speaking after a scene has shifted to a new locale.
vo/os
OS [off screen] means the person has been established to be IN the scene [AT the location given in the slug line] but is simply not 'on camera' at the time the dialog is spoken [such as having gone into an adjoining room, or when the camera is focused on a person being interviewed] ... which can not include a person on the other side of a phone conversation [unless he/she's speaking from the next room and we hear the voice 'on site' and not through the phone handset or speaker... OS is not determined by being spoken 'at the same time' as derek states, but only by being in the same place [in the scene physically, not just via voice]...
VO [voice over] is what's used for all dialog delivered by characters not only not seen on camera, but who are in a location OTHER THAN that designated in the slug line... such as on the other end of a phone conversation; announcements over loudspeakers; narration over a scene; et al.
this is the accepted norm in the screenwriting/film biz... it may be otherwise in tv, but if you're writing screenplays for feature films, and do what you folks [ivy, bess, derek, writer1] propose, it will be 'wrong'...
as you all seem to be convinced you're right and i'm wrong, i guess we'll just have to agree to disagree... but i'll continue to advise beginners to follow the rules 'n regs on this subject, as endorsed by those who teach screenwriting, such as trottier (pgs 139/140) and as shown in scripts by some of the best writers in the business [e.g., the abyss; contact; nixon; as good as it gets]...
love and hugs, maia
OS [off screen] means the person has been established to be IN the scene [AT the location given in the slug line] but is simply not 'on camera' at the time the dialog is spoken [such as having gone into an adjoining room, or when the camera is focused on a person being interviewed] ... which can not include a person on the other side of a phone conversation [unless he/she's speaking from the next room and we hear the voice 'on site' and not through the phone handset or speaker... OS is not determined by being spoken 'at the same time' as derek states, but only by being in the same place [in the scene physically, not just via voice]...
VO [voice over] is what's used for all dialog delivered by characters not only not seen on camera, but who are in a location OTHER THAN that designated in the slug line... such as on the other end of a phone conversation; announcements over loudspeakers; narration over a scene; et al.
this is the accepted norm in the screenwriting/film biz... it may be otherwise in tv, but if you're writing screenplays for feature films, and do what you folks [ivy, bess, derek, writer1] propose, it will be 'wrong'...
as you all seem to be convinced you're right and i'm wrong, i guess we'll just have to agree to disagree... but i'll continue to advise beginners to follow the rules 'n regs on this subject, as endorsed by those who teach screenwriting, such as trottier (pgs 139/140) and as shown in scripts by some of the best writers in the business [e.g., the abyss; contact; nixon; as good as it gets]...
love and hugs, maia
Ahem.
You never answered. What are your credits? I'm curious. You seem to have a lot of emotional investment in being seen as an authority on screenwriting.
I write both features and tv. That's how I earn a living. I try to help people out who are just finding their way in the business, because I know how long and difficult a road it is. I've been there. And I'm one of the few that has actually succeeded in making this their life's work.
I can give you a link to the trailer for a feature film I wrote, which will be released next November. I can also link you to websites to a new television series I'm writing for, which premieres June 2nd. But first you have to tell me what your credits are, since you expressed doubts about my credibility. That wasn't very kind of you.
You never answered. What are your credits? I'm curious. You seem to have a lot of emotional investment in being seen as an authority on screenwriting.
I write both features and tv. That's how I earn a living. I try to help people out who are just finding their way in the business, because I know how long and difficult a road it is. I've been there. And I'm one of the few that has actually succeeded in making this their life's work.
I can give you a link to the trailer for a feature film I wrote, which will be released next November. I can also link you to websites to a new television series I'm writing for, which premieres June 2nd. But first you have to tell me what your credits are, since you expressed doubts about my credibility. That wasn't very kind of you.
Bess
Hiya, Bess
I've seen several of your posts here and on Done Deal.
I'd love to take a look at those links...see what you've been up to...smiles.
Also, if you have the time...I have 12 pages(in 2 sections) posted in the Done Deal Script Pages forum...Passage To Fortune...lemme know what you think.
Thanks,
Mark
Hiya, Bess
I've seen several of your posts here and on Done Deal.
I'd love to take a look at those links...see what you've been up to...smiles.
Also, if you have the time...I have 12 pages(in 2 sections) posted in the Done Deal Script Pages forum...Passage To Fortune...lemme know what you think.
Thanks,
Mark
- Status