Dumbest thing I've ever heard...

some one once asked me if motorcycles had air condioning. Hand to god.

"I do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will faithfully execute the office of President of the United States, and will to the best of my ability, preserve, protect, and defend the Constitution of the United States." - George W. Bush

From my sister, swear to God: "Hey look, three twins!"

Actually, that makes sense in an odd sort of way. Why give up one thing that might cause cancer for another thing that might cause cancer?

at the library: "Do you have movies for the blind?'

It makes sense to me, actually. Why risk cancer if you STILL can't smoke?

Unique said:

at the library: "Do you have movies for the blind?'

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Maybe there's a narrator in the corner explaining what's going on?

"A door explodes outwards and then several white helmeted stormtroopers come running into the corridor as laser blaster fire fills the air. That heavy breathing you hear is coming from a man in black known as Darth Vader."

Yea, they're called audio tapes.

Unique said:

at the library: "Do you have movies for the blind?'

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Actually . . . they do, believe it or not. There's a separate narrative that goes along with the film describing what's seen.

Then no, we don't have any.

(we were imagining raised dots on the screen and someone sitting real close to the set)

tourdeforce said:

"I do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will faithfully execute the office of President of the United States, and will to the best of my ability, preserve, protect, and defend the Constitution of the United States." - George W. Bush

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Let me guess . . . you can hardly wait to be able to post in TIO.

My favorite narrative track ever is on the Monty Python and the Holy Grail DVD: they recite Shakespeare's Henry VII for people who don't like the movie.

Unique said:

Then no, we don't have any.

(we were imagining raised dots on the screen and someone sitting real close to the set)

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By mistake, I've actually gotten one or two from my local library over the years.

My parents were co-pastors of a Parish of THREE Presbyterian Churches. THe churches had been joined in a Parish for many years before my parents came. It wasn't a new thing. I was visiting my parents and met a girl who said she went to my parents church. "Which one?" I asked, given that there were, you know, three. The girl looked befuddled and said "The Presbyterian one." *SIGH*

I used to work with a woman who was just incredibly dumb. One afternoon, we were outside where we were smoking. For some reason, we were talking about quitting smoking. I said that I quit when I was pregnant, but unfortunately started back when my inlaws came to visit. She said, "I didn't quit when I was pregnant. I smoked just so I could have small babies. I didn't want to have an epidural."

My mouth dropped open, along with everyone else's. This was about two years ago probably, and we still talk about her and those comments.

Oh, I bet she's a great parent.

OH, Oh! I got another one.

I don't even remember how it came up, but we had a temp where I used to work, and I mentioned something about Toxic Shock Syndrome. There are warnings ALL OVER tampon boxes. On the box, in the box, on a pamphlet in the box. EVERY box. I was only 21, but she was in her thirties, and she didn't know what Toxic Shock Syndrome was. How do you put something in your body and not read the literature that comes with it?

Southern_girl29 said:

I used to work with a woman who was just incredibly dumb. One afternoon, we were outside where we were smoking. For some reason, we were talking about quitting smoking. I said that I quit when I was pregnant, but unfortunately started back when my inlaws came to visit. She said, "I didn't quit when I was pregnant. I smoked just so I could have small babies. I didn't want to have an epidural."

My mouth dropped open, along with everyone else's. This was about two years ago probably, and we still talk about her and those comments.

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Unfortunately I know two women who did exactly that. Luckily all of their kids are healthy. (However chain smoking makes these 40ish's look like grandmas...GREAT grandmas)

sassandgroove said:

Oh, I bet she's a great parent.

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No offense to anyone who does this, but she put her daughter in all those pageants, the kind JonBenet Ramsey was in. Not just the little local pagenats, but the full pageant wear, make-up for three year olds, kind of thing. And, she joked about getting arrested at one of them for getting in a fight with a judge. I'm not kidding about all of this. One day she told me I needed to put my little girl in the pageants and I said, "I don't need a judge to tell me that my daughter is beautiful. I already know it." It went right over her head.

That really, really scares me.

There's this radio bit I can't get out of my head. So this guy emails the local radio station complaining about his best friend's relationship with this woman. The best friend always talks about how controlling his girlfriend is, but does so in a joking dismissive sort of way. One day, the best friend tells the guy that his girlfriend is so tired of him peeing on the toilet seat in their apartment that she's now making him sit down to pee. And he AGREED to this. The guy even says that his best friend's girlfriend would open the bathroom door to make sure her boyfriend is sitting down whenever she hears him pee. Talk about passive-agressive. I mean, why not aim better? Or just CLEAN UP afterwards? OR, just tell her, hell no am I agreeing to that? I hope the guy who emailed that story was kidding, but geezus.

Southern_girl29 said:

"I don't need a judge to tell me that my daughter is beautiful. I already know it." It went right over her head.

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Judging for your avatar, she is beautiful. Good for you.

sassandgroove said:

My parents were co-pastors of a Parish of THREE Presbyterian Churches. THe churches had been joined in a Parish for many years before my parents came. It wasn't a new thing. I was visiting my parents and met a girl who said she went to my parents church. "Which one?" I asked, given that there were, you know, three. The girl looked befuddled and said "The Presbyterian one." *SIGH*

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This is probably terrible, but if that were me, I would have said, "Good. The people I meet who go to the Satanic one are always really dull."