My name is nicegrrl and I am a stressazoid

You're so young! Would it help you to de-stress if you gave yourself a time limit? Like, by the time you're thirty, you'll be a working author? Or go in books: if you don't sell a novel by the time you've written X many, you'll continue to enjoy writing as a hobby, but you'll get real about the money part of your life? That way, you can give yourself freedom now to pursue this goal without feeling like you might be wasting your time. We all deserve a chance. Take yours while you're young.

Although, I hardly see how someone with your passion can NOT succeed. We all have our own timetables. Your time will come.

nicegrrl said:

God, Im so stressed, depressed, anxious. I think its about writing. I really really want to make it as a novelist and it just depresses me to know that the chances of this happening are so slim.

What if I dont make it? What if I never figure out how to make it? It really upsets me. I just cant wait for the day that I get up and my career is writing the fiction that I choose to write.

Until then, here I am- stressed, depressed, upset about where I am in life. I wish to be in a different position. I wish I could learn to be happy without wanting to succeed in this extremely competitive difficult field. I mean, why couldnt I just be happy as an attorney or something? I could be an attorney. I have no doubts about that. But I doubt my ability to succeed in getting something published. I wish I could take a pill, feel happy. I just want to take some extacy and forget all of this, but its not like I could forget for very long.

Why cant this be like everything else? You have a set path, you stick to it- you take your courses, get your grades, get your internships, get the jobs? Writing fiction is like walking a tightrope in the dark.

I just wish I had a reason to believe that I am good at this and that my interest in fiction writing is worth pursuing seriously. You know? If I have to walk the tightrope in the dark, can't I have a little flashlight?

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Stressed, well, you sound like a writer. I have a dream background, well materially, but I gave it all up to follow my heart.

Secure job, financial stability or real challenges? It's a choice. Maybe you can find a good clairvoyant (there are many fakes). Real ones are like councillors, and they have an insight into your possible futures. A real one can you give you an overview of your limitations, reasons and motivations.

If you're religious, I hope I haven't offended you, but this is AW, Roundtable. Personally, I couldn't be considered religious or spiritual in the accepted sense, just an ordinary person who's been lucky enough to find good clairvoyants who have been useful and also, impartial councillors.

Oh, honey, we are all there at one time or another. Like, when the latest rejection letter comes in. Or the relative who is just trying to be supportive asks why it's taken so long and you still don't have an agent. Or the piece you were so excited about is ripped to shreds by critique, and you realize they are right. And on and on.

Just write, write, write. Write in any and all genres that appeal to you. There's all kinds of fiction. There's also all kinds of success. If this is your dream, then keep on working to achieve your dream. I can't speak for anyone else, but I have a full time job and write in the off hours (I am pretty sure a lot of us do). There are writing moms and dads who have lots of little ones at home, and the younger they are, the more time and attention they need (that said, my 16-year-old is, as I type this, trying not to whine for dinner and my attention, so in some ways, they always want your attention ). There are ALWAYS roadblocks, obtacles and moments of doubt. Just step around the roadblocks, jump over the obstacles, and push through the moments of doubt.

There is no such thing as luck. Perseverance is the key. It's the key to starting, finishing, improving. Keep on writing and your writing will improve. Finish your WIPs because you can only sell something that's done. Don't be afraid to edit, to try new things. And persevere through the submission and rejection stage -- it's a different length for all of us, but it's also equally as hard and frustrating. You aren't alone...we all, truly, know what you're going through.

I've been writing for 24 years, and I've never been legitimately published.

I say that so that you can know you're not alone in your anxiety about writing. It's a tough job to get into. All you can do is just keep plugging away, and improving your Craft so that you can eventually become a published writer.

One thing you might want to think about, Nicegrrl, is that you are doing your best with what you have. That is all that really matters at this point. If you get published, cool. If not, well, keep trying. Like another poster pointed out, your worth as a writer is dependent upon you, not other people. If you refuse to give up, then your worth as a writer will be more than if you do give up.