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KTC
12-04-2006, 10:43 PM
Come on. It was inevitable.

What are some of the stupid things you have heard fellow writers say? Please...name no names if you are referring to writers at AW. Writers, at least in my opinion, talk themselves into ever widening and narrowing circles when it comes to rejection, acceptance, and every other writing related issue. I think creativity is linked closely to our ability to value ourselves. ie...our self esteem, etc.

What overly negative or overly positive stupid thing have you heard writers saying? What absolutely wrong or bad advice have you heard writers give?

Let's not make this a freeforall...I mean this thread with the best of intentions.

Tiger
12-04-2006, 10:46 PM
"Fear not! I'm a writer"

C.bronco
12-04-2006, 10:46 PM
That's tough. I've said so many stupid things, even some that I'm not aware of. I'll have to think about this one...

Bubastes
12-04-2006, 10:51 PM
"I have a book published by Publish America, so I have lots of writing advice to share with you wannabes."

As far as stupid stuff I've said myself? Boy, where do I start? I love the taste of shoe leather.

TrainofThought
12-04-2006, 11:07 PM
:roll:

I need to put on my boxing gloves to answer this post. Instead, I will refrain from responding since I respect too many on this forum.

And yes, this is a stupid thing a writer says, they post without answering the thread.

scarletpeaches
12-04-2006, 11:12 PM
"I'm waiting for inspiration to strike. I have chores to do first."

*sigh* When will I learn you don't wait for the muse to visit? You go out to the street and drag her in, screaming, by the hair and chain her to the workstation.

And yes, mine has a name. I even know what she looks like.

Sassenach
12-04-2006, 11:14 PM
I get very tired of the dramatic, hyper-romanticized "I have to write...it's like breathing to me" comments.

WildScribe
12-04-2006, 11:16 PM
I once critiqued a woman's short story on an online critique group. Her main character was Gildo, and one of the other characters said "Gildo? What kind of a stupid name is that?"

She then proceeded to go on a two-page rant about how the strange name was part of the character and how ignorant and immature I was not to realize that, etc. etc. ad nauseum. My reply?

"I didn't say that, it was your dialogue." She never got back to me, but the REST of the critique group apologized for her.

Stew21
12-04-2006, 11:17 PM
My name is all over this thread.

"My characters become real to me. I wish I could meet them."
"They continually surprise me."
"I don't outline, it kills the creative flow for me."

I feel like a crackpot when I hear myself say these things. And yes, I have actually said some of them to non-writers which is even worse. I always have to add an aside, that I realize how insane it all sounds and thank them for not calling the whitecoats.

Haggis
12-04-2006, 11:20 PM
Actually, come to think of it, mostly everything I've ever said here is probably fitting for this thread. If the mods just want to move all of my writing related posts to this thread...that'll be so much easier than me attempting to do it all by myself. I bet you could find about 200 posts in the poetry forum alone! Everybody there must hate my guts by now?

Don't sell yourself short, Kevin. I'm sure folks in other threads hate you too.

scarletpeaches
12-04-2006, 11:37 PM
My characters ARE real.

The voices in my head tell me so.

MidnightMuse
12-04-2006, 11:38 PM
I get very tired of the dramatic, hyper-romanticized "I have to write...it's like breathing to me" comments.

This one's my biggest pet-peeve, silly comment from writers all around the globe.

Another version being: "If I couldn't write, I'd die." Or the one that makes my head spin: "I can't not write!"

nicegrrl
12-04-2006, 11:49 PM
I cant wait till I marry someone rich, so I can spend all my days writing.

-- nicegrrl.

How do you know what the genre lacks unless you've read every single book in it?

-- not nicegrrl

Dad, I want to be a novelist.

-- nicegrrl.

I tried to supplement my income from writing with acting jobs.

-- Candace Bushnell.

I love fiction writing. You can just make up anything

-- Ivana Trump.

Carrie in PA
12-05-2006, 12:01 AM
(Said with sneer): Oh, I don't write that sort of thing. I'm an artiste and wouldn't lower myself to write that sort of drivel.

Siddow
12-05-2006, 12:20 AM
"I got a personal rejection from Glimmer Train!!! She said my story was a good read! A good read! I'm going to break that market yet!"

Sigh. I didn't have the heart to tell her that they say the same thing to all the gals. And guys. And trolls.

Siddow
12-05-2006, 12:22 AM
Oh, I should add my own stupid thing.
At a conference:
Big-time agent says, "So what do you write? I mean, what genre?"
Me: "I don't know."
*smacks forehead*

engmajor2005
12-05-2006, 01:59 AM
I don't say stupid things, much less about writing. I say things that are misconstrued as stupid by non-writers, but in reality every word I say is genius. Pure genius.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have some singing to do.

The sky is blue, and all the leaves are green. The sun's as warm as a baked potato...

Cav Guy
12-05-2006, 02:06 AM
"I don't do genre. I write New Yorker-style fiction."

"You don't write so you can't understand me."

"Only a true poet/writer/artist can understand."

"I don't write for the readers! I only write for educated people."

I could go on...

Akuma
12-05-2006, 02:11 AM
Stupid Things.

Celia Cyanide
12-05-2006, 02:17 AM
"I don't outline, it kills the creative flow for me."

I don't think this is a dumb thing to say, in and of itself. I think it's dumb when people say that nobody should ever outline because it's better to discover your story as you go or something like that. Why is an outliner not discovering the story? You are making it up yourself, whether you know your whole story before or after you write it out.

I got another good one...in critique..."You just don't understand my writing because you haven't walked a mile in my shoes."

endless rewrite
12-05-2006, 02:25 AM
Big time meeting with big time production company/ script executive in London. The script I had been invited down to discuss had very recently been optioned by somebody else so she wanted to know what else I had (very little, I was very new and very dumb)

Her: (not quite word for word but almost) I want work that represents me and the way I live, that's why the company brought me in, to develop fresh, young, urban, hip, cool, cutting edge scripts- what have you got?

Me: (small silence) A drama about a knitting group in Southport.

Cue big silence. I recall the meeting ending sometime soon after I had managed to throw a cup of water over myself.

Jesus, that was a long train ride home back to the northern wastelands.

However, I did learn my lesson and spent a year developing a good range of pitches so I would never be stuck like that again with one unsuitable idea, now I have loads of crappy ideas! Plus I recycled the knitting idea for somewhere else.

aadams73
12-05-2006, 02:25 AM
"My book would make a really good movie!!"

"I don't have to do things the right way because I'll be the exception."

"I'm going to query by phone!"

"Ohhh my manuscript would look lovely on this pink paper."

"Oh, what I meant by that was..." (my absolute pet hate and most of the reason I don't do critiques. The writing has to stand on its own)

mooncars
12-05-2006, 02:30 AM
This one's my biggest pet-peeve, silly comment from writers all around the globe.

Another version being: "If I couldn't write, I'd die." Or the one that makes my head spin: "I can't not write!"

Agreed! I call this the utmost in pompous bullsh*t! If writing's all you're living for, then do me a favor and stop writing, if you catch my drift.

Lovingly,
Rick

Tiger
12-05-2006, 02:40 AM
"As a writer... [fill in the blank]"

-D

sassandgroove
12-05-2006, 02:45 AM
to paraphrase:

The editor is wrong. I will not make changes.

Ultra
12-05-2006, 02:47 AM
"I'm too busy with my own writing to read much other stuff."

"I don't see how reading anyone else's work can make me a better writer."

aadams73
12-05-2006, 03:04 AM
"I don't read all the crap that's on the shelves. My book is so much better than that."

"I don't like to read, but I'm writing a book."

Celia Cyanide
12-05-2006, 03:23 AM
"You can't judge my manuscript by a few pages. You have to read the whole thing."

Cat Scratch
12-05-2006, 03:26 AM
"I don't bother with rewrites. My first draft is always perfect."

Mind you, I've seen a number of these first drafts, and they're sprinkled with typos, if nothing else.

Funny, I most often hear this comment from people who have written twenty novels! But none of them published. (Hmmm...)

underthecity
12-05-2006, 03:45 AM
I'll get back to my WIP after I've checked every single forum on AW.

Twice.

Three times.

Has anyone responded to my brilliant posts? I'd better check.

Just one more time.

One more time.

One more time.

Has anyone left any rep points? I'd better check.

Has anyone responded to my posts yet?

I'd better check.

(How did I ever get a novel written?)

allen

icerose
12-05-2006, 04:34 AM
I think I belong at the top of a writer saying stupid things. My top one has to be a question though. Everyone, I'm sure, remembers "What's a golden shower?" comment from me. Yeah, that turned out well...

You'll find me in a generally clueless state.

WackAMole
12-05-2006, 04:35 AM
I think I belong at the top of a writer saying stupid things. My top one has to be a question though. Everyone, I'm sure, remembers "What's a golden shower?" comment from me. Yeah, that turned out well...

You'll find me in a generally clueless state.

LOL

I think its rather refreshing that you didnt know what that meant

aghast
12-05-2006, 05:37 AM
i am going to be on oprah

Sean D. Schaffer
12-05-2006, 05:51 AM
"I have a book published by Publish America, so I have lots of writing advice to share with you wannabes."



Drat! I was going to say that.

Seriously, if there were anything stupid that other writers have said to me, it would be something to the tune of, "What's a typewriter?"

Either that or, "Print your manuscript single-spaced on both sides of the submission. That way you save paper."

I think the one that really sticks out to me, though, is "don't always follow the submission requirements." Nothing says 'Stupid' quite like that, IMO.

poetinahat
12-05-2006, 05:54 AM
Actually, come to think of it, mostly everything I've ever said here is probably fitting for this thread. If the mods just want to move all of my writing related posts to this thread...that'll be so much easier than me attempting to do it all by myself. I bet you could find about 200 posts in the poetry forum alone! Everybody there must hate my guts by now?
Kevin, it's the 200 posts that *should* be in the Poetry Forum, but never got written, that we hate you for.

Get over here, ya big lug.

Linda Adams
12-05-2006, 05:54 AM
From several critiques sessions:

"If you make one punctuation mistake, the agent will reject it."

"Agents hate writerly words and will reject it." (said about a single word, which was 'edging')

"Why would anyone want to write for women?"

"Get rid of that fay humor!"

When told he was writing a fantasy book for a 1980's audience (in 2000's), "I hate today's fantasy."

Ol' Fashioned Girl
12-05-2006, 05:59 AM
Uh... writing IS like breathing... but if I couldn't write, I might go crazy, but I don't think I'd die. (Maybe it has to do with the difference between doing it for fun and doing it for money.)

Does that save me from being stupid?

Never mind. Don't answer that question.

aghast
12-05-2006, 06:08 AM
you have to use big words, college reading level if you want to be taken seriously as a writer

limitedtimeauthor
12-05-2006, 09:22 AM
I think I belong at the top of a writer saying stupid things. My top one has to be a question though. Everyone, I'm sure, remembers "What's a golden shower?" comment from me. Yeah, that turned out well...

You'll find me in a generally clueless state.
Uh oh. I feel a very stupid question coming on right now.



Okay, back to the topic at hand.

I've heard this so many times - in writing courses, books, and critique groups, etc. - always vehemently affirmed:

"If you aren't totally, completely, absolutely committed to this process (of writing, publishing, etc.) don't even start! Throw away your paper and pencils and go be an accountant or a lawyer or a doctor! I'm serious about this! If you're not going to give writing 100% don't even start!!! I mean it."

And I'm always like, really? So I can't write a little poetry now and then? If I just feel a little ditty coming on but am not totally committed stalking Paul McCartney until he agrees to take a look at it, I should bash my typing fingers with a hammer to squelch any possibility of me writing it down?

Huh? I respect that writing is not an easy business to break into, but really - I can't even do it for fun???

I could see this attitude with, say, a fireman. (fireman.@ssed) A soldier. Even a gymnast surely must totally commit to a difficult maneuver or they risk serious injury. But what's the worst that can come from a less-than-committed writer banging out a short story? Carpal tunnel?

And I agree wholeheartedly with Sass about the "I'd die if I couldn't write" thing. Wonderful to be so passionate about what you do, but this statement just seems to be a cover for arrogance to me.

Oh, and that's another one I'm sooo over! Writing doesn't make us more special than someone else. That one gets me angry. Sure, I appreciate the written word, but the guy who fixes drain pipes is pretty special too, especially when he's fixing yours. Get over yourself. (Not said to anyone in particular, of course, because no one here, at AW, would ever think that way! ;))

ltd.

J.S Greer
12-05-2006, 10:40 AM
My personal favorite:

"I write for me, not to please anyone else. If you dont get it, youre not that smart."

I get that on the myspace (I know, I know) forums all the time.

Who needs an audience right? :rant:

Joanna_S
12-05-2006, 11:52 AM
When I didn't like a comtemporary's work I was told that I was simply jealous. I hadn't realized that it was impossible to dislike really bad prose, a complete lack of conflict and well, some of the worst writing I'd ever read. Nope, I was simply jealous of this person (she didn't even realize the proper word was 'envious' instead of jealous. That distinction flew right over her head).

-- Joanna

J.S Greer
12-05-2006, 11:58 AM
Here's one taken from a group that im a part of. She was a PA author, that didnt take kindly to our bashing of PA.


Ya know, I was excited to be a part of the literary world, and I think myspace is a great tool for meeting people with your same interest...
I never said anything in my original post about buying my book, so that right there should have cued you all in on the fact that I might just happen to be a regular at some point...

and to answer your first question, NO, this was the very first time I had read anything like that about PA. And I did do research on my publisher, I even took my contract to a lawyer before signing it. I didnt believe this was going to make me a super star over night.

BUT, I have a bad taste in my mouth with this group... so, I have learned a lesson.

Thanks, but no thanks... I would rather talk writing in another group... but I looks like the "squirrel" is in them all, so I guess I will stay off myspace writing groups and find them else where.

I plan to use my contract to the best of its abilities.

She did her research, but found nothing bad about PA?

And im "The Squirrel." :snoopy:

Willowmound
12-05-2006, 01:18 PM
Here's something stupid I read recently: "If writing's all you're living for, then do me a favor and stop writing, if you catch my drift."

Pretty dumb, huh?

Linda Adams
12-05-2006, 03:31 PM
This jewel was said on a mailing list after I critted some basic writing mistakes in someone's piece:

"Well, I can't do that. I don't have a professional editor to help me get published like you."

sassandgroove
12-05-2006, 07:39 PM
I think I belong at the top of a writer saying stupid things. My top one has to be a question though. Everyone, I'm sure, remembers "What's a golden shower?" comment from me. Yeah, that turned out well...

You'll find me in a generally clueless state.I don't know what a golden shower is either.

limitedtimeauthor
12-05-2006, 07:42 PM
And I'm thinking we don't want to know.

ltd.

Celia Cyanide
12-05-2006, 08:24 PM
"If you aren't totally, completely, absolutely committed to this process (of writing, publishing, etc.) don't even start! Throw away your paper and pencils and go be an accountant or a lawyer or a doctor! I'm serious about this! If you're not going to give writing 100% don't even start!!! I mean it."

And I'm always like, really? So I can't write a little poetry now and then? If I just feel a little ditty coming on but am not totally committed stalking Paul McCartney until he agrees to take a look at it, I should bash my typing fingers with a hammer to squelch any possibility of me writing it down?

I can really get with you on that. If you aren't 100% committed to writing, then you shouldn't expect any level of success to come, except by accident. But people do not always write to be rich, or even published. And maybe they won't ever get very good at it, but who gives a crap? They're having fun, and they're not hurting anyone.

And I know people would say, "then why take a class, or try to learn how to do it better if you don't want to get published?" If you enjoy something, taking a class is fun. I've taken classes in drawing and painting and singing. Just because I don't want to make money at it doesn't mean I don't want to improve. For just about everything we do for fun, there is someone else who does it as a profession and takes it very seriously. They don't tell us not to do it at all.

I have another zinger, attributed to yours truly, "I can't critique or comment in the question you've asked, because I suck and my opinion is totally worthless."

scarletpeaches
12-05-2006, 08:26 PM
"I was offered representation by the first agent I contacted."

icerose
12-05-2006, 08:36 PM
No that discussion deteriorated pretty quickly and was deleted before I saw the answer, thankfully, but it wasn't my brightest moment that's for sure.

Hint: when an erotica publisher says a term you don't know, don't ask is the lesson I learned.

engmajor2005
12-05-2006, 09:23 PM
Here's a stupid thing writers say:

"I know I'm a good writer; I don't need other people's criticism."

Or writers who take every possible instance to remind you that they write, usually done by somebody who's not even discplined enough to churn out a decent two-page short. I know that I might sound like a writer that says stupid things here, but don't get me wrong: I fully respect those writers that write just for fun. But by God, don't like you're already a NY Times bestseller if all you have is "a few uncompleted projects sitting around."

You can ID these people by instances such as "[insert moderately amusing turn of phrase here]. Can you tell that I'm a writer?"

They hand you something to read and they say "It's REALLY good!"

maestrowork
12-05-2006, 09:34 PM
My word stays!

Sassenach
12-05-2006, 10:45 PM
When people go on and on about their "muse," I wanna slap them.

Kate Thornton
12-05-2006, 11:25 PM
When people go on and on about their "muse," I wanna slap them.

It can be an amusing affectation in some, but for the most part, I agree that it's generally puke-making.

sassandgroove
12-05-2006, 11:28 PM
ON the whole, "If I don't write I will die," thing.

Yeah, that is a bit (okay, very) dramatic, but I know when I don't write I get grumpy and down. BUt I don't DIE.

Celia Cyanide
12-06-2006, 12:28 AM
I don't mind the hyperbole so much as I mind the pretense that people who feel that they choose to write are not real writers.

maestrowork
12-06-2006, 12:29 AM
"I am an artist."

How about just writer. That covers more grounds.

underthecity
12-06-2006, 01:17 AM
Everyone will want to read my memoir. I've had such an interesting life, and at 75 pages, it'll be such a page turner!

allen

WildScribe
12-06-2006, 01:21 AM
(By a 19-year-old)

I'm starting my memior now so that I can publish it in ten years.


...a'buh?

Bartholomew
12-06-2006, 02:12 AM
Hmm...


[Anything in the TIO Board.]

Celia Cyanide
12-06-2006, 02:39 AM
Speaking of which....

"Why doesn't my post count increase?"

soloset
12-06-2006, 04:17 AM
"It's just a post (or IM or blog comment), geez. I can be as sloppy and incoherent as I want and you just have to slog through it. But my MS is really good, lol."

No biggie if it's typos in an otherwise thoughtful post. Horrid when it's one long stream of consciousness ramble that uses far too many pronouns and not enough antecedents. And I automatically knock fifty points of credibility off anyone who isn't at least using punctuation and capitals.

Nothing beats the "angry young man", though, for sheer hilarity.

"I could get published too if I wrote commercial crap for the sheeple!"

LeslieB
12-06-2006, 04:38 AM
"I am creating Literary ART and don't you forget it!"

For myself, the dumbest thing I've said was to mention my characters talking to me in front of my boss. He gave me the "I'm backing away slowly and trying not to make eye contact" look.

poetinahat
12-06-2006, 04:48 AM
Why Puddin' Pie, I do declare your heart is on yer sleeve this mornin'! Why dontcha put on the viddles and I'll be right by your neck a the woods. Just have to run to the sh*tter and see if'n I can make a little room in the nest for some a yourn good ole country cookin'!
:roll:

Aw hon, thad be fahn. I got some Possum Helper and I'm gonna make that stew we had at th'weddin. And we'll have knives AND forks, just like city folk.

SherryTex
12-06-2006, 04:58 AM
Stupid things writers say, "You just don't understand what this piece was about. I spent a year on this work."

underthecity
12-06-2006, 05:22 AM
"You just don't understand what this piece was about."

I knew this guy in college who asked me to give my opinion on an article he wrote for the college newspaper. I read it. It was really long, overly wordy to the point of "hey, look how brilliant I am with my wordiness" attitude. It could have been half the length and still retained whatever meaning he was trying to impart. Besides that, I just didn't think it was good. Awful, really.

So, I told him what I thought and the reasons. He asked me, didn't he? Needless to say, he exploded. "What! I can't believe you didn't like it! Everyone else I showed it to liked it!" and on and on. IOW, I was an idiot because I didn't understand it.

Later, a guy I knew who worked at the newspaper told me that their faculty advisor "graded" each issue of the paper. That issue received a lower grade because of that article.

He later wrote more of those long, laborious pieces, but I just skipped them.

allen

Willowmound
12-06-2006, 06:01 AM
I don't know what a golden shower is either.

Urine.

Sex.

Now you know.

greglondon
12-06-2006, 06:14 AM
writer's outline: "at the end of chapter 12, the backstory has been established, and now the story can begin

I may be exaggerating a bit. But it was something like that.

Sean D. Schaffer
12-06-2006, 06:55 AM
"They only rejected your work because they don't understand your artistic vision."

maestrowork
12-06-2006, 07:48 AM
I have an idea no one else has...

Cat Scratch
12-06-2006, 08:57 AM
...and I bet it will make me a million dollars.

JennaGlatzer
12-06-2006, 09:06 AM
...so why don't you write it and we'll split the profit?

Cat Scratch
12-06-2006, 09:08 AM
Oh, and I recently got an e-mail from an old friend stating he was getting together a book proposal to send to agents for his (unfinished) novel. Since he didn't ask for advice, I gave him only enthusiasm (Good for you for going for it!) and felt a little as if I were sending the lad off to war. But who wants to be a know-it-all? (I have that tendency, which is why I held my tongue--would like to maintain the friends I have left, thank you.)

JennaGlatzer
12-06-2006, 09:13 AM
My real favorite (variations of this have appeared in my inbox at least 7 or 8 times):

"I know you say that this agent has charged upfront fees, referred people to a paid editorial service, been convicted of fraud, changed names six times, and skipped the country after being charged with several counts of eating babies, but that was three months ago. Is there anything recent about this agency? They requested my manuscript."

Tiger
12-06-2006, 09:16 AM
Oh, and I recently got an e-mail from an old friend stating he was getting together a book proposal to send to agents for his (unfinished) novel. Since he didn't ask for advice, I gave him only enthusiasm (Good for you for going for it!) and felt a little as if I were sending the lad off to war. But who wants to be a know-it-all? (I have that tendency, which is why I held my tongue--would like to maintain the friends I have left, thank you.)

Ah. I've run into that same situation countless times. Now, here's what you should do....

Cat Scratch
12-06-2006, 09:19 AM
My real favorite (variations of this have appeared in my inbox at least 7 or 8 times):

"I know you say that this agent has charged upfront fees, referred people to a paid editorial service, been convicted of fraud, changed names six times, and skipped the country after being charged with several counts of eating babies, but that was three months ago. Is there anything recent about this agency? They requested my manuscript."

P.S. They weren't CUTE babies or anything, were they? Like orphans or something?

nicegrrl
12-06-2006, 02:45 PM
new stupid writer statement:

I'm going to make a living by starting a fraudulent literary agency and I will charge reading fees for nothing. I will use this money to support my writing career.

-- nicegrrl (who is kidding...you hope!)

Jesus, if Dan Brown can do it...

-- nicegrrl (but that's a totally logical sentiment!)

aadams73
12-06-2006, 03:02 PM
"I queried this agent and now they want my full....does anyone know anything about them????"

(Don't. Query. Agents. You. Haven't. Researched.)
(Seriously.)

FergieC
12-06-2006, 04:40 PM
If you aren't 100% committed to writing, then you shouldn't expect any level of success to come, except by accident.

I hate this statement, because it’s meaningless. What does 100% committed to writing mean, exactly? That you do nothing but write? That you study literature, then spend the next few years cooped up and starving in a garret writing the next great novel and you live your life based entirely around writing?

You do need commitment and discipline, and probably an element of obsession to get anywhere with writing, but I get really hacked off by writing tutors who say you have to give 100% to writing, especially when they give that advice to very young writers. Writing comes from living – where else can it come from? Surely it’s better for your writing to do tonnes of crappy jobs, travel, sample every drink in the bar and get yourself into some trouble in your 20s than to sit alone in a writer’s garret pondering the meaning of life?

SherryTex
12-06-2006, 06:29 PM
Stupid things Writers say..."Someday I'll write the next Great American Novel, play, screen play, etc." and you ask, "What are you working on right now?" and they say, "Oh, nothing at the moment." --I say this because I have a relative who has an excellent sense of timing and fine skills at dialogue and I have begged him to write more and submit and he talks often of writing and of making it big, but never submits anything anywhere --it drives me crazy.

He then talks to me about how I'm getting published, like somebody gave it to me and that I somehow have it easy because he works. (He's a bachellor and well, I could punch him but I won't). Hope he starts submitting some day, I'd love to see his stuff in print.

Celia Cyanide
12-06-2006, 07:29 PM
"I give up! I got rejected six times!"

Del
12-06-2006, 08:39 PM
Surely it’s better for your writing to do tonnes of crappy jobs, travel, sample every drink in the bar and get yourself into some trouble in your 20s ...

Have you been following me?

pepperlandgirl
12-06-2006, 09:23 PM
"You're interogating the text from the wrong perspective." --Anne Rice

WildScribe
12-06-2006, 09:32 PM
"What do you mean this scene is confusing? It makes perfect sense because... blahblahblahblah...."

ARGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Tracy
12-06-2006, 09:52 PM
I got a new agent for my breakthrough novel, and was heard to say, several times, to DH, "But that's okay, because by Christmas she'll have sold my novel for at least ten grand, and we'll be able to go on holidays/pay off the credit card/put the deposit on the new house."

To quote the late great Douglas Adams: "Nothing happened. Suddenly, nothing continued to happen".

So my silliness was to count chickens before the eggs were even laid, never mind hatched.

Mind you, it's not Christmas yet. Could still happen ...

maestrowork
12-06-2006, 09:56 PM
Speaking of counting chickens before there are eggs. Guilty!

nicegrrl
12-06-2006, 10:01 PM
I dont like that genre. You should write in a different one.

-- some writer on this board on my story

WildScribe
12-06-2006, 10:15 PM
pfffft! That was funny.

I always do a first draft in pen so that... whoops! (as she drops something like 500 looseleaf, unnumbered pages. Yea... whoops.)

underthecity
12-07-2006, 01:04 AM
Where's my manuscript? It WAS on the computer . . . . I can't find it! Oh, how I wish I had backed up the 120,000 pages.

(this did not happen to me, but it very well could)

allen

Del
12-07-2006, 01:45 AM
<--------- is backed up redundantly.

WildScribe
12-07-2006, 02:08 AM
<------------has one backup... somewhere.

"I don't need a backup."
-Me

J.S Greer
12-07-2006, 08:52 AM
"What do you mean this scene is confusing? It makes perfect sense because... blahblahblahblah...."

ARGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Good lord I want to scream out loud whenever someone tells me "You jsut dont get it." :rant:

The other day I had someone tell me that she felt sorry for me because my brain wasnt big enough to comprehend what was so obvious. That sentence alone kills her credbility.

WildScribe
12-07-2006, 08:53 AM
Must.... stop.... laughing! :roll:

Del
12-07-2006, 07:21 PM
Good lord I want to scream out loud whenever someone tells me "You jsut dont get it." :rant:

The other day I had someone tell me that she felt sorry for me because my brain wasnt big enough to comprehend what was so obvious. That sentence alone kills her credbility.

Isn't this a no brainer? If you are writing for a mass market and ANYONE doesn't get it then you have not written it plainly enough. If someone tells me they don't get it I try to rewrite with more clarity...providing they have made it clear what isn't clear. :)

maestrowork
12-07-2006, 07:27 PM
My novel is so rich and layered with symbolism. Only idiots can't see it.

scarletpeaches
12-07-2006, 07:37 PM
"The events described in my book are entirely fictional and any resemblance to persons living or dead is just a coincidence. Honest."

maestrowork
12-07-2006, 07:40 PM
If I keep on submitting, it will get brought out of the slushpile soon.

scarletpeaches
12-07-2006, 07:42 PM
If Dan Brown can get away with writing shit, why should I try any harder?

maestrowork
12-07-2006, 08:06 PM
I can write better than [famous, best-selling author]. I too can be a millionaire like him/her.

Bubastes
12-07-2006, 08:09 PM
I can write better than [famous, best-selling author]. I too can be a millionaire like him/her.

Heck, I hear this from non-writers too.

Sean D. Schaffer
12-07-2006, 08:54 PM
"I am a serious writer."

-- Myself, about two months ago. I have regretted typing those words ever since.

Kate Thornton
12-07-2006, 09:02 PM
"I am a serious writer."

-- Myself, about two months ago. I have regretted typing those words ever since.

I used to be a serious writer - now I try to inject fun in everything...

I *did* hear a writer say this to me last week, though: "If I'm enjoying it, I know I'm not really writing, because the creative process should be difficult."

Huh? Firstly, I hate hearing about the "creative process" whatever that is. Secondly, you should strive for everything in your life to have some fun in it. Some things (health, etc.) you can't control the fun, but others you can. If it ain't fun, do something else.

maestrowork
12-07-2006, 09:31 PM
JK Rowling is a hack, and she uses way too many adverbs.

scarletpeaches
12-07-2006, 09:32 PM
"I've just had a bath, and once I've finished this bowl of pea and ham soup, I've got to go out, so I can't do any writing this evening."

Oh, wait...

aadams73
12-07-2006, 09:43 PM
"i want to rite a book but i hav no idea what too rite about. Sum1 give me some ideas plz!!!!! TIA!! okthxbye!!

Higgins
12-07-2006, 09:57 PM
Big time meeting with big time production company/ script executive in London. The script I had been invited down to discuss had very recently been optioned by somebody else so she wanted to know what else I had (very little, I was very new and very dumb)

Her: (not quite word for word but almost) I want work that represents me and the way I live, that's why the company brought me in, to develop fresh, young, urban, hip, cool, cutting edge scripts- what have you got?

Me: (small silence) A drama about a knitting group in Southport.

Cue big silence. I recall the meeting ending sometime soon after I had managed to throw a cup of water over myself.

Jesus, that was a long train ride home back to the northern wastelands.

However, I did learn my lesson and spent a year developing a good range of pitches so I would never be stuck like that again with one unsuitable idea, now I have loads of crappy ideas! Plus I recycled the knitting idea for somewhere else.

Yeah, I think I have talked myself right out of things under vaguely similar circumstances. Especially in NYC after other people have built me up as a very funny guy with a quirky view of things and I'm feeling slightly too drunk and I just say, you know, I'm not all that funny and/or hip or urban or urbane or cool or fresh or young...actually I don't know why I would have to point these things out...at least I didn't say what was actually about to come out out of my mouth which was probably something like "I just don't care about the whole realm of quirky cool stuff! If I did I would be just like you, running around vainly trying to find somebody who has anything at all to say about quirky, cool things other than that they are, indeed, surprise, surprise, quirky and cool."

Higgins
12-07-2006, 10:18 PM
I used to be a serious writer - now I try to inject fun in everything...

I *did* hear a writer say this to me last week, though: "If I'm enjoying it, I know I'm not really writing, because the creative process should be difficult."

Huh? Firstly, I hate hearing about the "creative process" whatever that is. Secondly, you should strive for everything in your life to have some fun in it. Some things (health, etc.) you can't control the fun, but others you can. If it ain't fun, do something else.

Yeah, I agree. If I ever had a creative process or two, I'm sure I killed the last one and ate it in my dreams. No more. All gone. The last one perished on the last bit of Tundra left in my brain's craton-sized subpantry. Just the thought of a creative process becoming extinct in my subconscious puts me in a very good, bad mood...so I don't know what to think....how's that for a bit of writery stupidity?

Higgins
12-07-2006, 10:22 PM
No that discussion deteriorated pretty quickly and was deleted before I saw the answer, thankfully, but it wasn't my brightest moment that's for sure.

Hint: when an erotica publisher says a term you don't know, don't ask is the lesson I learned.

Hint: if strangling yourself while drinking tea doesn't increase your pleasure, try not strangling yourself and see if that doesn't at least make tea drinking easier. Hey, that's sort of Zen by default.

SomethingCatchy
12-07-2006, 10:23 PM
JK Rowling is a heck, and she uses way too many adverbs.

Guilty. Well, I said she uses too many adverbs, I don't think she's a hack. Good idea, average execution in my opinion.

I had another writer tell me that I should use "bigger words, so that not everybody could understand what I was trying to say." - this was one of those people who believed only geniuses should understand what you're writing, and anything that is universally understandable was the product of a hack writer.

"I'm waiting for my muse/more time/to have the house to myself." - I don't think a 'muse' exists - I don't recall someone else fluttering into my room and giving me ideas. I do remember letting my mind wander or hearing a piece of a song/conversation and getting a great idea though.

On the time issue - almost everyone wishes they could have more time. You get the same 24 hours the rest of us get. There's always something you can cut out, even if it's that extra hour of sleep.

"You just don't get it." - Hate that one. If one of your beta's doesn't get it - it's because you've left something out. You asked me to read it, don't go insulting my intelligence after I did you a favour.

Stupid things I've said:

"I can't write with you in the same room as me." - and I can't. I don't know why, but if any person is in the room with me I can't write.

"All work and no play makes Johnny a dull boy." - from one of my favourite movies, I couldn't think of which idea to write about, so I started to repeat the line over and over outloud, not really aware I was doing it. Bad time for the girlfriend to walk in the room. On the plus side, she's never around when I write anymore.

"I can't sleep if I don't write." - true for me to an extent. If I stop, the first two weeks after I have trouble going to sleep, I think it's because I've made my brain work on thinking up stories and ideas, and if I'm not writing I have nowhere to put them. They go away after a while though.

Sean D. Schaffer
12-07-2006, 10:28 PM
"Use the grammar checker on your word-processor. It's wrong most of the time, but it'll really help you out."

...and...

"I'm not going to waste your time showing you what you did wrong in this piece, but it really needs a lot of work."

nicegrrl
12-07-2006, 10:39 PM
Personally, I find the Harry Potter series unreadable due to the juvenile nature. I dont know how so many grown people read them.

maestrowork
12-07-2006, 11:08 PM
Headhopping is fine because you can tell everyone's story and what they're thinking at the same time.

PeeDee
12-07-2006, 11:15 PM
I am a genius, and you writers and the publishers are out to get me and keep my work out of the hands of my audience, because you don't want me to be successful and steal your glory.


(edited to add: Oh my god, when did we stop getting asterisks in the middle of our swear words. was it always like that, and I just didn't notice? It ruins the comedic effect with the full words in. Sorry for the vulgarity, now.)

Sean D. Schaffer
12-07-2006, 11:20 PM
PeeDee,


Mac had the asterisks removed for the sake of the new Erotica SYW forum. I was a bit surprised myself when I saw the lack of asterisks throughout the entire board.

I don't think this is what Mac intended when she took the filters out of the one forum.

sassandgroove
12-07-2006, 11:33 PM
Peedeee you could add the asteriks manually. :D

WildScribe
12-07-2006, 11:40 PM
Personally, I find the Harry Potter series unreadable due to the juvenile nature. I dont know how so many grown people read them.

I got through the first two before I gave up. The movies were great though.

"I just have to get this novel written. Then someone will pick up the movie rights and I'll make millions and retire."

It would have been funny if she was kidding.

PeeDee
12-08-2006, 12:11 AM
Peedeee you could add the asteriks manually. :D

I just cleaned it up instead. My intention was to be funny, not obscene. :)

WildScribe
12-08-2006, 12:12 AM
Delarege, you could ask...

underthecity
12-08-2006, 12:40 AM
Stupid things continued:

My book is so great, it'll get picked up by an agency and/or publisher immediately. Immediately!

(I'm no longer thinking this way after sixty-some rejections, the latest being today's.)

allen

Sassenach
12-08-2006, 12:52 AM
Stupid things I've said:

"I can't write with you in the same room as me." - and I can't. I don't know why, but if any person is in the room with me I can't write.



That's why it's an advantage to work on a magazine or newspaper. It teaches one to write with people around, noise, etc. And frequent deadlines, of course.

soloset
12-08-2006, 12:56 AM
Personally, I find the Harry Potter series unreadable due to the juvenile nature. I dont know how so many grown people read them.

They're accessible. People who would never dream of reading something with a gaudy Sweet cover are perfectly comfortable with them despite the "fantasy" label. And most I've run into see no conflict in saying "I don't read fantasy" followed by "did you read the latest Harry Potter?"

nicegrrl
12-08-2006, 01:06 AM
The genre is fine, but I cant read books with completely flat characters. You know- good guys and bad guys. The good guys dont undergo any real character development either. And Harry is a little much. Poor orphaned darling with those vicious guardians that ends up being a golden child that can do no wrong. That's not something that I, as a real person, can identify with.

WildScribe
12-08-2006, 01:08 AM
Nicegrrl, you crack me up in a very good way. Now stop it so I can get some work done!

(I guess that would have to be attributed to me...)

scarletpeaches
12-08-2006, 04:59 PM
Hey dude! This is like, my 2000th post and I totally felt like I should come to your cool thread and like, say something important. So here it is, man. 2k. Take it to the bank. In your face!

Willowmound
12-08-2006, 05:35 PM
Dudette!

Dooda?

scarletpeaches
12-08-2006, 05:55 PM
Just call me hermaphrodude.

K1P1
12-08-2006, 06:06 PM
Dooda?

As in "Zip a dee dooda"?

[n.b. British punctuation intentional]

Sean D. Schaffer
12-08-2006, 06:18 PM
"genre fiction is and remains this unreadable pulp created by accountants to simplify marketing, they aren't books, they're comics with more words." -- spoken as fact, not as opinion.

MajorDrums
12-08-2006, 06:21 PM
"Genre books are all unreadable." -- spoken as fact, not as opinion.

Heh heh. I saw that, too.

J. Weiland
12-08-2006, 06:52 PM
Personally, I find the Harry Potter series unreadable due to the juvenile nature. I dont know how so many grown people read them.

We have lived overprotected lives, and are therefore still innocents in some sense. My humble opinion anyway. Or maybe we just like entertaining literature.

endless rewrite
12-08-2006, 07:05 PM
This thread has made me think of the many stupid things I have done or said and that's just as a writer. Things that still make me feel a bit sick and flushed. In this situation I managed to have my stupidity recorded and played back to me.


By some fluke I managed to get invited onto an all expenses paid trip to Russia, I believe somebody else pulled out. This event involved three other writers among others and a BBC radio producer who was making a documentary about writers and writing in modern Russia. This programme was eventually aired on national radio and was repeated as pick of the week, generating a total listening audience of over half a million.

Here was a real chance to shine, to promote myself, to demonstrate my creative intellect. The programme’s input from the other writers included them at well received readings of their work, developing new poems and waxing lyrical about the Trans Siberian Railway, the frozen tundra, the political situation, Lenin’s golden statue and the heartbreak of the Gulag etc. My input which made the final edit consisted of:

a) Me mispronouncing the name of the city I was in the three times I mentioned it, then cackling like a half wit.
b) Being recorded as I was thrown out of a Siberian supermarket by an armed guard whilst attempting to buy/discuss an Osama Bin Laden jigsaw, ‘Who is Victor?’ (who indeed?) in the toy section.
c) My final included insightful comment about modern Russia was this moronic gem: “I've noticed that like even though the pavements are dead icy and full of holes, all the Russian women are wearing really high heels... (PAUSE) I can’t stand up in my boots.”


Though it greatly amused friends and family, I could barely bring myself to listen to it. It was like they took along their own village idiot. I blame the vodka.

PeeDee
12-08-2006, 08:30 PM
"We are doing a documentary on Russian writers. Quick, fly some writers to russia!"

:D

(I realize that's probably not how it actually was, but it's funny)

endless rewrite
12-08-2006, 08:54 PM
Ha, it was an odd project. For some reason the Russian writers were flown here and had a reading of their very long poems about magic porridge and jousting cats. I'm not sure what the point of any of it was.

WerenCole
12-08-2006, 09:13 PM
When people go on and on about their "muse," I wanna slap them.


But my dog loves me!

WerenCole
12-08-2006, 09:20 PM
Stupid things this writer has said/done:

"I write better stoned/drunk" (me a couple of years ago) The worst part about this is re-reading your crap.


"I don't care what the hell you think. . . have you ever even read Nietzsche?"


"I don't like to write poetry. . . I do not have the patience for it." (I wrote four poems last night. . . addendum: I do not like to Edit poetry, to edit my own personal cartharsis seems a touch silly)


"If I story board my novel, maybe somebody will want to make it into a movie." (I can't draw)

"I am not the writer in the family, I channel my dogs thoughts and take all the credit." (This is true, by the way)

"What would Freud say?"

nicegrrl
12-08-2006, 10:38 PM
Nicegrrl, you crack me up in a very good way. Now stop it so I can get some work done!


Writing? What's that?

I seriously should quit this board.

Celia Cyanide
12-08-2006, 11:02 PM
I seriously should quit this board.

Yeah, that's a great one! One of the dumbest things a writer can say! ;)

maestrowork
12-09-2006, 02:55 AM
Yeah, that's a great one! One of the dumbest things a writer can say! ;)

;)

Glad you're back.

icerose
12-09-2006, 03:27 AM
Hint: if strangling yourself while drinking tea doesn't increase your pleasure, try not strangling yourself and see if that doesn't at least make tea drinking easier. Hey, that's sort of Zen by default.

Umm...?

TrickyFiction
12-09-2006, 03:32 AM
"What's the point if no one will ever read it?" Practice practice practice.

Me to myself: "They're all going to laugh at you."

Cat Scratch
12-10-2006, 01:21 AM
While I don't consider this type of comment stupid, per se, it always irks me a little when I hear a writer proclaim "I can't write without a ___________!" (Special pencil, half-empty gin-and-tonic, specific chair, a pair of toenail clippers to my left, etc.) I understand writers with quirks (and I sure have my share) but:
1.) these are ultimately the excuses people give for NOT writing when sometimes the best thing to do is just power through
and
2.) you're in a lot of trouble if you believe your creative genius depends on a certain type of pencil.

ChaosTitan
12-10-2006, 01:38 AM
Me to myself: "They're all going to laugh at you."

Anyone else hear this in Piper Laurie's voice from Carrie? :tongue

Sean D. Schaffer
12-10-2006, 02:44 AM
"If I like my writing, everyone else will too." -- a Paraphrase.

Higgins
12-13-2006, 07:48 PM
While I don't consider this type of comment stupid, per se, it always irks me a little when I hear a writer proclaim "I can't write without a ___________!" (Special pencil, half-empty gin-and-tonic, specific chair, a pair of toenail clippers to my left, etc.) I understand writers with quirks (and I sure have my share) but:
1.) these are ultimately the excuses people give for NOT writing when sometimes the best thing to do is just power through
and
2.) you're in a lot of trouble if you believe your creative genius depends on a certain type of pencil.

Didn't some writerly genius say he could only write with a certain pencil? Or is that fast becoming pure urban legend?

PeeDee
12-13-2006, 07:49 PM
John Steinback had a preference for a type of black pencil (I forget which one) but I bet he could have written without it just fine.

Maryn
12-13-2006, 09:33 PM
"Yeah, they rejected me, but I changed the protagonist's name from Barry to Larry and used the subtitle as the main title. This time they'll buy it."

Right, like there's no record-keeping whatsoever.

Maryn, who did not know how to respond

CaitlinK18
12-14-2006, 12:44 AM
Said to me:

"I write literary fiction, and you write genre fiction, so if you stick around you might actually learn something from me."

Said by me:

"This book needs more elves."

ChunkyC
12-14-2006, 05:26 AM
Me, to myself a few years ago....

"Hmm ... Absolute Write Water Cooler ... I wonder what that site is all about...."

LeslieB
12-14-2006, 05:46 AM
Said by me:

"This book needs more elves."

That reminds me of my husband. When he finds a movie boring, his standard comment is, "Needs ninjas."

KTC
09-17-2007, 10:21 PM
I felt a need to pull this one up from the depths...

KTC
09-17-2007, 10:23 PM
Don't sell yourself short, Kevin. I'm sure folks in other threads hate you too.


haggis...if you weren't right then, you are by now.

Giant Baby
09-17-2007, 10:30 PM
"Let's get drunk and blog!"
-by Giant Baby, former blogger.
(sorry, mom)

Tiger
09-18-2007, 12:12 AM
That reminds me of my husband. When he finds a movie boring, his standard comment is, "Needs ninjas."

"Too much violence; not enough sex..."

Celia Cyanide
09-18-2007, 12:26 AM
That reminds me of my husband. When he finds a movie boring, his standard comment is, "Needs ninjas."

:Shrug: What? It does...

BenPanced
09-18-2007, 12:38 AM
That reminds me of my husband. When he finds a movie boring, his standard comment is, "Needs ninjas."
I prefer a musical number.

"One more rewrite and I'll be ready to draft the query!"

MidnightMuse
09-18-2007, 12:46 AM
"The novel was the hard part, this query should be a breeze."

Writer14
09-18-2007, 02:14 AM
"I hate when people procrastinate.... I'll type more later...or tomorrow...or something."

KTC
09-18-2007, 02:25 AM
"The novel was the hard part, this query should be a breeze."


AMEN!

Tiger
09-18-2007, 02:36 AM
Has anyone mentioned: "I don't look at writing as work because that cramps my style. Just relax and go with the flow."

BenPanced
09-18-2007, 04:56 AM
"But...but...it's the Animaniacs DVD box set! Volume 2! FOUR DISKS!"

sassandgroove
09-18-2007, 05:06 AM
"But...but...it's the Animaniacs DVD box set! Volume 2! FOUR DISKS!"
I'm with you on that one man!

LeslieB
09-18-2007, 05:18 AM
:Shrug: What? It does...

That phrase actually helped me with a scene in my WIP. My betas had told me it was boring, and I said, "Well, I can't very well have a ninja drop into the scene... hey, that gives me an idea." Still no ninjas, but a corpse always jazzes things up.

Thump
09-18-2007, 05:54 AM
"Man! I can't compete with [insert published author's name here]! This is pointless!"

I admit I've been guilty of this one several times.

It's a good thing I never take myself seriously X-D Still writing... how misguided of me. As if I could compete with...

badducky
09-18-2007, 06:14 AM
I refuse to participate in this thread because I don't have the ability to say stupid things. Not ever.





No, that doesn't count as a stupid thing a writer said.

CheshireCat
09-18-2007, 07:10 AM
I'm with the bad duck.

BenPanced
09-18-2007, 08:22 AM
"I just have to check my email. And my Yahoo! mail. And my Yahoo!360 page. And my LiveJournal. And AW. And my Flickr groups. And look up those London Underground stops I need. I'll only be five minutes!"

Ah, I kill me sometimes...

KiraOnWhite
09-22-2007, 04:05 AM
" There's nothing to write about!"

MonaLeigh
09-22-2007, 04:11 AM
If I start a story and don't finish it, I think my characters are hanging around somewhere waiting for me to finish their life. :Shrug:

Cranky
09-22-2007, 11:52 PM
"I give up."

or

"I'll never give up."

Depends. :)

Shadow_Ferret
09-23-2007, 12:04 AM
Stupid things writers have said:

I'm going to be rich and famous by the time I'm 20.

I'm going to be rich and famous by the time I'm 25.

I'm going to be rich and famous by the time I'm 30.

I'm going to be rich and famous by the time I'm 35.

I'm going to be rich and famous by the time I'm 40.

I'm going to be rich and famous by the time I'm 45.

I'm going to be rich and famous by the time I'm 50.

Next stop, 55.

(Guess the writer.)

scarletpeaches
09-23-2007, 12:05 AM
Me?

desertcomet
09-23-2007, 04:29 AM
"That's what editors are for." (although in her defense she was completely new to writing)

"It was my mom's idea."

And anything to do with a muse or writing being a life or death thing.

Shadow_Ferret
09-23-2007, 08:50 AM
Me?Didn't think you were that old yet, peaches.

OmenSpirits.com
09-29-2007, 02:48 AM
"Does anyone know where to find information on (insert subject it would take less than ten minutes for them to look up)."

I. HATE. THAT!

Look the info up online in a search engine like the people you're asking for christ sake!

Oh, it's easier to use someone one a forum who's looked it up already to save you the trouble of maybe learning something more beyond what the person on the forum THUS, adding to the information you know.

WOW, how too damn difficult.

Chicken Warrior
09-29-2007, 03:14 AM
"I've quit my day job to write." :D

laurenem6
10-08-2007, 07:20 PM
This writer was talking about publishing their short stories in an anthology when they had written enough.

Me: How are you going to get an anthology published as an unpublished author?
Them: Oh, I'm going to submit them to magazines first.
Me: If you submit them to magazines, the magazines are going to have the rights.
Them: I'll just negotiate with the magazine so I get to keep the rights for less money.

Right, it always works like that.

maestrowork
10-08-2007, 07:39 PM
"Can't change a single word I wrote. The manuscript is perfect."

KTC
10-08-2007, 07:42 PM
Heard you on that one!

"I know what you're trying to say, but I think it's perfect the way it is. Thanks for offering your advice though."

I loved that one. Of course, that is not word for word...but a writer asked me to read their piece and offer advice, and then ignored the advice that would have improved their work.

maestrowork
10-08-2007, 07:43 PM
I loved that one. Of course, that is not word for word...but a writer asked me to read their piece and offer advice, and then ignored the advice that would have improved their work.

FTR, I incorporated 98% of your suggestions before sending MOTHER out.

KTC
10-08-2007, 07:45 PM
lol. It wasn't you I was referring to. And just so you know...that was a beautiful story. It's still with me.

Bubastes
10-08-2007, 07:46 PM
Which is more important, talent or hard work?

KTC
10-08-2007, 07:48 PM
Which is more important, talent or hard work?

You're in the wrong thread, sweetie darling. You're looking for born with the talent. third door on your left.

Jaycinth
10-10-2007, 12:08 AM
"Ohhh my manuscript would look lovely on this pink paper."



Now this is a version of what stupid non-writers say to me. Or one non-writer in particular.

She really...REALLY is convinced that once I start submitting my work on that 'pretty border paper you can get at the craft stores', I will make a sale.

(Forget about the icky border and look at the simple finances Uh...400 sheets at 10cents each ($40.00) as opposed to $3.89 for 500. Agreat big 'DUH' with a pimply 'moon' in the middle...)

Oh as for me...
Every time I open my silly mouth.

Shadow_Ferret
10-10-2007, 12:15 AM
What to read a whole slew of stupid things writers say?

Click on Shadow_Ferret, go down the menu until you get to "Fine More Posts by Shadow_Ferret"

Then enjoy.

Monkey
10-10-2007, 12:43 AM
"Give me an hour".

Usually said to my husband, in hopes that he will once again be fooled into watching the children for several hours while I write.

It's stupid because he and I both know better.

It's still cool, though, 'cause sometimes it works. I love my husband...
:D

Emily Winslow
12-13-2007, 03:28 PM
Okay, this post was from a while back, but I so recognize my younger self.

Way back nine years ago, when I was newlywed writing on my little all-in-one b&w macintosh, I too said I "didn't need backup."

Then one day I popped my floppy disk into the drive and... nothing.

I phoned my husband at work, to ask what I should do. Maybe he could walk me through some recovery process. Instead he said, "I'll be home in twenty minutes."

And he was...with, in his arms, a Mac he'd borrowed from work, on which to test my floppy. We tested it--it was indeed dead.

So he took the rest of the day off work, to *retype my entire manuscript* back in, as I read it aloud from my most recent printout.

I no longer say "I don't need backup"!!!

(But I often say "I love you, sweetie!")


<------------has one backup... somewhere.

"I don't need a backup."
-Me

Emily Winslow
12-13-2007, 03:29 PM
My gosh, that is hilarious.



a) Me mispronouncing the name of the city I was in the three times I mentioned it, then cackling like a half wit.
b) Being recorded as I was thrown out of a Siberian supermarket by an armed guard whilst attempting to buy/discuss an Osama Bin Laden jigsaw, ‘Who is Victor?’ (who indeed?) in the toy section.
c) My final included insightful comment about modern Russia was this moronic gem: “I've noticed that like even though the pavements are dead icy and full of holes, all the Russian women are wearing really high heels... (PAUSE) I can’t stand up in my boots.”


Though it greatly amused friends and family, I could barely bring myself to listen to it. It was like they took along their own village idiot. I blame the vodka.

Tony_LaRocca
12-16-2007, 08:27 AM
All kinds of self-depreciating crap. So easy to tell myself it's all no good.

KTC
12-16-2007, 08:29 AM
I'm just gonna procrastinate for a few minutes. Just a few.

Tiger
12-17-2007, 10:25 PM
"I DON'T NEED THE DAMNED RECORDER!!"

Jersey Chick
12-17-2007, 10:48 PM
"Let me just check my email. Shouldn't take more than a minute or two."

Uh-huh

josephwise
12-17-2007, 11:54 PM
Fun! Okay, let's see.

"I just take a few characters, lock them in a room together, and watch what happens."

"It worked for Jo Rowling. Steve King has pulled it off a few times as well, and talks about it in On Writing."

"Help! My characters are forcing me to write a completely different novel than I intended. What do I do?"

And my favorite,

"If Dan Brown can be published, so can I."

OverTheHills&FarAway
12-18-2007, 12:32 PM
Hey wow. Let's rewrite this in past tense. How much fun would that be??

:rant: