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writerterri
12-03-2006, 10:49 PM
15 minutes before midnight last night, I prided myself in still being 30 something. I tried to convince myself that I was the new 30 as the minutes ticked by denying that I felt like throwing up. Then it came (midnight).

I thought I'd feel better about turning 40, but he truth is I'm anxious and have a nervous pit in my stomach. I was telling a friend here at AW that it will probably grow on me then start to sag. So, I think if we, who are 40 and over, stand in a huddle I will get over it.

Maybe not.

I need a bucket...

Ol' Fashioned Girl
12-03-2006, 10:52 PM
Honey, when you're 45, 40'll look WAY better than it does now. Trust me!

SpookyWriter
12-03-2006, 10:56 PM
I'm around enough old people everyday, thank you. :D I can't wait to get out of this retirement community and into my bachelor pad where I can perch over the balcony and gawk at college girls in bikinis by the pool.

writerterri
12-03-2006, 10:57 PM
http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/4/4_6_200v.gif (http://www.smileycentral.com/?partner=ZSzeb001_ZSYYYYYYYYUS) Okay. [/URL]





[URL="http://smiley.smileycentral.com/download/index.jhtml?partner=ZSzeb113_ZSYYYYYYYYUS&utm_id=7921"]http://www.smileycentral.com/sig.jsp?pc=ZSzeb113&pp=ZSYYYYYYYYUS (http://www.smileycentral.com/?partner=ZSzeb001_ZSYYYYYYYYUS)

Haggis
12-03-2006, 10:57 PM
Pffft. You're still a puppy.

writerterri
12-03-2006, 10:57 PM
I'm around enough old people everyday, thank you. :D I can't wait to get out of this retirement community and into my bachelor pad where I can perch over the balcony and gawk at college girls in bikinis by the pool.


Dork. :tongue

rhymegirl
12-03-2006, 10:58 PM
Terri, I'm way over 40. You look great and you have a great smile and personality.

I think it's all in the attitude. I just look at people like Cher (who is 60) and think: she's still going strong and she's older than I am.

Older women have years of experience. That's a plus!

writerterri
12-03-2006, 10:58 PM
Pffft. You're still a puppy.


I'm standing next to you, just don't hump my leg, K.

Haggis
12-03-2006, 11:00 PM
I'm standing next to you, just don't hump my leg, K.

I wasn't planning on humping the "leg." :D

writerterri
12-03-2006, 11:00 PM
Terri, I'm way over 40. You look great and you have a great smile and personality.

I think it's all in the attitude. I just look at people like Cher (who is 60) and think: she's still going strong and she's older than I am.

Older women have years of experience. That's a plus!


She's 60? Dang.

I think I'm going to have cake and coffee for breakfast.

Rolling Thunder
12-03-2006, 11:03 PM
And there's nothing about sag that a little strategically placed duct tape won't fix.




Oh.....and spackle. Spackle will be your best friend from now on.;)

Ol' Fashioned Girl
12-03-2006, 11:04 PM
Thatta girl!

Freckles
12-03-2006, 11:05 PM
At least you're a whole decade away from 50!! Take solace in the little things. :)

writerterri
12-03-2006, 11:07 PM
I wasn't planning on humping the "leg." :D


Well, okay. I think Spooky's game. :D

William Haskins
12-03-2006, 11:07 PM
by any calculation of life-spans, you're now on the down-side of your life. make every day count.

writerterri
12-03-2006, 11:18 PM
by any calculation of life-spans, you're now on the down-side of your life. make every day count.

Wow, William, I feel warm inside. Oh, wait, that's my coffee.


:tongue

CBeasy
12-03-2006, 11:18 PM
Wow Haskins, you're a brave man.

As I age, I find myself requalifying age groups. 40 no longer seems so old, because I'm more then halfway there ;).

writerterri
12-03-2006, 11:20 PM
I don't think it's old. I just feel like puking.

jbal
12-03-2006, 11:21 PM
Women that surprised me when I found out they were 40 or older:

Monica Belluci
Sandra Bullock
Nicole Kidman (well, she's 39, almost 40)
Sarah Jessica Parker
Kristin Davis
Julia Roberts (39)
Helen Hunt
Helena Bonham Carter

None of these women seem 'old' to me - quite the contrary.
Monica Bellucci is over 40?

writerterri
12-03-2006, 11:21 PM
Wow Haskins, you're a brave man.

As I age, I find myself requalifying age groups. 40 no longer seems so old, because I'm more then halfway there ;).


I feel like the grim reaper just payed me a visit. But I'm still smiling.

Haggis
12-03-2006, 11:21 PM
Well, okay. I think Spooky's game. :D

Spooky's gamey. Different thing.

kristie911
12-03-2006, 11:22 PM
Smack Haskins upside the head for that comment...it'll make you feel tons better! :D

William Haskins
12-03-2006, 11:25 PM
Smack Haskins upside the head for that comment...it'll make you feel tons better! :D

by all means, and smack me upside the head for gravity, or the rotation of the earth or because water is wet.

SpookyWriter
12-03-2006, 11:37 PM
by any calculation of life-spans, you're now on the down-side of your life. make every day count.I think it's called the "Big let down."

Haggis
12-03-2006, 11:42 PM
All things are relative. If Terri's on the down-side, I'm about three pages from "THE END."

Come to think about it, that's probably true.

steveg144
12-03-2006, 11:44 PM
Women that surprised me when I found out they were 40 or older:

Monica Belluci
Sandra Bullock
Nicole Kidman (well, she's 39, almost 40)
Sarah Jessica Parker
Kristin Davis
Julia Roberts (39)
Helen Hunt
Helena Bonham Carter

None of these women seem 'old' to me - quite the contrary.

You left off two of my long-time heartthrobs: Susan Sarandon and Sigourney Weaver. Woof.

SpookyWriter
12-03-2006, 11:44 PM
All things are relative. If Terri's on the down-side, I want her leg before she goes.":roll:

writerterri
12-03-2006, 11:52 PM
All things are relative. If Terri's on the down-side, I'm about three pages from "THE END."

Come to think about it, that's probably true.


Okay, we can do it since you're dieing and all. We'll call it a pitty hump, but your master stays home and no phone calls.

SpookyWriter
12-03-2006, 11:54 PM
Okay, we can do it since you're dieing and all. We'll call it a pitty hump, but your master stays home and no phone calls.Hey Haggis, I'll be around later to pick up the photos. :D Just remember to get a few shots above the knee caps, okay.

Haggis
12-03-2006, 11:58 PM
Okay, we can do it since you're dieing and all. We'll call it a pitty hump...

That's okay. I have no pride.

K1P1
12-03-2006, 11:59 PM
Forty? 40? What's the big deal? I'm already more than 20% of my life past 40. Get over it and get on with things--time's a-wastin'.

[and I still have very nice horns]

SpookyWriter
12-03-2006, 11:59 PM
That's okay. I have no pride....and that's why they call you the lonesome dog.

SpookyWriter
12-04-2006, 12:00 AM
Forty? 40? What's the big deal? I'm already more than 20% of my life past 40. Get over it and get on with things--time's a-wastin'.

[and I still have very nice horns]Frigging math majors...errr...what's that in laymen terms? :rant: Like 80/2 * 4^2.r sum[3.055].

Haggis
12-04-2006, 12:01 AM
...and that's why they call you the stud dog.

Finally got one right, huh, Spooky? :tongue

writerterri
12-04-2006, 12:01 AM
Forty? 40? What's the big deal? I'm already more than 20% of my life past 40. Get over it and get on with things--time's a-wastin'.

[and I still have very nice horns]

Oh. A swift kick in the butt. You're the bees knees! :D

writerterri
12-04-2006, 12:03 AM
That's okay. I have no pride.


Bring the Marlbroughs.

K1P1
12-04-2006, 12:05 AM
Frigging math majors...errr...what's that in laymen terms? :rant: Like 80/2 * 4^2.r sum[3.055].

That would be:
a > 40/(1-.2)

Haggis
12-04-2006, 12:05 AM
Bring the Marlbroughs.

Eat your heart out, Spooky. :D

jbal
12-04-2006, 12:05 AM
Born 1964, so if my math is correct... Wild, huh?
Between her and Terri, 40 is looking better all the time. Plus I think yoiu forgot Teri Hatcher, who looked pretty good before she lost all the weight.

K1P1
12-04-2006, 12:08 AM
You're the bees knees! :D

Thanks. And you're the house hives. :D

SpookyWriter
12-04-2006, 12:13 AM
Eat your heart out, Spooky. :DNo seriously, she wants you to bring the Malborough man to help hold you up. :roll:

Haggis
12-04-2006, 12:14 AM
No seriously, she wants you to bring the Malborough man to help hold you up. :roll:

It ain't that big, Spooky.

SpookyWriter
12-04-2006, 12:22 AM
It ain't that big, Spooky.Now you know why PETA has it out for you. You were there poster boy...:D ...until they discovered just how big your really were.

rhymegirl
12-04-2006, 12:40 AM
Women that surprised me when I found out they were 40 or older:

Monica Belluci
Sandra Bullock
Nicole Kidman (well, she's 39, almost 40)
Sarah Jessica Parker
Kristin Davis
Julia Roberts (39)
Helen Hunt
Helena Bonham Carter

None of these women seem 'old' to me - quite the contrary.

How about Demi Moore? She's 44.

jbal
12-04-2006, 12:43 AM
And Kathy. RRRRoowwwrrr.

rhymegirl
12-04-2006, 12:46 AM
Kathy who???

Tiger
12-04-2006, 12:52 AM
I liked turning 40; my 30s sucked.

-D

Susie
12-04-2006, 01:15 AM
Roses are red
Violets are blue.
Turning 40
Looks great on you!

No need to worry, Terri and no bucket. I'm 60, soon to be 61, maybe I should get a dumpster. :D

JDCrayne
12-04-2006, 01:22 AM
Poor Terri! Just wait until your skin turns crepey and your hair starts to
go grey. Be of good cheer -- now you have enough life experience to
actually write about it.

Gravity
12-04-2006, 01:24 AM
Age ain't spit. I knew some bro's from Nam that are still there; nineteen was as old as they ever got. I'm fifty-four, and digging it (I'd post a picture of myself, but don't want Haskins to get depressed...bless his bones).

Here's the deal. Someday we'll all draw our last breath, and every man-jack (or woman-jill) will ask for just one more. And the Great Scorekeeper will say, "Nope. You're done. C'mon home." Until then, live life. That's all.

allion
12-04-2006, 01:24 AM
Hi Terri! :hi:

40 is okay. Not great, but it's okay. I hated turning 30 with every fibre of my being, and turning 40 isn't such an evil thing. A friend said that once she turned 40, she finally felt at ease with herself.

Me, I can do without the grey hairs that tend to stick straight out from my head, but that's why they invented hair dye. I had them before I turned 40, so that isn't a big thing. I don't think I look 40, so that helps.

I say, eat the cake and have a beverage you enjoy. Age is only a number, after all. I've known a lot of people who were over 80 and you would never know it, and a lot of people who were under 50 and behaved like they were codgers.

It's all in your frame of mind.

Party on,

Karen

Scarlett_156
12-04-2006, 01:27 AM
*startled look* What's so bad about getting old? It's way better than the alternative. *goes back to whipping teenaged houseboy for overwatering the diffenbachia*

Serena Casey
12-04-2006, 01:29 AM
You're not 40, you're 29 11. I'm 29 12, myself.

JDCrayne
12-04-2006, 01:36 AM
I'm fifty-four, and digging it

And I'm a decade older than you are, with a much better perspective on life than I had when I was thirty, forty, or even fifty. There's a sentimental old
poem about bargaining with life for a penny, and it ends with the line, "Any wages I asked of life, life would have paid." Ask for as much as you can get away with, and then some.

jbal
12-04-2006, 01:59 AM
Kathy who???
I don't know, you won't give me your last name or address. Actually, I wouldn't have guessed you were over 40 either.

Carole
12-04-2006, 02:02 AM
Terri, I am not far behind you. Hubby thinks it is SO funny to remind me that I am almost 40. I'll be 39 in April, but he just turned 34. It makes me nervous in a weird way, too. I'm the baby of the family, I've always been the youngest mom in whatever group I'm in and all that jazz. When my brother turned 40 this year, I realized that being the baby doesn't mean much after a certain point. Also, when the chick in my office had her baby and I realized that she's only 27, I had to come to grips with the fact that the "youngest mom" thing was totally out the window, too.

It sucks, this getting older thing. I don't like it one bit.

Now for the good part. You don't look anywhere NEAR 40. My guess would be late 20's or VERY early 30's. Seriously. When I saw your birthday countdown ticker I couldn't believe it.

So chin up, chickadee. You're blessed with fabulous genes!

Carole
12-04-2006, 02:10 AM
by any calculation of life-spans, you're now on the down-side of your life. make every day count.

Remind me to call you if I'm ever diagnosed with cancer of the puppy. :D

aghast
12-04-2006, 02:29 AM
How about Demi Moore? She's 44.

and brooke shield, i cant believe pretty baby is over 40 but she looks great

SpookyWriter
12-04-2006, 02:48 AM
and brooke shield, i cant believe pretty baby is over 40 but she looks greatYeah, but I really need to rent Blue Lagoon again before getting too excited.

Unique
12-04-2006, 02:55 AM
terri - be happy.

this guy's only 26 (http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/programmes/from_our_own_correspondent/6199340.stm)

perspective. it's all about your perspective.

Rolling Thunder
12-04-2006, 03:08 AM
Are you saying he looks better from undernea.......um......nevermind.

writerterri
12-04-2006, 03:21 AM
Thanks. And you're the house hives. :D


Oh, you cought that? Niiice.

writerterri
12-04-2006, 03:24 AM
Now you know why PETA has it out for you. You were there poster boy...:D ...until they discovered just how big your really were.


Was that english?

writerterri
12-04-2006, 03:27 AM
Age ain't spit. I knew some bro's from Nam that are still there; nineteen was as old as they ever got. I'm fifty-four, and digging it (I'd post a picture of myself, but don't want Haskins to get depressed...bless his bones).

Here's the deal. Someday we'll all draw our last breath, and every man-jack (or woman-jill) will ask for just one more. And the Great Scorekeeper will say, "Nope. You're done. C'mon home." Until then, live life. That's all.

Should I trust someone named Gravity? :tongue

TsukiRyoko
12-04-2006, 03:30 AM
Terri! Terri, you must turn back! Do not go into the 40 lights! Stay away from the- oh boy, there she goes. Right into them. Never thought we'd lose her....

:D

writerterri
12-04-2006, 03:32 AM
My husband just turned 37. He has been teasing me all year. My sister in law didn't even want a birthday card for her 40th.


Terri, I am not far behind you. Hubby thinks it is SO funny to remind me that I am almost 40. I'll be 39 in April, but he just turned 34. It makes me nervous in a weird way, too. I'm the baby of the family, I've always been the youngest mom in whatever group I'm in and all that jazz. When my brother turned 40 this year, I realized that being the baby doesn't mean much after a certain point. Also, when the chick in my office had her baby and I realized that she's only 27, I had to come to grips with the fact that the "youngest mom" thing was totally out the window, too.

It sucks, this getting older thing. I don't like it one bit.

Now for the good part. You don't look anywhere NEAR 40. My guess would be late 20's or VERY early 30's. Seriously. When I saw your birthday countdown ticker I couldn't believe it.

So chin up, chickadee. You're blessed with fabulous genes!

writerterri
12-04-2006, 03:35 AM
terri - be happy.

this guy's only 26 (http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/programmes/from_our_own_correspondent/6199340.stm)

perspective. it's all about your perspective.


Whoa!

writerterri
12-04-2006, 03:36 AM
Terri! Terri, you must turn back! Do not go into the 40 lights! Stay away from the- oh boy, there she goes. Right into them. Never thought we'd lose her....

:D


Heeelp! *squeak*

TsukiRyoko
12-04-2006, 03:46 AM
Heeelp! *squeak* Well I tried catching your hand, Terri, and I would have gotten ahold of it and saved you, but you had to go and scratch that itch under your nose. I told you to use tissues with lotion in them, but nooooo you to go and buy generic brand. Tsk tsk.

SpookyWriter
12-04-2006, 03:48 AM
Here's a belated birthday gift, Terri.

Boy toy (http://www.sxc.hu/pic/m/l/le/levi_sz/513845_plastic_boy_toy.jpg)

aghast
12-04-2006, 03:57 AM
Here's a belated birthday gift, Terri.

Boy toy (http://www.sxc.hu/pic/m/l/le/levi_sz/513845_plastic_boy_toy.jpg)

he is really hard

AmyDoodle
12-04-2006, 04:00 AM
Let's see. . . .40. Oh, yes, I remember. My kids were old enough to get stuff for themselves so I didn't have to wait on them like a servant girl. Taking advice from a dear over-40 friend, I decided I was old enough to try something new without asking permission. So I started writing again--and to my amazement and growing self esteem, had an essay published in The Christian Science Monitor. 40 ain't bad. It's what you do with it that counts. Take it and make it great.

BTW, (I forgot to tell you in the other thread) HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! :Cake:

Freckles
12-04-2006, 04:01 AM
OK, Terri. Here's how you should look at all of this. Say you live to 100, then you're not even to middle age yet.

Rolling Thunder
12-04-2006, 04:02 AM
he is really hard

He looks taller than Haggis, too. :D

writerterri
12-04-2006, 04:47 AM
Thanks, Amy. I'm starting to feel better now that the shock is wearing off.

My kids are old enought to get things for themsleves, but refuse. dorks.


Let's see. . . .40. Oh, yes, I remember. My kids were old enough to get stuff for themselves so I didn't have to wait on them like a servant girl. Taking advice from a dear over-40 friend, I decided I was old enough to try something new without asking permission. So I started writing again--and to my amazement and growing self esteem, had an essay published in The Christian Science Monitor. 40 ain't bad. It's what you do with it that counts. Take it and make it great.

BTW, (I forgot to tell you in the other thread) HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! :Cake:

writerterri
12-04-2006, 04:49 AM
he is really hard


What are you wearing?:D

writerterri
12-04-2006, 04:50 AM
OK, Terri. Here's how you should look at all of this. Say you live to 100, then you're not even to middle age yet.


Okay!

10 years will go by real fast, yes?

SpookyWriter
12-04-2006, 05:02 AM
Okay!

10 years will go by real fast, yes?No

writerterri
12-04-2006, 05:04 AM
No

yes

SpookyWriter
12-04-2006, 05:13 AM
yesWanna bet?

Rolling Thunder
12-04-2006, 07:17 AM
I've heard, when you're married, it only feels like life is longer.:)

writerterri
12-04-2006, 07:45 AM
Wanna bet?

Okay.

writerterri
12-04-2006, 07:47 AM
I've heard, when you're married, it only feels like life is longer.:)


You're married. Is it true?

My husband says it feels like we've been married 20 years instead of 10.

The dork!

Edit: I need to lay off the A-1 sauce.

Rolling Thunder
12-04-2006, 07:48 AM
You're married. Is it true.



Pfffft. I'm not married. Not in the plan either.:ROFL:

writerterri
12-04-2006, 07:52 AM
Pfffft. I'm not married. Not in the plan either.:ROFL:

But don't you remember our first conversation?

She's your girlfriend?

Am I trippin'?

Rolling Thunder
12-04-2006, 07:56 AM
You must be thinking about someone else, Terri.

writerterri
12-04-2006, 08:01 AM
I just checked, Chocolatethundah.

You're right.


Name your prize.

Rolling Thunder
12-04-2006, 08:05 AM
I just checked, Chocolatethundah.

You're right.


Name your prize.

I get a prize? Geez....the first thing that popped into my head was pizza.

I need counseling.:ROFL:

mooncars
12-04-2006, 08:07 AM
A wise man once asked the question, "What are you doing with the time you've been given?"

'Nuff said.

writerterri
12-04-2006, 08:12 AM
I get a prize? Geez....the first thing that popped into my head was pizza.

I need counseling.:ROFL:


Right.



http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/36/36_11_18.gif (http://www.smileycentral.com/?partner=ZSzeb001_ZSYYYYYYYYUS)





http://www.smileycentral.com/sig.jsp?pc=ZSzeb096&pp=ZSYYYYYYYYUS (http://smiley.smileycentral.com/download/index.jhtml?partner=ZSzeb096_ZSYYYYYYYYUS&utm_id=7924)

writerterri
12-04-2006, 08:12 AM
A wise man once asked the question, "What are you doing with the time you've been given?"

'Nuff said.


God will say that. Foshizzle.

aghast
12-04-2006, 09:49 AM
40 is the new 60 - enjoy

MarkButler
12-04-2006, 10:00 AM
Hi guys, now that nano is over can I hang out in the old fogies.. err, I mean distinguished elders..er, I mean "experienced" writers forum?

If you don't mind my getting a touch preachy, As someone who has 50 roaring down on them, I can say that the 40's are the best decade of life!

The teens are growing up, learning things, some fun obviously but its juvenile fun
The twenties are pretty fun. I think they run a close second. Usually marriage, but not much money so it can be great if non-money activities work well. Usually kids start, so the "us" time goes away and we become parents instead of a couple
Thirties is a time for nose-to-the-grindstone, developing a career. The kids are growing and need full-time parents.
Fourties are great. You still have your health, you have the money, the career is there and you no longer have to work 80 hours a week to get ahead. The kids are growing up and don't need 100% parents so you and spouse can start blossoming again as people.
the fifties continue the process, but now most people have to start thinking of retirement, health problems, paying for the kids college, health problems, family members funerals, etc. So the fifties (i suspect) are more bittersweet .

I say enjoy your fourties to the absolute fullest. I read an article about how people should make a list of the ten things they want to do before the end - not stupid things like "walk on the moon" but realistic achievable things that excite - such as "see the northern lights", "climb a real mountain", "attend an opera in Italy", "kiss on a gondola under a bridge in Venice", then make a plan to start achieving them. Very few people ever went into their fifties wishing they had spent more time hanging around the house in their fourties!

I think you will find that the 40's are the best time of your life, embrace them! I am just now discovering this, even though my 40's are about gone, but I have made my list and I still plan to achive them. My next goal is to climb Mt. Rainier for my 50th. It is a hikable mountain (no pitons required)
and I want to stand up on top and take a 360 degree picture.

So I am sure it is tough to turn 40, its hard to think of yourself as "young" anymore, but the fourties are a wonderful decade especially for women. They are beautiful, with the grace and poise of self-confidence and still have the skin and looks to attract any one at any time they want (you know I am right!).. embrace it, don't shy away.

Ok, enough ranting, can you tell I am still in nano mode? 774 words left to write today..must keep writing.. must keep writing..

aruna
12-04-2006, 11:54 AM
First of all Terri, a very belated Happy Birthday to you - sorry I missed your birthday thread!



.... the fourties are a wonderful decade especially for women. They are beautiful, with the grace and poise of self-confidence and still have the skin and looks to attract any one at any time they want (you know I am right!).. embrace it, don't shy away.
.

I agree, with one caveat - the 50's are even better!

Whenever I read threads like this, about people, especially women, worrying about getting older, I get all jumpy and jittery and want to scream, no no, no, it's great!!!! It really is all about attitude, and that is in YOUR hands.


I really don't care about all these celebitities who look great in their 40's and 50's. With Cher, we know anyway that's it's all surgery. But I think that is the whole trouble; we as women are so conditioned into believing that looking good is all it's about that our whole self image is connected with our bodies and our looks. We are so afraid of looking and turning unattractive! And I know - I've been through it myself. I had terrible weight problems when I was younger. I was so beefy and burly when I was 17 the guys used to call me Brown Bomber - and it hurt, a lot.

And then society and media and friends keep telling us again and again we have to beautiful and attractive and sexy and that's what matters and it isn't, it so isn't!

It's possible to grow older and get wrinkles and sagging breasts and a grey hair and still look absolutely beautiful.. it's all in the eyes and the smile, and an old woman who has those can beat Cher any day for looks. I hate to use this tired old cliche but beauty really is inside, and if you can find that beauty within yourself you won't mind at all what your body looks like - or you won't mind so much, at least! For me it's not a cliche but something real and living and totally possible.

One of my best friends is in her 90's and yes, she has health problems but she is so young inside, so vibrant, so glowing. Her home - in Alsatia, France - used to be am magnet for young people; it was always full up in the summer and everyone just liked being with her, talking to her, refreshing their batteries. Her 80'th birthday pary was fantastic! She became for me the model of how I want to grow old. There was never any fear of death, and certainly not the feeling that she was on the downward curve - rather, she was on the upward curve; that's how sees it, and that's how I feel it! My life is becoming progressively better - more difficult in many ways, but better in inner quality, and I really, really look forward to my 60's.

I am so sorry if this sounds preachy or cliched (beauty being on the inside etc) but for me, it's the cliches about older women that drive me nuts because they are so NOT TRUE - it's all up to us. For me, life only really began when I turned 40, and if I can do it anyone can because I really was not a terribly extraordinary 20 or 30 year old, in fact I was a bit of a wreck.

Apart from that, talk like this is like when thin people complain getting too fat for their size 10 pants - in the presence of size 16s! I just won't accept being told I'm over the hill - because I'm not!

MacAllister
12-04-2006, 01:58 PM
Terri, I'm right behind ya--I'll turn 40 in April. Let's go skydiving, or something, 'kay?

dpaterso
12-04-2006, 02:39 PM
Nude skydiving. Give the folks on the ground something to point and scream at. Post pics!

-Derek

aghast
12-04-2006, 03:44 PM
nude skydiving in april? would that be a bit eh like chilly

rhymegirl
12-04-2006, 04:30 PM
I really don't care about all these celebitities who look great in their 40's and 50's. With Cher, we know anyway that's it's all surgery. But I think that is the whole trouble; we as women are so conditioned into believing that looking good is all it's about that our whole self image is connected with our bodies and our looks. We are so afraid of looking and turning unattractive

Okay, let's clear up a few things here.

Cher may have had some facial cosmetic surgery, but not body-wise. I happen to know for a fact that she has always been a fitness buff. And that was my main point. I was referring to the idea of a person taking care of herself--working out, exercising, keeping in shape. There is certainly nothing wrong with that. You don't just exercise to look good; you also exercise to feel good and to keep certain illnesses and medical conditions at bay. And if you're keeping things like diabetes, heart disease and cancer away then you've got a good shot at living to be that 90-year-old woman.

I plan on fighting aging every step of the way. I don't plan on having cosmetic surgery, but I will exercise, go bike riding, walking, etc., try to eat right, color my hair and do anything reasonable to look my best. And it's not just for other people; it's for me. I think looking your best helps you to go out there and tackle whatever project you need to tackle. It helps you have confidence.

Yes, having beauty on the inside is also important. Developing your interests, having friends, doing the kind of work you love and that makes a difference in life--all very important.

But I don't want to LOOK OLD until I'm old.

K1P1
12-04-2006, 04:35 PM
try to eat right, color my hair and do anything reasonable to look my best. And it's not just for other people

I like the gray streaks in my hair. Now I can wear black and silver and it looks great.

aruna
12-04-2006, 04:50 PM
Okay, let's clear up a few things here.

.....

But I don't want to LOOK OLD until I'm old.


Well, I'm a bit of a health freak myself so I can't disagree with you there - I've got good skin, no wrinkles and not a single grey hair. But that's all secondary; very most important thing is attitude.... and the worst thing is to feel that your life is half over because you've turned 40. No, it's just beginning! I'm saying it's possible to have a great, fit looking nbody and yet feel old inside. I was worrying about all pics of 40 year olds looking like 20 year olds. They put much too much pressure on people.

ATP
12-04-2006, 05:05 PM
Now 47, and 9 months until 48. Then 2 years until turning 50. You've still a while to go to 'catch up'.

I am hoping that what my old psychology lecturer-colleague said is true - about one being a 'late bloomer'. Keeping good company then, I guess: Ray Kroc, started McDonalds when he was 52 (?), some famous artists, writers and actors finally 'making it' in their late 40s or early 50s.

Have to maintain perspective, yes? Gotta 'keep the faith', as they say.

NeuroFizz
12-04-2006, 05:31 PM
Terri, try to make it a milestone year for something other than the number. If 40 makes you puke, what is 50 going to do? Or 60? Are you still alive? Are you still healthy, active? Screw the numbers and get on with your life.

writerterri
12-04-2006, 09:23 PM
40 is the new 60 - enjoy


That remark resembles how I feel.

writerterri
12-04-2006, 09:25 PM
Terri, try to make it a milestone year for something other than the number. If 40 makes you puke, what is 50 going to do? Or 60? Are you still alive? Are you still healthy, active? Screw the numbers and get on with your life.

Hopefully I'll get over this thing I'm entertaining by 50 or I'll have a stroke by then. Wait...50?!!! That's only 10 years away! *faints*

writerterri
12-04-2006, 09:33 PM
Nude skydiving. Give the folks on the ground something to point and scream at. Post pics!

-Derek


LOL!

aka eraser
12-04-2006, 09:35 PM
Turning 40 didn't bother me a whit. My 50th was angst-worthy though. But my sister tossed a great party for me attended by all my 30-something to 60-something friends and family. Drinks were drunk. Hilarity ensued. The angst was very short-lived.

Now I'm 55. In many respects I'm having more fun now than I've ever had. I don't expect that to stop until I do, which I hope is still a decade or three down the road.

Honestly Terri, the best is yet to be. :)

Kate Thornton
12-04-2006, 09:37 PM
I think I was at my physical peak at about 47-50.

I am now 57 - and not planning on quitting any time soon.

You're still a kid, kid!

Jaycinth
12-04-2006, 09:43 PM
Aw Terri, don't feel bad. Don't even begin to feel bad. 40 is nothing. I started telling people I was 40 when I was 30. (Professional respect, thing)
Now that I'm there, like you, I don't look it. I get mistaken for my kids' 'older sister' all of the time. Once my son had to tell a friend to stop hitting on me. (Son was mortified, I thought it was cute.)
You look 22 to me. I is jealous.
And, by the way, since you can reasonably expect to live to be 90, you'se barely middle aged, kid.

Go put on a 'naughty school girl' outfit and rock someone's world.

And remember you got somethig all those hot 18 and 20 somethings don't have. Experience and brains.

(Um ...would you tell your kids to let me out of the cellar now? I ate all the crayons, just like they asked.....)

Haggis
12-04-2006, 09:45 PM
Aw Terri, don't feel bad. Don't even begin to feel bad. 40 is nothing. I started telling people I was 40 when I was 30. (Professional respect, thing)
Now that I'm there, like you, I don't look it. I get mistaken for my kids' 'older sister' all of the time. Once my son had to tell a friend to stop hitting on me. (Son was mortified, I thought it was cute.)
You look 22 to me. I is jealous.
And, by the way, since you can reasonably expect to live to be 90, you'se barely middle aged, kid.

Go put on a 'naughty school girl' outfit and rock someone's world.

And remember you got somethig all those hot 18 and 20 somethings don't have. Experience and brains.

(Um ...would you tell your kids to let me out of the cellar now? I ate all the crayons, just like they asked.....)

Naughty school girl outfit? I'm all for it. :D

Shadow_Ferret
12-04-2006, 10:14 PM
40 is the new 30.

Jaycinth
12-04-2006, 10:19 PM
40 is the new 30.
Oh, then, in THAT case, Terri is 14 and I'm 16 and we're gonna go out and blackmail some dirty old men

writerterri
12-04-2006, 10:48 PM
I guess I wouldn't feel so bad if I had the freedom some women have. I've been chronically ill since 1991 with asthma; day in and day out. And the medications I have to take make me feel ill, but I can't be without them, I've tried. I haven't been able to hold or keep a job with always being sick so our income just barely cover the cost of living. I try to make blankets for the little things I need or medication or a doctors appointment. I've tried everything under the sun to try and bring in some money but only to have it fail because of my health.

I decided in 2003 to utilize my talent for story writing to bring in some money (talk about hard road). You all know how that goes. I joined to gain insight and improve my craft. This is my dream. I don't intend to give up on this one, it's all I have left.

So in a nut shell, if I had health and a bit of money I could enjoy more. Not that I don't enjoy some of it now, it just would be more fulfilling if I had more freedom out side my home, but I don't. My highlights are making things for people and getting to go shopping for the material. Small and insignificant? Yes, but not to me.

When I get my book deal and receive my first check, it will give me something I've never felt before as a woman. And turning 40 and still not experiencing it made me panic. Hard to understand if you're not in my shoes.

Sher must feel good at 60. She can travel anywhere she wants, she can put gas in her car and not worry, she can go to the doctor any time she needs to go, she can leave her house and not worry about her lungs, she can run out and buy her kids shoes and clothes when they need them, and she can fix her car when it breaks down and not have to ask some one to borrow the money to do it.

I am still waiting for that. There's no dignity in asking people for money for the things you need when you're 40. Someday when that check comes in I'll have pride in what I've accomplished and feel a sense of power and feel good about taking my kids to go get some shoes from what I've earned, not from what someone else has given me, but it is nice. It just sucks to ask at 40.

I should just be able to go get my medicine I need in two weeks, but I know Christmas is coming and the kids are gonna want presents to open. I feel powerless here. I feel like if the odds weren't against me growing up I would have established myself in my 20's like I was on the road to doing until I got sick with asthma. I had dreams and goals. I was good at what I did was going to use my talent to carry my own weight in life. Instead of building my life I found myself going through therapy for a severely abusive childhood. I was so sick that I was put on disability. I had kids in my 30's (miracle) and now 40 came. What I set out to do in my 20's never happened. My dream was taken from me just like my childhood. I don't feel the power of 40 that some women do. I'm missing that 20 years of my life that most people spend establishing theirs. I'm just not there yet. I won't give up. I'll die trying if I have to. I will have some dignity about myself. There's nothing worse than not having a sense of pride and accomplishment at my age. (It's practically foolishness, I know.)

I just want to feel what people are talking about in this thread. I've never felt it before. I cower away from society and women my age when I'm out in public because I feel different. And you'd have to be in my shoes to understand. I see these women with beautiful nails and feet and shoes and clothes. I feel stupid standing next to what looks like an accomplished woman. I can't even relate to her and I think, why? How stupid.

Perhaps some of you can't relate to me and what I'm talking about. I would have no problem being on her level if I were like her. Let's face it, you wouldn't ask a smelly, drunk homeless person out with your crowd to go have fun for a day.

I know there's a lot flaws in what I'm saying and I'm trying to fit in and work out the kinks, but all you guys see is a pretty face in an avatar. Behind that picture is a whole mixed up messed up world. And it's up to me to work it out and stay on the good side of life.

Here I am 40 and just starting out. I feel out of my element. Now that my parents have done their damage (both killed themselves) I'm left to fix me and move on. I haven't got much to work with, but I'm alive and willing to be happy. 40 for me means starting over. I couldn't do it with my mother here. I was waiting for her to die so I could move on. Watching my mother kill herself wasn't easy and I always said that when she's gone I will tell my story. Now she's gone and I can tell it. I just didn't think it would happen so soon.

I don't know how I found myself here at AW, but here I am. This may seem strange to most people, but this is where I'll grow up and I can't think of a better place and better people to do it with. This is where my story begins, this is where my life will start.

Who would have thought?

K1P1
12-05-2006, 12:11 AM
You can come stand by me - no makeup, no nice nails, get the hair wacked off once a year (if I get to it), and I hate dressing up (jeans and turtlenecks all the way). Oh, and I'm about 25 lbs overweight. Why do you think I never put my own picture in my avatar?

In all seriousness, the difficulty is finding a way to measure your own worth. When I had my first child, I quit a job I loved that was far better than any job I ever hoped to have and I will never be able to get one like it again. I moved to a strange town with a new baby. No school, so no grades to be proud of. No job, so no paycheck to be proud of. A baby who absolutely, positively refused to breastfeed (she's a strong character, what can I say), so I was even failing at what should come naturally. No friends, and a feeling of failure if I called any of the old ones to talk about how lonely I was. Absolutely nothing to base self esteem on.

Edited to add: Prior success is absolutely no guarantee that you'll be successful again when you start over. If any of those women you see who look so established were to try start writing, they'd have just the same insecurities as you do (probably more).

In the end, you've got to find it [selfworth] within yourself. You're articulate. You're intelligent. You've got a sense of humor. You've got guts. You can do it. Don't ever think you're worth less than anyone else.

writerterri
12-05-2006, 12:33 AM
I guess I'm basing my self worth on a paycheck. Ugh! I'm ridiculous.


I'll find happy ground.

allion
12-05-2006, 12:36 AM
In the end, you've got to find it [selfworth] within yourself. You're articulate. You're intelligent. You've got a sense of humor. You've got guts. You can do it. Don't ever think you're worth less than anyone else.

Maggie, I am going to frame this. Profound words. Thank you.

Karen

K1P1
12-05-2006, 12:39 AM
I guess I'm basing my self worth on a paycheck. Ugh! I'm ridiculous.

No, it's not ridiculous at all. It's our society's yardstick for measuring our success. It's really nice to be able to say, I make more than I did 5 years ago, so I must be getting better. I make more than that guy next door, so I must be better than him. It's easy to measure numbers of dollars. It's impossible to measure how good, how creative, how intelligent, how supportive, how lyrical, how... I've run out of adjectives, but you get the idea. Those are impossible to measure.

I feel the same way as you about all those well-turned-out women I see. I feel even more like a loser when I see their beautiful well-kept well-decorated houses. But in the long run, wouldn't I rather write a book than have my nails done or get the couch recovered? Yes.

The point when you can look at your own work and say to yourself, well, that's not too god awful. Maybe somebody else will be able to read it and understand what I'm getting at. That's success.

JDCrayne
12-05-2006, 12:51 AM
When I get my book deal and receive my first check, it will give me something I've never felt before as a woman. And turning 40 and still not experiencing it made me panic. Hard to understand if you're not in my shoes.

See if a library or used book store near you has a copy of "Tolstoy's Bicycle."
It's a list of things that people did for the first time and how old they were when they did them. It's heartening to turn to one's age and then read beyond it and realize that there is a lot of time left.

As for your health problems, remember that medicine doesn't stand still. There are researchers out there working on your problems right now. They may have a critical break-through next year, next month, or even tomorrow.

Haggis
12-05-2006, 12:51 AM
Here I am 40 and just starting out.

When you stop to think about it Teri, that's pretty freakin' exciting. I've seen my share of 40 year old ex-jocks and jockettes whose only claim to fame is some old high school football game over 20 years earlier. Pretty sad. On the other hand, you've got a lot to look forward to. Now stop bashing yourself and go model that naughty school girl dress for me. :D

JDCrayne
12-05-2006, 12:55 AM
You can come stand by me - no makeup, no nice nails, get the hair wacked off once a year (if I get to it), and I hate dressing up (jeans and turtlenecks all the way). Oh, and I'm about 25 lbs overweight. Why do you think I never put my own picture in my avatar?


Dang, Maggie! I knew we were kindred souls! I gave up make-up twelve years ago, the nails are cut short because otherwise they break when I garden or bring in the fire wood, and the hair (now showing a few strands of gray) is waist-length because I hate going to a salon. Around here dressing up is clean jeans and making sure you don't track manure into the house. And yep, I'm on the zaftig side!

K1P1
12-05-2006, 04:19 AM
Do you think we were separated at birth, Dian?

Pomegranate
12-05-2006, 05:21 AM
Age is just a number, Terri. Is there really any substantial change in your life between the day before your birthday and the day after? Probably not. If you still feel young and approach the world with a "beginners mind" it doesn't matter if the number is 30, 40, or 50.

I freaked out when I turned 30, but my 30's turned out to be fabulous. Now I don't sweat the milestone birthdays so much anymore.

writerterri
12-05-2006, 08:22 AM
I'm sure glad I have you guys in my huddle. I'm feeling much better.

aruna
12-05-2006, 09:19 AM
Dang, Maggie! I knew we were kindred souls! I gave up make-up twelve years ago, the nails are cut short because otherwise they break when I garden or bring in the fire wood, and the hair (now showing a few strands of gray) is waist-length because I hate going to a salon. Around here dressing up is clean jeans and making sure you don't track manure into the house. And yep, I'm on the zaftig side!

Hey, count me in! I never wear make up. Never! I loathe lipstick especially. My nails are cut short short short and no polish. And I like confortable old clothes myself. You'd be hard pressed to find anything elegant in my wardrobe - and ot one single pair of high heels.

aruna
12-05-2006, 09:33 AM
I just want to feel what people are talking about in this thread. I've never felt it before. I cower away from society and women my age when I'm out in public because I feel different. And you'd have to be in my shoes to understand. I see these women with beautiful nails and feet and shoes and clothes. I feel stupid standing next to what looks like an accomplished woman. I can't even relate to her and I think, why? How stupid.



Terri, I hope I didn't make you feel bad in any way. It might make you feel better to know that I didn;t have it made in life either.I've had money problems as long as I can remember, and even when I had money, there were other huge issues to deal with.

Even right now, we are just one tiny step away from bankruptcy and losing everything we worked for all our lives. My husband has all his property taken away from him by my bully of a stepson, and because he has Parkinsons' disease he didn't even notice it; our life is just like something out of a soap opera!


It sounds to me as if like me, you're just on the cusp of YOUR turning point. All those horrible things are behind you now and you can move on; not having money and needing it desperately was for me the motivation to reallyget serious about my writing and it paid off. My first publishing contract came when I was 48! It's been really a rollercoaster ride but if you keep your head up you really can see it as a great adventure . I can't count the breakdowns I've had, where I've felt I can't go on. These days I have them on a regular basis. But every single time, the breakdowns turned into a breakthrough, and a totally new direction opened up. After 40 life turns into a great adventure, because you never know what's around the corner - and even the bad times turn out to be good.

I'm sorry about your health. I am blessed with good health but I have my husband to take care of and I know how hard that can be. This summer he went through a terrible depression and we had to go through that together. Now he's much better, thank goodness.

writerterri
12-05-2006, 09:01 PM
It's been really a rollercoaster ride but if you keep your head up you really can see it as a great adventure .

You didn't make me feel bad. I was just coming to terms with what I was feeling. I know what makes us as women feel good and too many hard times makes us feel weary, though it builds character. I didn't plan on going through this it just happened.

I remember when you shared that story with us earlier this year or last year. I prayed for you to make it through and you did and it encourages me.

I've got a mentor who will see me through my writing process so I can get my book out there and touch lives. Then I will feel like I didn't go through all this for nothing.

Thanks, Aruna and everyone else who contributed to this thread. It has really helped.

Terri

aruna
12-05-2006, 09:07 PM
:Hug2: for you, terri! You'll make it through as well!

maestrowork
12-05-2006, 09:31 PM
You're just a baby.

Pomegranate
12-05-2006, 10:04 PM
Hey, count me in! I never wear make up. Never! I loathe lipstick especially. My nails are cut short short short and no polish. And I like confortable old clothes myself. You'd be hard pressed to find anything elegant in my wardrobe - and ot one single pair of high heels.

Me too! No makeup, no hair dye, no nail polish, no jewelry, and no heels. My husband prefers me that way, and I like not having to spend an extra hour dressing every day. I look clean and well groomed at work, just not girly. (My fancy dress-up outfit is a beautiful chinese silk jacket/pants that fits like pyjamas. I wear it with flats.)

My mother is tormented by the fact that I refuse to dye my hair. She says no one will believe her color (blond) is real when they see me. I say that's her problem. ;-)

writerterri
12-05-2006, 10:27 PM
Me too! No makeup, no hair dye, no nail polish, no jewelry, and no heels. My husband prefers me that way, and I like not having to spend an extra hour dressing every day. I look clean and well groomed at work, just not girly. (My fancy dress-up outfit is a beautiful chinese silk jacket/pants that fits like pyjamas. I wear it with flats.)

My mother is tormented by the fact that I refuse to dye my hair. She says no one will believe her color (blond) is real when they see me. I say that's her problem. ;-)

My husband doesn't care about the clothes if you know what I mean.

Little Red Barn
12-06-2006, 12:34 AM
Here you go Terri, one of my all time favorites!

http://hobbes.ncsa.uiuc.edu/desiderata.html

hugs, kimmi

writerterri
12-06-2006, 01:37 AM
Here you go Terri, one of my all time favorites!

http://hobbes.ncsa.uiuc.edu/desiderata.html

hugs, kimmi

Wow, if that doesn't say it all I don't know what does.

Thanks and hugs back,

Terri

Del
12-06-2006, 02:26 AM
Now I'm 55. In many respects I'm having more fun now than I've ever had.

And gets to order from the seniors menue. :D

Del
12-06-2006, 03:15 AM
When I was 20 I thought forty was old. Now I'm over 50 and 40 seems like a kid.

It isn't how old you are that counts. It's what you do with it. We're gaining credibility just from life experience! I used to want to be 25 again until I reached forty and realized how naive I was. I'm still not all that bright but at least now I know it. :D

I can sympathize with your health. I've had trouble since I was thirty. It made finding work very hard and now I'm on permanent disability. So what. This old body doesn't respond very well from the neck down but it is what I got. There are others that have it a lot worse, and others worse than them. There is a lot I used to like to do and can't anymore but there are still things I can do and new things and dreams I can have and I'm not going to give in until I'm planted. No one can take your spirit unless you let them.

Here's a toast to all us old farts and all the disabilities and especially to the spirit to go on. I refuse to die before I'm dead.

JDCrayne
12-06-2006, 05:42 AM
Do you think we were separated at birth, Dian?

I'm sure of it! It was a 26 hour operation with three teams of surgeons, but we came through! (And by the way, where's the other half of my liver?)

writerterri
12-06-2006, 05:43 AM
Cheers!

aruna
12-06-2006, 08:53 AM
Here you go Terri, one of my all time favorites!

http://hobbes.ncsa.uiuc.edu/desiderata.html

hugs, kimmi

Thanks, it's one of my old favourites too.