I'm going to write my first screenplay, but I need some help,
FADE IN:
INT. BANK - DAY
We hear a gunshot from a shotgun thereafter a voice
JACKIE
(Shouts to all)
Get down on the @#%$ floor, now.
We see a CU. Of the woman holding the shotgun now FREEZE FRAME, Jackie Brown, she's twenty eight, an very attractive young woman.
The camera exit FREEZE FRAME and continue filming.
We can hear screams in the background over the screams you hear another voice.
QUINN (OS)
Get down on the @#%$ floor right now, or I will splatter your brain all over the wall back there.
Camera is going to CU. Of the second woman, Quinnie Brown, twenty five, long black hair, attractive young woman; the camera goes to CU. Of her face, we see that she is wearing an eye patch over one of her eyes.
The camera moves out of CU. We see the both sisters in a SPLIT SCREEN Jackie on the left holding her shotgun, Quinn on the right screen holding a .45 in a tight grip.
CREDIT SEQUENCE:
When the credit sequence is finished, we FADE TO BLACK:
Over the BLACK we hear the sound of SCREAMS, we can hear two shots then someone yells
JACKIE
(OS)
Shut the @#%$ up, everybody just shut the @#%$ up.
CUT TO:
INT: BANK - DAY
Jackie steps down off the desk she was standing on, we see Quinn do the same.
We see Jackie walk across the room and look out of the windows, witch is covered by curtains, she lift one of the curtains to the side just a little bit, just enough so she could look out, she saw cars rolling down the street nothing that was different of other days, not yet anyway.
She walked away from the window; she walked along to the wall till she reached a desk, she walked around it and straight forward till she was standing face to face with Quinn, she looked deeply into her eyes before she finally said anything.
JACKIE
(to Quinn)
Go and see if you can find the manager Of this shithole.
QUINN
I'm right at it, sis.
We see when Quinn steps out of the FRAME.
Jackie steps to wards the group of people, but stops a few steps away from the hostages, she patrol before the hostage, the camera follows her for a while before we see a 360 of the bank, the camera stops on a guy in security suit in the corner of the bank, the camera goes into a CU. Of the guy, we see him standing in the corner the name tag on his chest says that his name is Francies… Francies Worley, he don't look very old maybe 28-29 years old,
Is this a good beginning on a movie, Please feedback what you think.
FADE IN:
INT. BANK - DAY
We hear a gunshot from a shotgun thereafter a voice
JACKIE
(Shouts to all)
Get down on the @#%$ floor, now.
We see a CU. Of the woman holding the shotgun now FREEZE FRAME, Jackie Brown, she's twenty eight, an very attractive young woman.
The camera exit FREEZE FRAME and continue filming.
We can hear screams in the background over the screams you hear another voice.
QUINN (OS)
Get down on the @#%$ floor right now, or I will splatter your brain all over the wall back there.
Camera is going to CU. Of the second woman, Quinnie Brown, twenty five, long black hair, attractive young woman; the camera goes to CU. Of her face, we see that she is wearing an eye patch over one of her eyes.
The camera moves out of CU. We see the both sisters in a SPLIT SCREEN Jackie on the left holding her shotgun, Quinn on the right screen holding a .45 in a tight grip.
CREDIT SEQUENCE:
When the credit sequence is finished, we FADE TO BLACK:
Over the BLACK we hear the sound of SCREAMS, we can hear two shots then someone yells
JACKIE
(OS)
Shut the @#%$ up, everybody just shut the @#%$ up.
CUT TO:
INT: BANK - DAY
Jackie steps down off the desk she was standing on, we see Quinn do the same.
We see Jackie walk across the room and look out of the windows, witch is covered by curtains, she lift one of the curtains to the side just a little bit, just enough so she could look out, she saw cars rolling down the street nothing that was different of other days, not yet anyway.
She walked away from the window; she walked along to the wall till she reached a desk, she walked around it and straight forward till she was standing face to face with Quinn, she looked deeply into her eyes before she finally said anything.
JACKIE
(to Quinn)
Go and see if you can find the manager Of this shithole.
QUINN
I'm right at it, sis.
We see when Quinn steps out of the FRAME.
Jackie steps to wards the group of people, but stops a few steps away from the hostages, she patrol before the hostage, the camera follows her for a while before we see a 360 of the bank, the camera stops on a guy in security suit in the corner of the bank, the camera goes into a CU. Of the guy, we see him standing in the corner the name tag on his chest says that his name is Francies… Francies Worley, he don't look very old maybe 28-29 years old,
Is this a good beginning on a movie, Please feedback what you think.