a good start..looking for feed back

He was eight years old on Valentines Day
running home to momma
to show her what he made
He was so excited
He was going to fast
He tripped and tore that paper heart in half

Oh he just couldn't bear-
how could life be so unfair

a little girl was watching from across the way
she walked up to him' said it'll be ok
look what I have
she handed him some tape

Then she smiled
just smiled
he was so surprised
he looked up at her and replied
if your here to mend my broken heart
your off to a good start

It was ten years later on Valentine's Day
there was a dance at school
and he had a date
he was so excited when he arrived that night
till he saw her kissing another guy

oh he just couldn't bear-
how could life be so unfair

Then he saw his best friend
he'd known since he was eight
she walked up to him said it'll be ok
Can I have this Dance?
Hey what do ya say?

Then she smiled
just smiled
He was so surprised
He was seeing her in a diffrent light
(he said) if your here to mend my broken heart
your off to a good start

It was five years later on Valentine's Day
He was rushing home to her
with a diamond ring
He was so excited
He was driving too fast
The call came in
and broke her heart in half

Oh she just couldn't bear-
how could life be so unfair

Nine months later she gave birth to their son
The nurse handed him to her and said'well done
He reached out his hand
and grabbed onto her thumb

Then she smile,
just smiled
oh he had his Daddy's eyes
she looked down at him and cried
If your here to mend my broken heart
your off to a good start.

---I know it seems long, It's a country song I wrote years ago, It has a melody, when it's sung it sounds much better. Just wanted to get some feedback from people that don't have to say they love it.

It is a country song. I wrote that in my thread. Thanks for the feedback, I don't write music, but I do want to get it recorded on a demo. Just got to find the right people.