Series of Shots

Does anybody ever use "SERIES OF SHOTS" in their screenplay format?

I have alot of scenes of a little boy observing his mother doing alot of different things, in one scene, in continuous action sequence. If I write the action, it becomes one huge long paragraph, which I'm told is a no no.

Any suggestions or examples of screenplays that use this technique so I can see it on paper would be great. I could post the scene if interested.

Thanks gigi

How many arms does the mother have?

Answer that question first, then it will all become clear.

If not, then just right "MONTAGE:" at the top and bullet each of the things she does as a separate action line. Then write, "END MONTAGE." at the end.

Or, "COOL STUFF:" and "END COOL STUFF."

I have alot of scenes of a little boy observing his mother doing alot of different things, in one scene, in continuous action sequence. If I write the action, it becomes one huge long paragraph, which I'm told is a no no.

Just asking, how many actions does she perform? You can't refine them to bare details, e.g.

He watches as his mother chops carrots; chops an onion; chops a turnip; cuts her thumb and sucks it; catches a chicken and wrings its neck; plucks the chicken; chops up the chicken; throws everything into a boiling pot.

Shrug, depends what she's doing I suppose, and I'm not allergic to SERIES OF SHOTS or MONTAGE but they do tend to make me remember I'm reading a script instead of watching a story unfold.

-Derek

what about sluglines and times of day and character and dialogue elements? those always remind me im readin a script. :lol

but yeah, what dpat said, it's totally cool. series of shots or montage. frankly i prefer series of shots--it just sounds, i dunno, less pretentious.

int. kitchen -- day

karen walks in with both arms full and puts down the bags.

SERIES OF SHOTS:

karen chops vegetables
karen puts a pot on the stove
the kids come in to "help" but she shoos them out
the food's ready!
karen lays out the table with silverware and linen

the lights are dim, the dining table is laid out for a romantic dinner and karen wipes her forehead, exhausted.

series of shots

from my understanding a montage=series of shots used to show a passing of time, ex: birth of baby, rolling over, first steps, kindergarten.

series of shots=takes place in one location and concerns the same actions.

Here's an example of one of my scenes:

EXT. ESTATE GROUNDS -- LATER

SERIES OF SHOTS

1.) Ethan is riding the four wheeler driving it slow and cautiously wearing an oversized helmet. He drives around the farmhouse to his hiding place.

2.) He sees an old white car pull up to the mailbox. He studies the woman as she take out the envelope, open it, count the money, and flip it over and read what his mom wrote. She shakes her head and writes on the envelope too.

3.) He sees her pull something out of her bra and stick it in the envelope. She sticks the envelope in the mailbox, backs her car in the drive way and drives off in the same direction from which she came.

4.) He starts the four wheelers engine then sees his mom dart down the driveway in her car, hop out in a hurry, grab the envelope out of the mailbox and run back to the car. She opens it, takes the stuff out and stick it in her camisole. She turns the envelope over and reads it. Crumbles it up and reverses back to the house.

are my descriptions too long. It's all pretty essential to the story.

Any suggestions? thanks

Re: series of shots

Um...you haven't really described a "series of shots" as it is usually meant. You've simply described action taking place in the same scene.

"Series of shots" and "Montage" (oftentimes meaning the same thing) involve shots that show different activities that are somehow related (to put it in simplified terms). And, yes, it usually involves an extended passage of time. Think of them as "highlights." You could use this device to quickly show the development of a romantic relationship over time, for example.

What you have here, in contrast, is a very long block of action/narrative from the same scene that you've simply broken up into separate portions (for some unknown reason).

A simple rewrite into one, normal-looking scene might look something like this:

EXT. ESTATE GROUNDS -- LATER

Ethan slowly sputters around the farm house on his fourwheeler. He stops behind some brush and pushes his ridiculously oversized helmet from his eyes as he peeks over a bush.

AT THE END OF THE DRIVEWAY,

an old, white car pulls up to the mailbox. The WOMAN behind the wheel flips it open and retrieves an envelope from inside. Ethan watches as she pulls a wad of cash from the envelope counts it furiously. She flips it over and scans what's written on the back. She mouths some four-letter words as she angrily scribbles a response.

She pulls something from her bra, shoves it in the envelope, and stuffs it in the mailbox. She slams the lid shut, backs her car out of the drive way, and speeds off.

As Ethan starts his four wheeler, he notices his mom's car dart down the driveway. His mom reaches from the car window and grabs the envelope from the mailbox.

INSIDE THE CAR,

she empties the envelope and stuffs the contents in her camisole. She flips the envelope over and reads it. She furiously crumbles it and speeds back to the house in reverse.

Click to expand...

Or not.

Okay, this rewrite sucks, too.

Big time.

But, I was trying to keep your original wording and language (it's not how I would've written it, but it's not my story). Do you see how what you have is not really a "series of shots" at all, but actually just a few blocks of action narrative?

I have no idea why you were trying to write it as a series because what you have is one continuous scene.

*Shrug*

But, what do I know?

Re: series of shots

thanks, that was helpful. I am a first time screenwriter with 3 novels under my belt. I have a hard time keeping my actions short and to the point...and I have no idea how to format anything. I'm using Movie Magic Software and still clueless.

What about this?
INT. LEXI'S CAR -- NIGHT

Screen is black. Overhead light comes on in car. Franz Ferdinand's "Take me Out" begins.

SERIES OF SHOTS LEXI'S P.O.V.

1.) Lexi's eyes flash in the rear view mirror. Then lips. Applies lipstick. Smile.

2.) Car door opens, long leg in short skirt with knee high stilettos

3.) Car door slams.

4.) Lexi checks herself out in the reflection of her shiny black jaguar convertible, smiles vainly and tosses her keys to the valet.

55 sec into song

5.) Lexi struts down a New York street past a long line of people waiting behind a red rope

6.) A bouncer smiles and kisses her cheek and opens the door to the club for her.

7.) Doorman greets Lexi and escorts her to a reserved table where 2 gorgeous couples, dressed to the nines in very trendy couture and expensive jewelry are drinking champagne.

FULL SHOT LEXI -- CONTINUOUS

LEXI, a young 33, ice blue eyes, long dark hair, tall and thin.

SERIES OF SHOTS

1.) One couple slides out to let Lexi sit in the middle of the arched booth between the two men.

2.) They all kiss to greet each other and champagne is poured for Lexi.

3.) Lexi scans room and stops sharp on ROCK STAR, young and tough looking in leather pants, heavy jewelry, ring nose.

4.) Rock Star is fixated on Lexi. He smiles

5.) Lexi smiles.

MONTAGE -- Garbage's "I will love you til the day that I die"

A.) Rock Star and Lexi outside of club making out feverishly in an alley

B.) Rock Star playing guitar and singing at concert. Lexi in front row

C.) Rock Star in recording studio, Lexi on couch reading Vogue, he throws guitar pic at her, she laughs and throws magazine at him.

D.) Rock Star on top of Lexi kissing her neck and chest in jaguar with top down and door open.

E.) Rock Star and Lexi pool side sunbathing. Rock Star gets up and dives into pool, surfaces, motions for Lexi, she gets up stoops down to kiss him, he pulls her in pool. They surface making out.

F.) Rock Star and Lexi passionately making love in dark, smoky, loft, mattress on floor, no bed.

G.) Rock Star and Lexi cooking in her gourmet kitchen. Rock Star is chopping with large chef knife, he motions her over, she slides close to him and they kiss deeply as she is pressed up against him. She pulls away with a look of horror on her face. Looks down to her bleeding abdomen. Rock Star slides the bloody knife out of her flesh.

series of shots

nope - you don't get it. a "series of shots" IS a montage

your example of series of shots is just what belongs in the action paragraph

your montage example is correct

any action that takes place in one place (like the car) should be written as an action sequences. you can make paragraph breaks as an indirect way of giving camera directions/suggestions. but, don't list them like you have. that is for montage sequences only.
also...
you must know that you're ONLY writing the story and NOT any camera angles. NEVER tell the director where to put the camera or what kind of shot to use.

i don't know anything about your music. but, if you don't own the rights to it (or it's in the public domain) then you cannot use it. if the song is something you've written then you can use it. the best way to get music in there is to suggest what kind of music and suggest the tone of the song and it's impact.

you should invest in some screenwriting books and read as many scripts as you can.

write on!

It's okay to break up your paragraphs, using certain sentences for visual emphasis. like

He walks into the room and blah blah blah blahblah blah blah blahblah blah blah blahblah blah blah blahblah blah blah blahblah blah blah blahblah blah blah blahblah blah blah blahblah blah blah blah.

He picks up a knife.

He walks over to and blah blah blah blahblah blah blah blahblah blah blah blahblah blah blah blahblah blah blah blahblah blah blah blah.

Also you can use CLOSE ON: to show a certain action that is important.

I would only use a MONTAGE if it spans across a lengthy time.

Re: series of shots

i don't know anything about your music. but, if you don't own the rights to it (or it's in the public domain) then you cannot use it. if the song is something you've written then you can use it. the best way to get music in there is to suggest what kind of music and suggest the tone of the song and it's impact.

By including a song title and artist in the script, isn't the writer suggesting suitable music and tone? (Answer, yes.) If and when the film is made, someone at the production company will obtain permission and copyright clearance -- that's how songs get to appear in films, right? Or, they'll pick the song they prefer, and obtain permission and copyright clearance for that instead.

-Derek
My Web Page - naked women, bestial sex, and whopping big lies.

Re: series of shots

"i don't know anything about your music. but, if you don't own the rights to it (or it's in the public domain) then you cannot use it. if the song is something you've written then you can use it. the best way to get music in there is to suggest what kind of music and suggest the tone of the song and it's impact."

wrongo. you really can use whateva song you like. it may not end up bein the song thats used but its still ok.

music rights

of course music isn't usu decided until later during production but, by being more generic with your suggestion gives the producer a wider open door in music selection. same argument: it's like not being too physically descriptive with your characters - makes it more difficult to be cast.

i was suggesting you say something like "acid rock from the radio causes Kim to go into convulsions" or something like that. - suggests tone of the music and it's integral to the story

if the music isn't integral to the story then leave it out. it's not the writer's job to select the score.