Can full lyrics be in descriptive?

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FJ and G

Obviously, a common or well-known song should probably not be in the descriptive, merely something like this:

She sang "America the Beautiful."

However, in the case of my screenplay, I have a Civil War-era song: “Lilly and Her Solider."

I have written out the entire song in the descriptive, rather than just the title.

The reason I wrote it all out is:

1. The song is somewhat obscure
2. I indicate that a certain person sings a particular stanza and then others join in.
3. The song, a Union song, is being sung by Confederate troops, who've altered some of the words to suit their side, a common practice at the time.

Also, after the song, I give a short explanation as follows:

(written in May 1863 in the North, and slightly modified by the Rebs).

Questions:

1. Is it OK to write out an entire song?
2. Is it ok to give a brief explanation?
 

NikeeGoddess

lyrics

1 - in the dialogue put lyrics in italics - and just put in the section they actually sing. if part of it is focused on and then others sing it in the background while dialogue is going on then say so in the action paragraph ie - "the singing fades into the b.g."

2 - no explanations!

write on!
 

maestrowork

Re: lyrics

What Nikee said in #1.

E.g.

Code: 
                               MARY
                    [i]Row, row, row your boat, gently down
                       the stream...[/i]

She keeps on singing while walking down the path littered with corpses of Confederate soldiers.

                               MARY (cont'd)
                   [i]Merrily, merrily, merrily, life is but a dream[/i]
 

joecalabre

I agree with everyone below, but I have to put my two cents in.

As a rule of thumb, most producers don't like to see lyrics in a script for a number of reasons.

1st, even though your song is very old and is most likely public domain, they will have to go through the extensive process of checking for clearances anyway. It is this work that makes them weary, especially in the early stage of deciding a script.

2nd, if they don't like the lyrics or song, that may taint their overall impression of the scene.

3rd. If it has nothing to do with the story, it will be perceived as useless dialog and will make your writing look, on the surface, as amaturish.

Why give them any opportunity to turn away from your script.

Basically, I would just put in the action, "the confederate soldiers sing a rousing rendition of a union song, but changed some words to mock their enemy.
 

maestrowork

Well, I kind of agree and disagree. If your song is vital to the plot or the character, by all means write it. It's part of the dialogue. Let the production company (if it comes to that, congrats!) decide about song rights. Usually studios have blanket agreements to use songs and lyrics anyway.

If it's irrelevant, then leave it out. Make every word count.

But don't butcher your script by leaving things out just because you're afraid someone might not like it.

It is more vivid and evocative to actually write out the lyrics than saying "they change the lyrics of the union song to mock..." what changes?" What lyrics? What union song? Those who read the script will be dumbfounded. They can't see it, and they can't hear it in their head.

For example, read the script of Pirates of Carribean. It opens with the girl singing a specific song. Without the action lyrics, the scene would lose some impact. It's a specific song for a specific scene.
 

EggMcGuffin

i agree w/ maestro. i dont believe producers dont like readin scripts with lyrics in them for all those reasons. when theyre readin a script, theyre readin to see if they have a movie. those other things are all logistical problems that can be easily changed around, from their pov. no ones gonna pass on the script cos they didnt like the song. if thats the reason they gave, they were just lookin for a way to say the writin wasnt good or they didnt like the story. |I
 

joecalabre

Don't get me wrong I agree with everyone's points. Sure, POC opens with a song, but then again that's not a spec script-- and that's what were talking about.

Spec scripts are a breed apart and are governed by separate rules. Producers are deluged with thousands per year (actually their readers are first-- the producers only ever see the cream of the crop) Readers are so conditioned to take points off for every little thing that signals amateur. Lyrics being one of those studio pet peeves. My point is be careful to not give any ammo to the reader. Professional readers generally don't care how good the story is. they surgically pull from your script notes they can check of in neat boxes and sum up in a report. They knock off points for the stupidest little things. Again, lyrics is but one of them. Why give them ammo?

BUT TO SAY AGAIN from an earlier reply. If it is important to the story and the lyrics give meaning to the reader in the context of the character, plot, etc.. THEN USE IT. But if you are just adding flavor for the time period, then it's best not to.

It's your call, but this is the way I was told when I did coverage for a producer and this is what I have read and heard countless times from others.

Bottom line... Go with your heart and what is best for the story.
 

Hamboogul

The specs aren't governed by a different set of standards. I think the reader expectation of specs are lower because they are written on spec... hence most likely to have been written by non-professionals who are not of the same caliber as the paid writers in this business. Of course, there are exceptions.
 
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