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Tantalicious Iscariot, the Night Pirate arachnid, the wood spider I awoke to find in my mouth during my stay in Richmond, died bravely in battle at approximately 10:25 am of Nov. 17th.
I was taking him for his daily walk and meal (I put him on mother's bed and let him go nuts for about 15 minutes, then I hold the jar up to the bottom of the door and he comes crawling back). Once I figured he was been satied, i put the jar up to the crease in the door. No spider came. I waited there, with the jar held open for a few minutes, figuring he was taking his time, but still, nothing. I opened the door a smidge to see my mother, the Beast, scooping up my dead, squashed friend with a piece of paper. I was heartbroken, and knew I had lost a dear friend.
Let's take a moment for Tantalicious Iscariot.
He was a lovable wood spider. He loved cleaning teeth and sucking the life from my mother's veins while she napped. He never bit me, despite all the time we had together, and he always had a spier-y smile on his spider-y face. We met when he first decided to clean my teeth, before telling me of his dreams of becoming a dentist. He loved getting jiggy to the sweet rhythms of The Kinks and and The Monkees, and he indulged on the occasional cricket (Spooky, that's your cue). He was a very self-conscious spider, always thumbing through the magazines for new fashion tips and weight-loss programs, but he really was very fit for his age.
Oh, Tantalicious Iscariot, the Night Pirate arachnid, we shall remember you always as the happy, healthy, thriving wood spider we've known and loved for about a week, give or take some.
Be at peace, my blessed fanged blood sucker. Be at peace.
I was taking him for his daily walk and meal (I put him on mother's bed and let him go nuts for about 15 minutes, then I hold the jar up to the bottom of the door and he comes crawling back). Once I figured he was been satied, i put the jar up to the crease in the door. No spider came. I waited there, with the jar held open for a few minutes, figuring he was taking his time, but still, nothing. I opened the door a smidge to see my mother, the Beast, scooping up my dead, squashed friend with a piece of paper. I was heartbroken, and knew I had lost a dear friend.
Let's take a moment for Tantalicious Iscariot.
He was a lovable wood spider. He loved cleaning teeth and sucking the life from my mother's veins while she napped. He never bit me, despite all the time we had together, and he always had a spier-y smile on his spider-y face. We met when he first decided to clean my teeth, before telling me of his dreams of becoming a dentist. He loved getting jiggy to the sweet rhythms of The Kinks and and The Monkees, and he indulged on the occasional cricket (Spooky, that's your cue). He was a very self-conscious spider, always thumbing through the magazines for new fashion tips and weight-loss programs, but he really was very fit for his age.
Oh, Tantalicious Iscariot, the Night Pirate arachnid, we shall remember you always as the happy, healthy, thriving wood spider we've known and loved for about a week, give or take some.
Be at peace, my blessed fanged blood sucker. Be at peace.
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I think she means "I love those little fluff balls of shared genes!"
R.I.P.Tantalicious Iscariot. May you have an abundance of flies and teeth in spider heaven. 
