Fruit cake.
Yes I know. I've heard it all before, but trust me MY fruit cake is sublime and since we are friends here, I will let you in on a little known fact - the sawdust blocks with the neon coloured crayon fruits called "fruit cake' is actually a nefarious plot "cooked" up by TSSOFL (the secret society of fruit cake lovers) to hand out to people, to actively discourage anyone from wanting to eat fruit cake. That way, if fruit cake is offered, people hastily back away - and if you plan it well (say for when the idiot neighbours come carolling and refuse to leave) they back up all the way to their own homes (and while we do try to use our powers for good not evil, but what ever works - our motto is all the more for TSSOFL)
As for my recipe, it contains only dried REAL fruit like raisins, currants, apricots, dates, figs and cranberries cut into itsy pieces and marinated in sherry for a month. Then when sufficiently boozy (erratically flying fruit flies is a good sign) it's held together with a batter made with butter, sugar, the merest smidge of flour, some spice, nuts and a bit more sherry. Baked, it is then wrapped in cloth that is soaked in yet again more sherry and allowed to sit for a few weeks - taken out at intervals to be doused with more sherry of course. Wonderful - but mine ALL MINE.
*note to self* stock up on sawdust and crayon supply, and since I let the cat out of the bag, inform TSSOFL members of the new double secret handshake.