areWHYaEN
I dont have a name for the script yet, though I have the whole story planned out. Its basically about, a girl who was abused when she was young, and fights all odds to get out of her house and succeed. The story will follow her through the ages of 10-18.
THIS IS THE VERY FIRST SCENE I have even attempted to write and complete. So naturally, there MUST be alot of mistakes and flaws. So please point them out, and I would like opinions from all you professionals!
Scene 1: " It was almost like any other night”
INT. Living Room-Night
A little girl sits alone in the hallway. Only source of light only coming from a television. A couch sits between the television and the little girl in the hallway. The mother and father of the little girl are sitting on the couch. You hear the television show in the background, it is a cowboy movie but the weeping of the little girl stands out more. The Girl, named CINDY, starts to cry harder. The father of the little girl stands up
Father:
I told that bitch to shut up.
(He says to the mother)
The father turns on a lamp standing next to the couch, as it flickers in and out. You see the father, fat man, chest hair, bald head, lack of proper hygiene. He is wearing a wife-beater and some blue jeans. He walks around the couch and stands in front of his daughter. You then see the daughter, who is ten years old, with an evident “abuse” mark on her face. She is wearing a white nightgown. You are only able to see the back of the mothers head. The mother continues to stay glued to the television, as the daughter starts the cry harder at the sight of the father.
Father:
I told you to shut up right?
(Cindy doesn’t answer, she continues to cry)
Father:
Didn’t I tell you what would happen if you didn’t shut up?
(Cindy’s begins to stop crying)
Cindy:
But my tummy aches. I want to eat.
Father:
I gave you a sandwich. Its your fault your hungry
(He shrugs his arms carelessly)
Cindy:
It had that moldy stuff on it!
Father:
It was all we had.
Cindy:
But you and mommy bought chicken.
(She says nervously)
(Grabs Cindy, she screams and begins to cry)
Father:
We aren’t gonna use the money I WORKED for on an accident like you. So while your living under MY roof, I’ll feed you whatever the @#%$ I want and do it whenever the @#%$ I want to.
Throws Cindy on the floor. Cindy continues to cry. The mother turns around and checks what’s going on. She looks at Cindy who gives her mother a cry for help. The mother looks like a hooker. The big hair, the overly used makeup, and obvious evidence of drug abuse. The mother turns back around and watches her TV again.
Father:
I SAID SHUT UP!
(He says to Cindy)
The father grabs Cindy by the hair and pulls her down the hallway. Cindy screams and cries and tries to resist. The father reaches the end of the hallway opens the closet door. There’s nothing in the closet but a wire hanger hanging on the rack. He throws her in there and locks the door. Its completely dark, and all you hear is the TV in the background and Cindy crying.
Cindy:
Daddy?
(She ask anxiously as she tries stop crying)
Cindy knocks on the door, trying to get out.
Cindy:
DADDY!!!!
(Begins to cry again)
The closet door opens. Father pulls her out and throws her across hallway as Cindy hits the wall. He grabs the wire hanger
Cindy:
No please. PLEASE DADDY! I’ll stop. I swear! Please don’t do it!!!
The father thrust his arm back and smacks Cindy across the face with the wire hanger as some blood flies on her fathers wife-beater. He cuts Cindy’s cheek. She screams and cries.
THIS IS THE VERY FIRST SCENE I have even attempted to write and complete. So naturally, there MUST be alot of mistakes and flaws. So please point them out, and I would like opinions from all you professionals!
Scene 1: " It was almost like any other night”
INT. Living Room-Night
A little girl sits alone in the hallway. Only source of light only coming from a television. A couch sits between the television and the little girl in the hallway. The mother and father of the little girl are sitting on the couch. You hear the television show in the background, it is a cowboy movie but the weeping of the little girl stands out more. The Girl, named CINDY, starts to cry harder. The father of the little girl stands up
Father:
I told that bitch to shut up.
(He says to the mother)
The father turns on a lamp standing next to the couch, as it flickers in and out. You see the father, fat man, chest hair, bald head, lack of proper hygiene. He is wearing a wife-beater and some blue jeans. He walks around the couch and stands in front of his daughter. You then see the daughter, who is ten years old, with an evident “abuse” mark on her face. She is wearing a white nightgown. You are only able to see the back of the mothers head. The mother continues to stay glued to the television, as the daughter starts the cry harder at the sight of the father.
Father:
I told you to shut up right?
(Cindy doesn’t answer, she continues to cry)
Father:
Didn’t I tell you what would happen if you didn’t shut up?
(Cindy’s begins to stop crying)
Cindy:
But my tummy aches. I want to eat.
Father:
I gave you a sandwich. Its your fault your hungry
(He shrugs his arms carelessly)
Cindy:
It had that moldy stuff on it!
Father:
It was all we had.
Cindy:
But you and mommy bought chicken.
(She says nervously)
(Grabs Cindy, she screams and begins to cry)
Father:
We aren’t gonna use the money I WORKED for on an accident like you. So while your living under MY roof, I’ll feed you whatever the @#%$ I want and do it whenever the @#%$ I want to.
Throws Cindy on the floor. Cindy continues to cry. The mother turns around and checks what’s going on. She looks at Cindy who gives her mother a cry for help. The mother looks like a hooker. The big hair, the overly used makeup, and obvious evidence of drug abuse. The mother turns back around and watches her TV again.
Father:
I SAID SHUT UP!
(He says to Cindy)
The father grabs Cindy by the hair and pulls her down the hallway. Cindy screams and cries and tries to resist. The father reaches the end of the hallway opens the closet door. There’s nothing in the closet but a wire hanger hanging on the rack. He throws her in there and locks the door. Its completely dark, and all you hear is the TV in the background and Cindy crying.
Cindy:
Daddy?
(She ask anxiously as she tries stop crying)
Cindy knocks on the door, trying to get out.
Cindy:
DADDY!!!!
(Begins to cry again)
The closet door opens. Father pulls her out and throws her across hallway as Cindy hits the wall. He grabs the wire hanger
Cindy:
No please. PLEASE DADDY! I’ll stop. I swear! Please don’t do it!!!
The father thrust his arm back and smacks Cindy across the face with the wire hanger as some blood flies on her fathers wife-beater. He cuts Cindy’s cheek. She screams and cries.