Writing visions of the future...

I'm working on a script where a character has quick glimpses of future events. She sees these visions in vivid detail, but they're only sudden flashes (like a flash bulb going off). What's the best way to format this? I've been doing it within action. Like this example:

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Sarah closes her eyes and immediately sees another vision. This time, a quick flash of John, smiling. His face is bloody. Sarah gasps and opens her eyes.

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Please let me know if you believe there's a better way to show this type of thing. Thanks.

My two cents. I would do it like this...

Sarah closes her eyes.

INSERT: SARAH'S P.O.V.
John smiles. His face is bloody.
(tab as transition) FLASH TO WHITE:

BACK TO SCENE: Sarah gasps as she opens her eyes.

This is kind of a style choice.
There really isn't a right or wrong way to do it.
You'll just have to play around with a couple of different ways and see which one you like the best.

If you establish right away in earlier scenes that she is having a vision then it will be clear when it happens again
LONG as you follow the same pattern.
Don't mix it up.
Once you settle on a method stick with it for the whole script.

The way you have it makes it real quick and leaves a lot up to the director which is okay. If you've included all the details we need to know, that something will happen to John, that is what matters.
The more details you need to reveal then the longer the flash will be. A longer flash will require a bit more structuring. You might want to stack the action lines to really hit key details.
Stacking looks like this.

Sarah closes her eyes.
John's face appears, bloody, pale.
Slowly he pitches forward. Dead as a doornail.

If you really want to punch up the event and add in some "effects" (like the white flash) then you can use Joe's example.
This kind of format will increase your page count.
If the script is running short this will help pad it out.
[it's a cheat but acceptable.]
If it's too long you'll want to condense as much as possible.

yep - there is no right or wrong way to write this. however, some ways are better than others. but, as long as it's very clear and understandable to the reader then you can really write it the way you want. but, you can also find a script that has a similar scene and copy that style.

write on!

coincidentally, I have used "visions" in my screenplay, tho not future visions. Instead, visions of people who are not present but who exist in a remote location. I don't know if it is correct, but here's how I handled it. I wrote in the description that he's about to see visions. How that is executed I decided to leave up to the director:

Billy sees visions.

LILLY
You coward, Billy. You are not man enough to bear my children.

MORRIS
I’m very disappointed in you, Billy. You are no longer my son.

Scripter and the others are right. As with many things in writing a script, there is no right way. Consistant and clear is about the only rule to follow.

As for adding page count, yes it will doing it my way, but I also want to bring up a visual way of writing that I think many new writer's have trouble with. I find a lot of newbies use large blocks of paragraphs that make it hard to read blend after a while.

Laying things out on the page is an art form in itself and is almost important as the writing itself. Separating certain lines and beats, I feel, not only give white space and makes it easier to read but more important-- punctuates and directs the reader in some instances that it really needs to be.

Again, as with everything I say, take it as opinion and my particular style.

gbelleh

like it. it's done without editing or camera directions and reads well. is easy to understand. would avoid stuff like CUT TO, and POV shots if possible - and here i think it is


zilla

Joe,

I was thinking about this the other night.
I'm a big fan of page lay out. I like to see open spaces in the script, a variety of white and black combinations.

Your example would open up the script and break up chunks of actions.

Hopefully these visions will be carefully placed so that you don't get every other page or so with that one little block standing out.

It's important to create an even, balanced layout.

I agree. Balance is key. It shouldn't look like a novel (all black) and not like a technical manual (all uniform and stiff) either.

As for my methods, I like to take chunks of action and put a line (or a word) separate from the rest, to punctuate or emphasize an action.

Example.

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INT. BOB'S LIVING ROOM - NIGHT

Bob walks in, loosens his tie and grabs a bottle of brandy from the cabinet.

After searching endlessly for a clean glass on the littered coffee table, he plops down onto the couch, shrugs his shoulders and drinks straight from the bottle.

Gulp!

Bob smiles as the warm liqueur slides down his throat.

BOB
Man. That's just what I needed...

----

I almost always tend to make the first sentence in every scene stand by itself.

I use a specific action (like Gulp) by itself to punctuate the action. I know it pads the script, but I compensate by keeping the sentences short and to the point. I feel it all balances out in the end.

I like to think of it the same as telling a campfire tale. You pause, raise your voice, whisper and even make hand gestures at various parts of your story. It adds atmosphere and helps the listener (or reader in this case) feel like he is being told. It's a suttle way of directing your reader.

What works for me, may not for others.

She sees these visions in vivid detail, but they're only sudden flashes (like a flash bulb going off).

Click to expand...

Using that have you considered:

INT. FRONT ROOM - DAY

Sarah sits on the couch.

Sarah picks her drink up from the table.

Blinding flash.

INT. UNIDENTIFIABLE ROOM -- DAY

John's blood covered face, looking at her, smiling.

INT. FRONT ROOM - DAY

Sarah drops her drink.

It seems to me if you handled the first "blinding flash" correctly that is all you would need for subsequent episodes.

Technically, would the second slugline be SAME instead of DAY?
Also, if it's an obvious insert (and a short one at that), then why not use an INSERT and BACK TO SCENE: function like...


INT. FRONT ROOM - DAY

Sarah sits on the couch.

Sarah picks her drink up from the table.

Blinding flash.

INSERT: UNIDENTIFIABLE ROOM

John's blood covered face, looking at her, smiling.

BACK TO SCENE:

Sarah drops her drink.

Joe,

I like the added white-space formatting that you advocate. Makes reading a whole lot easier and allows you to emphasize and group things.

My background is journalism (I do the Army's home page now: www.army.mil) and we always try to make reading user-friendly

Thanks for all the comments. Some good ideas.

I'm learning, I'm learning:

At least my concept wasn't ridiculous, just badly formatted.

Yes you would need to put SAME in there, or CONTINUOUS.

Something else to keep in mind.
What triggers these visions?
You mentioned "like a flash bulb."

What ever the trigger is you use that as your "in" for the vision.

She's in a crowded room, a press conference, flash bulbs everywhere. She turns, flash goes off-

She sees the bloody face

She's confused, startled, turns, flash goes off -

He reaches out to her.

If at some point the visions become a short scene with more details then you can use a matchcut.

A matchcut is when you jump from one item in a scene into a brand new scene but with a similar item.
Continuing my example.

Another flash -

NEXT SCENE

A forensics officer lowers his camera. He looks at the bloody body in front of him.

You can match cut from anything that might trigger these visions. A sound, an item, a word, a picture, etc.

I'll have to dig out my Trottier's Bible, I'm not sure if you have to write in MATCH CUT or just end the scene with the item and then start the next scene matching up the item.

The general rule is to try and avoid TRANSITIONS like cut to, etc. It's better to write in such a way that the transition is natural to the pacing and clear.
I think the way I did it is fine.