Murphy's Lesser-Known Laws

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Pat~

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Please feel free to add your own ;) ...

  • Light travels faster than sound. That is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
  • He who laughs last thinks slowest.
  • Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
  • Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don’t.
  • Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.
  • If you lined up all the cars in the world, end to end, someone would still try to pass them, 5 or 6 at a time, on a hill, in the fog.
  • The things that come to those who wait will be the things left there by those who got there first.
  • Give a man a fish, and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he will sit in a boat all day drinking beer.
 

Jongfan

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Here is another

If the shoe fits, buy one exactly like it
 

NeuroFizz

The grad students did it
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There is never time to do it right, but there is always time to do it over.
 

Jongfan

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A meetings length will be directly proportioned to the boredom the speaker produces.

When a man's wife learns to understand him, she usually stops listening.

Love thy neighbor, just don't get caught.

A falling object will always fall where it can do the most damage.

Never argue with a fool, people may not know the difference.
 

JoeEkaitis

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The worse you have to pee, the slower everyone else drives.

The supervisor at work who exhorts you to "Slow down!" is usually the reason you can't.

If you ask for the same training as everyone else, you will be expected to do as much work as everyone else but without the training.

The most important factor in your periodic review is how little of everyone else's job you did.
 

NeuroFizz

The grad students did it
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For optimal efficiency, a committee should consist of three people, two of whom are absent.
 
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engmajor2005

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If your word processor auto-saves every fifteen minutes, your PC will crash after you spent 14 minutes writing a particularly tough passage.
 

PenelopePitstop

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When you are two hours late for work... it will rain on the way to the train station - this happened to me this morning so it must be true... grrrrrrrrrrr!

(I was only late cause I couldn't get out of bed and wanted to watch t.v - so I guess it's my fault)
 

Maryn

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Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.

ETA:
Maryn, who omitted her sign-off and heard plenty about it, and who should have suggested that this is very probably a George Carlinism, but she's not positive
 
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CBeasy

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The moment you get tired of waiting at the bank and change lines, the line you were in will suddenly speed up. This also applies to basically any line, ever.
 

poetinahat

say it loud
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The train you're waiting for will always arrive just after you've lit a cigarette.

(Tested repeatedly, years ago, in various Boston T stations -- back when smoking on the platform was legal)
 

A. Hamilton

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Your personal cell phone will always ring at work right when the boss stops by.
If you squeeze your mini-van into a compact parking space, a super-sized SUV will park next to you. Every time.
A fresh new zit wiill appear on your face the morning of a job interview, even if you're forty.
 

Unique

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The best tasting cup of coffee is the one you don't have time to drink.
 

Maryn

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If you kind of have to pee but are running late and decide you'll just wait until you get there (regardless of where "there" is), a major construction delay or traffic accident will have you squirming in your seat and vowing never again. Until the next time you're running late.

Maryn, been there, done that, many times
 

arrowqueen

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The things that you saved, untouched, in the attic for twenty years will be needed - three days after you've thrown them out.
 

Kentuk

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Things are always in the last place you look for them.

Actually a very handy phrase, a bit of comforting humor to the frustrated.
 

K1P1

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If left to themselves, everything will end up on the floor.

[This is actually Katz's first law, coined while I was in college, lo these many years ago.]
 

Azure Skye

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Unique said:
The best tasting cup of coffee is the one you don't have time to drink.

Always. Life is so unfair.
 

DamaNegra

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If you are waiting for someone and decide to leave alone because they aren't arriving... they'll arrive exactly 30 seconds after you left.
 

Unique

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If you decide not to answer the phone,
it will NOT be another telemarketer but the call you had been waiting for but had given up on receiving.
 

Maryn

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If you agree to meet friends at the movies and are not specific enough, one of you will buy a ticket and go in, while the other waits outside, decides the one who went in is a no-show, and goes home.

Maryn, who's seen this too many times
 
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