Well, I guess I would be the most qualified person to comment on this one. My husband and I both own and run websites for rappers. Although it's not my fave choice of music I know a lot about it by having friends in the industry (I'll keep names out of it lol) Anyway... I think your lyrics are good and the point you are making in the song came out well. This is what we would call a non-radio song. By that I mean it would never make it on the radio, it would make an album, but radio now seems to just play something you would hear in a club, you know? Unfortunatly the rap music industry has changed A LOT in the past few years and where "political" rap used to be very popular, it's now taken a back seat to "pop-rap". People hate when I say rap is pop now, but thats a whole new topic lol. I would have ended the song differently... it seems like there should be another ending line there...? I think its good though.