Don't barf too much, you might kill the spider.

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TsukiRyoko

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I woke up this morning with a weird sensation in my mouth. Kind of...furry. And prickly. And moving with a mysterious 8-fold of legs. WHat could it possibly be?

"Should I swallow it?" I thought. I didn't want the moving thing in my mouth, and from the feel of it, I didn't want to see it either.

But, I would also like to know what had been in my mouth in case I needed the appropriate shots later (whether it be vaccine or gunshot).

Finally, curiousity overwhelms me (plus, I kind of woke up a little more.) I shoot up in the bed and fling the mysterious object from my mouth to find that it's one of the biggest wood spiders I had ever seen. It was a little bigger than my entire thumb, it had it's little fangs out and was full of lovely brown fur-thingies. Nice, huh? I

I have nothing against spiders, unless they're in my mouth. As angry as I was, however,I didn't want to kill it. I decided to keep my friend in a jar and call it a pet until I go home. His name is Tantalicious Iscariot, the Night Pirate arachnid. Oh yeah. Perfect present for my beloved mother back at home.

Can anyone tell me what wood spiders eat, by the way? Other than people?
 

TsukiRyoko

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So that's either chocolate covered pretzels or toothpaste. We'll try both. :D I think he was trying to eat my tongue, actually. Perhaps I should give him a few snippets? :D

I think I'll just sneak him into my uncle's room every night for a few minutes and let him scarf on a nice vein for a while.
 

Tilly

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Is it safe to tape your mouth shut for while you're asleep?

::hunts for tape::
 

dahmnait

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When you figure it out, will you let me know?
eww...

I tried hunting up a picture of a wood spider, just to give perspective. But I found a picture of some woman with a spider crawling out of her mouth. I'm not posting the link. You all do not deserve the nightmares that picture is going to give me. They are crawling on me now! ahhh....ewww

Pass the tape please!
 

paprikapink

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And here I was feeling sorry for myself because the cat woke me up at 4am by barfing on the floor next to my bed.

Perspective! Now I see I how blessed I am!
 

Bmwhtly

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Interesting fact, Wood Spiders are repelled by the smell of garlic.
So if you don't want them crawling into your mouth (and laying eggs) make sure you eat plenty of garlic before you go to bed. No need to :Ssh:



:e2brows:
 

TsukiRyoko

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Better they lay eggs in my mouth than inside my ear like some spiders like to do, or under my skin like some African flies do. :D

I'll be sure to bath in a lovely garlic paste before bed every night. Maybe the spider repellent will eb a good bum and creepy-toothless-guy repellent as well.
 

TsukiRyoko

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Oh, wood spiders are BIG babies indeed.

0203-0602-0801-3424_TN.jpg

This is the closest thing I could find to it. Mine was fatter and a little more furry. I don't knwo the real name of the spider, all I know is that in VA and WV, they are called wood spiders because that's where they live. Everywhere there's wood. :D

Imagine that baby tap dancing in your mouth, eh?
 

PeeDee

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on St. Croix, we used to get the most massively terrifying wood spiders. The scariest were the spiders that crawled out of the dense jungle that fills up the island. They were pure science fiction.

Down there, it wasn't uncommon to wake up with things in your bed (though I successfully did not have anything in my mouth, nor did I get Blackrot from the blackflies). Spiders, big cockroaches, millipedes.

I have no problem with any of them. I certainly didn't kill them (I don't kill anything). HOWEVER....don't even talk to me about centipedes. Big twelve inch centipedes. They scare the bejeebers out of me.
 

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My wife swears she saw a spider crawl out of my buttockal region once.

She felt sorry for the little fella.
 

SpookyWriter

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And I thought I had bug problems. Good thing we only have black bugs around these parts.
 

Jaycinth

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Same Psychosis...different day.
Seems like a nice enough spider, but I don't want it tap-dancing in my mouth unless it's had lessons. No, not even a Tango.....
 

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TsukiRyoko said:
I woke up this morning with a weird sensation in my mouth. Kind of...furry. And prickly. And moving with a mysterious 8-fold of legs. WHat could it possibly be?

"Should I swallow it?" I thought. I didn't want the moving thing in my mouth, and from the feel of it, I didn't want to see it either.

But, I would also like to know what had been in my mouth in case I needed the appropriate shots later (whether it be vaccine or gunshot).

Finally, curiousity overwhelms me (plus, I kind of woke up a little more.) I shoot up in the bed and fling the mysterious object from my mouth to find that it's one of the biggest wood spiders I had ever seen. It was a little bigger than my entire thumb, it had it's little fangs out and was full of lovely brown fur-thingies. Nice, huh? I

I have nothing against spiders, unless they're in my mouth. As angry as I was, however,I didn't want to kill it. I decided to keep my friend in a jar and call it a pet until I go home. His name is Tantalicious Iscariot, the Night Pirate arachnid. Oh yeah. Perfect present for my beloved mother back at home.

Can anyone tell me what wood spiders eat, by the way? Other than people?

Wow, this is exactly what I would have done. Except it probably would have happened from start to finish in about 0.0000005 seconds.
 

dclary

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TsukiRyoko said:
When did you get a wife? :)

The more important question is when can I get rid of her?

(actually, I probably got a wife just shortly after you got a physical residence for your wonderful soul. We've been married almost 15 years now)
 

TsukiRyoko

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:roll: Call her fat, then give her flowers, then take her to dinner, then beat her with the flowers and play a one-sided food fight match with her, bombarding her with every available item there. Works like a charm for me. :)

15 years? Far too long! Go find fresh meat! (I'm going to hell soon, I can feel the flames a-burning....)
 
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