Ok, guys and gals, I have an issue here that I desperately need GOOD solid advice for. My niece Ashley is in a very bad way. I am limited in my experience with this sort of thing so I'm hoping someone out there will know some things I just don't have a clue about.
Background on this situation:
My sister lost her first husband and Ashley lost her father to cancer when Ashley was 11. My sister quickly remarried to a guy who had the best of intentions but no follow-through for difficult situations.
Ashley was raised in a very above average income household where everything was handed to her except discipline. She always reached out to any guy, really, for attention since her dad died. One guy handed her a pill and that began her battle with drug addiction. She's been in and out of rehab several times. After 4 years or so of different rehab programs, she seems to finally really be trying very hard to keep her life together. She was in one for a year in Louisiana and that one seems to have been the most dramatic help. She slips sometimes, but by and large, she is doing much better.
She's battled with school. She went for a while and dropped out, her mom and step-dad always paying her way out of whatever situation. She was spoiled. No getting around that. Thing is, now she is hungry and has no clue how to help herself.
She got a student loan on her own to go back to school. She's going every day and only has about 3 months or so until she graduates. Her mom and step-dad have dumped her in a strange town in Florida - FAR from home - where she only has one relative - my brother. My brother is just about over "being there' for her and her mom has now told her that he hates her. That's ridiculous, but now she feels that she has NO one where she is.
Now, they set her up in a nice apartment in a gated community and paid up her rent until the end of the year. She had a job, but when she went back to school they weren't able to work with her with flexible hours so she chose to drop the job and stay with school. I'm torn about that one because she NEEDS school. Her future depends on it. but she also needs to eat.
She called last night, hungry. You can imagine, it broke my heart. I'm sending her out a care package today with food and personal items to help her get by. Beyond that, I just don't know how to advise her!!!
Like I said, she was raised in a VERY privelaged home. But she learned no responsibility and now her mom and step dad have abandoned her. She's like a little lost puppy out there and she's so far away from me that I can't help her on a daily basis. Lord knows I'd feed her every day if I were there. It may be hard to feel sorry for someone who didn't learn how to take care of herself - she's 23. But she didn't learn because her mother never taught her. She bought her things and never taught her how to be a human being on her own.
I'm so afraid that she will fall and go back to drugs out of desperation, thinking she has no options and wanting to escape her reality. I want to be able to advise her but i don't know how without being there. In a perfect world, my brother - her uncle - would be able to help, but let's just say that he isn't able. Emotionally, he isn't able to deal with her problems. She's going to have to help herself.
It breaks my heart. She is a product of financial parenting. Always getting money and things handed to her until they cut her off. They never prepared her for life outside their pockets and now they have abandoned her.
Does anyone have any advice? I don't even know where to tell her to look for part-time work to help her make ends meet until she graduates. I'm fully prepared to send her a care package every week, if necessary, so that she doesn't go hungry. I want her to learn how to stand up and help herself.
I know that there have to be temporary assistance programs in the Cocoa Florida area, but I have no idea what and where. I did find the address for her to go and apply for temporary food stamps. That might help some.
Does anyone have any other advice?
Background on this situation:
My sister lost her first husband and Ashley lost her father to cancer when Ashley was 11. My sister quickly remarried to a guy who had the best of intentions but no follow-through for difficult situations.
Ashley was raised in a very above average income household where everything was handed to her except discipline. She always reached out to any guy, really, for attention since her dad died. One guy handed her a pill and that began her battle with drug addiction. She's been in and out of rehab several times. After 4 years or so of different rehab programs, she seems to finally really be trying very hard to keep her life together. She was in one for a year in Louisiana and that one seems to have been the most dramatic help. She slips sometimes, but by and large, she is doing much better.
She's battled with school. She went for a while and dropped out, her mom and step-dad always paying her way out of whatever situation. She was spoiled. No getting around that. Thing is, now she is hungry and has no clue how to help herself.
She got a student loan on her own to go back to school. She's going every day and only has about 3 months or so until she graduates. Her mom and step-dad have dumped her in a strange town in Florida - FAR from home - where she only has one relative - my brother. My brother is just about over "being there' for her and her mom has now told her that he hates her. That's ridiculous, but now she feels that she has NO one where she is.
Now, they set her up in a nice apartment in a gated community and paid up her rent until the end of the year. She had a job, but when she went back to school they weren't able to work with her with flexible hours so she chose to drop the job and stay with school. I'm torn about that one because she NEEDS school. Her future depends on it. but she also needs to eat.
She called last night, hungry. You can imagine, it broke my heart. I'm sending her out a care package today with food and personal items to help her get by. Beyond that, I just don't know how to advise her!!!
Like I said, she was raised in a VERY privelaged home. But she learned no responsibility and now her mom and step dad have abandoned her. She's like a little lost puppy out there and she's so far away from me that I can't help her on a daily basis. Lord knows I'd feed her every day if I were there. It may be hard to feel sorry for someone who didn't learn how to take care of herself - she's 23. But she didn't learn because her mother never taught her. She bought her things and never taught her how to be a human being on her own.
I'm so afraid that she will fall and go back to drugs out of desperation, thinking she has no options and wanting to escape her reality. I want to be able to advise her but i don't know how without being there. In a perfect world, my brother - her uncle - would be able to help, but let's just say that he isn't able. Emotionally, he isn't able to deal with her problems. She's going to have to help herself.
It breaks my heart. She is a product of financial parenting. Always getting money and things handed to her until they cut her off. They never prepared her for life outside their pockets and now they have abandoned her.
Does anyone have any advice? I don't even know where to tell her to look for part-time work to help her make ends meet until she graduates. I'm fully prepared to send her a care package every week, if necessary, so that she doesn't go hungry. I want her to learn how to stand up and help herself.
I know that there have to be temporary assistance programs in the Cocoa Florida area, but I have no idea what and where. I did find the address for her to go and apply for temporary food stamps. That might help some.
Does anyone have any other advice?