Humorous story

Allie · Nov 3, 2006

I put out a resume on monster for technical writing jobs, I'm trying to break into the field. A recruiter contacted me and asked me for my resume. I sent it to her and I waited. I didn't hear anything for a week, so I pinged her and asked her the status. (The whole book query thing drives me crazy, where you absoletely can't ask for the status, anyway, I digress)

She told me that she couldn't send my resume to the client because I have a three year gap on my resume... touche... she's right... I quit working three years ago to stay at home with my kids. She said I could say I was a freelance writer and mention all my writing creds.

I told her that I had written a novel, but I had never worked as a freelance writer. (My thought here is that if you've never made money as a writer, you probably don't qualify as a freelancer.)

She wrote me back and asked me to give the specifics about my novel, the publisher, and the reviews. I shook my head at the request and sent her my novel query that I sent the agents, and told her that it hadn't been published.

She went in and changed my resume for me, added my current employment as a freelance writer and said my novel was going to be published by a reputable publisher. She said my resume was now "quite impressive" and to please fill out a sheet that she could turn over to the client.

This whole thing struck as very silly. Promising... but silly. Now if I can blunder through the fact I've never used Sharepoint, and I need to work from home on Tuesdays and Thursdays.

Lucizzz · Nov 18, 2006

What, the recruiter didn't add the job skills you picked up from wrangling kids?

When I was pregnant I was handed a peice of paper that read this:
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]

[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]POSITION VACANT: MAIN CAREGIVER[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Applications are invited for the position of manager of a lively team of four demanding individuals of differing needs and personalities. The successful applicant will be required to perform and coordinate the following functions: companion, counselor, financial manager, buying office, teacher, nurse, chef, nutritionist, decorator, cleaner, driver, childcare, supervisor, social secretary, and recreation officer. [/FONT]

Qualifications: Applicants must have unlimited drive and the strongest sense of responsibility if they are to succeed in this job. They must be independent and self-motivated, and be able to work in isolation and without supervision. They must be skilled in the management of people of all ages. They must be able to work under stress, for long periods of time if necessary. They must have the flexibility to perform a number of conflicting tasks at the one time without tiring. They must have the adaptability to handle all new developments in the life of the team, including emergencies and serious crises. They must be able to communicate on a range of issues with people of all ages, including public servants, school teachers, doctors, dentists, tradespeople, business people, teenagers and children. They must be competent in the practical skills listed above. They must be healthy, creative, active and outgoing, to encourage the physical and social development of the team members. They must have imagination, sensitivity, warmth, love and understanding since they are responsible for the mental and emotional well-being of the team.

[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Hours of work: All waking hours and a 24 hour shift when necessary.[/FONT]

[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Pay: No salary or wage. Allowance by arrangement, from time to time, with the income-earning member of the team. The successful applicant may be required to hold a second job, in addition to the one advertised here. [/FONT]

[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Benefits: No guaranteed holidays. No guaranteed sick-leave, maternity leave, or long service leave. No guaranteed life or accident insurance. No worker’s compensation. No pension.[/FONT]

Sigh, it's a shame these skills aren't recognised when you head back to work. Good luck![/FONT]

Allie · Nov 18, 2006

Lucizzz said:
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Sigh, it's a shame these skills aren't recognised when you head back to work. Good luck![/FONT]

Yeah, it stinks... In my case it was this: Chose a life where you have money enough not to worry, but you will spend almost no time with your kids or Go broke, but be with them.

I chose the Go broke option. It was worth everything penny. But alas, bills.... oh well... something will work out. It always does.

Misnomer · Nov 18, 2006

Was it a recruiter (from a specific company) or a headhunter? Headhunters are more likely to promote sneaky things like that; personally, I prefer not to deal with them. There are varying opinions about "stretching facts" on a resume, but I don't like it -- just seems like you're starting off on the wrong foot with a potential employer.

Sorry to be all serious on you, but I'm a senior technical writer who has been a hiring manager for other tech writers, and if I saw a resume like your "new" one I'd be pretty suspicious: you're about to be published (by a well-known house, even), yet you're applying for an entry-level tech writer job? I'd definitely ask you about it in the interview, and I'd also ask you about your "freelancing" experience (like who you've written for). I recommend just being honest about the gap in your employment: no decent employer will begrudge you a few years with your children, and any lie that gets you in the door will quickly be discovered -- and you'll just as quickly be shown the other side of the door.

All of this is just my $0.02, of course ... good luck with the job hunt, and welcome to the wonderful world of tech writing!

Allie · Nov 20, 2006

Misnomer, Thanks for the thought... It was a headhunter. I redid the resume to make it more honest. I haven't heard from her since, so I assume that I didn't get it. I'm not too worried about it. I applied for another post with an employer and mentioned the gap. They were fine about it and put my resume on file.

I'm going to start working more dilengently after the holidays to find something. I really want part-time, so I think it will be harder to find the right fit.

CaroGirl · Nov 20, 2006

Good luck Allie. I hope you find what you're looking for. Part-time tech writing gigs are out there, but they're usually contract positions, not permanent. If you get benefits via someone else in your household (as I do), that should work out just fine. I've been working as a writer on contract for 5 years, three days a week (mon, wed, & fri). You can't beat those hours if you're a woman with a young family. I just decided not to renew my latest contract with the company I'm with (for various reasons). If you live near me (which I doubt) I might have a job for you!

Humorous story

Allie

Lucizzz

Allie

Misnomer

Allie

CaroGirl

Living the dream