calling all poets

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Carole

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Anyone feel like helping me figure out a nifty little "don't be a nasty slob" poem to tack up in the office kitchen and bathroom?

Everything I try ends up sounding like, "Don't be a nasty slob!"

That won't be very well received.

Every day there are stacks of dishes that someone else takes care of rather than the people who actually left them there. Many times it's me. Other times it's another lady in the office. Rarely is it the ones who dirty them in the first place.

And the bathroom?? OMG. Women can really be pigs when the bathroom in question isn't in their own home.

So I'm looking for a little motivational poem for the office piglets.
 

robeiae

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We all work together
No matter what the weather
We all sit down to lunch
There's no clock to punch

But our meal we can't enjoy
Look at this mess, oh boy!
So please respect your neighbor
Do your own damn labor!
 

dclary

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HTML:
i
am not your 
sister 
i am
not your moth
              er
 
clean 
 
u
p
 
your own
         damned
                mess
 

Bartholomew

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Ladies, I love you all,
But if again you soil a stall,
With a thousand dimes I'll fill this sock
And when next you're seen, your friends will mock
The giant crater amidst your face
Where repeatedly the sock was placed.
 

dclary

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if you, my friend must pee within a stall
I ask for you to be polite and all
don't leave a turd just lying in the bowl
please flush that sh*t right down to Instanbul
or else the manager I'll have to call.



BAM!

Iambic pentameter AABBA
 

aadams73

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Personally I'd go with: "If you can read this you are being watched." Trust me, they'll be tidy after that :D
 

rtilryarms

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“Neath those crusty folds of fodder yore;
Beyond the greenish molds and germy state;
Shudder at the browning ancient gore;
Is found the murky detritus of your long lost plate.
 

clockwork

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"There once was a rabbit, who had the bad habit
Of twitching the end of his nose.
His sisters and brothers, and various others, said
'Look at the way he goes!'
But one little bunny said, 'Isn't it funny!'
And practised it down in the dell.
Said the others, 'If he can, I'm positive we can'
And did it remarkably well.
Now, all the world over, where rabbits eat clover
And burrow and scratch with their toes,
You'll find every rabbit has got the bad habit
Of twitching the end of his nose.

Clean up your mess or I'll rip the spine from your body.

Ta!"
 

aspier

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halwcats.gif



5 kitties through the door
but oh oh now the issy all
over on the floor
hey you ladies help
oh please help
let's get them out of this twelp

psst! what is a twelp?
 

Pat~

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Please wash up the dish you soil
And wipe up slop and spill;
Save your office mates some toil
Of slobs we've had our fill.
6.gif



Ladies, please, remember this
When making bathroom rounds,
If you trash your trash and flush the jon,
It'll make you lose 5 pounds.
 
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Susie

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How's this?

That which I will always tell
Every sister and brother.
"Clean up after yourself -
I am not your MOTHER!
 

Carole

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You guys are cracking me up! I swear, I can't wait to choose one and get it on the wall of the kitchen. I can only assume that some in my office believe the dirty dish fairy and icky bathroom fairy visit every night after we clock out.
 

Carole

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You guys are cracking me up! I swear, I can't wait to choose one and get it on the wall of the kitchen. I can only assume that some in my office believe the dirty dish fairy and icky bathroom fairy visit every night after we clock out.
 

clockwork

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I_Shrugged said:
Sorry to tell you
It really ain't true
No fairy will come
To clean up after you.

:ROFL:

That's cool :) Nice and simple is probably the best way to go. Though I have to say, my fave is rtilryarms' wonderful sonnet-like:

“Neath those crusty folds of fodder yore;
Beyond the greenish molds and germy state;
Shudder at the browning ancient gore;
Is found the murky detritus of your long lost plate.

It's an excellent guilt-trip but also... it's like it's not even telling people to clean up - it's just a social commentary on the state of things. Very funny.
 

clockwork

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stormie said:
Chris' ending: is priceless. That'll get 'em!

Oh, thank you. From what Carole is telling us, the sad truth is that these people are probably already spineless. :)
 
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clockwork

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Filthy kitchen, world of mess!
To make food in thee is to make food with stress
And what pray we spy, upon chopping block board
What - missing-lid mayo, improperly-stored
Lo, stuck to the ceiling, stringy and sweaty
Someone's spent pasta, unreachable spaghetti
And there, on the counter where nary a coaster
Can stop water rings near fork-stuck-in-toaster
As cutlery, tarnished, encrusted with dirt
Lays dying in ketchup, an impatient squirt
And napkins and towels, shredded paper asunder
What a'hind such carnage - on purpose or blunder?
Pacing the tiles now, crushed fruit under-shoe
Near dollops of something - a homemade beef stew
That trails up to the frenzy inside yonder fridge
Where mustard and pickle mess fuse to then bridge
A doorway to hell where such madness must grow
(the mustard is spicey, five-alarm, don't you know?)
The chaos is building, almost too much to bear
The walls are so sticky, bread-stick shards in my hair
What mortal can save us, what crushing hand lo
Can wipe clean the frenzy, can mop to and fro
I'm dying, I beg you, Hot Pockets smell foul
It's attracting the wildlife, God-knows-what on the prowl
But salvation is close-to, I've seen it it's true
It lies in our friend, Clorox regular (or blue)
So please, do I beg you, please Lord hear my call,
Cook on, as it fits you, cook low and cook tall,
Let's reheat that chow mein, and slice up that cake
Bring soup and half-sandwich, pastrami/cheese-steak
Have coffee from Starbucks with flapjack to go
I won't ever stop you, I'll go with the flow
But please, one small favour, so intelligibly small
It's in your best interest, let's not scuffle or brawl
In trying to vanquish the aforementioned stress
The message is simple - clean up your damn mess.
 
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Bartholomew

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The Bathroom is Good
The Bathroom is Great
Clean up your Damn Mess
Or I'll Seal Your Fate.
 
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