Afraid of acceptance?

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torrentwaters

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Okay this seemed like the best place to post this. While I've had a couple short stories published. They were pub via a self-publishing website, where they basic help you pub ebooks and give you a place to sell, but you have to do all the foot work. Also you keep all the rights to the work and sign no contracts. I've also sent work into Black Velvet Seductions, when I received an email asking for the entire manuscript I freaked. Not in the good way either. Yet I went ahead and sent in the manuscript. Now I'm putting off emailing on an update, because I'm slightly afraid that they'll want to publish the work. I'm I crazy to feel this way?
 

KTC

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I sometimes delete manuscripts because I'm afraid of acceptance. I recently rejected an agent who wanted my manuscript. Yes...you read that right. I am completely consumed by the fear of acceptance. I hate it every time something gets accepted. I start deleting files and hyperventilating.
 

TrainofThought

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You are not crazy. Hell, I’m afraid of criticism, publishing, but it goes with the territory. My family and friends have never read my novel, nor do they know the plot. It is easier this way. I can take criticism from people I don’t know than family.

Chin up. Good Luck!
 
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veinglory

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I'm so confused by you people.

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Ol' Fashioned Girl

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I clicked on 'New Messages' and this thread almost reached out and grabbed me by the throat.

I think I am afraid of acceptance. My gods... what if one of my manuscripts did get accepted? I'd have to mess with the agent and the editor and the publisher and worry about contracts and all the 'business' end... when all I want to do is tell a good, entertaining yarn to people who appreciate my brand of story telling.

The business end of it terrifies and annoys me at the same time.

Excellent thread.
 

wordmonkey

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First it isn't crazy.

That said, ARE YOU CRAZY????




OK, now seriously.

While ever you're a nobody, you can always be that great undiscovered literary genius. And even better, no one can take pot-shots at you and launch a "I HATE WORDMONKEY" thread on a forum like this. You can hide behind the idea that you are good and they just don't get you. Or more so, you are good and you know they wouldn't get it if you showed them.

If you sell, it's put up or shut up time. People will see what you can do, and they will not be shy about telling you when they think you suck. Also, you then have to do it again and do it just as well, if not better. You have to prove you didn't just get lucky. That you were wanna those guys with just one really great story in them.

Selling ISN'T making it. Selling is the only time you get to try and make it.

Everytime you let someone see your work, you bare your chest and wait for the reader to tear your heart out. It gets better and you build some meaty armor on your chest, but it's still the same act and you are always aware of the possibility of a chink in that armor. Now imaging you sold and your book is available? You bare your chest to thousands/millions. What if no one buys? What if they buy and hate it? What if the hate it and tell others? What if they hate it and tell you?

Crazy to be scared of that?

NO WAY!

But courage isn't a lack of fear. Courage is being scared and doing something anyways.

Have courage in yourself and your work. If the worst than can happen is they like it, how bad is that?
 

torrentwaters

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Thanks for the feed back guys. I'd like to point out one thing though, that while I do have this fear, I don't let it stop me from sending out manuscripts. Although after I do, I'm like why did I do that. The other thing I'd like to point out is that one of the things I'm most freaked out by it the thought that they'll want more from me and I won't be able to produce anything. More than likely this sounds like I'm putting the cart before the horse, but thats my fear.
 

KTC

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veinglory said:
I'm so confused by you people.

1.gif

I would so not pick me to be my friend.
 

Norman D Gutter

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I think fear of success if very real. I believe it is more frequent than we suspect. It is probably what keeps me from frequently submitting my work anywhere. How much easier it is to be a misunderstood and rejected genius than to actually produce something that is publishable, and have to go through all that entails. Sometimes I think, what if one of my novels does get accepted for publication and become a best seller? Could I handle the pressure and change in life that would bring? And the novel typically goes back in the drawer for a while till the feeling passes.

NDG
 

Toothpaste

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You know a few months ago I WOULD have said you were crazy. But now having been accepted by both agent and publisher, and having just received Baby's First Edits, I can totally understand the fear. The fear of proving yourself. The fear of not letting anyone down. The fear of writing the NEXT book. Still I have to say, it's a heck of a lot of fun as well. And to sell a book to Greece and Italy, doing lunch, having a long distance call meeting with your editor in the UK . . . it's all kinda cool too.

So stop deleting things! It's scarey, but it's also darn fun! Don't forget the fun!
 

icerose

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I have a different fear.

I have the fear that I'm good enough but not spectacular. I want to be spectacular and not just good enough.

Make any sense of that one?
 

CaroGirl

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I obviously don't know enough to be afraid of acceptance. Should I be?
 

SJAB

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Selling a few short stories hasn't frightened me, selling a few more won't, BUT, and it is a big "but", the prospect of selling one of my novels, does.

It is the fact it might change my life in ways that might not be welcome. I am comfortable with my life, what I do, where I think I am going. To suddenly change direction careerwise when you are thinking of the time when you won't have a career and can please yourself what you do each day is frightening. If it happens (long shot, very much so) then I intend to enjoy it, once I have recovered from the shock.
 

scottVee

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At the risk of being the new guy to hate ...

You have to get over it. Why did you start down the path if you're going to let yourself get rattled every step of the way? It might help to realize that having a story published is not "success" by any stretch of the imagination. It is just a step towards success. The pressure is not real. Even selling one or five novels may not change anything. You can wish that it does, but then you have to be able to live with it.

Unfortunately, I have to report that success in this field involves travelling and meeting people, and getting in and out of arguments, and public speaking. At some point you will get comfortable grabbing a microphone and sharing your thoughts with others -- so work on your performance skills now. I don't know anyone who sits alone at home and has good things come to them quietly.

So, there are more hurdles. You can let them excite you, or let them scare you. And then you have to get over them.
 
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Tracy

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I know exactly what you're all talking about, so much so that I've written a book to answer this very question. It's called Unleash The Writer and it's about using EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique, i.e. tapping on acupuncture points) to literally erase the fear of acceptance and fear of rejection.

There's a free report which gives full and comprehensive instructions, available from www.unleash-the-writer.com/freereport. Although there's a link from that to the book you can buy, as I say in the free report, you don't need any more than the free report - it's comprehensive enough for you to be able to work through the issues yourself once you have the information.

You'll need to sign up for my newsletter to get access to it - that's just the way it's set up. But a) you can unsubscribe immediately if you want, or b) you might find the newsletter useful and interesting as well.

I do recommend EFT - it helps me all the time with my own writing, both the nuts-and-bolts (eg being stuck on a plot etc) and the ups-and-downs of being a writer (e.g. rejections etc).

Hope you find this useful, I'd love to hear how you get on.
 

Shadow_Ferret

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scottVee said:
Unfortunately, I have to report that success in this field involves travelling and meeting people, and getting in and out of arguments, and public speaking. At some point you will get comfortable grabbing a microphone and sharing your thoughts with others -- so work on your performance skills now. I don't know anyone who sits alone at home and has good things come to them quietly.
I hate travel. I hate meeting new people. I have trouble holding everyday conversations, public speaking is right out. And if I can't become a famous recluse, then I guess I won't.
 

SpookyWriter

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KTC said:
I sometimes delete manuscripts because I'm afraid of acceptance. I recently rejected an agent who wanted my manuscript. Yes...you read that right. I am completely consumed by the fear of acceptance. I hate it every time something gets accepted. I start deleting files and hyperventilating.
I thought I was alone in this fear. I reject (sent withdrawal letters) to about five agents last year who wanted partials or had received partials on my manuscript. I'm not sure why, maybe timing or how I feel about rejection, but for some reason I just couldn't go through with the agent process. I had some favorable feedback and yet it wasn't enough.

I think there is a class of writers (artisans) who fear acceptance without fully understanding why it affects us so. I can't tell you how many times I stuff the envelope with a new story only to set it on the shelf for months until I finally tossed it in the trash.

Interesting thread. I say go for it. Get accepted for publication and look back later.
 

TrainofThought

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scottVee said:
At the risk of being the new guy to hate ...
You have to get over it. Why did you start down the path if you're going to let yourself get rattled every step of the way? It might help to realize that having a story published is not "success" by any stretch of the imagination. It is just a step towards success.

At some point you will get comfortable grabbing a microphone and sharing your thoughts with others -- so work on your performance skills now. I don't know anyone who sits alone at home and has good things come to them quietly.
Hate is a strong word. I just don't like the tone. I know I have to get over it, but someone telling me to do that doesn’t help. Torrenwaters posted to see if anyone else has the same fear. People have their own definitions of success, so this isn’t true. And no, I will never be comfortable talking in front of people. That’s me.
 

CBeasy

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I can see how it's terrifying, but I think acceptance is just part of the whole terrifying process that is "trying to get published." The worst part for me is submitting in the first place.
 
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