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Godfather
10-18-2006, 10:51 PM
i've seen this a few times, always makes me smile though.

This is the transcript of the ACTUAL radio conversation between the
British and the Irish, off the coast of Kerry, Oct 98. Radio
conversation released by the Chief of Naval Operations 10-10-01:

IRISH: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the
South, to avoid a collision.

BRITISH: Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees
to the North, to avoid a collision.

IRISH: Negative. You will have to divert your course
15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision.

BRITISH: This is the Captain of a British navy ship. I
say again, divert YOUR course.

IRISH: Negative. I say again. You will have to divert
YOUR course.

BRITISH: THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER HMS BRITANNIA!
THE SECOND LARGEST SHIP IN THE BRITISH ATLANTIC FLEET.
WE ARE ACCOMPANIED BY THREE DESTROYERS, THREE CRUISERS, AND NUMEROUS
SUPPORT VESSELS. I DEMAND THAT YOU CHANGE YOUR COURSE 15 DEGREES NORTH,
I SAY AGAIN, THAT IS 15 DEGREES NORTH, OR COUNTER-MEASURES WILL BE UNDERTAKEN TO ENSURE THE SAFETY OF THIS SHIP.

IRISH: We are a lighthouse. Your call.

Jack_Roberts
10-18-2006, 10:53 PM
Heh. Love it!

(I'm Irish too, btw)

MidnightMuse
10-18-2006, 11:03 PM
Interesting - I've seen this same thing, only it was different countries and it was the USS Enterprise vs the Lighthouse.

dclary
10-18-2006, 11:15 PM
Yeah, this is cute, as always. It's absolutely NOT a true radio transcript, but it's still cute.

robeiae
10-19-2006, 12:39 AM
Just like an Irishman, bringing a knife to a gunfight (http://www.snopes.com/military/lighthse.htm)...

writerterri
10-19-2006, 12:49 AM
Couldn't you guys just humor him?

robeiae
10-19-2006, 01:10 AM
No.

dpaterso
10-19-2006, 01:18 AM
This is the transcript of the ACTUAL radio conversation between the British and the Irish, off the coast of Kerry, Oct 98.

Liar liar
Pants on fire
Knickers hanging over
The telephone wire.

-Derek
My Web Page - sci-fi, fantasy, horror, cyborgs, AIs, dragons, vampyres. (http://hometown.aol.co.uk/DPaterson57)
You see this little hole? This moth's just about to emerge. It's in there right now, struggling. It's digging it's way through the thick hide of the cocoon. Now, I could help it - take my knife, gently widen the opening, and the moth would be free - but it would be too weak to survive. Struggle is nature's way of strengthening it.

Godfather
10-19-2006, 01:55 AM
don't blame me, i just copied and pasted.

Rachael
10-19-2006, 01:55 AM
yeah, don't blame Godfather.

dpaterso
10-19-2006, 01:59 AM
A writer always checks his sources. You didn't attribute the story either. So my knickers comment stands.

-Derek
My Web Page - sci-fi, fantasy, horror, cyborgs, AIs, dragons, vampyres. (http://hometown.aol.co.uk/DPaterson57)
Aha! So you're not ruling out that a human being could've boffed a robot. Sex with robots is more common than most people think.

Opty
10-19-2006, 02:49 AM
This just further proves that everything good in the world starts in America.



*covers head, quickly ducks out of room*

poetinahat
10-19-2006, 02:55 AM
I find it much funnier with a Pommy ship.

And hey, it worked for MC Hammer, and Godfather's ten of him any day.

(GF, please confirm that you never wear baggy gold genie pants.)

writerterri
10-19-2006, 04:13 AM
No.


That's it! I'm sending you harrassing PMs.

clockwork
10-19-2006, 04:36 AM
You're Irish! You're gullible!

(sorry GF, couldn't resist) :)

SpookyWriter
10-19-2006, 05:09 AM
You're Irish! You're gullible!

(sorry GF, couldn't resist) :)Blame that on Sein Fein. Ha!

Jongfan
10-19-2006, 05:12 AM
I too am Irish and I found it humorous,, now where is my whiskey

BradyH1861
10-19-2006, 05:29 AM
Tiocfaidh ár lá!




Brady

Godfather
10-19-2006, 11:47 AM
dang man. you people...

i never said it was the actual conversation, nor did i believe it. i just copied and pasted from the email i got, for all y'all to take a look. i didn't put it here for speculation on whether or not it happened, i put it here for y'all to laugh.


A writer always checks his sources. You didn't attribute the story either. So my knickers comment stands.

don't be ridiculous. do you check your sources for every joke you read, before passing it on? do you? i sure as hell don't.

brady... IRA slogans. nice.

i prefer Tiocfaidh mo la, it means my day will come. which it will.
besides, the IRA's day came decades ago. they were pretty much a terrorist group up until recently. but apparently the IRA's violent campaigns have stopped now. and nobody here in the south seems to notice them too much anymore.

and thanks for the MC Hammer comment rob. and no, i'm more of a straight leg jeans man.

dpaterso
10-19-2006, 12:30 PM
Good to see the famous Irish sense of humor is firing on all cylinders.

An Irishman walks into a bar. "Ow!" he says. It was made of iron.

No, wait, that wasn't creaky enough. Let's dust off one of the old favorites:

Two Irishmen hire a boat and go fishing on the lake, they have a great day, the fish are almost leaping into their boat. "We'll have to mark this spot and come back here tomorrow," says the first. "No problem," says the second, "I marked an 'X' on the side of the boat." The first says, "Are you thick or what? How do you know we'll get the same boat tomorrow?"

Ah those were the days, before political correctness ruined Reader's Digest forever.

-Derek
My Web Page - sci-fi, fantasy, horror, cyborgs, AIs, dragons, vampyres. (http://hometown.aol.co.uk/DPaterson57)
CARTMAN'S MOTHER enters. She is extremely June Cleaveresque
(except that she's a hermaphrodite crack whore).

billythrilly7th
10-19-2006, 12:45 PM
Four Irishmen met in Larry Mullen Jr's kitchen.

Larry Mullen asked them "What do you want to do with your lives?"

One of them said "Shake up the world."

Larry said "Me too."

:roll:

Classic.

dpaterso
10-19-2006, 01:36 PM
I'm afraid I lack your worldly sophistication, I had to look up Larry Mullen Jr. (http://www.google.com/search?q=Larry+Mullen+Jr). Evidently he's a musician with one of those "rock bands."

-Derek
My Web Page - sci-fi, fantasy, horror, cyborgs, AIs, dragons, vampyres. (http://hometown.aol.co.uk/DPaterson57)
To get even? Even-Steven? I would have to kill you, go up to Nikki's room, kill her, then wait for your husband to come home, and kill him. That would be even, Vernita. That'd be about square.

billythrilly7th
10-19-2006, 02:01 PM
I'm afraid I lack your worldly sophistication, I had to look up Larry Mullen Jr. (http://www.google.com/search?q=Larry+Mullen+Jr). Evidently he's a musician with one of those "rock bands."


That he is.

You might be able to see him in one of those videos on that music television all the kids are talking about.

dpaterso
10-19-2006, 02:40 PM
"If it ain't on vinyl, baby, it ain't music."

-Derek
My Web Page - sci-fi, fantasy, horror, cyborgs, AIs, dragons, vampyres. (http://hometown.aol.co.uk/DPaterson57)
You mean, you'll put down your rock, and I'll put down my sword, and we'll try to kill each other like civilized people?

Godfather
10-19-2006, 07:16 PM
you know, those jokes don't work just for the irish.

Two people veeeeery like dpaterso (Derek) hire a boat and go fishing on the lake, they have a great day, the fish are almost leaping into their boat. "We'll have to mark this spot and come back here tomorrow," says the first. "No problem," says the second, "I marked an 'X' on the side of the boat." The first says, "Are you thick or what? How do you know we'll get the same boat tomorrow?"

Tracy
10-19-2006, 08:41 PM
None of the above dialogue, of course, takes away from Godfather's original point which was, "We Irish, we're good". The joke was just to amuse you while you pondered that eternal truth.

TsukiRyoko
10-20-2006, 01:26 AM
:roll:

arrowqueen
10-20-2006, 01:53 AM
Why are Irish jokes so simple?

So the English can understand them.

(This is a multi-national joke, which can be adapted for any race/religion.)

Kate Thornton
10-20-2006, 01:57 AM
Derek, say "knickers" again - it gives me goosebumps...


Kate (also Irish)

poetinahat
10-20-2006, 03:30 AM
Sooo, Pat, he walks into his local, having a thirst. He sees his good friend Mike sitting at the bar, a pint at his elbow. Mike looks up, sees Pat, and his face brightens.

"Say there, Pat, it's fine to see ya. Do ya take a drink?"

"Why, hello dere, Mike. Why yes, I do!"

"Well, Pat, don't take mine."

BradyH1861
10-20-2006, 05:48 AM
i prefer Tiocfaidh mo la, it means my day will come. which it will.

So will mine........I hope.


Brady

Godfather
10-21-2006, 02:59 PM
paddy englishman, paddy scotsman and paddy irishman find themselves in the middle of a revolution in mexico (no offence dama). they're captured by rebels, and are to be executed.

paddy englishman is called out to be shot and as he's standing there, he's desperately trying to think of a way out. "earthquake!" he shouts, the mexicans run and he manages to escape.

later, paddy scotsman is called up, and he's standing there, he remembers what paddy englishman did....... "flood!" he shouts, the mexicans run and he manages to escape.

paddy irishman is called out, he goes up. the mexicans load their guns, aim them at him. he's standing there, thinking of what the other two did and he shouts.. "fire!"



wait, i didn't check if this one was true either dpaterso. i'd better delete it then. jesus.

Serenity
10-21-2006, 03:25 PM
Irish, Scottish, English and Slovok here. But the Irish is *always* first for me.

But, here's my problem: I fight with myself ALL THE TIME. :box: Then I sit back and drink vodka until I pass out while arguing about who's going to pay for it all. :e2drunk:

If we can't laugh at ourselves, someone else will. Might as well beat them to the punch. :PartySmil

pconsidine
10-22-2006, 05:45 AM
Elderly Irish gent walks into a bar in Boston and orders two pints. The bartender asks him why two. He says, "one's for me and one's for me brother back in Ireland." Then he drinks them down, pays his tab and heads home.

Day after day, the man comes in, drinks his two pints and heads home. Till one day, he comes in, sits down at the bar and only orders one pint. "Gee, did something happen to your brother?" the bartender asks.

"Naw," the only man says. "I just quit drinking."

BradyH1861
10-22-2006, 07:46 PM
Brady walked into a bar and loudly announced "When Brady drinks, everyone drinks." There were cheers as everyone ordered a fresh drink. Then Brady placed some money on the bar and just as loudly announced "When Brady pays, everyone pays!"


:banana:

Jongfan
10-22-2006, 11:52 PM
Ah tis the Irish humor, twill keep ya laffin till yer arse hurts