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I_Shrugged
10-10-2006, 02:45 AM
.

KimJo
10-10-2006, 02:57 AM
So you didn't have to duck when your neighbor's kid's baseball went off course.

I broke my cell phone...

poetinahat
10-10-2006, 03:06 AM
...and you thoroughly enjoyed a peaceful day.

I lost my job...

jbal
10-10-2006, 03:09 AM
...but you gained a lot of free time!

I have a runny nose...

Cath
10-10-2006, 04:00 AM
It cleaned up real nice.

It's getting cold at night...

Cath
10-10-2006, 04:39 AM
But my heating bills have plummeted thanks to the extra insulation on the walls.

Hubby's away...

Silver King
10-10-2006, 04:47 AM
...so now I can play.

My kids don't love me anymore.

Unique
10-10-2006, 04:59 AM
My kids don't love me anymore.

But that's okay because now I don't feel guilty when I leave them home alone.


Oh, darn. The car has a flat tire again ...

Haggis
10-10-2006, 05:06 AM
Oh, darn. The car has a flat tire again ...

Oh, good. I guess I'll just have to miss that PTA meeting.

My manuscript's been rejected for the 50th time.

Silver King
10-10-2006, 05:09 AM
But everyone knows the 51st time's a charm.

I'm so broke I can hardly pay attention.

C.bronco
10-10-2006, 05:11 AM
There are 200 more agents on your list.

My house is messy...

C.bronco
10-10-2006, 05:11 AM
(ooh, too quick)

You won't pay as much in taxes

Silver King
10-10-2006, 05:26 AM
You won't pay as much in taxes
And I'm relieved I won't be audited by the IRS...again.

The sky is falling.

Haggis
10-10-2006, 05:43 AM
The sky is falling.

Thank God I already have a terminal disease.

I'm about to be banned by Jenna.

janetbellinger
10-10-2006, 05:49 AM
Which will give you more free tiime to write.

I broke down at ate chocolate at dinner tonight.

P.H.Delarran
10-10-2006, 05:52 AM
... which will release happy endomorphines in your blood and give you a relaxed evening.

I snapped at my 13 yr old ...

janetbellinger
10-10-2006, 05:56 AM
and your 13 year old learned that you have limits, certain buttons which should not be pressed.

I had an argument tonight with my only sister

Silver King
10-10-2006, 05:59 AM
...which made my sister understand I love her more than my own life.

I think, therefore I...

Soccer Mom
10-10-2006, 06:26 AM
Brrr? I think Silver King got twisted with "Make Something New" Thread.

I had an argument tonight with my only sister, but she's my sister and we'll make peace.

I've been staying up late and playing on the computer.

Silver King
10-10-2006, 07:53 AM
Brrr? I think Silver King got twisted with "Make Something New" Thread.
For some reason, SK is always confused!

Getting used to new configuration is harder than hiding from conflagration.

My neighbor's boy gave me more ungrateful lip than a camel chewing on his rider's unprotected hip.

Jaycinth
10-10-2006, 05:39 PM
My knee hurts today and it's hard for me to walk......
so in a way it's lucky that the neighbor's wedding is off and he's giving the use of the pre-paid rented limo for the next ten hours.

My son has a new kitten that will only poo in the middle of his bedroom rug.

janetbellinger
10-10-2006, 06:16 PM
But you all fall in love with the kitten and don't even notice when you have to clean up the poop.

I still haven't heard back from the agent I submitted to a few months ago.

Silver King
10-10-2006, 06:30 PM
And it turns out the agent is a scam artist who would've fleeced me had I signed with him early on.

North Korea is going to get an international spanking soon for being kooky-nukey.

Silver King
10-10-2006, 07:57 PM
The nice thing about "sploot" is if it gets in your boots, you'll have an excuse to later place your feet in someone's warm lap, where the chill will be drawn and replaced by the heat of knowing hands on bare skin.

I haven't been fishing in a month, and the growing desire to be on the water is consuming to the point of distraction.

Soccer Mom
10-10-2006, 08:00 PM
So it's a good thing the fish are just waiting to jump on your hook and you'll be at your daily limit in record time. So you can release some and just keep reeling them in.

Our tank turned over and we had a major kill off and just had to restock the tank completely so now there isn't anything of a fishable size.

Silver King
10-10-2006, 10:12 PM
Soccer, that's a tragedy beyond comprehension. I'm not creative enough to offer a positive spin on such a loss (*weeps openly*), but I'll try.

The earth receives her marine cousins to coat the soil with greener pastures, lining the banks of streams with new life to enrich her flowing waters.

My WIP has turned into a whip I use to flog myself without mercy.

arrowqueen
10-11-2006, 12:38 AM
...which will stand you in really good stead when you write your BDSM masterpiece.

My husband's van has broken down. Again.

BottomlessCup
10-11-2006, 12:52 AM
...and now you'll get to buy a new sports car.


I haven't seen my girlfriend in eleven days.

Silver King
10-11-2006, 11:25 PM
And that's so much better than dealing with those pencil necks face-to-face.

I spent three hours today writing a looooong business letter for a family member who's under the impression each word magically appeared on the page with little or no effort. I was sorely tempted to say, "Well if it's so easy, why didn't you write it yourself?"

Jaycinth
10-12-2006, 07:22 PM
Luckily you have Flonaise, Zicam, hot spiced lemonade, loads of hot and sour soup, a gallon of Kentucky's finest, and last week your company addded...retroactive to June 2006, 2 additional weeks of paid leave. As you sit in bed that idea for a novel coalesces, and your cousin calls to tell you that she entered your name in a 'free housekeeper for a year' contest and you won.

I am so happy for you that I can almost forget that my (!$#%$&*{!?"!$#%&&***!!*!*!$%*!) car's repairs are too expensive for me as is a new car.

yanallefish
10-13-2006, 06:04 AM
Ahh, but just think of all the exercize you'll be getting via walking, which will therefore make you much more appealing to potential mates...

I am being driven crazy by my landlord who seems to think screaming up the hall is the only way to communicate with people in the house! At two in the morning!

Silver King
10-13-2006, 06:49 AM
Thank goodness all those calls are for you while the rest of the tenants sleep soundly.

Believe it or not, I cut my heel on the chair I'm sitting in earlier. There's a space between the roller and the chair leg, and my foot got caught inside that sharp edge. There was blood everywhere (not really). Nasty gash, though. I feel great.

K1P1
10-13-2006, 11:08 PM
This gives you the opportunity to write five separate novellas (would novellae be pretentious?) exploring the narrative possibilities. Four of them are published separately and successfully, paving the way for the fifth to complete your original novel. You gain such a following from the novellae that the novel, once it is finally released, becomes a bestseller based on pre-orders alone. Congratulations!

I managed to piss off one potential publisher and my agent yesterday.

Jenan Mac
10-14-2006, 12:53 AM
Which is really okay, because I thought for awhile that I'd pissed off three of them, and that my agent had forgotten who I was.

I think there's a palmetto bug in my shoe.

Unique
10-14-2006, 12:55 AM
I think there's a palmetto bug in my shoe.

But that's okay because I loaned them to my sister and she's wearing them right now.


The pizza place put anchovies on my pizza again.

yanallefish
10-14-2006, 02:04 AM
But, you know, there's a cat sitting next to you who loooooves little fishies...

Sheesh, and now this migraine aura is blocking half my vision with sparkly lights. I hate it when that happens!

arrowqueen
10-14-2006, 02:11 AM
...but it provides wonderful inspiration for the LSD trip in your novel.

My husband is driving me mad with an overdose of information on WW2 aircraft.

Silver King
10-14-2006, 02:22 AM
But I'd rather my husband were a history buff who stays home with me rather than spending all his time and money with Silver King, hanging out at nudie bars until all hours of the night.

Speaking of food, when I was almost finished with my salad today, I found a hair that was as long as a spaghetti noodle (angel hair?), which looped its way through the remaining lettuce and sat at the bottom of the bowl, coated in blue cheese dressing.

jbal
10-14-2006, 03:10 AM
But on the plus side, it's high in fiber!

I worked too much today...

C.bronco
10-14-2006, 05:53 AM
And got a bonus.

Today I discovered that I was the "man" keeping them "down." (even though I'm not a man, you know what I mean..."

Silver King
10-14-2006, 06:18 AM
And as you know, it's always so much better when it turns a woman, whose gender has been mistaken, is really the one who is keeping men down.

In relation to C.'s dilemma, I'm often misidentified as a female over the telephone, addressed as, "Yes, Ma'am," and, "No, Ma'am."

Redd Ryden
10-14-2006, 11:03 PM
"I'm often mistaken for a woman on the phone..."

Which makes for some really interesting fun when I get bored and call that number that I always deny calling (Hoo-Ha! Two for One Nights!!).

I think my black cat is two-timing me. He always comes home with blond hair on his collar and smelling of beer.

Silver King
10-15-2006, 01:46 AM
House cleaning is wonderful exercise. It saves a person from going to the gym and wasting time on stationary bikes or lifting weights, which are of no help when it comes time to getting things done around the house.

My wife is mad at me because when she was exercising earlier, I watched from a safe distance as she performed numerous reps using the vacuum cleaner and worked on her abs by moving furniture around.

Jenan Mac
10-15-2006, 06:23 PM
But it's okay that she's mad, because having sex more than once a year is highly overrated.

And anyway, last night there was a peeping tom outside the bedroom window. (Peeping, oddly enough.)

DragonHeart
10-17-2006, 04:23 PM
My cat won't quit whining to get into my daughter's room, and I don't feel like getting up to open the door for her. Next house is going to have the kind of handles she can jump up and open herself.

At least when she does get into your daughter's room, the cat will have to pester her instead when she wants to go back out. XD

Winter is closing in fast...

Jaycinth
10-17-2006, 05:46 PM
Winter is closing in fast....

So it is wonderful that your boss is sending you to Tortuga to work on that new project until April.

There are too many sweet delights in the kitchen at work.

arrowqueen
10-19-2006, 01:09 AM
...so you'll be doing everyone a favour by eating them all, thus removing temptation. Pat yourself on the back for your altruism.

The toaster has just broken.

Silver King
10-19-2006, 01:28 AM
The coat is so big it hides your shapely figure, and now you don't have to worry about men flirting with you every time you leave the house.

Strangely, when I wear a long coat in the summer and my bare legs are showing, cops often stop me on suspicion of being a flasher.

Soccer Mom
10-19-2006, 08:02 PM
On the bright side, you now have lots of new fishing buddies and no longer get speeding tickets from your cop friends.

I won't get a day off until the end of December.

Eveningsdawn
10-19-2006, 08:28 PM
On the other hand, you get the entirity of January off to write.



It's thundering, and this makes my building vibrate, making me vaguely worried.

Amadeus
10-19-2006, 09:22 PM
...but it's neat to have a thrill once in a while.

School projects are killing me...

Soccer Mom
10-19-2006, 10:28 PM
...But you will be so smart afterwards.

The coffee pot at work is broken and this is going to be a long day...

janetbellinger
10-19-2006, 10:34 PM
But you won'thave trouble sleeping tonight.

I have to go to work in an hour and I'm tired from working on two novels.

janetbellinger
10-20-2006, 04:28 AM
A sudden wind comes up and blows the leaves into the neighbour's yard.

I hate to keep harping on the subject, but I have to work all day tomorrow.

Soccer Mom
10-20-2006, 07:10 AM
but not being able to write will make you jones for it so bad that you will write like a maniac after work.

I'm afraid I won't finish my WIP before NaNo starts and I'll make myself crazy crazier trying to work on two novels.

Eveningsdawn
10-20-2006, 09:58 AM
...but it gives you an excuse to make the other members of your family do alllll the housework, chores, and shoppings.


I got hit in the head by a horse's neck today, when I didn't release over a jump and she tossed her head. Ow.

Redd Ryden
10-20-2006, 07:19 PM
I got hit in the head by a horse's neck today, when I didn't release over a jump and she tossed her head. Ow.
*Whew!* Sure glad it wasn't the WHOLE horse! ...and I'm equally happy cows don't fly!


...I just got a call from my doctor. He said: "I've got good news and bad news."

MidnightMuse
10-23-2006, 11:03 PM
well that's better than having just gone to bed at 3am, isn't it?

My user name has been taken already at Nano, and I can't think of another one.

Silver King
10-24-2006, 12:03 AM
Your husband knows that by keeping you waiting, his absence will make more than just your heart grow fonder.

I racked my brain to find a good name for MidnightMuse, and all I came up with was MidnightFuse.

Jack_Roberts
10-25-2006, 09:27 PM
But that’s much better than MidnightLose!

Another rejection… sigh.

Soccer Mom
10-25-2006, 10:27 PM
Which is a good thing because the agent of your dreams is waiting for you to query him/her.

I have stage fright over the last five hundred words in my latest novel.

bookgeek
10-25-2006, 10:41 PM
But the last 500 words were so fabulous, an entire movie script was written just based on the ideas in them.

Last night I had a dream that sharks were chasing me.

Redd Ryden
10-25-2006, 11:36 PM
Last night I had a dream that sharks were chasing me.

...but I woke up and found I'd tripped all the mousetraps I'd set around my bed. Whew! That was close!


My Muse has gone on holiday.

Soccer Mom
10-25-2006, 11:43 PM
But she will be back in time for Halloween.

I've got a stiff neck today.

sammyig
10-26-2006, 10:28 PM
But that means that you won't be suffering from a sweet tooth for several weeks.

But on another note:

I miss having a pet.

Jaycinth
10-26-2006, 10:57 PM
But when the zombies come to attack this evening it will be a simple matter to douse the tumbleweeds with gas and use the leaf blower to pushthem in the directionof the zombies. Since Zombies also contain methane, the resulting conflagration will spread to all of the zombies milling around, thus sparing you for one more night!

But alas for me. I still have no car and the walk-bus-walk to work is becoming unpleasant in the chill air.

sammyig
10-26-2006, 11:03 PM
But eventually, the chilly air will make the zombie go away because if we hit below freezing, the zombies will freeze- then we can have a new addition to the frozen foods section. Zombie Pops! All the undead goodness in the convenience of your freezer!

Hmmm, what I last wrote...I think I'm starting to loose my mind.

janetbellinger
10-29-2006, 01:17 AM
But a loose mind is better than a tight mind, you're more open to ideas.

I bought mini cans of playdoh and other inexpensive toys to give out this year for Hallowe'en instead of candy, just so I wouldn't be tempted to eat it all before Hallowe'en. Now the kids are all going to hate me - no candy. And I refuse to give in an buy any, I'm too stubborn.

jbal
10-29-2006, 02:09 AM
But on the plus side, they can eat the PlayDoh!

I have no candy this year.

sammyig
10-29-2006, 06:19 AM
Having no candy means less dental bills.

But sadly, I wasn't invited to any Halloween parties this year.

dancingandflying
10-29-2006, 07:13 PM
But now you can go trick-or-treating!

My cats are so fat my mom wants to get rid of them...

"If it had grown up, it would have made a dreadfully ugly child; but it makes rather a handsome pig, I think."
Alice.

sammyig
10-30-2006, 09:13 PM
If she does, at least you won't have to worry about vet bills.

On another note, I wish I could make beef stroganoff.

Jack_Roberts
10-31-2006, 12:14 AM
You could do research on the web to discover how!

I just wish my Dr. Pepper could replenish itself.

sammyig
11-01-2006, 12:46 AM
You could invent a device that automatically fills your Dr. Pepper can!

I wish I could eat fish.

MidnightMuse
11-01-2006, 01:43 AM
At least if you don't eat fish, you're saving all those worms' lives!

It's just too bad I keep getting a headache in the afternoons.

Silver King
11-01-2006, 03:35 AM
Then you remembered the best cure for a headache is sex, and now you enjoy it daily to ward off the pain.

I hate Halloween.

janetbellinger
11-01-2006, 05:16 AM
But the candy is gone and the kids have quit ringing yoru doorbell.

I have to substitute teach ALL DAY tomorrow.

sammyig
11-01-2006, 06:57 AM
But then you'll have that extra money in your pocket.

My car is on the fritz again.

Silver King
11-01-2006, 07:13 AM
And when your cat, Fritz, got out from under the car, you were relieved to see he was still alive, though slightly flattened.

All the stores are closed for the night, and I have barely enough wine to get drunk.

sammyig
11-01-2006, 08:03 PM
But that means you can devote the extra time to writing.

I have an earache.

janetbellinger
11-01-2006, 10:21 PM
That means you won't be able to hear people nagging you.

I've got a migraine

sammyig
11-01-2006, 11:52 PM
But that means you can go to bed early.

I hate the rain.

Jack_Roberts
11-01-2006, 11:56 PM
But the rain looooves you!

I can’t type fast.

sammyig
11-02-2006, 12:00 AM
But fast typers can make lots of mistakes.

I wish I had a pet anteater.

Jack_Roberts
11-02-2006, 12:08 AM
But the ants living in your kitchen are greatful you don't!

I wish dogs could talk.

sammyig
11-02-2006, 12:13 AM
But talking dogs would rule the world.

I wish I knew a vampire.

Jack_Roberts
11-02-2006, 12:25 AM
Don't. They keep you writing thier histories non-stop. ;) Hey, at least you know weird fiends. Us Absoluters!

I wish I had a longer lunch time.

sammyig
11-02-2006, 12:28 AM
But then you wouldn't have as much time to write.

Oh look! A Squirrel!

Jack_Roberts
11-02-2006, 12:45 AM
*Annabelle flies after the juicy thing* "A snack!"

I wish I could avoid falling asleep here at work.

sammyig
11-02-2006, 12:47 AM
But work can wait.

I think that Annabelle would hate Lizard blood.

MajorDrums
11-02-2006, 12:57 AM
that's good for Annabelle, because lizards usually like to frolick in the sun.

i haven't had a boyfriend in years...

Jack_Roberts
11-02-2006, 01:01 AM
But think of all the time you have to write!

I keep wandering away from my day job back to these threads!

I'm not sure if she likes lizard blood. I'll find out when I cover her adventures in the Old West in book 7.

Jaycinth
11-02-2006, 01:01 AM
But on the upside I'm sure you are much more productive without dramatized tantrums in your life.

I've still got six inches of work on my desk, and that's just to get to the 'in' box.

Jack_Roberts
11-02-2006, 01:06 AM
You could set it on fire.

Can't concentraite. Can't focus. Up too late with candy-crazed offspring.

janetbellinger
11-02-2006, 03:02 AM
But they still have lots of candy left and you don't have to feed them dinner.

I'm out of inspiration for the day.

Jack_Roberts
11-02-2006, 04:15 AM
Now you can go for a walk and watch the crazy people. They are great insperation!

My cat likes to scratch my couch!

sammyig
11-02-2006, 06:36 AM
But the effort is worth the wait. The Pumpkin bread is going to be outstanding!

I hate to drink water.

Jack_Roberts
11-02-2006, 07:11 AM
But drinking blood can get you in trouble so at least there's that.

I've got waaay too many Halloween things to watch on my TiVo.

sammyig
11-02-2006, 07:19 AM
But you can watch Halloween things all year 'round. At least I do.


I wish a new vampire movie was coming out.

Jack_Roberts
11-02-2006, 07:33 AM
Give it time. ;) One will.

My Daughters’ are playing with nakid Ken dolls again.

sammyig
11-02-2006, 07:35 AM
But at least Ken doesn't have correct anatomy.

I wish they would release the special edition Breakfast Club DVD with the extra 1.5 hours of material.

Jack_Roberts
11-02-2006, 05:50 PM
I'm sure they will. Just wait for the ... 20 yr anniversary? Just how long ago WAS that?

Man, I'm old. The eighties were forever ago and the ninties zipped away in a blur. Sigh.

Jack_Roberts
11-02-2006, 06:00 PM
But now you can take a break with us!

I, on the other hand, have to get busy here at work.

Sigh. Scanner here I come.

sammyig
11-02-2006, 07:12 PM
Maybe your boss will chip in and buy you one of those fancy scanners that just take pictures of the pages!

My eyeballs feel like they are going to pop out of my head.

Jack_Roberts
11-02-2006, 10:30 PM
Maybe you should hold them in place?

I need to get back to work!

sammyig
11-02-2006, 10:41 PM
Work is what pays the bills!

I need to find some pictures on Appalachian hardwood trees.

Jack_Roberts
11-02-2006, 11:13 PM
http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Special%3ASearch&search=Appalachian+hardwood+trees&fulltext=Search

Give those a try!

I really don't want that 2nd Dr. Pepper...

sammyig
11-02-2006, 11:58 PM
Yes, you do. Dr. Pepper will make you strong!

I can't believe I just sorta wrote a synopsis of my story by accident.

Jack_Roberts
11-03-2006, 05:57 PM
But it was a nice synopsis that showed me where you were going with it. Besides, how can you write the thing if you don't have something to show you WHERE your going?

Back at work when there is so many things I want to do online.

janetbellinger
11-04-2006, 03:40 AM
But yo ur boss goes for an extended bathroom break so you get to go online anyway.

I have a migraine (again.) All those little voices in the classroom raised at once to a muted roar.

eldragon
11-04-2006, 04:14 AM
It's wonderful how you get those little brains thinking about projects!


This daylight savings time is a real adjustment.....

MajorDrums
11-04-2006, 05:34 PM
but it's cool to have a pretend time warp moment at 2am twice a year!

i really don't like one of my MCs in my WIP...

janetbellinger
11-04-2006, 08:24 PM
Nobody else will either, so you can kill him off and y our readers will be happy.

I'm still revising the novel I first wrote in 2002.

sammyig
11-05-2006, 07:43 AM
But when you get finished- it will be fabulous!

I still haven't finished my novel.

Jack_Roberts
11-05-2006, 01:00 PM
But you will Sammy! That vampire MC can't write it, you have to!

My back is itchy?

sammyig
11-06-2006, 06:53 AM
I can get you a back scratcher- for really cheap!

I cut my leg today.

Jack_Roberts
11-06-2006, 07:22 PM
Keep it away from the stars of your novel! Or my novel. Cuts heal, you'll be fine. :)

I have to wait two months to put up my new HP calendar.

sammyig
11-06-2006, 08:31 PM
But the extra time you have can be used to work on your next project!

I am really getting tired of eating turkey burgers.

Jaycinth
11-06-2006, 08:56 PM
On the upside though, your diet makes you look great in your clothes! And your heart rate, Blood pressure and cholesterol are the envy of the US Olympic team.

I wish I could do that, But I can't seem to stop eating chocolate and baklava, and my jeans are way tight.

Silver King
11-06-2006, 09:20 PM
But you look great in those tight jeans, which accentuate your curves to such a degree that make most men swoon with desire. No turkey burgers for you!

Speaking of desire, my not-so-subtle overtures have been rebuffed as of late by the love of my life.

sammyig
11-06-2006, 09:22 PM
But at least the love of your life knows that you are paying attention.

If only I could crank out 10,000 words on my WIP today.

Jack_Roberts
11-06-2006, 10:42 PM
But on the upside, if the reason is because you’re at work, well think of the cash you’re earning!

I wish I could swap for a better lunch than the soup I’m about to have.

TeddyG
11-06-2006, 10:44 PM
I and my jeans are way tight.

Why do I find that visual intriguing? :D

Jaycinth
11-07-2006, 12:10 AM
Why do I find that visual intriguing? :D
Teds, dear. You're cute. You're fresh too. Now, go take a good look at yourself in the mirror. See that smiling face? Slap it. Good.

Fresh.

Jack_Roberts
11-07-2006, 01:32 AM
Teds, dear. You're cute. You're fresh too. Now, go take a good look at yourself in the mirror. See that smiling face? Slap it. Good.

Fresh.

LOL! We've strayed away from the game though.

Jaycinth
11-07-2006, 06:31 PM
LOL! We've strayed away from the game though.
Hey, look on the bright side, I think he was trying to be optimistic!

It's really a shame I had to toss a bucket of icewater on the man. Now he's all wet, and I may have ruined that beautiful angora sweater he got for his birthday.

TeddyG
11-07-2006, 06:47 PM
http://www.xrtheme.com/content/emoticons/Avatars/08.gif

TeddyG
11-07-2006, 06:58 PM
This thread has been hijacked, but on the upside, you're all making me laugh, so proceed.

It is totally completely Jaycinth's fault. All I said was that the view in tight jeans from behind wasn't so bad...:D

That is innocent -- at least for me :D

Someone throw JC a Snickers or Torbelone...I like it when she fills out her jeans...

sammyig
11-07-2006, 07:02 PM
See that's optimistic!


On another note, I have a headache...blah.

Jaycinth
11-07-2006, 07:27 PM
Now, see, a headache is just your body's way of saying slow down and smell the roses. And ontop of that, you having a headache has made our dear 'Shrugged' ROFL. So, you see your headache is really a good thing.

While I, on the other hand, have a mess on my desk, no will power to do anything about it, and I'd truely prefer eating spicy crab balls and sipping red wine to anything I could possibly do at work.

sammyig
11-07-2006, 07:40 PM
And since I'm allergic to all types of fish, you won't have to worry about me stealing any of your spicy crab balls.

And that leaves me, at work, bored.

TeddyG
11-07-2006, 07:42 PM
you won't have to worry about me stealing any of your (deleted) crab balls.

You got guts! No one in AW would ever think of stealing Jaycinth's balls. That is an invitation to being murdered! :D

Jack_Roberts
11-07-2006, 08:56 PM
Jaycinth has balls? But she's a girl!

Silver King
11-07-2006, 09:07 PM
Jaycinth has balls? But she's a girl!
She grows them only when she's crabby.

Jaycinth
11-07-2006, 09:36 PM
She grows them only when she's crabby.

I take them from people as needed.
But to be optimistic here....I only take them from people with damaged chromosomes who aren't using them right.

Which is more than I can say for the IRS.

It's unfortunate that some people seem surprised by the fall gopher emigration.

sammyig
11-07-2006, 09:47 PM
But that means less holes in the ground

or is that less balls to be collected *l*

I Shrugged- I knew you weren't laughing at my headache- it's all good :)

I want some chocolate

Jack_Roberts
11-07-2006, 10:00 PM
But without it, you can long for it more and the memory will stay in your heart.
BLAGH! How lame.

I want that agent to email me!

sammyig
11-07-2006, 10:11 PM
She will

After I send Matthew to make her move much more quickly through her "to read" pile. Mwah ha ha h a

:( I'm bored.

sammyig
11-07-2006, 10:18 PM
But straight sugar will take your hiccups away!

I want work to end quickly so I can work on my WIP!

Jack_Roberts
11-07-2006, 10:19 PM
Go find a time turnner! :)

Thanks, sammy, for sending Mat to scare her. Maybe it will help.

I want to turn invisible, teliport to her office and read her mind.

sammyig
11-07-2006, 10:29 PM
But that's the thing- Matt can! *l*

I wish I could stop time.

Jack_Roberts
11-07-2006, 10:33 PM
He can teleport? Cool! Mine can’t do that! Can he turn into a bat, wolf or mist?

Take the batteries out of your clock!

I could go for more days when the boss isn’t around.

sammyig
11-07-2006, 10:37 PM
Well, sort of- he has wings- but they are lifesize. He doesn't do mist though.

And then you could spend more time on AW!

My back hurts.

Jack_Roberts
11-07-2006, 10:41 PM
Hmm, we all have our own takes on the vamp myths. ;)

Sorry about your back. You could hire a couple of big guys to walk on it?

Know any big guys?

sammyig
11-07-2006, 10:43 PM
hmmmmmm, no i don't, but I might be able to find one :)

Jack_Roberts
11-07-2006, 10:51 PM
Go look! We'll wait.

GAHH! HOT CHEESE! HOT CHEESE!

Anbone hab sombthink for my toungb?

sammyig
11-07-2006, 11:13 PM
You could put ice on it... no wait! Drink some Dr. pepper! Quick!

I gotta go vote , but I gotta wait for worky to be over.

Jack_Roberts
11-07-2006, 11:29 PM
You could ask your boss if you get a vote-break?

I need to vote too but I have no clue who to vote for.

sammyig
11-07-2006, 11:44 PM
That's great though- then if those in office turn out to be creeps, you can say- "well, I didn't know." and be off the hook!

My boss is out today- but my voting place is near where I live- so it would be too far to drive to.

Jack_Roberts
11-07-2006, 11:46 PM
And you can't fly. Ah well. You could use Astral projection?

I won’t get that last Dr. Pppper. I wont!

sammyig
11-08-2006, 12:02 AM
(actually, I can fly. So can Matt- its an Vampiric Olympic sport)

but nothing bad will happen if you drink the Dr. Pepper

Jack_Roberts
11-08-2006, 12:06 AM
But I won't have it for later!

Yes, all vampires can fly. But some of mine can sword fight!

* the main theme of Pirates of the Caribbean plays while he swishes back and forth *

sammyig
11-08-2006, 12:09 AM
But you can buy more on the way home

Swishing vampiric swordfighting swashbucklers! Now that's a tongue twister!

I wish that Annabelle could come visit. I could use a dose of her humor right about now.

Jack_Roberts
11-08-2006, 12:13 AM
“What do you want her for? She’s no fun. I’m older by two years and much more adventurous! Come fly!

I do wish some of my friends were here, but many are long dead.”

Roland, by way of

sammyig
11-08-2006, 12:15 AM
But Roland, you are my friend too!

You and Matt could go flying then come back to my house for a late night movie.

Jack_Roberts
11-08-2006, 12:23 AM
“Any other night I would love too, but my boring sister wanted us to patrol the city tonight. We have to keep watch for Dominic’s forces. She’s a real party pooper.”

“I heard that, brother! You would do well to listen to me. While you are out partying the night away, that hated monster could become one step closer to his goals! Now Sammy, I do appreciate your kind offer, but my big brother is a general in the Order of Righteous Vampires. Maybe he could come over on his night off from his duties?
I would like to extend an offer to your friend, Matthew, to join us in the campaign to rid the world of Dominic’s evil.”

“Party pooper.”

“Stop that!”

sammyig
11-08-2006, 12:30 AM
Matthew would love to, but right now he's drooling over a coconut cream pie- his one weakness is coconut- which makes him very hyper. He said that he would be happy to join you once the aftereffects of his coconut binge wears off.

Some evening that the both of you have off would be lovely. I am sure that we can find something fabulous to entertain ourselves with. :)

Jack_Roberts
11-08-2006, 12:45 AM
“Your vampire friend can eat regular food? How peculiar. Oh how I would long for that! The rules in our universe forbid us from supping from anything but blood.

What?

A strange mortal in one of their modern vehicles just sped by here. Ah well. I’ll never understand the ways of mortals. Maybe you could teach me sometime?”

Annabelle

sammyig
11-08-2006, 07:43 AM
Matthew is the product of supping the blood of the line of the first vampires. The first vampires were able to do anything- according to the legends he's heard.

I would be happy to teach you to drive, Annabelle. Name the time and place!

Jack_Roberts
11-08-2006, 08:16 AM
"Thank you Sammy but my brother 'taught' me in the 20's.

Do you feel it? The night is calling me! Want to chase rats with me?"

Jack_Roberts
11-08-2006, 08:35 AM
Ooops, sorry.

Silver King
11-08-2006, 08:35 AM
I'm optimistic that this game will have a long and fruitful life.

When I voted earlier, I had the unsettling feeling that my ballot might not make a difference in the outcome.

sammyig
11-08-2006, 06:53 PM
But at least you found out about it now! There is still time to make everything perfect.

Today is depressing. There is no sun. It is dreary. I feel like going back to bed.

Jack_Roberts
11-08-2006, 08:55 PM
But...
*music flare up*
The sun will come out, tomorrow! Bet your bottom dollar that TOMORROW there'll be suuuun!

I just feel blah today. Still tired.

sammyig
11-08-2006, 09:05 PM
But the blahs are good for writing depressing scenes. :)

I'm tired too- I wish today would hurry up and be over so I could go back to bed.

Jack_Roberts
11-08-2006, 09:09 PM
But with today taking so long, you can have all this time to think of story ideas!

I wish I could get my work done and not have to do it at the same time.

sammyig
11-08-2006, 09:10 PM
But getting your work done means having money for your critters!

I'm hungry.

Jack_Roberts
11-08-2006, 09:40 PM
Here! I'll squeeze some candy into my pc. Got it?

Huh, now I need to clean my pc.

sammyig
11-08-2006, 10:08 PM
but it still needed cleaned from the Dr. Pepper spill from yesterday, so you're killing two birds with one stone. :)

Matthew wants more coconut- do you think it's a good idea to feed him right now?

Jaycinth
11-08-2006, 11:15 PM
Fresh coconut is a healthy alternative to many junk foods. Feed away.

It would be nice to snack on fresh coconut, but I have so much work, a trip to that trendy restaurant is out of the question for lunch today.

sammyig
11-08-2006, 11:38 PM
But there might be a chance for a trip to the trendy restaurant tomorrow!

I hate the cold

Jack_Roberts
11-09-2006, 12:37 AM
So don't date Iceman!

I hate shoveling snow.

arrowqueen
11-09-2006, 03:09 AM
But afterwards you can come in, all rosy and tingling, and sit in front of the fire stuffing your face with chocolate and alcohol, secure in the knowledge that your hips won't expand in all directions, because you've already used all those calories, shovelling.

My cheese is going mouldy.

sammyig
11-09-2006, 07:49 AM
But if you move in time to the boom boom, you'll work your boom boom! And everybody likes a good boom boom!

I think I'm starting to get a migraine.

Silver King
11-09-2006, 08:25 AM
Refer to post #94 in this thread. Works (almost) every time.

I'm going to bed, wishing I had a headache to relieve...

sammyig
11-09-2006, 07:05 PM
But sometimes a little distraction is helpful.

I need to get back to work too.

Jack_Roberts
11-09-2006, 10:54 PM
Get to work slave! It's good for you!
THWACK!
Hired help these days!

sammyig
11-09-2006, 11:05 PM
And working allows you to afford to work on your WIP.

*is off to read some more vampy goodness*

Jack_Roberts
11-09-2006, 11:12 PM
And reading that is good for me! (cuase I'm itchin to know what you think!)

Lunch only has 45 minutes left.

sammyig
11-09-2006, 11:13 PM
but working pays the bills ( only thing I could think of that is optimistic about that)

I'm hungry...

Jack_Roberts
11-09-2006, 11:22 PM
*crams more leftover Halloween candy into disc drive*

*In Scotty voice*
It aint workin' Capt'n! I canna git it t' stick!

sammyig
11-09-2006, 11:24 PM
But sticky is good!

( ok wait.. that conjuers images that are rather frightening)

I want to go to sleep now.

Jack_Roberts
11-09-2006, 11:29 PM
Sleep perchance to dream of agents flying over, accepting your manuscript!

30 minutes till lunch is over! DO SOMETHING!

sammyig
11-09-2006, 11:34 PM
Spork!

Ok, that was something right, it was good? Im just past a scary part thingy...

*runs around like a mad monkey ape*

Jack_Roberts
11-09-2006, 11:40 PM
*slaps you with a spork*
Which scary part? Hawke?

OH AGENT!!! WHY DONT YOU EMAIL MEEEEE?

sammyig
11-09-2006, 11:42 PM
but if she isn't e-mailing you, maybe she's reading.

You hit the part right on the nose.

sammyig
11-09-2006, 11:46 PM
but if you go deaf, you won't have to hear people talking like idiots!

once again, my neck hurts.

Redd Ryden
11-09-2006, 11:52 PM
[Okay, okay. So I'll repost the post. I said: I'm not hearing the disgruntled voices in my head, today. Hmmm? Am I finally going deaf?]


but if you go deaf, you won't have to hear people talking like idiots!

once again, my neck hurts.


Sammy-- I'm really curious *how* you manage to bite your own neck. Kinky, me thinks.

So. Is it real or is it Memorex?

sammyig
11-09-2006, 11:53 PM
But I didn't bite my own neck, a nice vampire did it for me :)

I wish I could fly.

Jack_Roberts
11-10-2006, 01:48 AM
It wasn't any I know. They don't like to share the curse. If you were bit, are you one? And if you are one, why can't you fly?

I do not wish to be one, but I do wish I had more time to read about them.

sammyig
11-10-2006, 07:50 AM
But since you have the wish, make a book list- you can do it like everyone else- one at a time.

I'm tired.

Jongfan
11-10-2006, 08:49 AM
But you do have orange juice and a 5lb bag of sugar, it will serve as a nice replacement.

I have another 3 hours worth of work but am avoiding at all costs.

Silver King
11-10-2006, 07:58 PM
Avoiding work is healthy and leaves you more time to pursue what pleases you most.

While avoiding work yesterday to go fishing, I got sunburned, and it left tan lines on my face in the shape of sunglasses. Very stylish if you believe raccoons are hip.

Jaycinth
11-11-2006, 01:57 AM
You must have been reading the collective minds of everone who is anyone in fashion! Raccoon faces are really, really IN, HIP and all the rage. Everyone wants to be you and those who don;t want to be with you. You are invited to Sundance and Hollywood and the best parties in New York. The Donald is fighting with Oprah as to who will be first to have their pictures taken with you. Janet Evanovich is putting your pic on the cover of her next steamy novel.

That's all well and good, but the color this year is sunshine yellow and it makes me look like vomit.

Silver King
11-11-2006, 02:54 AM
But others perceive you in yellow differently, especially when you wear a soft sweater and spiked heel shoes that cast a sheen like wet gold; and what really knocks them out is when the look is offset by those dark, tight jeans you favor.

The Donald stopped fighting with Oprah long enough to inform me that neither one wished to have their picture taken with a red raccoon, and when Janet Evanovich found out, she cancelled the photo shoot for her next novel, adding, "Sorry, but we needed you to look steamy, not steamed."

sammyig
11-14-2006, 07:40 PM
But at least you've started! Just continue everyday,and you'll work yourself up to doing more.

I hate days like this. I'm tired, depressed, and my back hurts.

Jack_Roberts
11-14-2006, 10:52 PM
But at least your brain hasn't been stolen and your head sliced.

My Tivo broke last night in the middle of 'Heroes'.

sammyig
11-14-2006, 10:54 PM
Well, at least they will show the episode again on reruns!

I need help finding my misplaced muse...

Jack_Roberts
11-14-2006, 11:05 PM
Sci Fi airs it too, but I WANT IT NOOOOWWW! ;)

You're muse is just playing hide and seek. Maybe if you reread some of your WIP, maybe it will kick back in gear.

I need more water.

sammyig
11-14-2006, 11:12 PM
But fi you ran out of water, that means you can drink Dr. Pepper!

Here musy musy musy! Come here girl!

Darn. didn't work.

Jack_Roberts
11-14-2006, 11:14 PM
Isn't you muse a guy? Try blood cotails!

I need to shorten my bio to one page before my wife sends it out tomorrow with the partial.

sammyig
11-14-2006, 11:18 PM
but that means you can really refine it!

I think I just popped my bad wrist.

Jack_Roberts
11-14-2006, 11:25 PM
BUT AT LEAST YOU DIDNT POP YOUR GOOD WRIST!

Ooops, caps.

I need to look before I type.

sammyig
11-14-2006, 11:27 PM
but at least it made it fun!

I feel like falling to sleep.

Jack_Roberts
11-14-2006, 11:33 PM
Don't fall! You'll bruise your Wa-wa!

i JUST TYPED "WA-WA?" Damn! Caps again!

sammyig
11-14-2006, 11:34 PM
Well, since I don't know what a wa-wa is, I think that we can be optimistic and say that I will never bruise my wa-wa.

But I might have bruised my kit-kat.

Jack_Roberts
11-14-2006, 11:39 PM
You should have eaten your kit-kat long ago.

I want to go get my Dr Pepper but Ive got to keep up with these games!

sammyig
11-14-2006, 11:40 PM
But Dr. Pepper does a body good!

Now where did I put my liquorish flavored cockroach juice bar?

Jack_Roberts
11-15-2006, 01:44 AM
In the fridge, next to the severed head of Zombie-Fred! Go get it! It's fresh!

Crud, I need to pause the Christmas music to go to the bathroom. But this is a good song!

sammyig
11-15-2006, 07:11 PM
Relax, it will be there when you get back!

I wish I could remember the words to O tannenbaum...

sammyig
11-15-2006, 07:58 PM
But the cold means the bugs have gone away for the winter.

Akk my neck hurts.

Jack_Roberts
11-15-2006, 10:25 PM
But you're in luck! The one who cuased your neck to hurt will be occupied with the girl next to you, so you get a night for those bite marks to heal!

Too much work to do.

sammyig
11-15-2006, 10:33 PM
but that means you'll get paid for all your time!

I wish I could spend all day working on my WIP.

Jack_Roberts
11-15-2006, 10:46 PM
You will, on he weekend!

I wish I could do the same!

sammyig
11-15-2006, 10:48 PM
You will, your kids want to read it all!

I have to go to the gym tonight.

Jack_Roberts
11-15-2006, 11:18 PM
But at least you don't have to go to Jim tonight. That guy is always mooching on your cash!

I can't think of something negitive to put here.

sammyig
11-15-2006, 11:20 PM
but you will soon.

I, on the other hand, am hungry for chocolate covered bar fur,

Jack_Roberts
11-15-2006, 11:36 PM
Go rub down a werewolf with candy and bite!

Ew, not I cant get hairy chocolate out of my mind.

sammyig
11-15-2006, 11:37 PM
But that will make you feel gritty!

Blah, Im tired.

Jack_Roberts
11-15-2006, 11:46 PM
Me too!

But after a good afternoon sleep you'll be wide awake!

sammyig
11-15-2006, 11:47 PM
being wide awake is a good thing.

I wish I had a pet vampire.

Jack_Roberts
11-15-2006, 11:48 PM
but they make better friends then pets.

I wish I had the day off.

sammyig
11-15-2006, 11:50 PM
At least the weekend is coming soon.

maybe i just need to marry a vampire.

Jack_Roberts
11-15-2006, 11:52 PM
Maybe your future hubby will be one?

I'm getting tired and running out of lunch time.

sammyig
11-15-2006, 11:52 PM
Well, there is always tomorrow!

I don't know any single vampires :(

Jack_Roberts
11-15-2006, 11:57 PM
Have you tried Vampire-hookup-.net?

Thats not a real site, though.

sammyig
11-15-2006, 11:59 PM
Maybe your vampires know someone?

I'm hungry.

yanallefish
11-17-2006, 08:29 AM
But there are loads of nice berries right here in the woods!

It's raining, and the low air pressure is making me dizzy.

Silver King
11-17-2006, 09:29 AM
Some fish swim deep, and when they come back up to where light separates water from sky, they pause against the blue film which divides heaven from the sea. The yanallefish looks up and down and finds her way by steering to where pressure is constant and equilibrium always holds true.

My favorite sister is mad at me and won't listen to any of the lame excuses I made up to make her feel differently.

yanallefish
11-17-2006, 10:02 AM
Your second wind is coming in! (ok, I have been listening to this Billy Joel album too long*g*)

Sigh. My IM isn't working and I'm trying to reach a good friend!

Silver King
11-17-2006, 10:23 AM
You won't lose any jazz in your sleep, for you'll hear the sound of horns trailing along dark areas for long distances; and a piano will be there too, far away, the keys barely touched with a softness like hair falling on a pillow.

I don't know how much more I've got left to give.

Silver King
11-17-2006, 10:25 AM
There I go, messing up the game again.:)

Good night...

yanallefish
11-17-2006, 10:32 AM
Ah, but the game will be fixed shortly by some strange small person...

...who sadly, has an equally small word count because she can't focus properly. Grr.

arrowqueen
11-18-2006, 04:52 AM
Never mind. Your subsequent conviction will lead to your writing the century's best prison novel.

I have the cold again.

janetbellinger
11-18-2006, 05:19 AM
Yes but orange juice never tasted so good.

I'm going to an alcohol themed party tomorrow night and I will be the only one there not drinking. bummer, how do I amuse myslelf?

Silver King
11-18-2006, 05:24 AM
Bring a video camera and show footage to the revelers the next day.

Now I can't go to Janet's party for fear of starring in her film.

Soccer Mom
11-18-2006, 08:24 AM
But you know that she will share it with us, so all is good.

I'm barely scraping by in my NaNo wordcount.

limitedtimeauthor
11-18-2006, 09:07 AM
But you're caught up on all your other chores!

I spent too much time on AW today.

yanallefish
11-19-2006, 08:04 AM
Ah, but now you are totally relaxed and of course uplifted by hanging with your community, so you're ready to get to work doing more writing, aren't you!

I, on the other hand, have a horrible problem with figuring the logistics of this fight scene.

limitedtimeauthor
11-19-2006, 08:36 AM
But the time you'll spend on research will someday save your life when you're walking in a dark alley!

Tonight I found myself enjoying William Shatner's music. :D

limitedtimeauthor
11-20-2006, 07:28 AM
Tonight I found myself enjoying William Shatner's music. :D

No one could find anything optimistic about that? :e2paperba

Jaycinth
11-20-2006, 08:37 PM
William Shatner's music? Wow. Isn't it great that you lived long enough to enjoy it without resorting to drugs.

I, on the otherhand, got a Lenorad Nemoy album as part of the divorce settlement.

limitedtimeauthor
11-20-2006, 09:12 PM
But you didn't get the one by Scottie!

I gave up my dream of being an Olympic athlete after Pilates class this morning.

Jaycinth
11-20-2006, 09:14 PM
However, someone observing your effort did mistake you for a triathalon coach. Good work.

***running in with wet ferret***
Wet Ferret!! Wet Ferret!!
***runs out**

Shadow_Ferret
11-20-2006, 09:25 PM
They had a special on William SHattner's music the other night.

Fun stuff.

arrowqueen
11-21-2006, 02:48 AM
Luckily ferrets' hearing is geared to a much higher pitch, so you actually missed most of it.

It's bloody freezing here tonight.

Silver King
11-21-2006, 03:08 AM
A small space shared with a warm body under a blanket will replace the chill in your bones with a rising heat to keep the cold at bay.

My gambling loses are catching up to me.

limitedtimeauthor
11-21-2006, 03:09 AM
But at least the blood won't start to stink!

I never really write anything. I just read AW and other stuff - even during NaNo!!!! :(

limitedtimeauthor
11-21-2006, 03:12 AM
Whoops. Sorry Silver King...didn't see ya there.


My gambling loses are catching up to me.

But you can now run a 3-minute mile!

Mine is same as before! I'm not even sure I can call myself a writer when all I do is read AW and other books! :(

Silver King
11-21-2006, 03:26 AM
Whoops. Sorry Silver King...didn't see ya there.

That's okay. I think my post nudged yours by only a few seconds. If you go upthread a bit, you'll see I've done the same, only I was late by more than thirty minutes.;)


Mine is same as before! I'm not even sure I can call myself a writer when all I do is read AW and other books! :(
Being a published writer is overrated.

Now everyone on this board is mad at me.