View Full Version : However melodramatically, I have returned.

10-09-2006, 08:58 PM
Hi everyone. I'm back after a brief haitus. I'm sorry to say it was because my dad found out he has bowel cancer. He has caught it as early as one could hope to, however, and a corrective operation on Thursday should put everything right in time for Christmas.

It was a horrible shock because he's not the kind of guy who gets sick at all and we (however naively) assumed that meant something. The news has shaken him but he has coped remarkably in the face of something so suffocating. Like most every problem he's faced in his life, he turned to books and saturated himself with information, reading just about everything he could get his hands on - to the degree that during a pre-op consultation, the specialist told him there wasn't anything she could tell him of use because he was finishing her sentences.

He has decided that after he recovers from the operation (nice and optimistic, dad, well done) he will spend time supporting others who are going through the same thing and are suffering from the combination of too much of the wrong kind of information and the entertainment of every 'what if' that pops into one's head during the inescapably sleepless nights that are part and parcel of something like this. It's clear his perspective on cancer and the plight of other cancer patients has shifted from sympathy into empathy and it seems to have started a fire in him that wasn't there before, God bless him.

This coming week will be difficult but his surgery is being performed by a specialist hospital who are pioneers in the field and seek to promote quality of life post-op as well as 'unseating' the cancer. Most of the local hospitals were not as enthusiastic about taking greater risks for the patient's benefit and could only offer the kind of surgeries that, whilst largely successful, impose very restrictive and less dignified lifestyles once they are complete.

Adding to dad's newly-discovered philanthropy, he has also agreed to allow the operation to be viewed by some 50+ doctors, researchers and medical students. Mum is putting a brave face on things by joking about getting front row seats and bringing along a magazine and a sandwich.

I needed to type this out for myself and I was going to bury it in the This Thread Shall Die thread but wanted to be sure that my other friends here didn't miss out on my sob story. And yes, I make jokes to mask anxiety. 'Pain in the a$$' jokes have been all the rage in our family these past few weeks.

For now I'm just happy to be back and hope to occupy myself enough that I don't go mental with worry. We're all cried out here and have said most of what needs to be said so it's really just a case of getting to work. This kind of abrupt reality intruding on my otherwise perfect life is never pleasant. But it serves a reminder, however pointed, that nothing and no-one are untouchable - and that life is very precious.

Hoping everyone here is safe and sound,

10-09-2006, 09:02 PM
Thanks for letting us know. My best wishes for a speedy recovery to your dad. (That's an order, not a request)

(((Hugs, too)))

10-09-2006, 09:02 PM
Sorry to hear about the bad news. I hope your dad is granted time enough to say everything he wants to say, do everything he needs to do, see everyone he needs to see, with lots left over to do with whatever he wishes.

It's scary to be faced with the mortality of one's parent (believe me, I know).

All the best to you and your family, and welcome back!

10-09-2006, 09:03 PM
Chris, I'm so sorry for your news. Your family soundslike they are coping well. With love, support, humor and knowledge. Glad he has armed himself with research. If it makes you feel better, my grandfather and stepfather both recovered from Prostate cancer and my grandmother from colon cancer. It can be done. I also have two great friends, one cured of breast cancer and the other still undergoing chemo, but has so far successfully beat brain cancer.
It can work! It really can. The optimism helps.
I'll be thinking of you and yours and please keep us updated!

Best to you and yours. Sending healthy vibes to your dad and steady hand vibes to his surgeons.


10-09-2006, 09:04 PM
I hope for the best for your father, your family, and for you. I find your father's upbeat attitude and willingness to help others nothing less than totally inspiring. We are here to provide any help you need.

10-09-2006, 09:04 PM
Great to see you back, Chris. I am sorry to hear the news about your dad.

I'm sending good vibes across the ocean for the operation. It sounds like you and your family are dealing with it in the traditional British fashion. :) A positive outlook can make a huge difference.


Don't disappear again, d'you hear me - it's like a member of the family heading off the radar. We worry, you know.

10-09-2006, 09:04 PM
Oh my heavens. Please accept my best wishes for your dad's health ! And hang in there yourself. :Hug2: You always have a support group here!

10-09-2006, 09:23 PM
Your dad sounds like a brave and amazing guy. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family during this time.

Thanks for the post.

Kate Thornton
10-09-2006, 10:04 PM
Best wishes speeding your way!

10-09-2006, 10:23 PM
Super-speedy healing and healthy positive vibes on their way to your dad and your family.

10-09-2006, 10:28 PM
How are you holding up, sweetie? Cancer doesn't just affect the one person, it touches everyone he loves. Take care of yourself and your mother as well! My uncle has successfully beat bladder cancer, I'm sure your father will whip it's @$$ too ;)

10-09-2006, 10:33 PM
Sorry to hear this Chris, but your dad's attitude will go a long way toward helping his recovery. Like the others have said, cancer can be beat. I like his odds. :)

10-09-2006, 10:43 PM
Thank you, everyone. You're so kind and so supportive. I'm going to print this thread off and give it to my dad. At least that way he'll know not to worry about me. I'm in very good hands here. Peace and love on you all.

Christine N.
10-09-2006, 11:58 PM
Sorry about your dad, clock. I lost my mother to colon cancer, but that was 20 years ago - they've come so far as far as treatment.

And this is a friendly PSA to go and have that colonoscopy! Everyone over the age of 50 should have one, and sooner if you have a family history. My gastroenterologist said I should have had one a decade before my mother was diagnosed, so in my TWENTIES. But I put it off and things came up, blah blah blah. I finally had one early this year and glad to say everything is ok.

The test is really simple, since you sleep through it, and not a whit of pain afterwards.

But the prep the night before sucks. Still, it was worth it to know.

10-10-2006, 12:18 AM
Add me on, buddy. I wish your da' all the best for a speedy recovery which I know is imminent.

A. Hamilton
10-10-2006, 12:37 AM
It's good to see you back. Hoping for the best with your Dad's health. He sounds like one in a million, thank you for sharing his story with us.

10-10-2006, 12:45 AM
Chris, you dad sounds just amazing. A positive attitude is so important during time of illness (hell, it's important any time). I wish you and your family strength and hope for everything to turn out well.



10-10-2006, 01:12 AM
My thoughts and prayers to you and your family. Your Dad sounds like he is getting through this with the love and support of a great family.
hugs and good good wishes Chris,

Ol' Fashioned Girl
10-10-2006, 01:58 AM
Chris! I'm so sorry! But as folks have pointed out above, your dad sounds like he's just cantankerous enough to win against this. There really have been tons of advances in the field of cancer treatment... with your support and love, as well as that of the rest of the family, he's already ahead.

And Christine's right, everyone. That colonoscopy is NOTHING. Do it. Seriously.

10-10-2006, 02:22 AM
Hope your Dad gets better very quickly. My Dad had prostate cancer a few years ago, (like your Dad, it was caught at the earliest possible time) and he's now fairly well fully recovered.

Your Mum sounds optimistic and fantastic. I'm really thinking of her too.

Lots of love xxxxx

10-10-2006, 02:37 AM
Sending healing vibes to your dad, and hugs to you and your whole family!

Soccer Mom
10-10-2006, 06:48 AM
Sorry to hear about your Dad, Chris. Glad it sounds like they may have caught it in time. Add me to the list here of well wishes hoping for healing.

10-10-2006, 07:39 PM
I'll keep your dad, you and your family in my thoughts. Hope all goes well. :Hug2:

10-10-2006, 09:45 PM
Hi Chris, sorry to hear that, but I hope everything comes out well.

Redd Ryden
10-10-2006, 10:28 PM
Chris-- So sorry to hear about your Dad-- but, so glad to hear about his up-beat attitude.

As I've posted before, many, many years ago-- when dirt was a pup-- my Mom had throat cancer while she was pregnant with me. She never-- NEVER-- smoked (even then, doctors said 2nd hand smoke...), and wasn't even a haphazard risk-taker (not that there was much one could accidentally do to affect one's health... provided we neutered our hamsters...). She's now an old, old, old, OLD woman and I'll just say I'm about 20 years younger than that. ;)

Take into consideration, that back then, the only way one was given a cat scan was when the surgeon picked up his persian and passed it reverently over your body.

What I'm trying to say is:
Things have come such a long, long way--
Your Dad's in good and miraculous hands.

Wishing ALL the best for you & your family!

10-11-2006, 12:35 AM
Wow. So, so touched by the good wishes expressed here. I printed off the thread and gave it to my dad at the train station when he left today. I told him what it was and he promised to read it. (He's not big on open mushiness because he always ends up crying.) If he gets half as much out of the blessings you guys have offered as I did then he'll be over the moon. Anyway, the op is on Thursday. I'll let you know when he's out of the woods.

Thank you again - from the bottom of my heart to the skies of my soul.

10-11-2006, 12:45 AM
Speedy recovery to your Dad.

Glad you are back. Pop in Ray's House of Love, you sure did liven up the place before.

10-13-2006, 01:05 AM

My dad's surgery went fantastically well my mum tells me. The surgeons (of which there were five in total who operated on him) were absolutely thrilled with their achievement and don't think it could have gone any better.

in the end, the surgery was watched by over a hundred other doctors and research consultants from all over who were there to learn from the technique and it's believed this particular technique will now be adopted by hospitals around the globe because they have shown that increased risk means increased reward and, to be honest, it's not that much riskier anyway.

Sorry I can't be more specific about this particular technique. The hospital's website is here if anyone is interested. http://www.pelicancentre.com/ I'm just happy it's over and he'll be back on his feet soon.

Once again thanks to everyone who wished my family well. I couldn't have asked for a kinder and more uplifting response to something that was really getting me down.

10-13-2006, 01:07 AM
great news, Chris!! thanks for the update!

10-13-2006, 02:19 AM
Great news about the op, Chris. I hope the rest of his recovery is as good.


10-13-2006, 02:45 AM
That's terrific. Things can only get better from now on, hey?

10-13-2006, 04:13 AM

I'm so glad. If he needs any uplifting stories of other successes, I'll be happy to share the details about my own father.

10-13-2006, 04:48 AM
Glad to hear the surgery went so well, and that everyone's good wishes have helped you and your family over this bump in the road.

When Mr. Maryn had leukemia, he was pleased to be in people's prayers and to receive their good wishes for full recovery, but he was still himself, not his illness. It did him a lot of good to have a laugh or talk about something other than his health.

It did me a lot of good, too, so make sure you still do things you enjoy. Urge your mum to do the same.

Do let us know if you run out of jokes and funny stories. We've got a million of them!

Maryn, keeping your family in her thoughts

Jean Marie
10-13-2006, 07:15 AM
Aw, Chris, I'm thrilled to hear your dad's doing so well :Hug2: I'm sorry to have been so preoccupied as to not have responded to this thread, earlier.

Please wish your dad a speedy recovery for me. And it sounds as if all of you will be back w/ the jokes, soon :D

Redd Ryden
10-13-2006, 08:27 AM
Chris-- What good news!! Hopefully, in the next few days, when you ask your Dad how he feels-- he'll feel well enough to say: "With my fingers, like always!"

(You see, I'm bettin' you got your humor from him)

Now comes the "resting up" phase. Hope you ALL feel better soon.