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View Full Version : I'm lethargic and out of sorts...



scarletpeaches
10-07-2006, 05:21 PM
...but not depressed. I know what that feels like. I'm just blue.

I know why, I can't do anything about it, so I'll just have to wait til it passes.

So I thought I'd see if fellow AWs could do their party tricks to raise a smile. :D

Yup yup yup, it's one of those, "I'm t!tted off about something, cheer me up!" threads.

poetinahat
10-07-2006, 05:28 PM
Okay, dear Scarlet, prepare yourself for the most beautiful armpit ocarina rendition of "Every Breath You Take" you're ever likely to hear.

Ann-a one,ann-a two...

pblp-pblp pbbbblllhp plbbhp plbhhbmpblllbbbhppppp...

scarletpeaches
10-07-2006, 05:29 PM
I used to like Australians.

Maryn
10-07-2006, 05:31 PM
Well, let's see.

I like your new avatar picture. There's something Lauren Bacall-ish about those eyes--like they know something and see right through you.

Okay, that wasn't exactly cheery, just an observation. We need overt humor! (Maryn opens the file labeled HUMOR.) Ah, here we go.

The Twenty Least-Popular Smurfs

Soccer Hooligan Smurf

Heartbreak of Psoriasis Smurf

Anthrax Mailer Smurf

Goth-Poser Smurf

NAMBLA Chapter President Smurf

Painful Rectal Itchy Smurf

Sleeps-With-All-Your-Friends Smurfette

Smurfed Out of His #$%@ing Mind Smurf

L. Ron Smurf, author of "Smurfanetics"

Frequently Reassigned Priest Smurf

Smegma Smurf

Cop-Taunting Shirtless Smurf

Near-Suicidal Former Child Actor Smurf

Fey Magician Smurf

Constant Unfulfilled Promises of Oral Sex Smurf

Nick Nolte Mug Shot Smurf

Teenage Angst-Ridden Loner with a Penchant for Firearms Smurf

Grammar Nazi Smurf

White Middle-Class Mall Rat Trying to Act All Black Smurf

and the Number 1 Least-Loved Smurf...

Testicles-Big-as-Your-Head Smurf

Maryn, noting your pretty smile

scarletpeaches
10-07-2006, 05:32 PM
Yup, that did it. Anything rectal makes me laugh. :D

You'll note between the time I started this thread and now, my hair got longer and blonder. Thus appears the hairdo I got on Thursday.

aadams73
10-07-2006, 05:34 PM
Yup, that did it. Anything rectal makes me laugh. :D


Then you'll love the new cure for hiccups:

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2006/10/06/ig_nobel_awards/

poetinahat
10-07-2006, 05:35 PM
Holy Moses. If Maryn hasn't done the trick, you're beyond hope. I'm all cheered up now after you slammed my adopted people.

Excuse me while I just go somewhere to laugh a while.

Oh, and don't touch the ocarina while I'm gone. It's a Sagittarivarius, for people who like fiddling with astrology.

scarletpeaches
10-07-2006, 05:36 PM
Dear God! :O

The next time I get a boyfriend, if he tries the old, "It'll cure your hiccups if you let me," line...

aadams73
10-07-2006, 05:38 PM
No kidding. Last night night my dog had hiccups, and my husband said to her, "mommy has a new cure for your hiccups." Bastard.

poetinahat
10-07-2006, 05:42 PM
Thanks, all of you, for confirming a bit of speculation:

Women's dirty jokes are *way* dirtier than men's dirty jokes. My spies from the Gay Intelligence were correct.

scarletpeaches
10-07-2006, 05:46 PM
No one's allowed to be happy in this thread, poet. At least until I say so.

I need chocolate.

aadams73
10-07-2006, 05:46 PM
Shhh...don't tell anyone.

(I recall a time in college when I painted a mental picture so gross that my male friends couldn't finish their lunch)

scarletpeaches
10-07-2006, 05:48 PM
Pretty similar to the one I'm painting just now, I reckon...;)

TeddyG
10-07-2006, 05:49 PM
Poet...you are surprised by the ole 73 and her sense of humor?
Hah! I dont even want to allude to what she was talking about in the wine thread.....my virgin ears could not take it again.

Now scarlet....
in good ole Teddy style....

VA VA VOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
VROOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
if that av is you....i am so drooling!

(shuddup aadams...shuddup...no comments from the peanut gallery)

scarletpeaches
10-07-2006, 05:50 PM
Yes it is me. :D

A 'friend' threatened to give me a Frisco Wristwatch on the strength of seeing my new 'do'.

aadams73
10-07-2006, 06:05 PM
A Frisco Wristwatch? Please, oh please, tell me that is nothing like a Dirty Sanchez or a Donkey Punch.

aadams73
10-07-2006, 06:06 PM
Poet...you are surprised by the ole 73 and her sense of humor?
Hah! I dont even want to allude to what she was talking about in the wine thread.....my virgin ears could not take it again.



HA! I am a sweet and clean-minded woman. And I couldn't even type that with a straight face.

scarletpeaches
10-07-2006, 06:18 PM
A Frisco Wristwatch? Please, oh please, tell me that is nothing like a Dirty Sanchez or a Donkey Punch.

Ask yourself what Frisco is famous for - along with Sydney, Amsterdam and various other places.

Then think, "Right up to the wristwatch, baby."

And cringe.

TeddyG
10-07-2006, 06:20 PM
Homeless?????????????????????

:D

aadams73
10-07-2006, 06:23 PM
Ask yourself what Frisco is famous for - along with Sydney, Amsterdam and various other places.

Then think, "Right up to the wristwatch, baby."

And cringe.

Ouch!!!

Gawd, I hope you said no.

poetinahat
10-07-2006, 06:27 PM
Um, your 'friend' isn't Flavor Flav, by any chance?

jst5150
10-07-2006, 06:41 PM
No one's mentioned the 'Cleveland Steamer'?

Wow. How'd we get his far without that?

Or maybe, for Scarlet, the reason why the Allman Brothers album is called "Eat a Peach."

Elvin warrior poem calls ...

scarletpeaches
10-07-2006, 06:44 PM
Ouch!!!

Gawd, I hope you said no.

Damn straight.

And poet - no he isn't, but I wouldn't even if he was.

Joaquin Phoenix on the other hand...

D'y'know, said 'friend' phoned me while I was watching Gladiator last night. He. Must. Be. Punished.

scarletpeaches
10-07-2006, 06:45 PM
No one's mentioned the 'Cleveland Steamer'?

Wow. How'd we get his far without that?

Or maybe, for Scarlet, the reason why the Allman Brothers album is called "Eat a Peach."

Elvin warrior poem calls ...

Explain.

aadams73
10-07-2006, 06:47 PM
No one's mentioned the 'Cleveland Steamer'?

Or maybe, for Scarlet, the reason why the Allman Brothers album is called "Eat a Peach."


:D

This thread went south fast. Which is what Scarlet wanted.

aadams73
10-07-2006, 06:48 PM
Explain.

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=cleveland+steamer

You'll be sorry you asked.

I have to go use my barf bag now.

poetinahat
10-07-2006, 06:59 PM
I sense an impending thread lock....

jbal
10-07-2006, 07:11 PM
I saw one of those leisure learning magazines once that offered a course called "FFFB". Fist f***ing for beginners. No kidding.

scarletpeaches
10-07-2006, 07:16 PM
Oh dear god. This thread hasn't just gone downhill; it's downhill, underground and sinking fast.

In a valiant attempt to get us all back onto the subject I intended (i.e. How Great I Am), let me say this:

"Look at moy, look at moy, look at moy!"

aadams73
10-07-2006, 07:42 PM
So how do you expect us to entertain you?

scarletpeaches
10-07-2006, 07:46 PM
Parade up and down in front of me, nekkit but for the tassels covering your naughty bits, while singing "SexyBack".

aadams73
10-07-2006, 07:49 PM
Yikes! I don't think anyone here wants their retinas irreparably scorched.

Now if the fellas want to shake their groove thangs...

scarletpeaches
10-07-2006, 07:55 PM
Is Justin Trousersnake a member?

*snort* I said 'member'.

jbal
10-07-2006, 07:56 PM
Parade up and down in front of me, nekkit but for the tassels covering your naughty bits, while singing "SexyBack".
I already did that! You never paid me the last time...

jst5150
10-07-2006, 08:10 PM
Is there some sort of snuggie that comes with the tassel to make it fit correctly?

scarletpeaches
10-07-2006, 08:12 PM
Gaffer tape?

jbal
10-07-2006, 08:14 PM
staples

scarletpeaches
10-07-2006, 08:15 PM
Yikes!

tiny
10-07-2006, 08:16 PM
rubberbands :D

jst5150
10-07-2006, 08:17 PM
My thoughts were more toward scrunchy, or tube sock.

Nothing, however, in the BDSM area.

jbal
10-07-2006, 08:17 PM
needle and thread?

scarletpeaches
10-07-2006, 08:18 PM
I can smell a thread going down the crapper again...

jst5150
10-07-2006, 08:19 PM
Before we flush, let's remind Scarlet of her beautific aura ...

tiny
10-07-2006, 08:20 PM
prince albert says you don't need anything extra to hold the tassle on.... huh?

You look smashing Scarlet. Love the blonde.

jbal
10-07-2006, 08:26 PM
I can smell a thread going down the crapper again...
Let's remember where it started.

scarletpeaches
10-07-2006, 08:33 PM
*snort* You said remember.

jbal
10-07-2006, 08:40 PM
Thanks, I hate to think I'm singlehandedly lowering standards.