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DamaNegra
10-06-2006, 03:47 AM
Today, I had the most freaky experience in my whole life. The kid must've been 5 or 6 at the most.

So I was in the WOMEN'S dressing room after an exhausting capoeira class. I was late for my Heat and Electronics class, so I needed tho change quickly and run. I opened my locker and was halfway through pulling my shirt off when I heard a little male voice next to me.

"Hi." ****! I pulled my shirt back on as quickly as I could, hoping the little boy had seen nothing. I look around. There are two older women at the bathroom, doing their hairs. I figure one of them brought her kid in, but please!

"Hi." I said. He starts peeking inside my locker and holds up a can of spray deodorant.

"What's this?"

"Deodorant."

"Can I put it on?"

"No... it's girl's deodorant. You don't want to smell like a girl."

"I don't care." Ok. I spend the next 5 or 6 minutes teaching the kid how to put on the deodorant, and finally I do it myself since I'm on a rush.

By then, a teacher had opened her locker and he wandered over to see what he could play with in there. I hid behind a locker and changed as fast as I could. I was already 5 minutes late. I put on a floor-lenght cyan skirt and a black shirt with neon scribbles all over it and RUN out of the women's dressing room.

The little boy is now there, outside. I say hi again and proceed to run. He grabs my skirt.

"Why are you wearing a dress?"

"Well, these are my classroom clothes. I was just wearing my sports clothes. So now I'm wearing my classroom clothes because I need to go to the classroom and I'm late." I figure he can take a hint. He can't.

"I don't like this skirt," he said, pulling it. "You should wear a shorter skirt."

I'm like, WTF?!??!!? I check him out again. Nope, not older than 5 years old. Then WHY IN THE WORLD is he asking me to wear a shorter skirt? Okay, I try not to freak out. I play along. I rearrange the skirt so it's mid-calf.

"No, not like that," he said. "Much, much shorter."

Okay, now I'm officially freaked out. What are these kids taught in kinder?!? Needless to say, I ran away. I could still hear him yell:

"Wear a shorter skirt!"

Damn!

alleycat
10-06-2006, 03:51 AM
Boys start early . . .

Although I'd be concerned about that deodorant thing.

;-)

Cath
10-06-2006, 03:52 AM
Good grief! I know people say kids are growing up faster these days, but that's ridiculous.

I do a lot of pottery in my local studio, and I get kids coming up to me all the time wanting to see what I'm up to.

One of them, stopped and did the ususal "hey cool" before following it with "I bet you make loads of money doing that." I tried to explain that it was a hobby and I didn't make money. So he started interrogating me about why I did this if I didn't make money. He just couldn't understand it. The kid couldn't have been older than 6.

SpookyWriter
10-06-2006, 03:58 AM
"I don't like this skirt," he said, pulling it. "You should wear a shorter skirt."Next time mention how you would, but you're afraid people might ask about the mole. :tongue

PeeDee
10-06-2006, 03:59 AM
That was me. I was channeling myself through him. Sorry. I haven't quite got the hang of it.

SpookyWriter
10-06-2006, 04:06 AM
That was me. I was channeling myself through him. Sorry. I haven't quite got the hang of it.Try tying a string around it next time so you won't forget.

ChaosTitan
10-06-2006, 04:09 AM
Where the frak was this kid's mom????

I swear.... not to get into a rant over inattentive parents, but...okay, I can't help it.

Sometimes I want to build a pen in the middle of my store for unattended children. Occasionally a parent seems to think that since they are in a small store, their kid can wander as they wish. Nevermind the fact that their spawn has spent the last ten minutes removing every ornament within reach of their grabby little claws from its hook, and putting it down on the floor. One massive, glittery pile.

Did Mom apologize? No, she just told the spawn to stay close to her.

Guess who had to put them all back? :rant:

PeeDee
10-06-2006, 04:21 AM
I know! They do that in the store I work at too. Because I work in the Electronics department (hell; I AM the electronics department) people assume that me and my video games are there to babysit their kids while they wander off.

I do keep an eye on kids when they're alone in my area, because that's just me, but if they leave...they leave. And then the parents come back and are irked that I let their kids leave.

I'm going to whack the next idiot parent. Mark my words.

SpookyWriter
10-06-2006, 04:24 AM
I'm going to whack the next idiot parent. Mark my words.It could be you someday. Ever think of that? Hahhahhaaa...Little Peter Butter the II...flipping skirts at six...hahhaaa...

PeeDee
10-06-2006, 04:40 AM
It could be you someday. Ever think of that? Hahhahhaaa...Little Peter Butter the II...flipping skirts at six...hahhaaa...

Tha's mah boy!

threedogpeople
10-06-2006, 04:43 AM
I have an, almost, foolproof way to get rid of the nosey kids in the dressing room, bathroom, airplane (seat kickers YIKES), movie theater, etc.

I look the kid right in the eye, making sure that I have their attention, then I ask "Has your mother told you about stranger-danger?"

The kid almost always says, "yes".

Then I say, "I'm the stranger your mother told you not to talk to" and then I make a very mean face.

Sorry, parents, but it is self-defense when you are tired, in a hurry, and don't have the time or patience to deal with a child. Besides, the kid shouldn't be bothering, interacting, or speaking to a stranger.

TsukiRyoko
10-06-2006, 04:44 AM
:roll: I have no words!

PeeDee
10-06-2006, 04:53 AM
That's brilliant. Stranger-Danger should be a rock band.

TsukiRyoko
10-06-2006, 05:10 AM
Stranger-Danger, the number one rock band in America, composed entirely of 6 year old perverts.... Hmmm....

PeeDee
10-06-2006, 05:11 AM
I guess the groupie scene would make them happy. :D

TsukiRyoko
10-06-2006, 05:14 AM
Ha! I can see a bunch of little kids with spiky hair and torn pants (only 45 bucks! they came with the holes and everything, how convenient!) crying when they get a boo-boo in the mosh pit. Such imagery brings a smile to my face.

PeeDee
10-06-2006, 05:32 AM
Ha! I can see a bunch of little kids with spiky hair and torn pants (only 45 bucks! they came with the holes and everything, how convenient!) crying when they get a boo-boo in the mosh pit. Such imagery brings a smile to my face.

Sounds like a popular-mainstream-punk mosh pit, these days.

I would happily bring those kids with me to the next Cannible Corpse concert... :)

TsukiRyoko
10-06-2006, 05:48 AM
I would just as gladly take them into an abandoned alley and reenact a Cannible Corpse concert.... ;)

PeeDee
10-06-2006, 05:50 AM
I would just as gladly take them into an abandoned alley and reenact a Cannible Corpse concert.... ;)
:eek:

TsukiRyoko
10-06-2006, 05:53 AM
:Shrug:

PeeDee
10-06-2006, 05:54 AM
Girlfriend, you one whack sixteen year old!

TsukiRyoko
10-06-2006, 05:57 AM
I get that a lot :D.

I have osme theories as to what might have caused my corruption, but they're only theories.

Soccer Mom
10-06-2006, 06:08 AM
Sorry about my kid, Dama. Sometimes he gets away from me.

I guess he's a leg man.

TsukiRyoko
10-06-2006, 06:10 AM
Have you been letting him spend time with the drunk neighbor again?

newmod
10-06-2006, 06:12 AM
I guess he's a leg man.

What was the name of that Dave Matthews Band song? Oh yeah, The Space Between. I have absolutely no idea why that came into my head :D

Soccer Mom
10-06-2006, 06:14 AM
Bwahahaha! My eight year old finds a pretty girl to chat up wherever he goes. Seriously. He's a little horndog in training, just like his dad.

TsukiRyoko
10-06-2006, 06:15 AM
I hate it when little kids get more flirting in then I do. It's so degrading. :(

Soccer Mom
10-06-2006, 06:17 AM
Then you can get old like me. No one chats me up any more. Even the dirty old men. The only ones who flirt with me are my gay friends and they only do it to make me feel pretty.

newmod
10-06-2006, 06:22 AM
The only ones who flirt with me are my gay friends and they only do it to make me feel pretty.

What´s a good lookin´ gal like you doin´ in a place like this? ;)

TsukiRyoko
10-06-2006, 06:22 AM
Ha, my story's not much better. Well, no, the dirty old homeless guy, King Aurthur, seems to have taken a liking in me. Haven't run this much every day since elementary school!

writerterri
10-06-2006, 07:25 AM
Dang, Dama!

My daughter is 6 and she started with the boys when she was 5. I can't get her to stop kissing the boys just because they ask her to.

I guess she takes after me.

Maryn
10-06-2006, 04:38 PM
Stranger-Danger, the number one rock band in America, composed entirely of 6 year old perverts.... Hmmm....Is this them?

http://img461.imageshack.us/img461/8177/kisstributeminikiss6qm.jpg

Maryn, who would not be even slightly surprised to learn there's already a band named Stranger Danger

NeuroFizz
10-06-2006, 04:48 PM
Dama. Run. Robeiae has been tinkering with his way-back machine again.

alleycat
10-06-2006, 05:36 PM
Then you can get old like me. No one chats me up any more. Even the dirty old men.
We'll send TeddyG right over . . .

Aubrey
10-06-2006, 11:01 PM
I'm incredibly thick, but I don't tend to have people flirt with me either, as far as I know. They'll just look at me a lot, in the eyes if they're really trying. I can't blame them, I generally flirt the same way since I'm too nervous to say anything and always worry I'm annoying the other person.

BardSkye
10-07-2006, 01:42 AM
Where the frak was this kid's mom????

I swear.... not to get into a rant over inattentive parents, but...okay, I can't help it.

Sometimes I want to build a pen in the middle of my store for unattended children.

An independent store in town here has a sign in their kids' section that reads: Unattended children will be given a cup of expresso and a free puppy.

Soccer Mom
10-07-2006, 01:53 AM
We'll send TeddyG right over . . .

Well, okay. I have been chatted up by that one already. LOL.

And I love the expresso and puppy sign. My vet has one sitting next to his coffee pot in the waiting room. It's not so much a cute sign as an actual threat. :D

Godfather
10-07-2006, 02:39 AM
big leg, tight skirt





a lil mexican john lee hooker.......


....who digs womens deoderant.

CurtisCandy
10-07-2006, 04:57 AM
For the information of anyone interested:

If you do the same inquisitive things as the 5-year-old that Dama described, but you're a big, bald, freaky-looking 45-year old, the authorities get involved.





...Just thought you might like to know... :o