The They-Can-Kill-You-But-They-Can't-Eat-You thread

What was your worst rejection?

I can't decide whether mine was the one that ended in a personal tirade about my mental and moral stability (from an editor I'd never met), or the one where the editor of a littler-than-little-magazine bought one of my black and white illustrations, published it on the back cover of an issue, and then wrote me that he regretted buying and publishing it because it looked so crappy.

How about you?

Hmmm..a couple I'll mention...

"No thanks" written on my cover letter and sent back to me, nine years later (it was a short form, not a novel but he did pay to bring my sase to current postage rates though).

or

"Sorry, our poetry editor didn't have time to review submissions this quarter so unfortunately, we must reject all submissions and will not have a poetry section in our next issue."

or

in response to a query "We only contact contributors whose work meets our high expectations and will be published." So if you're rejected you'll just have to figure that out as time passes and you wait to see if you can submit elsewhere without violating the simultaneous subs policy.

and then wrote me that he regretted buying and publishing it because it looked so crappy.

Click to expand...

Can't beat that though, that's dispicable.

Fortunately the worst was the "Not for me" scribbled on my query letter.

> Re: The They-Can-Kill-You-But-They-Can't-Eat-You thread

This from a pub I had already published in:

Dear Rich,

I'm sorry to have to return "The Long Walk." Five of us read it and no one understood it. I wish I could be more enlightening than that, but that's how it went.

Sincerely

Re: > Re: The They-Can-Kill-You-But-They-Can't-Eat-You th

Wow. More! Tell me more! The nastier the better (though I don't consider most of what I've read to be very nasty).

I just remembered a newspaper. The editor personally invited me to send a short story. I heard nothing, except that there had been a regime change, so I e-mailed a total of TWO inquiries. Very businesslike, just, "Do you still have my story under consideration? Thanks for taking the time to respond."

With the third inquiry (we're talking months passing, too) I got such an expletives-included tirade back from the editor ("How dare you mess up my inbox with THREE WHOLE MESSAGES, you expletive-deleted expletive from expletive-deleted expletive!") that I e-mailed his response to every writer/writer's org I know to pass along the word that this was a nut job.

But you know? Three really bad rejects out of perhaps hundreds is a good percentage to have.

Not nasty, but...

Today there arrived a form rejection letter from Larsen-Pomada. It takes up one whole side of a sheet and contains much wisdom, e.g., "rejecting manuscripts that become successful books is a publishing tradition" [and one they are continuing proudly?] and "every no gets you closer to a yes" [and this may mean I am very close to a yes...]. It is, on the whole, written as though addressed to idiots.

At the end of all this is a list of books about how to get an agent, written by Mr. Larsen. I must confess I dislike agents trying to sell you their own books. [Why in h--- would I buy yours after you rejected mine, buddy?]

Then, on the back of this form letter, is an ad for the 2005 San Francisco Writers Conference [Registration Fee $495.00] This event includes "Speed Dating for Agents": "Pitch your book to a ballroom full of literary agents in one-on-one, three minute consultations."

One might be tempted to attend this literary meat-market just to see if one could get an agent who has sent one a form letter rejection to look at the same book after a conversation. >:

Does a "thanks for the idea; we'll have a staff writer do it" rejection count? The editor didn't say he was rejecting me and when I later followed up on that, he was rude. Ugh.

Still, it's not as bad as the rejection you received. Ouch!

Well, I have that "I don't represent male chick lit -- I want to find the next Stephen King or John Grisham" letter framed.

In the 'what the heck does this mean' category:

"Your stylistic choices have departed too strongly from current expectations of this genre."

Woot! That's a good one.

I think it means you're too good for them!

About 4 or 5 years ago I entered a first young adult novel contest which was conducted by a fairly well-known publishing house.

The winner of the contest was supposed to get his/her novel published by this book publisher. You were supposed to send a return envelope with postage on it if you wanted your manuscript back. Or, you could simply send a business-sized envelope with postage if you just wanted the letter which told you the results of the contest. I opted for the latter.

I waited for six months (or however long we were told we had to wait) and received no reply whatsoever. So I had no idea of the results. Of course, I was curious!

But I waited a bit longer, then sent a letter to the editor asking about the contest.

She ended up calling me. She told me I should have gotten my self-addressed envelope in the mail months ago telling me the results. But of course, I didn't.

Now here's the good part. She said, "We did not end up picking a winner because NONE OF THE NOVELS WERE GOOD ENOUGH TO PUBLISH."

Ahhhhhh!!!!! That was the worst possible thing she could have said to an aspiring author. My jaw dropped a mile. She then said she had to get off the phone because she had an important call coming in. (No time to talk to little peons like me.)

I didn't say it, but I felt like saying, "Oh yeah. You'd better stop talking to me. It might be Stephen King calling."

Ouch. That really must have hurt.

The important thing, though, is that you picked yourself up and kept writing and submitting again. You know, it's frustrating to deal with such people! And there are such people.

Yikes!

My favorite was the personal note from the editor: "This didn't work for me." Well, it was a personal note, but still, ouch!

At least you guys are getting personalized replies. All I get are the standard boilerplate form rejections. I've had exactly one request-for-partial, and even that was returned with a standard boilerplate form rejection.

The "kill you and feed your idea to a staff writer&quot

Is there any defense against that?

-pkpk

Re: The "kill you and feed your idea to a staff writer&

Well, they killed me today, but so far they haven't eaten me.

I wrote a story for an anthology (and the story can't really be shopped elsewhere).

Got a "no" on that today.

Re: The "kill you and feed your idea to a staff writer&

Pk: That has happened to me. Grr!

And, Sailor, I am very sorry to hear about that. Maybe you'll figure out a way to give it a facelift and sell it later. I hope so.

Re: The "kill you and feed your idea to a staff writer&

Sorry,. Sailor. That sucks.

Re: The "kill you and feed your idea to a staff writer&

This wasn't really a rejection. A rejection implies that someone told me my mss wasn't wanted. Here's the play, agent not required. Sent mss in - waited a year and a half (UPS said it was delivered). Since the postage rate increased I wrote to ask if they wanted more postage. No answer. Checked, yes, they had the same address. Six months later I wrote to tell them I was moving and offer more postage. No answer. Called, got answering machine told them I was moving and asked if they wanted more postage. Despite assurances that someone would return call no one did. Called again, nothing. Wrote again. Nothing. Waited until the post office would no longer forward and wrote to withdraw the mss. NEVER heard from the publisher at all.

Stlight

PS That publisher was in the Writer's Market.

Re: The "kill you and feed your idea to a staff writer&

I don't mind the rejections, they're just part of the game - I just wish the buggers would stop stealing my paperclips!


aq

Re: The "kill you and feed your idea to a staff writer&

Wow, I'm feeling blessed that I've never gotten anything worse than ordinary "Sorry, not for us" rejections. And I thought those were bad!

The worst one I've ever received said, "Thanks, but no."

Re: The "kill you and feed your idea to a staff writer&

How about "Not interested," scribbled on the original query letter. Talk about rude.