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oswann
09-28-2006, 08:29 AM
A grade one teacher collected well known proverbs. She gave each child in
her class the first half of a proverb and asked them to come up with
the remainder of the proverb. It's hard to believe these were actually
done by grade one kids ("6" year-olds), because the last one is classic!
_____

Strike while the - insect is close.

_____

Never underestimate the power of - ants.

_____

Don't bite the hand that - looks dirty.

_____

Better to be safe than - punch a grade 7 boy.

_____

If you lie down with dogs, you'll - stink in the morning.

_____

It's always darkest before - Daylight Saving Time.

_____

You can lead a horse to water but - how?

_____

No news is - impossible.

_____

A miss is as good as a - Mr.

_____

You can't teach an old dog new - maths.

_____

Love all, trust - me.

_____

The pen is mightier than the - pigs.

_____

An idle mind is - the best way to relax.

_____

Where there's smoke there's - pollution.

_____

Happy the bride who gets - all the presents.

_____

A penny saved is - not much.

_____

Two's company, three's - the Musketeers.

_____

Don't put off till tomorrow what - you put on to go to bed.

_____

Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and you - have to blow your nose.

_____
There are none so blind as - Stevie Wonder.

_____

Children should be seen and not - smacked or grounded.

_____

If at first you don't succeed - get new batteries.

_____

You get out of something only what you - see in the picture on the box.

_____

When the blind leadeth the blind - get out of the way.

_____

And the favourite:

Better late than -pregnant!






Os.

expatbrat
09-28-2006, 08:54 AM
Too cute. I'm working with kids right now and they do say the funniest things.

WerenCole
09-28-2006, 09:05 AM
I happen to strongly agree with that last one. . .

JennaGlatzer
09-28-2006, 09:42 AM
I very nearly started a "kids say the darnedest things" thread the other day, but the thing I wanted to post wasn't exactly from a kid-- it was from my brother.

We went to a wedding last weekend. Actually, he was the best man. After the ceremony, we were all standing around outside the church waiting for everyone to get through the receiving line, so we started snapping pictures of each other.

I'm still not really "showing" unless I pull my clothes tight around my belly. My mom wanted a shot where you could see I was pregnant, so I said to my brother, "Put your hand on my belly."

"Not in front of the church!" he said.

I laughed and tried to reason with him that there was nothing sinful going on here, but he wasn't hearing of it. So I just pulled my dress a bit tighter so you could see the bump, and he actually walked away from me in despair, that I would do such a thing "in front of God!"

:D

poetinahat
09-28-2006, 09:46 AM
Who are you, and what have you done with Os?

samgail
09-28-2006, 09:50 AM
Where there's smoke there's - pollution.

The most recent get-together was to celebrate the life of a family member taken before his time. A LOT of grownups were smoking cigarettes and drinking whisky. All the kids made it abundantly clear that smoking was indeed
pollution. They even took to marching around chanting "No smoking allowed, make it il-legal". Hey, kids know stuff. We should listen to them more.
Sam

My-Immortal
09-28-2006, 09:57 AM
Hey, kids know stuff. We should listen to them more.
Sam

My little guy (a few months shy of 3 years old) told my wife the other day when she got home from work that she was pretty...then he turned to me and said I was old...

:)

Gotta love 'em.

dclary
09-28-2006, 10:12 AM
I very nearly started a "kids say the darnedest things" thread the other day, but the thing I wanted to post wasn't exactly from a kid-- it was from my brother.

We went to a wedding last weekend. Actually, he was the best man. After the ceremony, we were all standing around outside the church waiting for everyone to get through the receiving line, so we started snapping pictures of each other.

I'm still not really "showing" unless I pull my clothes tight around my belly. My mom wanted a shot where you could see I was pregnant, so I said to my brother, "Put your hand on my belly."

"Not in front of the church!" he said.

I laughed and tried to reason with him that there was nothing sinful going on here, but he wasn't hearing of it. So I just pulled my dress a bit tighter so you could see the bump, and he actually walked away from me in despair, that I would do such a thing "in front of God!"

:D

LOL...

Tonight in church the pastor asked "Who wants to guess what I'm preaching from?"

And I shouted out "The Bible!"

Apparently he'd expected a more specific answer.

:/

Mandy-Jane
09-28-2006, 10:21 AM
When my daughter was 3 she said "Daddy's good at cooking. You're good at doing dishes." (It's actually true)

expatbrat
09-28-2006, 10:26 AM
I think I’ve told this story on another thread, and every single person who has been in contact with me in the last month has had to hear it repeated, but I love this…

A month ago one 5yr old boy was freaking out at the pool because there was a jumping spider on his clothes. I offered to kill the spider to hurry him up (but we couldn’t find it).

Pulling on his undies he looked up at me and said “you know, some people, they eat spiders,” which I had to nod and say “yes that is true.” They eat all sorts of bugs here, lightly coated in a spray of soy sauce.

Another boy joined in adding “and some people eat rats,” which is also true. BBQ rat is a common food in Issan (north east Thailand).

The Indian girl screwed up her face, and in a voice convinced that her example would be by far the worst added “and some people eat COWS!” Holding back a smile, and maintaining the exact same tone as I had with the other two examples, I agreed “yes, that’s true.”

The Spider boy answered “cows are beef, I love beef.”

Rat boys arms were flapping up and down, “cows are steak,” he screamed with excitement, “I loooooooove steak!”

SC Harrison
09-28-2006, 04:41 PM
_____

Children should be seen and not - smacked or grounded.



That's classic!

E_B
09-28-2006, 04:46 PM
Those are all great!! Thanks for sharing them.

Soccer Mom
09-28-2006, 05:28 PM
Those are too funny. Just last week, my son came into the theater room at my parents (Don't ask. My father built his own theater complete with raised seating and popcorn machine.) He leaned over and presented his forehead for me to touch. "Mommy, do I feel sleepy to you?"

Of course I laid my hand on his forehead and told him that he did indeed feel sleepy and need a nap. :D

Christine N.
09-28-2006, 06:36 PM
Let me lead into this one. I had an unusual wedding. We had a Renaissance/Medieval theme. Yes, I wore a blue brocade gown with ivory satin underneath. I had a gold veil with fake jewels, and a gold crown. Hubby was also suitably dressed.

So, we have our wedding pic on the wall. Fast forward to a few years down the road, and my son jumps on my lap and kisses me.

"When you were a princess..."
"Honey, why do you think Mommy was a princess?"
He points to the picture.
"Oh, I see. That was when Mommy and Daddy got married."
"So now you're a Queen?"

Yep, that's right, and don't you forget it!

CaroGirl
09-28-2006, 06:40 PM
The other day my daughter, who's 6, was in the back of the car trying to remember something. She said, "Oohhh, I wish I had a bookmark in my brain!"

Me too.

writerterri
09-28-2006, 07:56 PM
Those were cute.

Yesterday my daughter (6) was tugging at her panties and I asked her what the problem was and she said,

"They're getting in my nuts." :Shrug:


I laughed very hard while trying to explain to her that she doesn't have those and to please not use that word. Our word for those are cocos.

September skies
09-28-2006, 08:25 PM
Os -- I love those! Thank you for sharing and making me laugh.

Christine N.
09-28-2006, 08:30 PM
My boy is ALWAYS grabbing at his, you know. I always ask him what's wrong.
"My winkie's messed up."

Apparently it's messed up quite a lot. He's always adjusting. But one day I asked him what was wrong and got....

"I got a baby chubby, Mommy. It hurts."

Yes, I tried not to fall on the floor. Didn't work

writerterri
09-28-2006, 09:44 PM
Baby chubby had to come from another male in the house who could relate, no doubt.

That was funny!

Jack_Roberts
09-28-2006, 09:59 PM
Yesterday I was feeling sick. I was taking a short nap in the car while my three girls and one boy were talking and playing. We were waiting for my wife to come out of the store.

I was woken up by my boy (6 yrs old) who grabbed my mouth and started to move it, all the while saying "My name is Daddy! I like ponies, butterflies and pretty things!"

We all busted up.

Christine N.
09-29-2006, 12:00 AM
Baby chubby had to come from another male in the house who could relate, no doubt.

That was funny!

The only other male in my house is my husband. So, there ya go.

TsukiRyoko
09-29-2006, 12:05 AM
Better than the time I yelled "From your mouth, reverend!" when I was asked the same question.

Christine N.
09-29-2006, 08:32 PM
Bumping because this happened about a half hour ago.

Watching the news. We had some wild weather last night, but down in the DC area, they had it worse.

News guy: "Last night, a tornado swept through..."
My son: "A tomato?"

I was on the floor laughing, picturing a giant tomato smashing houses and ripping up trees.

Mom'sWrite
09-29-2006, 09:17 PM
Some zingers from screenmom's little anecdoters...

Son: I'm glad I'm not a girl.
Mom: Why's that?
Son: They have to do all the work and still look pretty.

Daughter: Conor's being mean to us! We need a new boy.

Daughter: My mom's a great driver. She always stops the car when I tell her to. (The child has been back-seat driving since she could form the words 'stop' and 'go'.)

Son: I have a girlfriend at school.
Mom: Really, how long has this been going on?
Son: Couple of months.
Mom: What's her name?
Son: I forgot.

5 year old daughter: Look Mom, I'm growing breasts!
Mom: What?!
5 year old daughter: April fools!
Mom: It's August!
5 year old daughter: August fools!