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View Full Version : Dallas Cowboy Terrell Owens Attempted Suicide



louisgodwin
09-27-2006, 07:05 PM
Breaking news here in Dallas. Apparently he tried to overdose on pills last night.

SpookyWriter
09-27-2006, 07:08 PM
Breaking news here in Dallas. Apparently he tried to overdose on pills last night.That was his first mistake. He should have tried my ex-wife's cooking. That would have killed him in a heartbeat.

PeeDee
09-27-2006, 07:11 PM
That was his first mistake. He should have tried my ex-wife's cooking. That would have killed him in a heartbeat.

I see you have a whole new avenue of jokes available to you now. :)

DeborahM
09-27-2006, 07:18 PM
Poor man...he'd just been paid 10 million to play football! That would depress the hell out of me too.

Of couse they haven't released what the depression was about or why he took 5 more pills in front of the police (just in police press confrence). And the police are in the process of counting how many are gone out of 40 from the prescription.

Could he be depressed about performing?

PeeDee
09-27-2006, 07:19 PM
Wasn't it the Dallas Cowboys who did that embarassing rap song before the Super Bowl, all those many years ago?

That would depress ME...

louisgodwin
09-27-2006, 07:21 PM
He broke one of his fingers. The prescription pills were for pain. Yeah, the more I'm hearing about this, the more it seems this was a ploy for attention and sympathy.

PeeDee
09-27-2006, 07:22 PM
The big man just needs a hug.

I nominate Spooky.

louisgodwin
09-27-2006, 07:25 PM
Wasn't it the Dallas Cowboys who did that embarassing rap song before the Super Bowl, all those many years ago?



I believe your referring to the "Super Bowl Shuffle" back in the 1980's. That was the Green Bay Packers... I think.

PeeDee
09-27-2006, 07:27 PM
I believe your referring to the "Super Bowl Shuffle" back in the 1980's. That was the Green Bay Packers... I think.

It's hard to remember. I repressed those memories so well.

It was apparently, however, the Chicago Bears. (http://youtube.com/watch?v=k-V-qEO7OlY)

aadams73
09-27-2006, 07:28 PM
The uncompassionate and mean side of me wants to ask: what went wrong?

PeeDee
09-27-2006, 07:32 PM
The tasteless side of me says that he fumbled the remaining pills.

SpookyWriter
09-27-2006, 07:35 PM
The big man just needs a hug.

I nominate Spooky.I ain't in Dallas no mo! So I will have to pass this honor to soccer_mom.

PeeDee
09-27-2006, 07:41 PM
If she can find a way to repay you for this, I'm sure she will.

Go, soccer_mom!

Carrie in PA
09-27-2006, 07:48 PM
Of couse they haven't released what the depression was about

Sorry to be serious for a moment, but real depression isn't about anything. Just like getting cancer isn't about anything.

Now back to the tasteless jokes. :D

PeeDee
09-27-2006, 07:54 PM
Now back to the tasteless jokes. :D

Whew. I thought we were getting all serious here...

Maybe he can write a book about this.

E_B
09-27-2006, 07:56 PM
The rap song was from the Bears in 1984.

SpookyWriter
09-27-2006, 07:58 PM
Whew. I thought we were getting all serious here...

Maybe he can write a book about this.I think someone needs to confess about providing the pain pills and helping to support his suicide attempts. Now that person will make some serious money on the book deals and movie.

Okay, who's responsible?

PeeDee
09-27-2006, 07:58 PM
That's true. (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showpost.php?p=826012&postcount=9)

PeeDee
09-27-2006, 07:59 PM
I think someone needs to confess about providing the pain pills and helping to support his suicide attempts. Now that person will make some serious money on the book deals and movie.

Okay, who's responsible?

Oooh! Ooooooh! Me!

zarch
09-27-2006, 08:00 PM
Puh-lease. Terrell Owens freakin' researched this, I bet. He looked on the Internet and found out exactly how many Vicodin would put him in the hospital but not kill him. Say, the number is 25. He flushed ten pills down the toilet and swallowed 25.

Dude thrives on this kind of attention. If he can't garner the attention on the field, he does this crap. Right now he's hurt, so he can't get attention making catches.

He's certifiably certifiable...but depressed? I doubt it.

SpookyWriter
09-27-2006, 08:00 PM
Oooh! Ooooooh! Me!Yeah, and I can be the guy who turns you in. I'm rich! Drinks are on me.

PeeDee
09-27-2006, 08:02 PM
Yeah, and I can be the guy who turns you in. I'm rich! Drinks are on me.

We need to abuse a woman or something so we can get a Lifetime about this made pronto.

Christine N.
09-27-2006, 08:03 PM
The doctor. They were prescribed to him for pain for a little broken finger.

Big. Baby.

I've been around depression, bi-polar disorder, and yes, even someone who did eventually do the deed. I've seen people at their worst.

If he was depressed, he has the means to seek help. After watching him on the news, etc.. for some time, and hearing this report, it's possible he does suffer from bi-polar disorder. I mean, the guy is pretty manic for much of his TV time.

IANAD, of course, so this is mere speculation. I'm sorry I'm calling him a big baby, but... he irritates me to no end. If he really is sick, then I hope he gets help.

NeuroFizz
09-27-2006, 08:04 PM
My impression is that attention hounds, who only suffer from perceived depression, eventually seek sympathy when faced with an interruption in their regular attention-gaining activities. If he is really expriencing depression, my words will change.

I suspect Paris Hilton has this very act penned in her long-term action plan, for when she starts to age and/or when she starts showing the effects of excesses. Entry: Take just enough pills so the press can call it a suicide attempt.

Again, if TO is really that messed up (emotionally), I hope the Cowboys line him up with proper counseling and help.

SpookyWriter
09-27-2006, 08:05 PM
We need to abuse a woman or something so we can get a Lifetime about this made pronto.Or a man who is abused by his ex-wife, chased and taunted, chastised by the courts, haunted by the evil she is capable of while trying to take care of the kids and his aging mom.

Nah, too unrealistic. Let's stick with the NFL suckers...

PeeDee
09-27-2006, 08:07 PM
Maybe I should be Deeply Depressed. That's a good career move for writers, isn't it?

SpookyWriter
09-27-2006, 08:08 PM
Maybe I should be Deeply Depressed. That's a good career move for writers, isn't it?Don't go too deep or you'll never get noticed by the big publishing houses. Do the Jonny Depp act and you'll be fine.

PeeDee
09-27-2006, 08:10 PM
Don't go too deep or you'll never get noticed by the big publishing houses. Do the Jonny Depp act and you'll be fine.

Johnny Depp doesn't seem deeply depressed to me...

But yes, I can just act like Johnny Depp. That's fine. :D

E_B
09-27-2006, 08:10 PM
I wouldn't believe it just yet, you know the media.

PeeDee
09-27-2006, 08:11 PM
Like that stops us from running our mouths... :)

robeiae
09-27-2006, 08:14 PM
Initial report (http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/0927061owens1.html).

SpookyWriter
09-27-2006, 08:17 PM
Johnny Depp doesn't seem deeply depressed to me...

But yes, I can just act like Johnny Depp. That's fine. :D....and that's the magic of the act.

DeborahM
09-27-2006, 08:18 PM
Johnny Depp doesn't seem deeply depressed to me...

But yes, I can just act like Johnny Depp. That's fine. :D

He might have been referencing Johnny Depp in The Secret Window about a depressed/psychotic mystery writer.

PeeDee
09-27-2006, 08:20 PM
He might have been referencing Johnny Depp in The Secret Window about a depressed/psychotic mystery writer.

I can happily do that. I adore that movie beyond belief.

Does this mean I have a John Shooter stalking me?

WerenCole
09-27-2006, 08:22 PM
Oh well. Hope the dude doesn't actually kill himself eventually. Hope Dallas loses lots of games. Hope that this doesn't dominate sports talk radio for the next five days taking attention away from the baseball playoffs.


Otherwise, I will try not to pay attention.

NeuroFizz
09-27-2006, 08:24 PM
Hey, I'm a Raiders fan. And I haven't gulped any pills.

DeborahM
09-27-2006, 08:26 PM
I can happily do that. I adore that movie beyond belief.

Does this mean I have a John Shooter stalking me?

Yes and look within!

PeeDee
09-27-2006, 08:26 PM
Hey, I'm a Raiders fan. And I haven't gulped any pills.

Beings a Raiders fan, I'd think you'd want to.

ZING! :D

(zing from some guy who doesn't pay any attention to sports......)

PeeDee
09-27-2006, 08:27 PM
Yes and look within!

Don't spoil the movie for anyone who hasn't seen it yet. That's why I wasn't mentioning details!

DeborahM
09-27-2006, 08:28 PM
Don't spoil the movie for anyone who hasn't seen it yet. That's why I wasn't mentioning details!

Opps! That is a great movie!

When did you guess the ending?

E_B
09-27-2006, 08:30 PM
Hey, I'm a Raiders fan. And I haven't gulped any pills.

You're the guy!

PeeDee
09-27-2006, 08:31 PM
When the story was cut out of Ellery Queen's Mystery Magazine, and he started thinking out loud. I sat up and went "ohhh. Ohhh!" and then was giddy for the next hour.

Get the DVD. The special feature where David Koepp sits and explains every hint he offers is stunning. It's little things I would never have caught, but adore now that I know to look for 'em. I've watched that movie dozens of times.

davids
09-27-2006, 08:33 PM
I say trade him to Oakland

SpookyWriter
09-27-2006, 08:35 PM
I say trade him to OaklandI say he needs more sensitivity training, so let him become a Dallas Cheerleader. He'd look more caring with those shorts riding up his arse.

PeeDee
09-27-2006, 08:45 PM
You're a bad, bad man, Spooky.

NeuroFizz
09-27-2006, 09:03 PM
I say trade him to Oakland
He and Randy Moss would make good "hey, what about me" bookends.

DeniseK
09-27-2006, 09:09 PM
Good God you people are viscious.

eldragon
09-27-2006, 09:09 PM
I'd be quite embaressed to have my name and picture on the front page of Yahoo.com - "FAILED SUICIDE ATTEMPT."


Slow news day.

PeeDee
09-27-2006, 09:10 PM
Not always! We are sometimes nice and useful individuals for whole days at a time. Honest!

NeuroFizz
09-27-2006, 09:14 PM
Good God you people are viscious.I thought being a Raiders fan made me as cuddly as an eyes-just-open kitten.

PeeDee
09-27-2006, 09:17 PM
I thought being a Raiders fan made me as cuddly as an eyes-just-open kitten.

The Raiders players are just that cuddly. Not the fans. Sorry. :)

Soccer Mom
09-27-2006, 09:36 PM
Sheesh. I go away for one morning and look what mischeif you people get up to. Tell Spooky that the Cowboys will be fine without TO. IT was a weird press conference with Dallas PD. Basically they just said "We don't know where you got this info, but this is a medical matter and not a criminal investigation." Which is pretty much of a "No Comment."

TO's publicist says it's all a misunderstanding. The oddest part is that he practiced yesterday and was catching balls and laughing and joking.

Um, yeah. Cuddly Raiders fans. Sure. In Bizzaro World maybe.

dclary
09-27-2006, 09:59 PM
Man, if we had a sports forum we could discuss this there!

Carrie in PA
09-27-2006, 10:36 PM
Johnny Depp doesn't seem deeply depressed to me...

But yes, I can just act like Johnny Depp. That's fine. :D

Yeah but can you look that freaking hot slathered in eyeliner and freaky braid/dreds?????

badducky
09-27-2006, 11:00 PM
As a Dallas Area Resident for many years, I can honestly tell you that the DPD are not the most reliable source for this kind of stuff.

In fact, choosing between a publicist or a DPD officer for my information makes me stop and think. Hm... Which one is more reliable?

If it was the Arlington Police Department, I'd believe them. Fort Worth, I'd believe over a publicist every time. But Dallas?

Hm. I don't know which one to believe.

DeborahM
09-27-2006, 11:04 PM
As a Dallas Area Resident for many years, I can honestly tell you that the DPD are not the most reliable source for this kind of stuff.

In fact, choosing between a publicist or a DPD officer for my information makes me stop and think. Hm... Which one is more reliable?

If it was the Arlington Police Department, I'd believe them. Fort Worth, I'd believe over a publicist every time. But Dallas?

Hm. I don't know which one to believe.

As a former resident of Dallas and now living in Fort Worth, I whole heartedly agree! You summed it up very well, too.

Christine N.
09-27-2006, 11:06 PM
Yeah, Dallas,

It was the guy on the grassy knoll, wasn't it?

Soccer Mom
09-27-2006, 11:09 PM
LOL at Deb and Badducky! That was exactly what hubby and I said this morning. Oh yeah, DPD would never get anything wrong! And now they won't answer any questions and don't know where anyone got that report from. Good grief.

I'm withholding judgment on this one.

louisgodwin
09-27-2006, 11:14 PM
Yeah, Dallas,

It was the guy on the grassy knoll, wasn't it?

Yes, the CIA placed a second pharmacist there to finish the job.

DeborahM
09-27-2006, 11:18 PM
Yes, the CIA placed a second pharmacist there to finish the job.

:hooray:

Soccer Mom
09-27-2006, 11:23 PM
The latest report:

http://msn.foxsports.com/nfl/story/6006094?FSO1&ATT=HCP&GT1=8595

dclary
09-27-2006, 11:45 PM
I just heard TO's press conference. He's spun it very well. Mudo Ado about To.

NeuroFizz
09-27-2006, 11:50 PM
The latest report:

http://msn.foxsports.com/nfl/story/6006094?FSO1&ATT=HCP&GT1=8595
Ms. Paris Hilton...are you paying attention? Lagging publicity, now you know what to do, and how to spin it. Oh, never mind. Sorry. Just tell your personal assistant to pay attention.

Soccer Mom
09-28-2006, 06:34 AM
LOL. He actually made practice and looked pretty good for someone who was supposed to have taken a whopping dose of painkillers.

The story is...it's not really a story.

If you lived with the nutty media around here, the way this got blown up would make more sense.

Jean Marie
09-28-2006, 06:42 AM
TO's bummed 'cause he lost his Sharpie.