View Full Version : Quick grammar check for sco-fi story

09-26-2006, 02:48 AM
The story is in the present tense.

Pieces, soap, rinse. Boom! Hiss. She takes the brown pill, lies down. Sleep comes much faster then usual. The next morning she doesn’t remember what had bothered her yesterday.

Should it be "bothered" or 'had bothered?" I thought the former, but it doesn't sound right.

09-26-2006, 04:49 AM
bothered sounds okay in context.

Oh, try: Sleep comes much faster than usual.

09-26-2006, 05:03 AM
"Bothered" since the story is in present tense.

09-26-2006, 06:50 AM
Bothered. But get rid of 'had'.

09-26-2006, 07:16 AM
I would say "had bothered" because you're talking about yesterday.

Soccer Mom
09-27-2006, 04:40 AM
I think the 'had' is extraneous. Bothered is past tense anyway.

09-27-2006, 06:26 AM
Bothered is past tense anyway.

Good point. I didn't think of that.

09-27-2006, 08:13 PM
What's a "sco-fi" story? A google shows it has something to do with "sci-fi" and possibly Star Trek.

ETA: This is what I get for drinking Dr. Pepper for breakfast. I am a complete doofus sometimes.