PDA

View Full Version : List of things I say



Lavinia
09-24-2006, 07:54 AM
In a piece I am working on, I am talking about my little boy when I say;

He heard his name dozens of times a day; Timmy don't...Timmy you always...Timmy stop...

I do not know how to punctuate this. Do I use quotations? All of the references to what I say (ie Timmy don't..." are phrases in which there is an ending but I don't want/need to say what that ending is. The point is that my little boy heard all these negatives all the time. Can anyone help me?

Lavinia

Mandy-Jane
09-24-2006, 08:22 AM
I don't understand what you mean by "The point is that my little boy heard all these negatives all the time." I think you just mean that the character was constantly hearing all these various negatives statements aimed at him, and what they specifically were, is beside the point.

If so, I would do it like this:

"Timmy, don't ....". "Timmy, you always ....". Timmy, stop ....".

To me, that shows that someone is speaking to him and that there were more words spoken before the end of the sentence (whatever they were). If it's the same person saying them, I would have them all on one line, as in my example above. If it were lots of different people, I would begin a new paragraph with each one.

I'm personally more of a scriptwriter and so paragraphing and quotation marks aren't really an issue for me. Anyway, that is what I would do.

Lavinia
09-26-2006, 06:16 AM
Yes. You did get my point. The things that were said, were said by a few different people.

But if I write,

He heard his name dozens of times a day; "Timmy don't..." "Timmy you always..."

then I have quotations back to back, which doesn't work. So that leaves,

He heard his name dozens of times a day; "Timmy don't... Timmy you always..."

and so forth, but that doesn't seem right to me either.

I don't know. Maybe I'll just have to change the wording. I'm confusing myself (which isn't too hard to do).

Thanks for trying though.

Lavinia

Mandy-Jane
09-26-2006, 06:43 AM
I think I've got it! If these comments are being made by different people, I would start a new paragraph for each one. Just like you do when a new person speaks. Eg.,

"Timmy, don't...."

"Timmy, you always..."

"Timmy, stop..."

It looks good and it's clear that different people are speaking. Anyway, I hope this helps.

Lavinia
09-29-2006, 01:04 AM
Thanks!