Desert Queens and all things sexual in the Desert
So, it's important to note that before I begin this thread on Desert Queens, there are Desert Kings. However, there's just no such term. And given the way our patriarchal society works, well, women just get low-balled (so to speak) anyway with the derogatory terms. In any case, my disclaimer is this: what I'm about to describe is a 'Ho. Period. It could be a man or a woman, but, in most cases -- at least in the desert -- a desert queen is just that.
Disclaimer ended. On to our program ...
As you may know, American military people deploy for different lengths of time. Some for as little as 60 days, some for as long as a year or more. In between, there are different stints. Mine is 120 days (really, with travel, about 131 days). In any case, in the Air Force, it's called a TDY. That's short for "temporary duty assignment" (you can work the abbreviation math out on your own).
Now, when some people get to wherever they are deployed, they return to old, fast habits: smoking, drinking, and, of course, womanizing (or man-a-nizing, if you will). On the smoking thing, it's baffling to see so many people lighting up here, and the variety of tobaccos is also strange (we get Cuban cigars here if that's your thing; I do not smoke). Drinking here is controlled, as mentioned in my previous post. It's two drinks a night. The only thing I'd say to this is that people gameplan what they will drink and figure out how much it will get them drunk. The most potent drink is a Shiraz wine (go Australia!) and it's about 15%. You can get two large plastic cups of it (about a half pint) and then, most of the chemists mix that with Sprite -- and it lasts most of the night. Alcohol works the same on people here as it does anywhere else (important to note with the given topic). But I'm off track. Back to the 'Ho'ing.
So, the final part of the equation is the eventual rise (and fall -- heh heh heh) of hormonal levels. There are some people who just simply have to get laid wherever they go regardless of circumstance or barriers. To prove it, many of those same people take their wedding rings off on the plane ride over here so the indentation will be gone by the time they start laying their mack out for all to see. That's men. For women, it's a different game.
Women don't need to take off their rings. Don't have to. Men chasing them don't care anyway. "Men are dogs." "Men are Neanderthals." Choose your poison. However, women do is size each other up (as women are prone to do) physically -- hair, face, make-up, voice, walk and, of course, weight. And really, there's not much women can do here to get gussied up. No need, really. So, what they've got to flaunt is natural, off-the-shelf goods. So, that's what the girls are gaming each other on when it comes time to do the one thing that starts the process -- seeking attention.
There are also very few women here. So, middle-of-the-road people become Supermodels. Plus they have a captive audience and know they can make the best of what they get. In other words, 2's become 10's. 1's become 10's. Decimal points become 10's, and so on.
Now, the beginnings of this start on the plane ride over from wherever you're coming from ("Is she cute?", or "Wow, she's hot. Gotta keep an eye on her."). Then people start oogling at a unit level ("Look at how her t-shirt sticks out on top," or "Those BDU pants sure are tight in the bubble area."), but ultimately -- at least here -- the real playpen for all this activity is a place is a small club where the drinking, smoking and socializing gets done.
I'm not a sociologist, but I'll play one on this post. Usually, the number of guys surrounding a women equates to how much those guys are after her. I'd also say that if a woman is surrounded by five or more men for more than three nights, then she's been anointed a Queen (and she's also a whore for attention). Usually, you can count the number of guys around a woman and figure she's probably the hot commodity -- for the moment. All that said, there are a select few women (and men, I suppose) who aggregate more attention because they want men to do that. They are also, well, 'Hos. As they aggregate attention, they are also lining up ways to have sex with them. No relationship. No commitment. Sort of a "Combat One Night Stand." They are in the moment of being somewhere where they believe there are no repercussions. And, bada-boom, things happen. (again, my caveat stands -- men can be 'Hos, too. It's just not as socially overt).
That said, it is VERY difficult for two hormonally hopped up people to have an encounter here and elsewhere in the AOR (which is an abbreviation for "It's ChunkyC's birthday -- I kid, it means 'area of responsibility,' essentially, wherever American forces are in the Middle East). Men cannot go into women's dorm rooms. Vice versa. So, whenever two people commit to doing the horizontal bop, there simply aren't a lot of horizontal places to do it. I'll name a few that have actually been used to be clear:
-- Bunkers. Giant cement shelters filthy with sand, poorly lit and open to the world (no doors). Check.
-- Locked offices. Probably the most useful but 1). One of you has to have access to that office, 2). it has to be empty and 3). you have to hope the cops, who do regular patrols, don't stumble in.
-- Dumpsters. No, I'm not kidding.
-- Any sort of recess, storage closet or hidey-hole you can imagine on the ground, in a building, in a vehicle or elsewhere.
This, dear reader, is the Desert Queen's playground.
Now, to be further qualified as a Desert Queen, she must:
-- Constantly vie for attention from men (or, women, all flavors)
-- Put the wood to two or more guys during a rotation
-- Be recognized by the surrounding deployed community of folk as a Desert Queen (and word gets out fast)
-- Realize the she is a commodity because demand has well overtaken supply
I'd liken it a little to the first few years of college, but dirtier; more primitive -- there's plenty of sex, less booze and so much experimentation.
Now, the majority of men and women aren't Kings and Queens. That's why one or two get the title. There's always one, so she gets crowned "Queen," and so on. So, for the empowered out there, it's important to note there are plenty of women who have been sexually harassed and have reported it. I'll say that again -- they have been sexually harassed (i.e., approached by married men, approached by a man, approached by higher-ranking men; and so on) and reported it. There is, in fact, a fairly decisive means of abating the behavior. And the people doing it know it. Unfortunately, almost all queens and kings would rather live the rush of the moment -- and ultimately get caught.
Here's what will happen if you get caught: First, you'll be dressed down by your commander. I've had it happen for other circumstances. It's unpleasant. For this, I'd guess it's even worse. If you're married, you'll be brought up on adultery charges. There's also the "disobeying a lawful order" charge. Please don't forget all the potential ancillary charges that go with it ("conduct unbecoming" and so on). Then, you lose money -- generally between $150 and $600 a month for at least 3-6 months. That hurts. And, because you so flagrantly violated the Uniform Code of Military Justice (the codified law of the US military since 1950), you'll probably be busted down a rank, or two. Commanders and the judge advocate decide.
Younger military people are usually prone to the behavior. However, a woman who is a medic here was hit on by a 42-year-old, higher ranking man -- on the plane over here. So, you never know.
To wrap this up, the Desert Queen is a woman/man seeking attention, usually from many, to satisfy an insecurity or a need. Usually, will 'Ho around with five or 10 people; sometimes more. Usually will get caught. Usually will do it again and again on multiple deployments and tours overseas.
There are hundreds of other anecdotes, corollaries and sidenotes I could bring up here. However, it's an old saw that still cuts.
Next post: are we at war or not?
v/r, Jason
