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badducky
09-11-2006, 06:59 AM
I've been a vegetarian for ten years. I live with my brother, who is not. He told me earlier today that he was going to be making us pizza.

I came home at 9:30 looking forward to pizza.

I open the fridge, see what appears to be a vegetable pizza. I eat a cold piece of it. Get about halfway through the second piece, before thinking, "What is that weird, unpleasant... flavor I don't recognize?"

Underneath the cheese and vegetables, hiding out with the tomato sauce were thin slices of something dead. I didn't notice them because they had the consistency of cold tomato sauce.

After throwing up (hopefully that got it all), I'm still probably going to be shooting fire out of my intestines until every ounce of dead creature is through my system.

My brother is a jackass. My brother is such a fathead jackass. I'm going to pour soymilk all over his bacon now.

SpookyWriter
09-11-2006, 07:02 AM
http://www.westvegas.com/food/STEAK.JPG

badducky
09-11-2006, 07:11 AM
I've already lost my stomach once this evening, spooky...

He comes home and tries to blame me because he didn't have as much cheese as he thought he had, so he didn't make me a pizza.

Bull. I've stared at the same fridge he has, and I know how much cheese there was. I buy just as much cheese as he does.

He made two pizzas for himself, after telling me he was going to make me one. Then, he goes so far as to turn one into a trap.

I actually bought him pizza last week, too. Good pizza, from a good restaurant.

Jerk.

Guess who's not getting a book dedicated to him, now?

SpookyWriter
09-11-2006, 07:15 AM
I've already lost my stomach once this evening, spooky...

He comes home and tries to blame me because he didn't have as much cheese as he thought he had, so he didn't make me a pizza.

Bull. I've stared at the same fridge he has, and I know how much cheese there was. I buy just as much cheese as he does.

He made two pizzas for himself, after telling me he was going to make me one. Then, he goes so far as to turn one into a trap.

I actually bought him pizza last week, too. Good pizza, from a good restaurant.

Jerk.

Guess who's not getting a book dedicated to him, now?I'd kick his arse. Seriously, that sucks. Brothers can be so insentive. I hope you feel better tomorrow and can "forgive" him?

badducky
09-11-2006, 07:28 AM
Like I said. Soy milk+ Bacon. He's going to open the fridge tomorrow morning, and get a little sabotage.

I'm a 275 pound black belt, and he's a 260 ex-marine. We both work out extensively. If we actually physically fought, we'd do too much damage and we both know it. So, we have to resort to this passiv aggressive stuff.

persiphone_hellecat
09-11-2006, 07:31 AM
Hopefully it wasnt foie gras.

mkcbunny
09-11-2006, 07:34 AM
My husband was vegan for years. It was very, very easy to make him either a separate pizza with soy cheese or a half pizza with soy on his and "real" cheese [and sometimes meat] on mine. But then I give a crap. Maybe some people don't. Really, it's not hard to avoid certain things. If you care about someone, you do so.

StoryG27
09-11-2006, 05:14 PM
I'm a 275 pound black belt, and he's a 260 ex-marine. We both work out extensively. If we actually physically fought, we'd do too much damage and we both know it. So, we have to resort to this passiv aggressive stuff.
Oh this takes me back. You two sound like my two older brothers.


*sniff* I miss them and their petty little games.

Soccer Mom
09-11-2006, 05:20 PM
Oh, that was extremely mean. But isn't that what brothers are for? My boys fight like crazy, but the second another boy starts in on one of them it's a united front.

Unique
09-11-2006, 05:24 PM
badducky - if you want my recipe for a catfood sandwich. Just holla. ;)

eldragon
09-11-2006, 05:31 PM
It's not just mean, it's very insensitive to a major commitment on your part not to eat meat for a decade.


Badducky - I guess you know you can't trust anyone when it comes to your food choices. Even restaurants sneak animal products into "vegetarian" dishes, because they have no idea how serious vegetarians are.

MidnightMuse
09-11-2006, 06:32 PM
Mmmm, soymilk :)

smiley10000
09-11-2006, 06:58 PM
Not to mention it's dangrous! My Hubby knows a vegetarian that was hospitalized after accidently eating meat. You could have been really sick! The body needs special enzymes to digest meat and if you don't eat it, you don't produce them!

I am not amused, this is a sick prank.
:Soapbox: 10000

Jean Marie
09-11-2006, 07:01 PM
Yeah, BD, that was pretty twisted. I like Unique's idea...get the recipe and dress it up to look like a real special something for your bro :D

Kate Thornton
09-11-2006, 08:16 PM
Disgusting and really insensitive. Consider a separate refrigerator for your stuff.

oswann
09-11-2006, 08:22 PM
Now as strange as this seems, considering my appreciation of foie gras, my sister is vegetarian and I would never do something like this to her, nor would I try to make her eat foie gras or anything else she didn't want to eat for that matter. I don't intend to have any influence over what anyone else ingests and expect the same courtesy in return.


Os.

aadams73
09-11-2006, 08:24 PM
He's a rude jackass. My sister is a vegetarian and when she came to stay with us for six weeks we took the utmost care to choose restaurants where a selection of vegetarian dishes were available. We managed just fine cooking at home too, without any need to cook two different meals.

I think you need to make some dog poop brownies to say "thank you."

Jaycinth
09-11-2006, 08:34 PM
Yes, I agree, he is a rude J****ss. I am not a vegetarian, but I have a lot of friends that are, and, well, I don't really like eating meat every day. I have some nice veggie recipies. When I make them, most people don't know the food is vegetarian unless I tell them.

Of course, my best effort was when my (now ex) started complaining about his veggie friends. So I made a big pot of 'tofu chili'. He ate two big bowls before our daughter told him it was tofu and not chicken.

So, since your brother likes to play 'jokes' on you, play them back. Start cooking.(heh heh heh) PM me for recipies.

On the other hand, my son's fiance is not only Jewish, but also a veggie. When she shows up unexpectedly for dinner, and we have something like pepperoni pizza, she just pulls the meat off and feeds it to our cat. (But of course, your brother hid it so you can fa*t at him now.)

CaroGirl
09-11-2006, 08:44 PM
I love to eat dead things, but I can relate on another level. I have many food allergies, far too strange and varied to go into here (it's a "syndrome", ugh). If someone "hid" one of the foods to which I'm allergic in something I ate, I'd feel quite ill and certainly wouldn't appreciate it in the least. It's insensitive and downright rude.

You should retaliate in a mean and meaningful way. He's your brother, after all.

Cabinscribe
09-14-2006, 07:06 AM
I grew up with four brothers.

Let me know if you need assistance with plots for revenge!
;)

billythrilly7th
09-14-2006, 07:17 AM
I've been a vegetarian for ten years. I live with my brother, who is not. He told me earlier today that he was going to be making us pizza.

I came home at 9:30 looking forward to pizza.

I open the fridge, see what appears to be a vegetable pizza. I eat a cold piece of it. Get about halfway through the second piece, before thinking, "What is that weird, unpleasant... flavor I don't recognize?"

Underneath the cheese and vegetables, hiding out with the tomato sauce were thin slices of something dead. I didn't notice them because they had the consistency of cold tomato sauce.

After throwing up (hopefully that got it all), I'm still probably going to be shooting fire out of my intestines until every ounce of dead creature is through my system.

My brother is a jackass. My brother is such a fathead jackass. I'm going to pour soymilk all over his bacon now.

You ate meat!!!

Ha!

Anyway you slice it, no pun intended, meat got in your system!!

You did not get it all even throwing it up. The juices and blood of the dead animal, even though only small amounts, were digested into your system.

Your 10 year streak is over!!

Sorry.

Start a new one. Good luck, duck.

persiphone_hellecat
09-14-2006, 07:29 AM
Im still trying to figure out what kind of meat has the consistancy of cold tomato sauce. None that I know of. Did you find out what it was Ducky??

badducky
09-14-2006, 07:57 AM
You ate meat!!!

Ha!

Anyway you slice it, no pun intended, meat got in your system!!

You did not get it all even throwing it up. The juices and blood of the dead animal, even though only small amounts, were digested into your system.

Your 10 year streak is over!!

Sorry.

Start a new one. Good luck, duck.

Yeah, thanks for your kind message. It's enough to make me throw up again.

What little that did not get into my system was shot out of my... Well, let's just say it hasn't been a fun few days.

It was this weird deli salami-esque invention sliced thin.

I bought me some soymilk this evening. Anything in that fridge meat-related is going to have a little white bath.

PeeDee
09-14-2006, 08:27 AM
I always picture a little Soy Bean running around shouting "People! Tofu is people! Tofu is people!"

Maybe it's just me. :D

(maybe you could just insult your brother gently, from a distance, so you don't damage anything.)

Unique
09-14-2006, 08:29 AM
I still say he ought to serve him a catfood sandwich.

It's hard to do with a straight face but if you start practicing now.....

persiphone_hellecat
09-14-2006, 08:44 AM
I dont know Ducky. As a vegetarian, isnt wasting food, or in this case soy milk, actually very wrong? I just think the milk would be better used for something else. I can seriously understand your being upset - I grew up with three annoying little brothers - but destroying another person's food doesnt sound like a very vegetarian thing to do. Isnt it more about respecting choices? Your brother did a bad thing - that is true - but as Nietzche said "Careful when fighting monsters lest you become one yourself." I really think that should come into play here. Maybe you could be the better person and take the high road here.

As a member of AA, I totally disagree with Billy that your ten years is over. You still have those ten years.

Quite honestly, that wierd salami-esque Deli crap barely resembles meat - if that is any consolation to you - Im sure it isnt though.

I assume that by now, you are feeling better. I hope there was no lasting reaction to the meat. If that's the case, why not just let it go and be the better man?

I guess the message in the future is that you shouldnt ask your brother to prepare your food. Persi

badducky
09-14-2006, 08:58 AM
Normally, I don't eat his cooking, and he doesn't eat mine. However, he specifically said he was going to be making me a pizza, and I didn't want to be rude!

I don't see what being a vegetarian has to do with wasting food.

billythrilly7th
09-14-2006, 11:45 AM
Yeah, thanks for your kind message.

lol...

My pleasure.
:D

billythrilly7th
09-14-2006, 11:47 AM
As a member of AA, I totally disagree with Billy that your ten years is over. You still have those ten years.


Spiritually yes, technically no.

He ate meat.

He can no longer say "I haven't eaten meat in ten years."

He has to say "I ate meat because my brother is a jackass, but I haven't eaten meat by choice in ten years."

Don't worry, ducky, the big man upstairs knows it wasn't your fault.

Ol' Fashioned Girl
09-14-2006, 03:18 PM
Bah. I'd pee in his beer.

poetinahat
09-14-2006, 03:42 PM
Spiritually yes, technically no.

He ate meat.

He can no longer say "I haven't eaten meat in ten years."

He has to say "I ate meat because my brother is a jackass, but I haven't eaten meat by choice in ten years."

Don't worry, ducky, the big man upstairs knows it wasn't your fault.
This post isn't really as mean-spirited as it looks. Vegetable Cops play an important function in society. Good to know there's one on the case here.

:)

Nicholas S.H.J.M Woodhouse
09-14-2006, 03:50 PM
one of my best friends has never had any meat, their mother had decided to ban it before their birth. once at his 20th birthday party somebody had confessed to me that they'd put some meat in his chocolate cake.
i couldn't let pete eat it, i couldn't

Aubrey
09-14-2006, 04:08 PM
Are you physically unable to handle meat? If not, making yourself throw up is a little silly. Unless you have a meat allergy having it in your system isn't going to hurt you. Trust me, I'm a vegetarian who has occassionally had meat accidently or because I'm too lazy to cook and there's nothing to eat in the freezer but a chicken Hot Pocket. The taste doesn't thrill me, but it's not that bad. My problem is with buying it and supporting factory slaughter houses. That's the reason why I gave up meat. Once I have my own house and buy my own food, I hope to take steps towards becoming vegan or at least buy from small, organic farms.

Shweta
09-14-2006, 04:08 PM
BD, I'm in the same boat as you -- if I accidentally ingest meat, I will throw it all up and be horribly sick afterwards. I have with great trouble gotten to the point where I can ingest a -small- amount and just feel nauseous.

Your brother reminds me of a relative of mine who refused to stop tickling me when I was a kid, after I told him that it set off my asthma. Insensitive, and just not getting it, and I had a few attacks and near-misses thanks to that.

Does your brother now "not see what the big problem is"? If so, I really really relate.
Well... I relate anyway...

:hugs:

NeuroFizz
09-14-2006, 04:16 PM
I sympathize with your situation, bad-d, and I agree your brother was a clout, but you may want to change the way you argue your cause. I'd be willing to bet the tomatoes that went into the pizza sauce were (1) once alive, and (2) now very dead. Same with every vegetable you eat.

Shadow_Ferret
09-14-2006, 05:02 PM
Just so you know, meat isn't poison. It wouldn't have killed you.

NeuroFizz
09-14-2006, 05:07 PM
This is just for fun--not intended to be judgemental. It's also a bit too much telling and not enough showing.




AntidisestablishmentVegetarianism


Serenity paced in her dorm room, energized like she’d just chugged a double shot from Starbuck’s. She tried to replay the comments of the director, but could only come up with summarized compliments. It didn’t matter. The bottom line was the important thing—she was chosen to give the talk at the next weekly meeting of the Food Coop Health Consciousness group. The director had pinpointed her born-again enthusiastic embrace of vegetarianism, and her declared major—Nutrition. With that motivation, she’d spent the entire previous night, and part of the morning meticulously preparing the talk. It would be the best one the group had ever seen, imparting equal doses of good nutritional advice and healthful enthusiasm. A week’s worth of sample recipes were added to show how one could obtain a good, balanced diet without meat.

She scanned the grid of slide thumbnails and smiled. They included solid information for those who didn’t fully understand nutritional requirements, but doubled as an efficient parry to any criticism from obnoxious meat-eaters. She was prepared for their correct claim that the essential amino acids are not produced by our bodies, and for their incorrect claim that these essential nutrients only can be obtained from eating flesh. A detailed list of which plant species contain which essential amino acids was carefully woven into the fabric of the recipe sequence to show, through practical application, how easy it was to get the needed balance.

The final touch resided across the hall.

She counted out the three steps it took to cross the dormitory hall and repeated the cadence with three taps on the opposite door.

A grunt, over the backdrop of a throbbing-base stereo, served as an invitation.

Jeffrey slouched at his desk, which was piled high with random stacks of papers and magazines. He swiveled in the chair and leaned forward, elbows on knees, his hands cupping his ears. A smile creased his stretched cheeks.

Serenity held out a printout of the slide thumbnails. “Here are the slides. I finished it sooner than I said I would. Do you still have time to look it over?” She trusted her friend even though he didn’t practice her dietary regimen. He had always yielded a sympathetic ear, and his criticism of her school work had always been constructive. After all, he was a Biology major with a specialization in Ecology and Conservation.

Her mouth opened, but no sound escaped. Something was different in the room. A quick scan solved the mystery. A new poster adorned the prime wall spot to her left. Her eyes stayed—it was beautiful, captivating.

She dipped her gaze long enough to see the printing. “What’s this? Another meeting of one of your Geek Societies? The Society of Something-ology?

She giggled. She knew he shared her contempt for the Greek Society of fraternities and sororities on campus.

Jeffrey rolled his eyes.

Her eyes returned to the poster, and remained fixed on its central figure. “What is that?” she said, pointing. “Some kind of abstract leaf? It’s beautiful.”

The delicacy of the lacy image was bewitching, giving the impression of the fleeting, airy complexity of the finest lace.

Jeffrey stood in front of the chair. “The meeting’s on nematode worms. Most people don’t realize how plentiful they are in the soil throughout the world. They’re probably the most numerous group of animals on the globe. The picture represents a lettuce leaf. If all of the plant material is removed, you can still see the shape of the leaf because of all of the nematodes.”

“Hey.” He jumped back as ricocheting vomit droplets spotted his Nikes.

WerenCole
09-14-2006, 08:07 PM
I would consider maybe switching back to the meatier side of existence. . .


(borrowing the maryn style tag-line)

Weren- a chef who isn't fond of vegetarianism. . .

Shweta
09-14-2006, 08:23 PM
Why would he want to do that, if the thought of meat is repellant and so is the taste of it?
That's like saying "Well, I know hot spice makes you ill, but I like cooking with it so I think you should consider eating it."

:shrug:

billythrilly7th
09-15-2006, 03:51 AM
Here's a thought to neuro and weren:

NO, and DON'T TELL ME HOW TO EAT!

I didn't come over and say, hey, I should go up to people and tell them how to eat, because I have the best way, and my way is the best way. I totally have an MD, and by golly, I know exactly what man should be eating because that's what they taught me in med school, and I think everyone should live their life exactly how HArvard Medical School does it.

It's elitist attitudes that think it's not a big deal that lead to all kinds of problems. Like my three days of gastro-intestinal badness because I'm no longr equipped to digest dead things.

Put it another way: If you know someone is a devout Jew, do you think about where you put bacon and ham? Do you feel like making them eat the way you do because otherwise they're just not normal?! Of course not!

If your girlfriend has a non-deadly wheat allergy but it will still make her real sick, do you go around tossing breadcrumbs into her food just because you don't think it's a big deal!?!?

*...Badducky walks away muttering to himself about how he'll be dancing on all of their graves someday while the carnivores are all dying of cancer and heart disease and he's still riding bicycles and drinking green tea.*

Yeah, that vegan thing worked out really well for Linda McCartney.

Eat meat and excercise in moderation your entire life.

That's how Grandma Thrilly lived to a healthy and vibrant 94 years.

badducky
09-15-2006, 03:53 AM
Go check out the lifespan of 7th Day Adventists, thrillster. Go on.

Anyone else in America doing that well?

billythrilly7th
09-15-2006, 04:06 AM
Go check out the lifespan of 7th Day Adventists, thrillster. Go on.

Anyone else in America doing that well?

Give me a few minutes...

NO JOKE...My steak is ready...lol

I'll get back to you in a bit.

billythrilly7th
09-15-2006, 04:12 AM
Adventists promote a lifestyle free of alcohol, narcotics, caffeine and tobacco, centered on service to God and our fellow man. Many Adventists also choose to be vegetarians.


No drugs or nicotine probably play a larger role in their lifespan over eating sprouts.

This is my philosophy on life.

Everything in moderation.

If you don't like the TASTE of meat, then that's fine, but if you do like the taste of meat, but don't eat it because you want to life an extra couple years, that's whacky IMO.

You like meat, eat some.
You like alcohol, drink now and then.

Etc...

To deny yourself pleasure for decades to tack on an extra couple years is crazy IMO.

But I know some vegatarians who just don't like the taste of meat. It's not really a health issue or a moral issue.

And I say good for them. Then enjoy those sprouts.

Okay...now my steak is done. It was still a little rare.

See ya in a bit.

KimJo
09-15-2006, 04:14 AM
Badducky, I can empathize. I've only been vegetarian for a year, but if I even eat something that's touched meat, I feel nauseated. As someone else said, there are certain enzymes that digest meat; if someone's vegetarian, they no longer produce those enzymes and are therefore no longer physically able to digest meat. So yeah, actually, eating meat, particularly without knowing it, can hurt someone who's been vegetarian for a long time. It's a choice to stop eating meat, but it isn't a choice whether or not to get sick if you do eat it.