Pull the other one, it's got bells on.

PeeDee · Sep 9, 2006

I just got this in the mail. It's a brochure. The front says:

A Gift To Your Family

from Miller-Carlin Funeral Home - Now with three convenient locations!

on the back, it says this:

Miller-Carlin Funeral Homes were the first:
-To have a complete play room for kids
- To allow food during visitations
- To provide tables and chairs for lunches at the funeral home
- To discuss "Celebration of life"
- To offer an antique hearse

and it also says:

"It never occured to me that I could die before my parents, until I had a heart attack." -- Joel Vogel

And when you open this brochure, it asks for every name and date of birth you can think of, your anscestry, your children (living or deceased) your brothers and sisters, and what you want done with you when you die, and your military information.

......

:Wha:

alleycat · Sep 9, 2006

PeeDee said:
Miller-Carlin Funeral Homes were the first:
-To have a complete play room for kids
- To allow food during visitations
- To provide tables and chairs for lunches at the funeral home
- To discuss "Celebration of life"
- To offer an antique hearse

I guess the next thing is an in-service movie. Your choice of an Adam Sandler film, or the next Pixar release.

poetinahat · Sep 9, 2006

So what was the gift? Did you keep it?

And who the heck cares if a funeral home is in a convenient location? We're not talking drycleaners here. I don't think I'd want my funeral to be at a major intersection.

PeeDee · Sep 9, 2006

The gift is either anticipation of my death, or else it was the privelege of getting to give them all my personal information so they know what to do with my body when I die.

I guess I wouldn't want the funeral home to be, say, four hours away. The body would not do well in the car, especially if it was hot and sunny.

SpookyWriter · Sep 9, 2006

Miller-Carlin Funeral Home

Click to expand...

Now why does that sound like a beer commercial with George Carlin as the spokesperson?

PeeDee · Sep 9, 2006

Or a freaking car dealership.

alleycat · Sep 9, 2006

When I go, feel free to skip the "Celebration of Life" service . . . I know I will be.

PeeDee · Sep 9, 2006

I want an open-casket viewing after I'm dead. In my will, I will declare that I want the funeral home people to put me into very detailed zombie makeup just before the viewing.

alleycat · Sep 9, 2006

PeeDee said:
I want an open-casket viewing after I'm dead. In my will, I will declare that I want the funeral home people to put me into very detailed zombie makeup just before the viewing.

Will the makeup be necessary?

PeeDee · Sep 9, 2006

You're right. No make-up, just leave me in the sun for a while before the viewing. That'll do fine.

alleycat · Sep 9, 2006

You might want to ask that they put up a sneeze guard so that the bereaved mourners who have the munchies won't get crumbs in the casket.

PeeDee · Sep 9, 2006

They could use my open casket as the salad bar too. I mean, I won't mind.

SpookyWriter · Sep 9, 2006

PeeDee said:
They could use my open casket as the salad bar too. I mean, I won't mind.

Or load it up with Peter Butter...

...and have an assortment of crackers on the side.

PeeDee · Sep 9, 2006

And manly bacon too, of course.

SpookyWriter · Sep 9, 2006

PeeDee said:
And manly bacon too, of course.

Okay, I'm going to skip breakfast and go straight to the hard stuff.

PeeDee · Sep 9, 2006

Not a good thing to say when following up a post about manly bacon. The hard stuff, huh? Spooky, I said I'm not dating you!

SpookyWriter · Sep 9, 2006

PeeDee said:
Not a good thing to say when following up a post about manly bacon. The hard stuff, huh? Spooky, I said I'm not dating you!

Gee...you got me there. I was thinking more along the lines of liquid hard stuff. (that sounds just as bad...ewwww...)

Unique · Sep 9, 2006

Show us this manly bacon so we can decide now if we want to attend.

PeeDee · Sep 9, 2006

Sorry. While I'm still alive, that's gonna cost you five bucks.

Unique · Sep 9, 2006

PeeDee said:
Sorry. While I'm still alive, that's gonna cost you five bucks.

Is this how you plan to finance the funeral service?

SC Harrison · Sep 9, 2006

PeeDee said:
I want an open-casket viewing after I'm dead. In my will, I will declare that I want the funeral home people to put me into very detailed zombie makeup just before the viewing.

With a contraption that causes your upper body to raise up while your head is turning to face the mourners. That would be classic.

PeeDee · Sep 9, 2006

SC Harrison said:
With a contraption that causes your upper body to raise up while your head is turning to face the mourners. That would be classic.

Yes! Brilliant! I want to terrify my mourning loved ones!

...well, sort of, I do.

SpookyWriter · Sep 9, 2006

I think it would be fun to swap bodies at my funeral. Like have a standin for the funeral.

P.S. I just noticed that funeral is "fun" e ... ral...(funny ralph?)

PeeDee · Sep 9, 2006

"I miss my Uncle Stu......wait.....hang on.....no, really, look, that's not Stu."

allion · Sep 9, 2006

I'm still trying to get my head around the "food at the visitation" thing. What would you serve? Nachos? Sandwiches without the crust? Chips and dip? A cold meat and cheese plate?

Do you really need food there, then? I thought that was what the wake was for. Really, can't people stop eating for the hour or so to look at a dead person?

(I do love the zombie makeup idea)

Karen

Pull the other one, it's got bells on.

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