Any chance they'd take this?

Gravity

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Once you've heard the truth, everything else is ju
Another site I frequent was having some fun with query letters, and this is what I came up with. In light of the Atlanta Nights debacle, think they'd take a swing at this? :D

Dear Publish America:

I have dcided to foregoe the usual agent rout, and go straight to the horses mouth. I understnad you are a traditional publsier, and that's what I'm after. I have written a 15,000 word fiction novel about my life, but everyone's name it is differenet because I dont want to be sude. Anyway, it's about me and my dad and how me made me dress up in ladies cloths and go to truck stops and pick up men for well, you know. And Im a guy!!!!


Anyway, after I got away from him me and my mom joined a circuse where she smoked cigaretes with her feet. Oh, she doesn't have any armes, that's why she smoked cigateres with her feet.

Anyway, after she died I joing the marines and baceme a commmando. I fought in lots of wars, but my name isn't on there rolls becuase I was in disgies.

Anyway, now I work for a TV netwerk as a anchoman and its boring, so I wrote a book about my life story and and a guy I know said you do tehse kind of stories. Well do you? I hope so. He said my story will resonat from sea to shinning sea and will fit you like a glove. And thats funny because I like gloves. You know from my time in the marnines when I was a spie. Anyway, here is my book. When you publsih it, please send me the money. And when will it be in Barnes and Nobble and stores like that and a movie? Hurry up Im not getting any younger.

Thansks, Jim Nabbors (not my real name because of the time I was a spie in the marienes)
 
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Popeyesays

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I think you should bump it to 45,000 words to make it more 'credible'. Do you want help writing it?

Regards.
Scott
 

Alan Yee

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That is pure genius, John. It's better than my spam poem, which is a chapter in my "novel." I'm not sure I'll ever send it to them, but it was fun to write, and I hope to write more chapters.
 

TwentyFour

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I sent in a legit book. I got rejected. I think I should give it back to them again. I think they take names off here though, I used my real name.
 

Maddog

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The only thing I'd change is the IRS part. I meen reely, thay arnt that stoopid in the IRS.

You could made him a rodeo clown, taking after his dear ma in the entertainment industry.
 

Soccer Mom

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Hilarious. You need to cross post this in the bad query thread in the games section :D
 

Aubrey

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That was so funny it left me with tears in my eyes. You simply must send that! Jim Nabbors! *dies laughing again*
 

Selcaby

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Excellent! I'd like to know if they would publish a 15,000 word novel, and if so, what the cover price would be.