Fun Thread: You know you're a writer when... (Moved: Novels to Roundtable)

You know the difference between "your" and "you're."

Actually, you know you're a writer when you can't sleep because the characters won't shut up, so you roll over and start scribbling on the note pad you keep by the bed.

You know you're a writer when your name is Fyodor Dostoevsky.

You know you're a writer when you keep being asked why you never answer the phone.

You know you're a writer when a trip to the mailbox feels like Christmas and your birthday rolled into one. The anticipation and excitement, and then subsequent dejection when you discover you didn't get what you wanted after all.

You know you're a writer when you're jotting down ideas with broken fingers.

You know you're a Romance writer when you have more cats than friends.

ADULT WARNING NEXT JOKE
You know you're a sci fi writer when you're masturbating more times a day than you wash.
[/ADULT WARNING]

You know you're a mystery writer when you find a dead body and check for clues before calling 911

You know you're a memoir/Non-fiction writer when you find yourself asking the checkout girl at Wal-Mart how she spells her last name.

You know you're a Fantasy writer when you have the thought, "If Horgath was here he'd make that bully give me back my underpants."

You know you're a horror writer when your kids stop asking for bedtime stories.

You know you're a contemp/mainstream writer when someone calls your literary writing "quaint"

You know you're a poet when you start writing out your grocery list in iambic pentameter.

You know you're a literary writer when the genre writers all say you suck.

You know you're a SCREENwriter when a REAL writer talks down to you.

You know you're an Erotica writer when you no longer need a thesarus to find twenty synonyms for the word "hole"

You know your a blogger when no one will publish you.

You know you're a writer when someone uses "good" when they should have used "well" and you respond by slashing their cheek with a rusty knife.

Sorry I know a lot of these were bad but they were all in the spirit of fun. I'll try to think of nice happy ones to counteract the mean ones.

...when you're trying to enjoy a nice book or movie, and there's a plot twist that surprises you, and you think 'Nice one! But it would have been better if...'

... when you find yourself jotting notes on a tissue - with barely tinted
lip gloss - so you don't forget a crucial storyline.

...when you watch a film and think it would have been a better book.

...you're reading your favorite book by your favortie author and start noticing all the errors an dmisspellings. thereby ruining teh book entirely

...when you lust after office supplies.

when, at a store, people behind you in line at the check-out start complaining because you're holding up the line because you just had to write down a great idea and you turn to the people and tell them that they'll never understand the plight of a writer, followed by giving them a glare saying and if you don't shut up I'll make something awful happen to you in my next story.

Oh, and here's one I picked up from yesterdays happenstance..

when you're standing in the middle of a library staring at the lighting above you as you're deep in contemplative thought of what it would feel like to see your name on a library shelf. "Miss, are you alright?" "Me? Yeah, I'm just a writer." "Oh, of course."

...when you write down a dream right after waking up, with every intention of using it for a short story later.

you realize you're dreaming a great plot in your sleep and you have to wake up and write to get it out of your system because just jotting it down isn't going to work.

you're driving down the road and grab your voice activated recorder when you have a great idea, so you don't have to pull over and jot it down because by the time you do get through the traffic and grab your jounal, you've forgotten that thought because of cursing at the traffic.

watching a mystery movie and guess the murderer in the first 15 minutes and watch the rest of the movie for nothing.

or watching a mystery movie and think to yourself I've written a better plot and subplots and get irratated because that lousy movie made it and you still haven't gotten published.

aadams73 said:

You know you're a writer when you can't sleep because the characters won't shut up, so you roll over and start scribbling on the note pad you keep by the bed.

Click to expand...

Ahh! Ain't it the truth. And what a grand feeling it is!

You know you're a writer when:

(1) You stare at people in public who look like the characters in your head.

(2) You actually welcome insomnia when it gives you more time to write.

(3) You see life through literature-colored glasses: as in, wow, (such and such) would seem improbable and/or like a plot hole if it were in a novel...

(4) You can't turn off your inner editor when you're reading for pleasure.

... when you're standing at the register and you're actually thinking,

The cashier's gravelly voice boomed over the loudspeaker, "Price check, aisle four." She drummed her talons impatiently on the cheap counter, watching the black plastic box, waiting for an answer. Finally, a crackling response, "Three fifty." Her painted red lips moved as she gnawed what I assumed to be a piece of gum. A squat man shifted his weight behind me and heaved a sigh. I turned and fixed him with an icy glare. Getting the point, he looked down and pretended to study his box of shredded wheat. I paid the cashier and headed out the door, my tampons procured. The automatic doors slid shut behind me, and I breathed a sigh of relief.

You know... crap like that.

...when you don't mind boring lecture classes because they're a chance to work on your novel ("I'm taking notes!").

...when guards at the Smithsonian stop asking what class you're taking notes for and start asking how the novel's coming.

...when your professors will accept "Sorry... I was writing" as an excuse for tardiness as long as you can prove it.

... when the science professor whose office hours you're abusing starts to catch on that you're not actually in any of his classes.

...when an English major tells you they're switching to a different major, and you're first reaction is "Oh, so you're actually getting serious about writing?"*

*this is true at my school because of the way our English major is designed... please no one kill me.

...when you play scenes out in your head with the people you're staring at.

Patches of scenery you see when out riding around makes you think they'd be a good place for something to happen in your story.

Signs. Obsure little towns and street names makes you look at them as names for places and objects in your work.

---when you read a news article and it inspires you to add 2 new characters to your story, thus sewing up a plot hole and providing a transition through a rough patch.

---when you go on vacation and take pictures of places for the express purposes of having a recall of the building's layout, so you can use it for your book.

When you spend more time finding just the right name for your characters than most people take naming their children.

When you stop wasting time on message boards.