Blue, Red, or Texan?

I'm a Republican.

whistlelock said:

Republican's Answer: BANG!

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Of course, he misses. And to cover up for his failure, he bombs the hell out of an Arby's.

BottomlessCup said:

Of course, he misses. And to cover up for his failure, he bombs the hell out of an Arby's.

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maybe your blinding ideology caused you to miss this tidbit...

You are carrying a Glock cal 40, and you are an expert shot.

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Thank you.

Never thought I'd say this - maybe I should go to the I Admit thread.

Apparently I'm a Texan.

And now I want me a Glock !

Experts still miss sometimes.

billythrilly7th said:

maybe your blinding ideology caused you to miss this tidbit...

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I read the papers, Billy.

I know all about Republicans and weapons and experts.

BottomlessCup said:

I read the papers, Billy.

I know all about Republicans and weapons and experts.

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Cool. Then I know that every night and every morning you kneel by your bed and thank god that we've kept you safe and wish for the days of the Roosevelt, Truman, Kennedy democrat to return.

Me too!

You know, even after all these years, I still have no idea what a blue state or a red state is. You'd think the news would just come out and say one is Republican and the others vote for whatever that other one is.

Shadow_Ferret said:

You know, even after all these years, I still have no idea what a blue state or a red state is. You'd think the news would just come out and say one is Republican and the others vote for whatever that other one is.

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A red state is one in which the majority of the residents are clear thinking and go to the polls.

billythrilly7th said:

A red state is one in which the majority of the residents are clear thinking and go to the polls.

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Independents?

Independents stay home.

Except when John Anderson is in the race.

Texan. But instead of the Glock, Can I pretend it's a Heckler & Koch USP compact 9mm? It's smaller and lighter for a little Texas Soccer Mom like me?

The only answer that is obvious to me is: TEXAN!

There's nothing like a little practice shooting!

BottomlessCup said:

Of course, he misses. And to cover up for his failure, he bombs the hell out of an Arby's.

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...and awards a multi-billion dollar contract for reloading the pistol to Haliburton.

...and awards a multi-billion dollar contract for reloading the pistol to Haliburton.

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he also manages to wing his friend, and then blames him for standing nowhere near the terrorist with the knife.

Well, I'd be Texan, but I have no son, wife or daughter. Besides that, how many seconds is "mere?" Two or three? Because the average Texan or Republican ain't Doc Holiday on the draw, & you'd probably end up with a knife in your gut by the time the gun was out anyway.

Fortunately, my stunning, Blue Steel handsomeness would disarm any knife-wielding maniac anyway.

There's nothing more satisfying than the feel of a solid glock in your hands, jerking as it spews hotly.

Only 9 shots on the Glock before you reload? I thought there's at least 10?

But I'll pass on the Glock, thanks, and stick with my 1911.

Enough shots to make sure he stops and goes down. Then reload, hold him at bay, and call the cops first to report.

billythrilly7th said:

Independents stay home.

Except when John Anderson is in the race.

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I have never stayed home. I haven't missed an election since I registered. And in fact, the first person I voted for President was John Anderson.

Anyone who would ask themselves...seriously...what they will do when a knife wielding terrorist comes around the corner to attack them as a means of identifying political idealogy has already answered the question.

BottomlessCup said:

Of course, he misses. And to cover up for his failure, he bombs the hell out of an Arby's.

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Nah just invades Grenada

dclary said:

There's nothing more satisfying than the feel of a solid glock in your hands, jerking as it spews hotly.

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try having one pointed at your head by a hitman for drug gangsters up here. it's not a whole helluva lot of fun. you'd have crapped your moustache

Texan and Democrat

whistlelock said:

Ever wonder where you fit into the American political system?

Here's a little test for you. The answer can be found
by posing the following question:

You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, a terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah/God, raises the knife, and charges at you. You are carrying a Glock cal 40, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you
and your family. What do you do?
....................................................................

Democrat's Answer:

Well, that's not enough information to answer the question! Does the man look poor! Or oppressed? Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack? Could we run away? What does my wife think? What about the kids? Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand? What does the law say about this situation? Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it? Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children? Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me? Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me? If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me? Should I call 911? Why is this street so deserted? We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior. This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for few days and try to come to a consensus.

...................................................................
Republican's Answer: BANG!

....................................................................
Texan's Answer:

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
click................ (sounds of reloading.)
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click.

Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or Hollow Points?"

Son: "Can I shoot the next one?"

Wife: "You ain't taking that to the Taxidermist!!!!"

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Disarm him and take him to the proper authorities.