Completely Useless Information

I can blow spit bubbles.

Children find it funny.

Create a bubble on your tongue, slowly blow it towards the tip and then blow it off and watch it float away.

OMG I majored in random, useless information. Before I became the parent deluxe (with lettuce and tomato, of course), I was a public librarian for years.

Useless information is what we do (but for some reason the patrons always thought whatever they needed to know was the single fact that stood between humanity and its total annihilation.)

Some of my favorites were:

The woman who came in seeking information on "go-wads". I thought she was taking her Dr. Seuss too seriously. It turns out that a "go-wad" to a properly raised Southern lady is a "gourd" to the rest of us. Who knew?

The schoolteacher that asked me how many lightyears the Earth is away from the Moon. It took me a bit to pick my jaw off the floor, after she informed me that she was a junior high science teacher. (The Moon sits on average 384,403 km away from us. A light year (Buzz notwithstanding) is 9.461 * 10 to the 12th power km long.)

There's a ton more anecdotes in my magic bag o' tricks, but the kidleys gotta go learn to beat on each other safely.

See ya
Carol

I learned to juggle and have since forgotten, learned to play piano reasonably well and have let it lapse, but the most useless of all:
German. I took German throughout high school, and while I probably didn't speak it particularly well, I could write excellently and was reading entire books in German. Little did I know I would never use it again, and now I don't speak a word of it. I mean nothing. However I took a three month Spanish course and because I am able to use it daily here in Houston, I can get along ok in Spanish.

The Kreb's Cycle.

Fortunately, I've forgotten it.
What a waste of brain space that turned out to be.

I can make my left eyelid go twice as big as my right eyelid just by tightening my jaw. (It's a great party trick but chewing steaks proves to be quite embarrassing!)

I once wondered how many posts on a fence around this large estate place and it kept bugging me. So, one day, I pretended to walk around and was silently counting. I lost track twice and went back and started over. What a waste of two hours. (though, I did get my daily walk in) The worst part -- I can't even remember how many.

My dad once counted to a million just to prove wrong a teacher who said it was impossible. He did this over a series of years while doing mundane tasks such as mowing the lawn. He would pick up where he left off and keep going until he reached a million. I can't imagine doing this, because I would lose my place somewhere around 83 and give up.

After all that you'd think he would at least write a letter to the teacher going "wrong!" But he didn't. He just wanted to know it could be done. I wonder if anyone even knows this story besides me? (And now, all of you.)

Completely useless?

I have taught myself to transition from SPOCK-fingers

\\//|

to ANTI-SPOCK-fingers

\||/|

and back, at will.

With both hands.

During British colonial times, a trip to India was a common holiday for those with money. The cruise would go all the way around Africa.

The expensive cabins were the ones with a land view, which changed with direction. On the way out from Britain, it's the port side. On the way home, it's the starboard side. Port out, starboard home.

So the wealthier ones' luggage would be marked as such, abbreviated "P.O.S.H." And that's how we got the word 'posh.'

And there's the related acronym TIPS - To Insure Prompt Service.

I stuck up a chore list for my kids to complete at the end of each day.


Nough said.

K1P1 said:

And there's the related acronym TIPS - To Insure Prompt Service.

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Urban legend only.

http://www.randomhouse.com/wotd/index.pperl?date=19990317

Well let's see. Thanks to Pulp Fiction, I know that in France, a quarter pounder with cheese is called a royale with cheese. Something about the metric system... Does that count?

I_Shrugged said:

Is there something completely useless that you've spent time learning?

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Chemistry and advanced calculus.

How to play golf.

I know that I go off on mad quests all the time to find out something I must know immediately...the problem is not only have I forgotten all that I have learned, I have forgotten what I wanted to know in the first place . I really think having children has reduced my ability to retain knowledge. (or possibly just replaced it with carseat information)

I can give you the parentage information on my daylily "Destined To See" as far back as it is recorded. Does that count? It is completely useless to most people but, when breeding them, it helps me a bit...though the dang tetraploids don't behave anyway .

I don't think any knowledge is useless, if you're a writer. You never know what will come in handy for your plot, or to add a quirk to your character.

P.S. The "posh" explanation is also an urban legend.

How about where the word 'golf' comes from. A scottish game only played by men

... Gentlemen Only, Ladies Forbidden. GOLF. Stupid, eh?

Yeah, I am a wealth of useless information.

Christine N. said:

How about where the word 'golf' comes from. A scottish game only played by men

... Gentlemen Only, Ladies Forbidden. GOLF. Stupid, eh?

Yeah, I am a wealth of useless information.

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Urban legend: All the other 4 letters words were taken up. It's also FLOG spelled backwards.

Can't speel wothr a hoot.

I once spent my entire evening trying to memorize a dictionary. I've also learned how to tie my shoes 6 different ways, how to restring my bow, and I've found out exactly how much soap you need to put in a cup of water to make yourself puke. How's that for useless?

TsukiRyoko said:

I've found out exactly how much soap you need to put in a cup of water to make yourself puke. How's that for useless?

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Does it matter which kind of soap you use? or are they all the same?
Just wondering...in case you get bored again some day and want to do some comparisons.

Ah, Dawn soap. The blue kind only. The orange and yellow stuff doesn't work right.

My next soapy guinea pig? lever 2000!

Mercury, Nevada is exactly 52 miles from Groom Lake’s infamous “Area 51”

Deer nibble on new tender shoots when they can find them.