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View Full Version : Different ways to say 'walked toward', 'moved toward'



ixchel
08-25-2006, 07:23 PM
I'm going crazy! Apparently I used 'walked toward,' and 'moved toward' too much in my manuscript. Can anyone think of different ways to say this?

Marlys
08-25-2006, 07:52 PM
approached
crept up on
drew near
came close to
advanced on
closed in on

Or find ways to avoid it altogether. "Mindy!" I waited until we were close enough to talk without shouting. "Did you hear about...?"

triceretops
08-25-2006, 07:54 PM
Crossed to
Arrived at
Reached

Bufty
08-25-2006, 07:56 PM
This is where a thesaurus could help.

There's stacks of ways of getting from point A to B. Slouched, shuffled, stumbled, crawled, strolled, stalked, minced, crept, raced, stormed, hopped, skipped, charged, elbowed, swaggered, lurched, wandered, raced, ambled, headed for...............across/toward

maestrowork
08-25-2006, 08:31 PM
Sashayed
slogged
plodded
trekked
strutted

JanDarby
08-25-2006, 08:41 PM
Also, consider whether you need to mention his walking at all. Perhaps just skip it and allow the reader to realize that he must have walked, when the next action is at the destination. Sometimes we explain things that aren't really necessary.

JD

Cyn
08-25-2006, 09:26 PM
I think JD's suggestion is the best option. Even if you change the way a certain action is stated it can still become redundant. Just try to not be too discriptive. The reader can mentally fill in any blanks, so adding too much information can disturb the flow.

Jamesaritchie
08-25-2006, 10:17 PM
I'm going crazy! Apparently I used 'walked toward,' and 'moved toward' too much in my manuscript. Can anyone think of different ways to say this?

When characters are doing too much walking, the writing is the problem, not the words. Stop looking for different ways of saying it, and start eliminating all the walking.

Bufty
08-25-2006, 11:37 PM
True, I overlooked that. Perhaps 'looking' and 'smiling' come into the same category.


When characters are doing too much walking, the writing is the problem, not the words. Stop looking for different ways of saying it, and start eliminating all the walking.

trumancoyote
08-26-2006, 02:06 AM
ambulated in the general direction of

I like that. You you should use it.

stormie
08-26-2006, 03:33 AM
Whatever you do, if you need to make characters walk toward something, please don't have them make their way towards it. In a best seller, I read "She made her way toward the..." so many times in the book, it ruined it.

ixchel
08-26-2006, 08:42 AM
Thanks for your help. I'm curious, what best seller used this phrase a lot?

stormie
08-26-2006, 07:37 PM
The 11th book in the Janet Evanovich's series. (Can't remember the title.) She tends to use this term "made/making her way" in her other books, too, but in the 11th, she outdid herself. And many times a writer doesn't even have to show the person walking. Or, as others have said, there are other ways of putting it. Janet E. could have utilized another term.

iSAM
08-31-2006, 04:24 AM
"Cara," I muttered, swaggering toward her like a lion. "Have you had time to consider my proposal?"
"Yes," she replied, tiptoeing toward me with the delicate grace of a ballerina.
"Well, what's your answer?" I barked, shuffling ever closer to her, like a shuffler.
"Hm," she mumbled, sidestepping in my direction.
"Ahem," I retorted, as I picked up my left foot, and then placed it down again a few feet from where it had originally been. Then I repeated the process with my right foot.

(We were in a stadium.)

blacbird
09-01-2006, 12:58 AM
You'd be surprised how serviceable "went" is. Under normal circumstances, if your character "went" from the living room to the bedroom, most readers will subliminally assume he walked. Pushing some word like "moseyed" or "ambled" is akin to avoiding the simple "he said" by saying "he expostulated" or "he exclaimed." It's often just plain unnecessary.

caw.

KTC
09-01-2006, 01:02 AM
This is a very common problem. It's come up more times than I care to mention in my critique group. The movement that takes place within scenes. There's only so many ways to explain it. Looks like quite a few have been mentioned here.

PODLINGMASTER
09-01-2006, 01:06 AM
I'm going crazy! Apparently I used 'walked toward,' and 'moved toward' too much in my manuscript. Can anyone think of different ways to say this?

slither
slink
slunk (Grinch)
mosey
flew
skidded
slid

Podlingmaster

Jamesaritchie
09-01-2006, 02:12 AM
You'd be surprised how serviceable "went" is. Under normal circumstances, if your character "went" from the living room to the bedroom, most readers will subliminally assume he walked. Pushing some word like "moseyed" or "ambled" is akin to avoiding the simple "he said" by saying "he expostulated" or "he exclaimed." It's often just plain unnecessary.

caw.

Exactly. And sometimes it's as simple as "The party was well under way, and guests filled the small house. He found Clare in the kitchen." Readers will assume he walked to the kitchen, rather being swooped up on a magic carpet.

When you find yourself look for other ways to say something because you've already said it one way too many times, the problem is nearly always that you shouldn't be saying it at all.

newmod
09-04-2006, 01:01 PM
Anybody mentioned mooch yet?

Bk_30
09-08-2006, 01:37 AM
I've never used mooch as a means to get from point A to point B. I use mooch to replace bum or borrow.

newmod
09-09-2006, 12:28 PM
I've never used mooch as a means to get from point A to point B. I use mooch to replace bum or borrow.

Maybe itīs a British/Irish thing, I use it to mean wlaking about slowly with no particular purpose.

Jamesaritchie
09-10-2006, 01:35 AM
Maybe itīs a British/Irish thing, I use it to mean wlaking about slowly with no particular purpose.

In America, "mooch" means someone who bums things from friends or others. He's always bumming cigarettes, beer, food, you name it.

Neeli
09-10-2006, 02:41 AM
"The heels of her shoes clacked loudly on the stone floor, each step jarring her consciousness, until she stopped, staring the dragon in the eyes, just inches from its teeth."