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flyingtart
01-16-2013, 10:58 PM
A nose job's a wonderful thing
Unless it falls off -- badda bing!
And like King of Pop,
You don't have to stop
But fly on a prayer and a wing


My favourite poet is Keats

Nymtoc
01-16-2013, 11:24 PM
My favourite poet is Keats
"Endymion" thrills my heartbeats

kenthepen
01-17-2013, 03:08 AM
My favorite poet is Keats
"Endymion" thrills my heartbeats
Though Coleridge is cool

Nymtoc
01-17-2013, 03:12 AM
My favorite poet is Keats
"Endymion" thrills my heartbeats
Though Coleridge is cool
And Shelley's no fool

Sir_Nigel
01-17-2013, 01:25 PM
My favorite poet is Keats
"Endymion" thrills my heartbeats
Though Coleridge is cool
And Shelley's no fool
The rest are all talentless cheats

He gazed at the wrinkled balloon

flyingtart
01-17-2013, 01:27 PM
He gazed at the wrinkled balloon
Wond'rin' why it ended so soon

Sir_Nigel
01-17-2013, 03:27 PM
He gazed at the wrinkled balloon
Wond'rin' why it ended so soon
His guests had departed

kenthepen
01-17-2013, 05:10 PM
He gazed at the wrinkled balloon
Wond'rin' why it ended so soon
The guests had departed
He sat brokenhearted

flyingtart
01-17-2013, 05:48 PM
He gazed at the wrinkled balloon
Wond'rin' why it ended so soon
The guests had departed
He sat brokenhearted
And hummed a melancholy tune


"Oh will you for Pete's sake cheer up!"

kenthepen
01-17-2013, 06:03 PM
"Oh will you for Pete's sake cheer up!"
She said as she gave him a cup

flyingtart
01-17-2013, 09:28 PM
"Oh will you for Pete's sake cheer up!"
She said as she gave him a cup
He swigged down a brew

kenthepen
01-17-2013, 09:37 PM
"Oh will you for Pete's sake cheer up!"
She said as she gave him a cup
He swigged down a brew
Then had more than a few

Nymtoc
01-17-2013, 11:24 PM
"Oh will you for Pete's sake cheer up!"
She said as she gave him a cup
He swigged down a brew
Then had more than a few
And soon he was sick as a pup.

His crimes became known far and wide

kenthepen
01-18-2013, 02:25 AM
His crimes became known far and wide
And the places were few he could hide

flyingtart
01-18-2013, 03:50 PM
His crimes became known far and wide
And the places were few he could hide
So he went to his granny

Nymtoc
01-18-2013, 04:02 PM
His crimes became known far and wide
And the places were few he could hide
So he went to his granny,
A wise Pakistani,

iLion
01-18-2013, 10:02 PM
His crimes became known far and wide
And the places were few he could hide
So he went to his granny,
A wise Pakistani,
Who took all his money. He cried.

He was lost in the desert for years

flyingtart
01-18-2013, 10:42 PM
He was lost in the desert for years
And cacti grew out of his ears

Nymtoc
01-19-2013, 12:11 AM
He was lost in the desert for years
And cacti grew out of his ears
Along came a lizard

kenthepen
01-19-2013, 03:35 AM
He was lost in the desert for years
And cacti grew out of his ears
Along came a lizard
Which he slid down his gizzard

annetpfeffer
01-19-2013, 04:42 AM
He was lost in the desert for years
And cacti grew out of his ears
Along came a lizard
Which he slid down his gizzard,
So tasty it brought him to tears.


He left in a hot air balloon

kenthepen
01-19-2013, 04:43 AM
He left in a hot air balloon
And we mourned, as he left us too soon

annetpfeffer
01-19-2013, 12:22 PM
He left in a hot air balloon
And we mourned, as he left us too soon
The balloon flew to Oz

flyingtart
01-19-2013, 01:25 PM
He left in a hot air balloon
And we mourned, as he left us too soon
The balloon flew to Oz
But ignited because

Nymtoc
01-19-2013, 02:06 PM
He left in a hot air balloon
And we mourned, as he left us too soon
The balloon flew to Oz
But ignited because
He kept smoking all afternoon.

He claimed it was exquisite weed

kenthepen
01-19-2013, 05:45 PM
He claimed it was exquisite weed
But I had to spit many a seed

flyingtart
01-19-2013, 06:24 PM
He claimed it was exquisite weed
But I had to spit many a seed
The taste was so vile

kenthepen
01-19-2013, 06:55 PM
He claimed it was exquisite weed
But I had to spit many a seed
The taste was so vile
My "YUK"-face made him smile

annetpfeffer
01-19-2013, 09:17 PM
He claimed it was exquisite weed
and could offer me all I might need

Nymtoc
01-19-2013, 09:30 PM
Got a little doubled up here. Let's play it out. ;)

He claimed it was exquisite weed
But I had to spit many a seed
The taste was so vile
My "YUK"-face made him smile
And admit it was sh*t. A foul deed!

He claimed it was exquisite weed
and could offer me all I might need
But at such a price

kenthepen
01-19-2013, 09:34 PM
He claimed it was exquisite weed
And could offer me all I might need
But at such a price
I had to think twice

annetpfeffer
01-19-2013, 10:33 PM
Whoops! My bad.... thanks Nymtoc!

He claimed it was exquisite weed
And could offer me all I might need
But at such a price
I had to think twice
And then called the guy out on his greed.


A thunderbolt struck me today

Nymtoc
01-19-2013, 10:36 PM
A thunderbolt struck me today
And lit me up. What a display!

flyingtart
01-19-2013, 11:07 PM
A thunderbolt struck me today
And lit me up. What a display!
I lit up the town

kenthepen
01-19-2013, 11:09 PM
A thunderbolt struck me today
And lit me up. What a display!
My hair was so fried

Nymtoc
01-20-2013, 12:03 AM
Seems like we can't avoid doubling today. ;)
A word of advice: After you post, it doesn't hurt to check and see whether someone has posted ahead of you. :e2seesaw:

A thunderbolt struck me today
And lit me up. What a display!
I lit up the town
And as for my gown

A thunderbolt struck me today
And lit me up. What a display!
My hair was so fried
My hairdresser cried

annetpfeffer
01-20-2013, 04:32 AM
A thunderbolt struck me today
And lit me up. What a display!
I lit up the town
And as for my gown
It glowed in the dark, bright as day.



A thunderbolt struck me today
And lit me up. What a display!
My hair was so fried
My hairdresser cried
My hair's now in dreadlocks to stay.


Whenever I get on a plane

Nymtoc
01-20-2013, 01:19 PM
Whenever I get on a plane
I must have a glass of champagne

kenthepen
01-20-2013, 05:45 PM
Whenever I get on a plane
I must have a glass of champagne
Then two shots of rye

flyingtart
01-20-2013, 06:49 PM
Whenever I get on a plane
I must have a glass of champagne
Then two shots of rye
And I'll tell you why

kenthepen
01-20-2013, 07:07 PM
Whenever I get on a plane
I must have a glass of champagne
Then two shots of rye
And I'll tell you why
The sky is not mankind's domain!

It's not that the take-off's too rough

annetpfeffer
01-20-2013, 08:01 PM
It's not that the take-off's too rough
It's thoughts about crashing that's tough

kenthepen
01-20-2013, 09:01 PM
It's not that the take-offs so rough
It's thoughts about crashing that's tough
My seat cushion's too small

flyingtart
01-20-2013, 09:37 PM
It's not that the take-offs so rough
It's thoughts about crashing that's tough
My seat cushion's too small
To help break the fall

Nymtoc
01-20-2013, 09:52 PM
It's not that the take-offs so rough
It's thoughts about crashing that's tough
My seat cushion's too small
To help break the fall
Especially when I'm in the buff.

A horse is asleep in my bed

flyingtart
01-20-2013, 10:56 PM
A horse is asleep in my bed
By the look of him far too well fed

annetpfeffer
01-21-2013, 04:03 AM
A horse is asleep in my bed
By the look of him far too well fed
His mane is too prickly

flyingtart
01-21-2013, 04:10 PM
A horse is asleep in my bed
By the look of him far too well fed
His mane is too prickly
What's more he looks sickly

Nymtoc
01-21-2013, 07:10 PM
A horse is asleep in my bed
By the look of him far too well fed
His mane is too prickly
What's more he looks sickly
I guess he's not sleeping but dead.

There was an old fool from Kilkenny

kenthepen
01-21-2013, 07:13 PM
There was an old fool from Kilkenny
Who stooped down to pick up a penny

(Is Kilkenny near Southpark?)

flyingtart
01-21-2013, 07:58 PM
There was an old fool from Kilkenny
Who stooped down to pick up a penny
Said he, with a smile

kenthepen
01-21-2013, 08:10 PM
There was an old fool from Kilkenny
Who stooped down to pick up a penny
Said he, with a smile
"I'd walk many a mile

annetpfeffer
01-22-2013, 03:06 AM
There was an old fool from Kilkenny
Who stooped down to pick up a penny
Said he, with a smile
"I'd walk many a mile
But the problem's my shoes -- haven't any!


I skipped down the yellow brick road

kenthepen
01-22-2013, 04:38 AM
I skipped down the yellow brick road
Hopped and leaped like a gleeful fat toad

Nymtoc
01-22-2013, 05:24 AM
I skipped down the yellow brick road
Hopped and leaped like a gleeful fat toad
No witch did I fear

kenthepen
01-22-2013, 05:52 AM
I skipped down the yellow brick road
Hopped and leaped like a gleeful fat toad
No witch did I fear
As I OD'd on beer

annetpfeffer
01-22-2013, 09:18 AM
I skipped down the yellow brick road
Hopped and leaped like a gleeful fat toad
No witch did I fear
As I OD'd on beer
If I just hosed her down, she'd implode.


There were lions and tigers and bears

flyingtart
01-22-2013, 01:41 PM
There were lions and tigers and bears
All selling themselves unawares

Nymtoc
01-22-2013, 01:46 PM
There were lions and tigers and bears
All selling themselves unawares
They'd soon be fur coats

flyingtart
01-22-2013, 04:49 PM
There were lions and tigers and bears
All selling themselves unawares
They'd soon be fur coats
And shipped off in boats

kenthepen
01-22-2013, 05:18 PM
There were lions and tigers and bears
All selling themselves unawares
They'd soon be fur coats
And shipped off in boats
And worn at the finest affairs.

Her bedroom was filled up with roses

Sir_Nigel
01-22-2013, 05:42 PM
Her bedroom was filled up with roses
She is dead and she now decomposes

kenthepen
01-22-2013, 05:51 PM
Her bedroom was filled up with roses
She is dead and she now decomposes
The flowers' sweet scent

annetpfeffer
01-22-2013, 08:52 PM
Her bedroom was filled up with roses
She is dead and she now decomposes
The flowers' sweet scent,
the smell of ferment,

iLion
01-22-2013, 09:26 PM
Her bedroom was filled up with roses
She is dead and she now decomposes
The flowers' sweet scent,
the smell of ferment,
Burns our eyes, and stings all our noses.

We think she was bored unto death

kenthepen
01-22-2013, 09:39 PM
We think she was bored unto death
As she whined with her last living breath

Nymtoc
01-22-2013, 09:45 PM
We think she was bored unto death
As she whined with her last living breath,
"My husband's a clown

kenthepen
01-22-2013, 09:48 PM
We think she was bored unto death
As she whined with her last living breath
"My husband's a clown
But he's painted a frown

iLion
01-22-2013, 10:14 PM
We think she was bored unto death
As she whined with her last living breath
"My husband's a clown,
But he's painted a frown
on my face, 'cuz he used up the meth."

She dove for the trapeze but missed

flyingtart
01-23-2013, 12:08 AM
She dove for the trapeze but missed
The silly old baggage was pissed

Nymtoc
01-23-2013, 12:12 AM
She dove for the trapeze but missed
The silly old baggage was pissed
As she fell through the air

Sir_Nigel
01-23-2013, 01:46 PM
She dove for the trapeze but missed
The silly old baggage was pissed
As she fell through the air
She was grabbed by the hair

flyingtart
01-23-2013, 01:48 PM
She dove for the trapeze but missed
The silly old baggage was pissed
As she fell through the air
She was grabbed by the hair
Then roughly manhandled and kissed

"Young man!" she exclaimed in surprise

Sir_Nigel
01-23-2013, 03:03 PM
"Young man!" she exclaimed in surprise
you have seen through my cunning disguise

Nymtoc
01-23-2013, 03:15 PM
"Young man!" she exclaimed in surprise
"you have seen through my cunning disguise
But now that you know

kenthepen
01-23-2013, 06:10 PM
"Young man!" she exclaimed in surprise
"You have seen through my cunning disguise
But now that you know
Hold your horses, go slow

flyingtart
01-23-2013, 06:50 PM
"Young man!" she exclaimed in surprise
"You have seen through my cunning disguise
But now that you know
Hold your horses, go slow
And take your wet schlong off my thighs!"


He tipped his fedora and said

Sir_Nigel
01-23-2013, 06:58 PM
He tipped his fedora and said
‘I’ve mistakenly climbed in your bed ‘

kenthepen
01-23-2013, 08:47 PM
He tipped his fedora and said
'I've mistakenly climbed in your bed.'
She quickly forgave

iLion
01-23-2013, 09:42 PM
He tipped his fedora and said
'I've mistakenly climbed in your bed.'
She quickly forgave
And made him her slave

Nymtoc
01-23-2013, 10:08 PM
He tipped his fedora and said
'I've mistakenly climbed in your bed.'
She quickly forgave
And made him her slave
And a year after that, they were wed.

Charlie Jones huffed and puffed up the hill

iLion
01-23-2013, 10:16 PM
Charlie Jones huffed and puffed up the hill.
"For one more cigar, I would kill!"

Nymtoc
01-23-2013, 10:22 PM
Charlie Jones huffed and puffed up the hill.
"For one more cigar, I would kill!
If I had a cheroot

iLion
01-23-2013, 10:25 PM
Charlie Jones huffed and puffed up the hill.
"For one more cigar, I would kill!
If I had a cheroot
Stuck down in my boot

Nymtoc
01-24-2013, 12:32 AM
Charlie Jones huffed and puffed up the hill.
"For one more cigar, I would kill!
If I had a cheroot
Stuck down in my boot
I'd be rugged as Buffalo Bill."

All the girls knew that Phil was a phony

kenthepen
01-24-2013, 01:42 AM
All the girls knew that Phil was a phony
But they still gobbled up his baloney

iLion
01-24-2013, 01:45 AM
All the girls knew that Phil was a phony
But they still gobbled up his baloney.
They liked it on buns

flyingtart
01-24-2013, 02:00 PM
All the girls knew that Phil was a phony
But they still gobbled up his baloney.
They liked it on buns
Those sesame ones

Sir_Nigel
01-24-2013, 02:20 PM
All the girls knew that Phil was a phony
But they still gobbled up his baloney.
They liked it on buns
Those sesame ones
then slept with this other guy, Tony.



Oh no!, said the nun in dismay

kenthepen
01-24-2013, 05:54 PM
Oh no!, said the nun in dismay
As her habit was in disarray

flyingtart
01-24-2013, 06:42 PM
Oh no!, said the nun in dismay
As her habit was in disarray
"I should have worn undies"

kenthepen
01-24-2013, 06:44 PM
Oh no!, said the nun in dismay
As her habit was in disarray
"I should have worn undies-
I save them for Sundies

Sir_Nigel
01-24-2013, 07:05 PM
Oh no!, said the nun in dismay
As her habit was in disarray
"I should have worn undies-
I save them for Sundies
Why I stood on my head I can’t say.

She was facing a room full of monks

Lavern08
01-24-2013, 08:31 PM
She was facing a room full of monks
Who were wearing tight, red swimming trunks

annetpfeffer
01-24-2013, 11:31 PM
She was facing a room full of monks
Who were wearing tight, red swimming trunks
There, proudly displayed,

flyingtart
01-25-2013, 12:00 AM
She was facing a room full of monks
Who were wearing tight, red swimming trunks
There, proudly displayed,
Were tents they had made

Nymtoc
01-25-2013, 02:22 AM
She was facing a room full of monks
Who were wearing tight, red swimming trunks
There, proudly displayed,
Were tents they had made
With beds of nails serving as bunks.

"The trouble with you," said Nadine,

flyingtart
01-25-2013, 02:27 AM
"The trouble with you," said Nadine,
"Is your limericks verge on obscene"

annetpfeffer
01-25-2013, 06:06 AM
"The trouble with you," said Nadine,
"Is your limericks verge on obscene"
"Your mind's in the gutter,"

Nymtoc
01-25-2013, 07:51 AM
"The trouble with you," said Nadine,
"Is your limericks verge on obscene
Your mind's in the gutter,
With lewdness you sputter

Sir_Nigel
01-25-2013, 12:46 PM
"The trouble with you," said Nadine,
"Is your limericks verge on obscene
Your mind's in the gutter,
With lewdness you sputter.
And remember I’m only fourteen."


He wanted to make a fresh start

flyingtart
01-25-2013, 01:13 PM
He wanted to make a fresh start
So loaded his stuff on a cart

Nymtoc
01-25-2013, 03:37 PM
He wanted to make a fresh start
So loaded his stuff on a cart
He looked at a map

kenthepen
01-25-2013, 06:27 PM
He wanted to make a fresh start
So loaded his stuff on a cart
He looked at a map
Took off with his crap

flyingtart
01-25-2013, 06:56 PM
He wanted to make a fresh start
So loaded his stuff on a cart
He looked at a map
Took off with his crap
And picked up a hitchhiking tart


"Oh where are you going, my dearie?"

kenthepen
01-25-2013, 07:00 PM
"Oh, where are you going, my dearie?"
From an alley came this plaintive query

Nymtoc
01-25-2013, 09:37 PM
"Oh, where are you going, my dearie?"
From an alley came this plaintive query
"To paradise, hon,

annetpfeffer
01-25-2013, 10:24 PM
"Oh, where are you going, my dearie?"
From an alley came this plaintive query
"To paradise, hon,
And you are the one

kenthepen
01-25-2013, 10:37 PM
"Oh, where are you going, my dearie?"
From an alley came this plaintive query
"To paradise, hon,
And you are the one
Gimme cash, and don't be so leery."

If turtles could learn how to fly

Nymtoc
01-26-2013, 12:29 AM
If turtles could learn how to fly
I'd tame one and ride through the sky

flyingtart
01-26-2013, 12:47 AM
If turtles could learn how to fly
I'd tame one and ride through the sky
But the problem would come

Nymtoc
01-26-2013, 11:34 AM
If turtles could learn how to fly
I'd tame one and ride through the sky
But the problem would come
If the turtle drank rum

annetpfeffer
01-26-2013, 07:36 PM
If turtles could learn how to fly
I'd tame one and ride through the sky
But the problem would come.
If the turtle drank rum
and flew upside down, then so would I.


I climbed to the top of a tree

flyingtart
01-26-2013, 08:06 PM
I climbed to the top of a tree
An odd place to go for a pee

kenthepen
01-26-2013, 08:10 PM
I climbed to the top of a tree
An odd place to go for a pee
The wind was just right

Nymtoc
01-27-2013, 07:26 AM
I climbed to the top of a tree
An odd place to go for a pee
The wind was just right
My old foe was in sight

archerjoe
01-27-2013, 07:47 AM
I climbed to the top of a tree
An odd place to go for a pee
The wind was just right
My old foe was in sight
Too bad he won't know it was me

Some people send texts while they drive

Nymtoc
01-27-2013, 11:13 AM
Some people send texts while they drive
The lucky ones come out alive

kenthepen
01-27-2013, 06:43 PM
Some people send texts while they drive
The lucky ones come out alive
When sexts come in bunches

Matera the Mad
01-27-2013, 11:50 PM
Some people send texts while they drive
The lucky ones come out alive
When sexts come in bunches
They often cause crunches

kenthepen
01-28-2013, 03:25 AM
Some people send texts while they drive
The lucky ones come out alive
When sexts come in bunches
They often cause crunches
Those driving one-handed won't thrive

I never intended to say

Nymtoc
01-28-2013, 03:39 AM
I never intended to say
That your writing is sadly passť

annetpfeffer
01-28-2013, 05:14 AM
I never intended to say
That your writing is sadly passť
Your verb use is weak

flyingtart
01-28-2013, 02:02 PM
I never intended to say
That your writing is sadly passť
Your verb use is weak
Your metaphors creak

Spell-it-out
01-28-2013, 04:24 PM
I never intended to say
That your writing is sadly passť
Your verb use is weak
Your metaphors creak
And I don't like your hyperbole!

I ain't no Mr.T

flyingtart
01-28-2013, 04:45 PM
I admit I am no Mr.T*
In fact I'm as weak as a flea

*edited for metre

kenthepen
01-28-2013, 05:35 PM
I admit I am no Mr. T
In fact I'm as weak as a flea
I push vowels around

Nymtoc
01-28-2013, 07:33 PM
I admit I am no Mr. T
In fact I'm as weak as a flea
I push vowels around
With toothpicks I found

kenthepen
01-28-2013, 09:24 PM
I admit I am no Mr. T
In fact I'm as weak as a flea
I push vowels around
With toothpicks I've found
It's fun, if unsanitary

If my meter unravels, it's fine

flyingtart
01-28-2013, 09:27 PM
If my meter unravels, it's fine
And occurs often when I drink wine

kenthepen
01-28-2013, 09:31 PM
If my meter unravels, it's fine
And occurs often when I drink wine
My rhymes still pass muster

archerjoe
01-28-2013, 10:02 PM
If my meter unravels, it's fine
And occurs often when I drink wine
My rhymes still pass muster
With minimal bluster

flyingtart
01-28-2013, 10:58 PM
If my meter unravels, it's fine
And occurs often when I drink wine
My rhymes still pass muster
With minimal bluster
Tho the punchline can be anodyne


I blanched when he gave me the bill

Lavern08
01-29-2013, 12:34 AM
I blanched when he gave me the bill
I read it again and felt ill

kenthepen
01-29-2013, 03:05 AM
I blanched when he gave me the bill
I read it again and felt ill
"The labor costs more

Nymtoc
01-29-2013, 04:21 AM
I blanched when he gave me the bill
I read it again and felt ill
"The labor costs more
Than the burger!" I swore

kenthepen
01-29-2013, 05:40 AM
I blanched when he gave me the bill
I read it again and felt ill
"The labor costs more
Than the burger!" I swore,
"And I'm burping the onions up still!"

The milkshake was minty and thick

Nymtoc
01-29-2013, 09:23 AM
The milkshake was minty and thick
It gave an unusual kick

Sir_Nigel
01-29-2013, 12:47 PM
The milkshake was minty and thick
It gave an unusual kick
Did somebody spike it?

flyingtart
01-29-2013, 01:25 PM
The milkshake was minty and thick
It gave an unusual kick
Did somebody spike it?
Whatever, I like it!

Sir_Nigel
01-29-2013, 02:07 PM
The milkshake was minty and thick
It gave an unusual kick
Did somebody spike it?
Whatever, I like it!
I’ve had nine. Now I’m going to be sick.



He had an increasing suspicion

Nymtoc
01-29-2013, 04:57 PM
He had an increasing suspicion
His doctor was not a physician

kenthepen
01-29-2013, 06:07 PM
He had an increasing suspicion
His doctor was not a physician
His methods weren't normal

flyingtart
01-29-2013, 06:08 PM
He had an increasing suspicion
His doctor was not a physician
His methods weren't normal
His manners informal

Sir_Nigel
01-29-2013, 06:26 PM
He had an increasing suspicion
His doctor was not a physician
His methods weren't normal
His manners informal
But his chicken bones cured my condition


Discarding his much hated truss

kenthepen
01-29-2013, 06:48 PM
Discarding his much hated truss
He sought a sweet maiden to buss

flyingtart
01-29-2013, 07:00 PM
Discarding his much hated truss
He sought a sweet maiden to buss
But the one that he found

kenthepen
01-29-2013, 07:08 PM
Discarding his much hated truss
He sought a sweet maiden to buss
But the one that he found
Was too big around

Lavern08
01-29-2013, 07:34 PM
Discarding his much hated truss
He sought a sweet maiden to buss
But the one that he found
Was too big around
So he gave her to his pal named Gus

The maiden did not like the trade

Nymtoc
01-29-2013, 08:04 PM
The maiden did not like the trade
When she saw Gus, she was dismayed

annetpfeffer
01-29-2013, 08:21 PM
The maiden did not like the trade
When she saw Gus, she was dismayed.
She said, "Just cuz I'm big

flyingtart
01-29-2013, 08:44 PM
The maiden did not like the trade
When she saw Gus, she was dismayed.
She said, "Just cuz I'm big
Don't mean I'd date a pig

Nymtoc
01-29-2013, 09:45 PM
The maiden did not like the trade
When she saw Gus, she was dismayed.
She said, "Just cuz I'm big
Don't mean I'd date a pig
I know much better ways to get laid."

Seeing Bob's new car, she was ecstatic

annetpfeffer
01-29-2013, 10:19 PM
Seeing Bob's new car, she was ecstatic
She had always preferred automatic

flyingtart
01-30-2013, 01:00 AM
Seeing Bob's new car, she was ecstatic
She had always preferred automatic
But the wonky ignition

annetpfeffer
01-30-2013, 04:34 AM
Seeing Bob's new car, she was ecstatic
She had always preferred automatic
But the wonky ignition
And foul black emission

kenthepen
01-30-2013, 06:11 AM
Seeing Bob's new car, she was ecstatic
She had always preferred automatic
But the wonky ignition
And foul black emission
Continued to prove problematic

Her new situation was dire

Nymtoc
01-30-2013, 06:13 AM
Her new situation was dire
A fool she was, trusting the friar!

kenthepen
01-30-2013, 06:16 AM
Her new situation was dire
A fool she was, trusting the friar!
He claimed every rite

Sir_Nigel
01-30-2013, 05:42 PM
Her new situation was dire
A fool she was, trusting the friar!
He claimed every rite
Put her demons to flight

kenthepen
01-30-2013, 05:45 PM
Her new situation was dire
A fool she was, trusting the friar
He claimed every rite
Put her demons to flight
As they lay naked next to the fire

But she felt no more clean than before

Nymtoc
01-30-2013, 07:47 PM
But she felt no more clean than before
Deep inside she still felt like a whore

flyingtart
01-30-2013, 08:31 PM
But she felt no more clean than before
Deep inside she still felt like a whore
"My child," quoth the Monk

kenthepen
01-30-2013, 08:36 PM
But she felt no more clean than before
Deep inside she still felt like a whore
"My child," quoth the Monk,
"Go thou, kneel by my bunk

Nymtoc
01-30-2013, 08:42 PM
But she felt no more clean than before
Deep inside she still felt like a whore
"My child," quoth the Monk,
"Go thou, kneel by my bunk
And be privy to blessings galore."

But still she was troubled by doubt

kenthepen
01-30-2013, 08:51 PM
But still she was troubled by doubt
Hallowed halls seemed the same as without

iLion
01-30-2013, 10:00 PM
But still she was troubled by doubt
Hallowed halls seemed the same as without
So she laid ALL the monks

flyingtart
01-30-2013, 11:36 PM
But still she was troubled by doubt
Hallowed halls seemed the same as without
So she laid ALL the monks
Till she'd worn out their bunks

iLion
01-30-2013, 11:42 PM
But still she was troubled by doubt
Hallowed halls seemed the same as without
So she laid ALL the monks
Till she'd worn out their bunks
And ended the last with a shout!!

Alas, she was worn out and sore

kenthepen
01-31-2013, 01:38 AM
Alas, she was worn out and sore
But righteous she felt, to the core

Nymtoc
01-31-2013, 03:00 AM
Alas, she was worn out and sore
But righteous she felt, to the core
Her soul was now blessed

annetpfeffer
01-31-2013, 05:07 AM
Interesting what you boys do when left to your own devices...

Alas, she was worn out and sore
But righteous she felt, to the core
Her soul was now blessed
But she needed some rest


(Except for Flying Tart, but she's always been a bad influence...

Nymtoc
01-31-2013, 06:11 AM
Interesting what you boys do when left to your own devices...





I have no idea what you're talking about. ;)

Alas, she was worn out and sore
But righteous she felt, to the core
Her soul was now blessed
But she needed some rest
Since the last three were done on the floor.

The bishop learned what she had done

Sir_Nigel
01-31-2013, 12:27 PM
The bishop learned what she had done
and wanted a piece of the fun

flyingtart
01-31-2013, 01:03 PM
The bishop learned what she had done
and wanted a piece of the fun
"For the sake of your soul

Sir_Nigel
01-31-2013, 06:15 PM
The bishop learned what she had done
and wanted a piece of the fun
"For the sake of your soul
at least charge a toll”

flyingtart
01-31-2013, 06:40 PM
The bishop learned what she had done
and wanted a piece of the fun
"For the sake of your soul
at least charge a toll
Then you won't be a penniless one."


These lim'ricks are getting too lewd

kenthepen
01-31-2013, 06:55 PM
These lim'ricks are getting too lewd
I wouldst rhyme without seeming so rude

Nymtoc
01-31-2013, 07:12 PM
These lim'ricks are getting too lewd
I wouldst rhyme without seeming so rude
A paean to a dove

annetpfeffer
01-31-2013, 09:06 PM
These lim'ricks are getting too lewd
I wouldst rhyme without seeming so rude
A paean to a dove,
Not the verses above

iLion
01-31-2013, 09:25 PM
These lim'ricks are getting too lewd
I wouldst rhyme without seeming so rude
A paean to a dove,
Not the verses above
Altho lewd, when accrued, is quite good!

She loved to write books about love

Nymtoc
01-31-2013, 11:03 PM
She loved to write books about love,
Romances she'd been dreaming of,

flyingtart
01-31-2013, 11:05 PM
She loved to write books about love,
Romances she'd been dreaming of,
But the moons and the junes

Lavern08
01-31-2013, 11:37 PM
She loved to write books about love,
Romances she'd been dreaming of,
But the moons and the junes
And the old-fashioned tunes

kenthepen
02-01-2013, 12:03 AM
She loved to write books about love,
Romances she'd been dreaming of,
But the moons and the Junes
And the old-fashioned tunes
Left her cold both below and above

For Romance is a song of the soul

Lavern08
02-01-2013, 12:07 AM
For Romance is a song of the soul
Sung by both the young and the old

flyingtart
02-01-2013, 12:14 AM
For Romance is a song of the soul
Sung by both the young and the old
The drama of passion

kenthepen
02-01-2013, 12:35 AM
For Romance is the song of the soul
Sung by both the young and the old
The drama of passion
E'er heedless of fashion

Nymtoc
02-01-2013, 12:49 AM
For Romance is the song of the soul
Sung by both the young and the old
The drama of passion
E'er heedless of fashion
Will capture both charmer and troll.

So let us sing Hail to Romance

Lavern08
02-01-2013, 12:52 AM
So let us sing Hail to Romance
As we toast and make merry and dance

flyingtart
02-01-2013, 12:55 AM
So let us sing Hail to Romance
As we toast and make merry and dance
And warmly embrace

annetpfeffer
02-01-2013, 02:02 AM
So let us sing Hail to Romance
As we toast and make merry and dance
And warmly embrace
the young lovers' chase

kenthepen
02-01-2013, 02:14 AM
So let us sing Hail to Romance
As we toast and make merry and dance
And warmly embrace
The young lovers' chase
And keep all the rest in our pants

For the heart and the hands and the lips

annetpfeffer
02-01-2013, 04:42 AM
For the heart and the hands and the lips
Are inclined to both errors and slips

kenthepen
02-01-2013, 08:11 AM
For the heart and the hands and the lips
Are inclined to both errors and slips
As observers, we root

annetpfeffer
02-01-2013, 09:02 AM
For the heart and the hands and the lips
Are inclined to both errors and slips
As observers, we root
that she'll give him the boot

Sir_Nigel
02-01-2013, 01:34 PM
For the heart and the hands and the lips
Are inclined to both errors and slips
As observers, we root
that she'll give him the boot
now we’ve all seen the video clips.


His toe didn’t hurt very much

Nymtoc
02-01-2013, 01:43 PM
His toe didnít hurt very much
But to be safe, he used a crutch

flyingtart
02-01-2013, 01:48 PM
His toe didn’t hurt very much
But to be safe, he used a crutch
When he tried to dance

Sir_Nigel
02-01-2013, 05:52 PM
His toe didn’t hurt very much
But to be safe, he used a crutch
When he tried to dance
The can can, in France

Lavern08
02-01-2013, 06:38 PM
His toe didn’t hurt very much
But to be safe, he used a crutch
When he tried to dance
The can can, in France
He whacked a poor guy they called "Dutch"

The Super Bowl makes me all giddy

Sir_Nigel
02-01-2013, 06:43 PM
The Super Bowl makes me all giddy
-cried the over-excitable biddy

Nymtoc
02-01-2013, 07:17 PM
The Super Bowl makes me all giddy
-cried the over-excitable biddy
Those muscular men

iLion
02-01-2013, 10:27 PM
The Super Bowl makes me all giddy
-cried the over-excitable biddy
Those muscular men
All look like a ten

kenthepen
02-02-2013, 01:10 AM
The Superbowl makes me all giddy
-cried the over-excitable biddy
Those muscular men
All look like a ten
That's what happens when you're over fiddy

Now the girls wearing volleyball shorts

annetpfeffer
02-02-2013, 03:48 AM
His toe didnít hurt very much
But to be safe, he used a crutch
When he tried to dance
The can can, in France
the toe became painful to touch.


I lost my umbrella today

Nymtoc
02-02-2013, 08:49 AM
You were looking at the wrong page, Anne. Allow me to remind everyone again: After you post, look at the resulting page and make sure your post is in the right place, and also that no one has crept in ahead of you while you were thinking up your post.

However, we now have two lines to start limericks with, which is not the worst thing that could possibly happen. :banana:

Now the girls wearing volleyball shorts
Considered themselves good at sports

I lost my umbrella today
A winter wind swept it away

JoBird
02-02-2013, 08:57 AM
Now the girls wearing volleyball shorts
Considered themselves good at sports
Little did they know

I lost my umbrella today
A winter wind swept it away
Now my hair's all wet

Nymtoc
02-02-2013, 12:11 PM
A word about scansion: The lines in a limerick are measured not by syllables but by "beats." Lines 1,2 and 5 have three beats. Lines 3 and 4 have two. The beats must fall in the right places.

So Line 3 of a limerick must have the pattern "da-DA-da-da-DA" (or "da-da-DA-da-da-DA" or "da-DA-da-da-DA-da" or even "da-da-DA-da-da-DA-da"--all pretty much the same except for the addition of extra weak beats at the beginning or end). Confused enough? It really is quite simple. The first limerick's third line, as written above, scans like this: "Lit-TLE did they KNOW." Nobody says "Lit-TLE." So I've changed it to "But THEY did not KNOW."

(Yes, I'm long-winded. :snoopy:)

Now the girls wearing volleyball shorts
Considered themselves good at sports
But they did not know
Their knickers would show

I lost my umbrella today
A winter wind swept it away
Now my hair's all wet
It's sticky, and yet

flyingtart
02-02-2013, 12:26 PM
Now the girls wearing volleyball shorts
Considered themselves good at sports
But they did not know
Their knickers would show
Attracting some bawdy retorts

I lost my umbrella today
A winter wind swept it away
Now my hair's all wet
It's sticky, and yet
I'm still feeling happy, way hey!


Don't ever tweet lies about Dan

annetpfeffer
02-02-2013, 02:59 PM
Don't ever tweet lies about Dan
No matter what, he is the Man

flyingtart
02-02-2013, 04:49 PM
Don't ever tweet lies about Dan
No matter what, he is the Man
And the things that you heard

kenthepen
02-02-2013, 06:51 PM
Don't ever tweet lies about Dan
No matter what, he is the Man
And the things that you heard
from that jealous ol' bird

Nymtoc
02-02-2013, 07:36 PM
Don't ever tweet lies about Dan
No matter what, he is the Man
And the things that you heard
From that jealous ol' bird
Should be instantly flushed down the can.

Miranda has no brains at all

JoBird
02-02-2013, 08:01 PM
Miranda has no brains at all
She spends all her time at the mall

flyingtart
02-02-2013, 09:21 PM
Miranda has no brains at all
She spends all her time at the mall
So it gave me a shock

annetpfeffer
02-02-2013, 10:04 PM
Miranda has no brains at all
She spends all her time at the mall
So it gave me a shock
When I heard the girl talk

kenthepen
02-03-2013, 05:23 AM
Miranda has no brains at all
She spends all her time at the mall
So it gave me a shock
When I heard the girl talk
And she made me feel stupid and small

Just because I don't know who J Wow is

annetpfeffer
02-03-2013, 12:03 PM
Meter's messed up on this .... bold is where the emphasis should go

Just because I don't know who J Wow is
I do know what a villainous cow is

kenthepen
02-03-2013, 05:22 PM
If I knew how to do bold, I would; you left out KNOW and VILL-.
Hurry, the meter's running........

Just because I don't know who J Wow is
I know what a villainous cow is
These "reality" shills

flyingtart
02-03-2013, 05:38 PM
Just because I don't know who J Wow is
I know what a villainous cow is
These "reality" shills
Give nobody thrills

kenthepen
02-03-2013, 05:41 PM
Just because I don't know who J Wow is
I know what a villainous cow is
These "reality" shills
Give nobody thrills
And I want to teach them what KAPOW! is

I watched Casablanca last night

annetpfeffer
02-03-2013, 06:30 PM
I watched Casablanca last night
It made me decide to invite

kenthepen
02-03-2013, 06:55 PM
I watched Casablanca last night
It made me decide to invite
Ilsa Lund to the party

annetpfeffer
02-04-2013, 02:26 AM
I watched Casablanca last night
It made me decide to invite
Ilsa Lund to the party.
Her laughter was hearty.

kenthepen
02-04-2013, 02:43 AM
I watched Casablanca last night
It made me decide to invite
Ilsa Lund to the party.
Her laughter was hearty.
But she left on the last foggy flight.

After closing up Rick's old Cafe

Nymtoc
02-04-2013, 03:20 AM
After closing up Rick's old Cafe
Rick and Captain Renault played croquet

Sir_Nigel
02-04-2013, 12:39 PM
After closing up Rick's old Cafe
Rick and Captain Renault played croquet
Whilst Sam played piano

Nymtoc
02-04-2013, 02:23 PM
After closing up Rick's old Cafe
Rick and Captain Renault played croquet
Whilst Sam played piano
Carl ate a banana

flyingtart
02-04-2013, 04:10 PM
After closing up Rick's old Cafe
Rick and Captain Renault played croquet
Whilst Sam played piano
Carl ate a banana
And Ilsa baked cakes every day


Please don't point that firearm at me

kenthepen
02-04-2013, 04:42 PM
Please don't point that firearm at me
It causes slight shaking of knee

Nymtoc
02-04-2013, 08:20 PM
Please don't point that firearm at me
It causes slight shaking of knee
If it should go "Boom!"

flyingtart
02-04-2013, 08:42 PM
Please don't point that firearm at me
It causes slight shaking of knee
If it should go "Boom!"
I'll have to assume

iLion
02-04-2013, 09:45 PM
Please don't point that firearm at me
It causes slight shaking of knee
If it should go "Boom!"
I'll have to assume
You're aiming to kill l'il ole me.

If my money is all that you want

annetpfeffer
02-04-2013, 11:03 PM
If my money is all that you want
If you're hoping diamonds to flaunt

flyingtart
02-04-2013, 11:08 PM
If my money is all that you want
If you're hoping for diamonds to flaunt
You'll be disappointed

Nymtoc
02-04-2013, 11:08 PM
If my money is all that you want
If you're hoping diamonds to flaunt
You'll be disappointed
Your plans are disjointed

JoBird
02-05-2013, 04:24 AM
If my money is all that you want
If you're hoping diamonds to flaunt
You'll be disappointed
Your plans are disjointed
Rich, to me, is just a text font.

I wore that red dress you bought me

annetpfeffer
02-05-2013, 10:55 AM
I wore that red dress you bought me
And did that samba you taught me

Nymtoc
02-05-2013, 11:12 AM
I wore that red dress you bought me
And did that samba you taught me
So I don't know why

Sir_Nigel
02-05-2013, 03:41 PM
I wore that red dress you bought me
And did that samba you taught me
So I don't know why
I woke up in Shanghai

flyingtart
02-05-2013, 04:14 PM
I wore that red dress you bought me
And did that samba you taught me
So I don't know why
I woke up in Shanghai
And that's where the Flying Squad caught me


So now will you please pay my bail

kenthepen
02-05-2013, 04:26 PM
So now will you please pay my bail
I promise I'll show without fail

annetpfeffer
02-05-2013, 09:06 PM
So now will you please pay my bail
I promise I'll show without fail
I beg you, believe me

iLion
02-05-2013, 09:42 PM
So now will you please pay my bail
I promise I'll show without fail
I beg you, believe me
One call will retrieve me

JoBird
02-05-2013, 10:07 PM
So now will you please pay my bail
I promise I'll show without fail
I beg you, believe me
One call will retrieve me
Don't leave me to rot in this hell.

You need to start living your life

annetpfeffer
02-05-2013, 11:34 PM
You need to start living your life
For starters, get rid of your wife

Lavern08
02-06-2013, 01:06 AM
You need to start living your life
For starters, get rid of your wife
You'll thank me tomorrow

Matera the Mad
02-06-2013, 09:26 AM
You need to start living your life
For starters, get rid of your wife
You'll thank me tomorrow
For life without sorrow

flyingtart
02-06-2013, 11:20 AM
You need to start living your life
For starters, get rid of your wife
You'll thank me tomorrow
For life without sorrow
Far exceeds trouble and strife


The facts were appalling to read